Killing A Baby Harp Seal: AN ARTICLE IN IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY!!!

March 9, 2004

This is probably meant to be a joke, nonetheless, it is a stupid, ignorant piece of trash. We have too many people in our society who will think this is true. Seals are not vicious animals and do not attack people. Please read the information below this piece of trash article.

Contact info. for the author of this article is below. He is a college student. What a shocker, NOT! It seems some college students have nothing better to do (while most are dedicated and serious about their education.) If you would like to let him know that his "musings" on the net, about harp seals, is in bad taste, especially since they are suffering horrendously at the hands of ignorant, greedy hunters, please be respectful and polite. Ask him to remove this article, which paints a completely false picture of the seals and their plight.

Thanks,

Rita

Killing A Baby Harp Seal

http://www.pbones.com/writings/babyharpseals.php

FEAR!

It should be noted that the inspiration for this piece came from a third party, so if you find it tasteless, well, blame her. When this anonymous "she" saw the title of my index page for this site ("Killing Time...And Baby Harp Seals"), "she" wanted more details. That is, "she" wanted details on the exact procedure for killing a Harp seal. I did the research, and learned the truth about these terrifying, carnivorous lions-of-the-Arctic. Keep reading, learn well, and should one of these dangerous beasts ever cross your path, you might be able to defend yourself. Rule #1: Never look directly at the Harp Seal! Look at the picture at the top of the page. What just happened? You thought something along the lines of "Oh, how adorable!". If there were really a Harp seal that close to your skull, by the time your were thinking the first syllable of the word 'adorable', you wouldn't have a face. It'd just be entirely gone, swallowed whole. Harp seals are evil, epidermis-hungry killing machines, and the first thing they go for is the face. Rule #2: Running won't work.. Sure, if you look at what these guys become as they grow up, you'll think you could practically crawl away from one of them. I mean, look at this guy:

He's just jampacked full of blubber. Doesn't matter! He could outrun you, your car, and your Concorde supersonic jet. And you don't even own a Concorde supersonic jet, so you're really up shit creek! No sir, once you come in to contact with one of these bad boys, your only choice is to fight him. Rule #3: Speak softly, and carry a big gun. Oh, sure, you've heard that the way to do it is with a club. "Clubbing seals for oil" and all that. The Inuits (Eskimos) may use a club, but that's only because they don't have the advanced weaponry we do. That's right, I'm talking about the Mac-10:

Your best prayer for surviving an attack by one of these beasts out is the ability to spray 20 rounds per second in its general direction. The layers of blubber may slow down bullets, but with the Mac-10's power and a few extra clips of ammunition, you should be able to finish the Harp seal off eventually. So there you have it. Don't look at the seal. Don't try to run from the seal. Do shoot the seal with your Mac-10. If you ever find yourself in the middle of a Harp seal attack, these are the simple rules you'll need to survive and Kill A Baby Harp Seal. Be sure to write your Congressmen to ensure their continued support for your right to bear Mac-10's. And if there are any naysayers out there who don't believe a baby Harp seal could be so deadly, I say to you only that I've published this on the Web, and if it's on the Internet, it must be true.

Site Last Updated: 03.03.2004 @ 15:22 EST

Paul Kafasis

142D Hillside Apartments Tufts University Medford, MA 02155

PHONE 617.627.1695 (x1695) Cel: 609.213.4380

E-mail: <paul

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Your Journey To The Ice Floes & Our Commitment to Traveler SafetyEach season Natural Habitat Adventures brings its own private helicopter(s) into the islands. This provides us with exclusive use of the helicopters, allowing us great flexibility in offering trips to the seal herds that meet the needs of our guests. On inclement days we may stay for an hour, on beautiful days we have stayed as long as half a day. Of course, all schedules depend on weather and equipment conditions as well our travelers' abilities and desires. Our journey to the seal herds may take anywhere from 5 minutes to 1 hour, providing wonderful views of the frozen Gulf of St. Lawrence from the air. We normally land amongst hundreds of seals. When we approach them some may scurry away and others may bark at us like little puppy dogs.But others, still, may allow us to approach them carefully and actually rub their bellies and softly pat their heads.

Research has shown that this does not harm the animals and it is surely one of life's greatest thrills! Safety for our travelers, and for the seals, is our main concern.

http://www.nathab.com/app/cda/nha_cda.php?command=Adventure & adventureId=101> ATTACHMENT part 2 image/jpeg name=babyharpseal.jpg> ATTACHMENT part 3 image/jpeg name=adultharpseal.jpg> ATTACHMENT part 4 image/jpeg name=mac10.jpg

Rita Fazio,

Korea Animal Protection Society (KAPS)

International Aid for Korean Animals (IAKA)

http://www.koreananimals.org/index.htm

Don't turn your back upon their pain, because it's hard to see.They have no other place to turn, They've only you and me.

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