Guest guest Posted October 3, 2003 Report Share Posted October 3, 2003 A raw foodist and a priest are on a plane together. They had been flying along for a few hours together and had gotten to know each other pretty well. The priest turns to the raw foodist and asks " So in all your time being raw you have never eaten anything cooked? Now you can confess to me as I am a priest, and I would never tell a soul. Have you had anything cooked in that time? " " Well father, " the raw foodist replied, there was a time when I was with a dear friend and he was eating a cheese burger with fries, and he offered me some fries, and I ate two of them. " How did they taste? " asked the priest. " They tasted OK replied the raw foodist. " Were they just OK? Or were they delicious? " Inquired the priest. " Alright, alright. They were delicious replied the raw foodist. With that the priest laid back in his seat with a big satisfied grin on his face. A short time later, the raw foodist turns to the priest and asks " Excuse me father, but do I understand correctly that you priests can't have sex? " " Yes " replied the priest " Upon entering the priesthood we take a vow of celibacy. " With that, the raw foodist said; " Tell me father I promise I will never tell a soul; Have you had sex since you became a priest? " " Since you were honest with me " replied the priest " I must be honest with you; there was a time I was with a parishioner, we were both swept away in a moment of passion, and we made love. " To this the raw foodist said " Better than fries isn't it? Doug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2003 Report Share Posted October 3, 2003 Heeheeheeheeheehee, that's an awesome joke Doug, way to lighten up the group, thanks, :) :) :) Kris rawfood , kauguy <no_reply> wrote: > A raw foodist and a priest are on a plane together. > They had been flying along for a few hours together > and had gotten to know each other pretty well. The > priest turns to the raw foodist and asks " So in all your > time being raw you have never eaten anything cooked? > Now you can confess to me as I am a priest, and I > would never tell a soul. Have you had anything cooked > in that time? " " Well father, " the raw foodist replied, > there was a time when I was with a dear friend and he > was eating a cheese burger with fries, and he offered me > some fries, and I ate two of them. " How did they taste? " > asked the priest. " They tasted OK replied the raw foodist. > " Were they just OK? Or were they delicious? " Inquired > the priest. " Alright, alright. They were delicious > replied the raw foodist. With that the priest laid back > in his seat with a big satisfied grin on his face. > > A short time later, the raw foodist turns to the priest > and asks " Excuse me father, but do I understand correctly > that you priests can't have sex? " " Yes " replied the priest > " Upon entering the priesthood we take a vow of celibacy. " > With that, the raw foodist said; " Tell me father I promise > I will never tell a soul; Have you had sex since you > became a priest? " " Since you were honest with me " > replied the priest " I must be honest with you; there was > a time I was with a parishioner, we were both swept away > in a moment of passion, and we made love. " To this the > raw foodist said " Better than fries isn't it? > > > Doug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2003 Report Share Posted October 3, 2003 First joke I have hear here in three years! Peter sisterkris2003 [sisterkris2003] 03 October 2003 19:12 rawfood [Raw Food] Re: Joke Heeheeheeheeheehee, that's an awesome joke Doug, way to lighten up the group, thanks, :) :) :) Kris rawfood , kauguy <no_reply> wrote: > A raw foodist and a priest are on a plane together. > They had been flying along for a few hours together > and had gotten to know each other pretty well. The > priest turns to the raw foodist and asks " So in all your > time being raw you have never eaten anything cooked? > Now you can confess to me as I am a priest, and I > would never tell a soul. Have you had anything cooked > in that time? " " Well father, " the raw foodist replied, > there was a time when I was with a dear friend and he > was eating a cheese burger with fries, and he offered me > some fries, and I ate two of them. " How did they taste? " > asked the priest. " They tasted OK replied the raw foodist. > " Were they just OK? Or were they delicious? " Inquired > the priest. " Alright, alright. They were delicious > replied the raw foodist. With that the priest laid back > in his seat with a big satisfied grin on his face. > > A short time later, the raw foodist turns to the priest > and asks " Excuse me father, but do I understand correctly > that you priests can't have sex? " " Yes " replied the priest > " Upon entering the priesthood we take a vow of celibacy. " > With that, the raw foodist said; " Tell me father I promise > I will never tell a soul; Have you had sex since you > became a priest? " " Since you were honest with me " > replied the priest " I must be honest with you; there was > a time I was with a parishioner, we were both swept away > in a moment of passion, and we made love. " To this the > raw foodist said " Better than fries isn't it? > > > Doug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Not that funny, but short on jokes at the moment. Lets see if I can make fun of myself and offend three other nationalities at the same time! Jokes of the dayA cultural comparison Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad. Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer. Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness. Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them. Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem. Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box. Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels. Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels. Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them. Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball. Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby. Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball. Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in. Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English". Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English". Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans. Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool. Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country. Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country. Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer. Canadians: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer. Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer. Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect. Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things. Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers. The Valley Vegan.........Peter H Messenger NEW - crystal clear PC to PC calling worldwide with voicemail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2005 Report Share Posted August 23, 2005 Yup, none of this matters after quite a few beers....peter hurd <swpgh01 wrote: Not that funny, but short on jokes at the moment. Lets see if I can make fun of myself and offend three other nationalities at the same time! Jokes of the dayA cultural comparison Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad. Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer. Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness. Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them. Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem. Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box. Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels. Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels. Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them. Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball. Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby. Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball. Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in. Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English". Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English". Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans. Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool. Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country. Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country. Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer. Canadians: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer. Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer. Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect. Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things. Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers. The Valley Vegan......... Peter H Messenger NEW - crystal clear PC to PC calling worldwide with voicemail Jonnie Start your day with - make it your home page Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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