theonion.com - U.S Chidren Getting Majority Of Antibiotics From McDonald's Meat

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http://www.theonion.com/onion3814/us_children_getting.html

 

17 April 2002

 

U.S Children Getting Majority Of Antibiotics From McDonald's Meat

 

WASHINGTON, DC-According to a Department of Health and Human

Services report released Monday, McDonald's

meat from antibiotics-injected livestock is now the primary source of

antibiotics for U.S. children, particularly for uninsured

youths from low-income households.

 

 

" Unfortunately, some children still fall through the

cracks in

our health-care system, but luckily,

McDonald's

is there to lend a helping hand, " Secretary

of Health

and Human Services Tommy Thompson said

at a press

conference announcing the findings. " So

even if a

child's family has no health insurance and

can't afford

medicine, virtually anyone can afford a

delicious

99-cent Big Mac with pickles, cheese, and a

heapin'

helpin' of [the antibiotic]

 

quinupristin-dalfopristin. "

 

In HHS

tests, 82 percent of

children who

had not been

properly

inoculated were still

found to

have significant levels of

antibiotics

in their bloodstreams.

The

antibiotics, the tests

concluded,

were the result of

sustained

intake of McDonald's

meat.

 

" Disadvantaged children tend to eat at McDonald's a lot, which is

a good thing, " Thompson said. " If you think about it,

where else are these kids going to get their fluoroquinolone? "

 

Large-scale meat producers, Thompson noted, routinely add

antibiotics to the feed of healthy animals to prevent

cross-infection in the crowded, cramped quarters where livestock are

typically raised. In the U.S., the average beef steer receives

eight times more antibiotics than its human counterpart.

 

" When your daughter gets strep throat, head straight over to

McDonald's and prescribe her a delicious Quarter Pounder or

nine-piece Chicken McNuggets, " Thompson said. " She'll not only receive

the amoxycillin she needs to get better, but also a

whole array of growth hormones proven to speed a child's physical

development. "

 

" And if your child prefers Burger King or Wendy's, " he continued,

" that's fine, too. Any of the big fast-food chains can get

them healthy. "

 

While all Americans benefit from the 25 million pounds of

antibiotics fed to chickens, pigs, and cows each year, children

stand to gain the most, U.S. Sen. Richard Lugar (R-IN) said.

 

" Children weigh less than adults, so when they eat a hamburger,

they get a

proportionally more potent dose of antibiotics, " said Lugar, who is

among the

Senate's strongest proponents of fast-food-based health care. " These

antibiotics

are vital in the treatment of such common childhood ailments as sore

throat, ear

infection, and hoof rot. "

 

According to Lugar, waiting in a crowded doctor's office may soon

be a

thing of the past.

 

" Every day, food scientists are discovering new antibiotics,

growth

hormones, and other chemically engineered substances to inject into the

nation's

beef supply, " Lugar said. " And with Americans working longer and longer

hours

just to make ends meet, people can't afford to waste time sitting around

some

waiting room until their name is called. Unlike a doctor, our fast-food

providers

can deliver a full spectrum of antibiotics in minutes-hot, fresh, and

with a smile. "

 

In conjunction with the Department of Health and Human Services,

Burger King will soon release a brochure, " Happy And

Healthy The Burger King Way, " which outlines a 14-day plan for the

treatment of bacterial infections.

 

In the leaflet, a cartoon cow in a medical coat reminds parents to

give their infected children two daily doses of

antibiotic-treated meat for 14 days. If the condition does not improve

after 10 days, the parent or guardian of the ailing child is

instructed to contact a store manager.

 

" If your child has a sinus infection, he or she can drop by before

and after school for a Double Cheeseburger 50cc Meal or a

delicious Chicken Tetracycline, " Burger King spokeswoman Linda Jacobs

said. " As we're fond of saying here at Burger King,

'This won't hurt a bite!' "

 

Though representatives say they're pleased with the praise it has

received, the fast-food industry does not intend to rest on its

laurels.

 

" Repeated use of antibiotics will result in increased resistance

to antibiotics in new strains of bacteria, " said Carl Pickney, lab

researcher for TriCon Global, the fast-food conglomerate that owns KFC,

Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut. " That's why we need to

encourage our meat suppliers to continually raise the levels of

antibiotics in their meat, developing newer, stronger antibiotics to

replace those that no longer work. We're making good progress, but we've

still got a whole lot of meat to modify. "