A vegan's letter on why eating vegans will not help the environment, nor end hun

[Guest guest]

Most of the time, I'm just fine with being the recipient of a good vegan joke. I

heard one just the other day this Easter: " You know why vegans are so thin,

right? " Er, why? " Because even they don't like the taste of their own food. " Not

bad. Taking yourself too seriously is not cool, and you become that vegan. But a

senior at the School of Nuclear Engineering at Purdue University wrote a

satirical letter to the editor that would make Jonathan Swift roll over in his

grave. His proposal? Eating vegans would help the environment, end hunger.

 

Oh, Mr. S. Hayoung Oh, the gauntlet is thrown... it's on. When I read this, I

just had to comment. Couldn't help it. We'll address this one on the

line-by-line:

 

" In a letter published last Friday, it was suggested that the switch from " meat

to wheat " would help the environment and win the war against hunger. Sounds

good, but I really like meat. So I propose a better solution: that vegans donate

their flesh for consumption. Switching from meat/poultry/fish to human flesh

would require no additional resources. "

 

Of course switching to human flesh would require additional resources. Do you at

all understand the logistics behind how your precious steak is made as opposed

to how your chicken is packaged? Cows, for one, receive a stun gun in the middle

of their head which hopefully kills them, but if not then they end up slowly

bleeding to death. Chickens are decapitated through a conveyer-belt system, but

those that aren't die in the next phase which is getting boiled alive. Lovely,

right? The implementation and redesign of an industry to slaughter humans would

require a great deal of resources from land to labor to capital...but given the

eerie resemblance of a concentration camp, I fear the moral and political

barriers will be too difficult to overcome (unless you have lobbyists wearing

pointy white hats working for you).

 

" The surplus meat produced would be sent to poverty-stricken regions of the

world; this way the war on hunger is won, and everyone gets their nutrition,

whether from meat or from vegan flesh. "

 

Hate to say it, but if people in impoverished nations really thought the

solution was easily implemented as you state it to be, they would've already

eaten each other. As is, mad cow disease is actually the direct cause of cows

eating each other. So, if humans ate each other in turn, the results would be

nothing short of disastrous. Next, your parasitic mindset is what got the planet

in this mess in the first place. Consuming for the sake of consumption without

thinking of the long term consequences is the reason we're facing global warming

and poverty in the first place. Let's analyze basic supply and demand to explain

this: around .4-1.2% of the US population is vegan, translating to 1.5 to 4.6

million vegans total. Do you know how many animals are killed for food each year

in the US? 9.6 billion. Given those statistics, for how long do you think your

idea could feed a population around 4 times the size of the US? One meal total,

maybe? And THIS is your idea to end world hunger? So, you kill off a meaningful

part of the US population who promote sustainability probably more than any

other minority... just to feed a group just one meal. Wow. I'm telling you man,

people like you are the reason we're running out of oil at an alarming rate

because you think that enough of it will magically appear. Let me guess: you're

the type who likes coming up with idiotic short-term solutions like drilling in

Alaska to make gas a quarter cheaper for one week at the expense of an entire

ecosystem in the arctic.

 

" Vegans who donated themselves for consumption are happy because they helped the

environment, and non-vegans are happy because they won't have to be bothered by

people handing pamphlets with pictures of abused cattle, trying to make me feel

guilty. "

 

No, actually, I'm getting sick of subsidizing your consumption lifestyle even

without this supposed " sacrifice " you propose. I already have to compensate for

your carbon foot print as is. As for us trying to make you feel guilty, how many

vegans do you even know? I'm going to doubt you've been accosted by over a

million of us... but goodness knows I've been accosted by the rather perturbing

sight of your rack of ribs on a plate enough times.

 

" What's more, this solution would help the economy. The recently laid-off

workers could take the former jobs of the vegans who so graciously donated their

flesh to help the environment and win the war on hunger. Fixing the economic

crisis – how's that for a side effect? "

 

*Sigh*... Oh Hayoung Oh. Again, statistics. Don't you use any of that at your

fine institution? If the US unemployment rate is around 8.5%, and the vegan

population is around 1%, this means that 7.5% of the population remains

unemployed. Hardly an accomplishment.

 

" The choice is clear: We can demonstrate how much we care about humanity by

cannibalizing a vegan. Vegan-Megan steak, medium rare. "

 

Or, we can demonstrate how much we care about humanity by, you know, not making

our species look bad by killing animals just for the selfish reasons of your

taste buds. Logic of this Purdue student-very rare, with a side order of

ignorance.

http://www.examiner.com/x-4348-Phoenix-Vegan-Examiner~y2009m4d16-A-direct-refuta\

tion-on-why-eating-vegans-will-not-help-the-environment-nor-end-hunger