veg & non-veg relationships - perspective

February 19, 2008

, "Dan Brook" <brook wrote:>> Hmmm... I don't know if that makes vegetarians look bad or> not, but this was something I used to do. When my> girlfriend ate meat or fish, before she eventually became> my vegetarian wife, I would insist that she wash out her> mouth before we kissed.

> I'd be interested in hearing what others have to say about> this.

I'd guess this would be more of an issue depending on each person's reasons for being veg*n. i.e. if for ethical reasons, which is my primary reason, I can see how that would be gross. But you're not alone, I know others who do or have done this.

Obviously our reasons for veg*nism influence our perspective and reactions differently than non-veg people. When I do occasionally catch a commercial for KFC, my first reaction is not "Oh, yummy" -- but how horrible it is to see the promotion of this "product" -- faceless, shapeless, totally not representative of the intelligent, inquisitive beings that are chickens. That's probably not what a meat-eater is thinking... Check out this link about chickens ~

http://www.goveg.com/factoryFarming_chickens.asp

When I am doing outreach, and if people approach the table to talk and they are eating and have "meat" on a stick or on a plate, I will ask them not to hold their "food" over the table (I don't say this, but I really don't want particles of some poor dead animal on my stack of Vegetarian Starter Kits or Why Vegan? booklets)

I think dating a non-veg person could be a great litmus test about the future of a relationship .... and for someone who dates a lot and is able to convince their dates to go and remain veg, that could be considered a form of outreach, too

But I'm also not single nor dating so maybe someone who is should reply.

Cheers,

Tammy

Bay Area Vegetarianswww.BayAreaVeg.org

February 19, 2008

wow. yah. a potent topic for me, particularly today.

as it turns out, i've been reminded of how, on the contrary side of things, veganism is really just the bottom line for any meaningful relationship for an ethical vegan--at least i can say as much for myself.

that being said, it's pretty clear to me right now that even that is not enough in and of itself.

perhaps this is obvious, but i feel compelled to state it--given my current situation, which need not be explicated.

there are many differences between people, ethical ones included, that effect relationships...even when some common ground is established on something as strong of a conviction as ethical veganism.

to not try and see if a relationship can work because of differences on these perspectives on life...as deep as some are...seems a mistake to me. trying despite differences of this sort is an important step to take...

....when there are other factors attracting two people together.

differences like these can work themselves out, given a more natural atmosphere to do so than a detached and impersonal argument about the differences could ever hope to accomplish.

that said, it's certainly not guaranteed to work out. still, it'll never happen unless one tries (or two in this case).

that's my two cents worth.

cheers.

will

"Tammy, BAVeg" <tBAV mail list ; brookSent: Monday, February 18, 2008 9:27:35 PM veg & non-veg relationships - perspective

@ .com, "Dan Brook" <brook wrote:>> Hmmm... I don't know if that makes vegetarians look bad or> not, but this was something I used to do. When my> girlfriend ate meat or fish, before she eventually became> my vegetarian wife, I would insist that she wash out her> mouth before we kissed.

> I'd be interested in hearing what others have to say about> this.

I'd guess this would be more of an issue depending on each person's reasons for being veg*n. i.e. if for ethical reasons, which is my primary reason, I can see how that would be gross. But you're not alone, I know others who do or have done this.

Obviously our reasons for veg*nism influence our perspective and reactions differently than non-veg people. When I do occasionally catch a commercial for KFC, my first reaction is not "Oh, yummy" -- but how horrible it is to see the promotion of this "product" -- faceless, shapeless, totally not representative of the intelligent, inquisitive beings that are chickens. That's probably not what a meat-eater is thinking... Check out this link about chickens ~

http://www.goveg. com/factoryFarmi ng_chickens. asp

When I am doing outreach, and if people approach the table to talk and they are eating and have "meat" on a stick or on a plate, I will ask them not to hold their "food" over the table (I don't say this, but I really don't want particles of some poor dead animal on my stack of Vegetarian Starter Kits or Why Vegan? booklets)

I think dating a non-veg person could be a great litmus test about the future of a relationship .... and for someone who dates a lot and is able to convince their dates to go and remain veg, that could be considered a form of outreach, too

But I'm also not single nor dating so maybe someone who is should reply.

Cheers,

Tammy

Bay Area Vegetarianswww.BayAreaVeg.org

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February 19, 2008

>to not try and see if a relationship can work because of differences on these perspectives on life...as deep as some are...seems a mistake to me. trying despite differences of this sort is an important step to take...I agree completely. After my first and only relationship with an omnivore (that somehow dragged on for two years despite being a complete disaster), I swore off dating non-vegans ever again. It wasn't until about five years later when I gave another omnivore a chance, because we had an amazing connection from the get-go, that I met the love of my life. As it turned out, he just needed to be offered informational resources for him to decide to go vegan on his own.Louisa

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February 20, 2008

exactly.

even beyond veganism/nonveganism as differences, other things such as religious and political beliefs are insufficient grounds to determine the potential functionality of a relationship.

the day to day little things that make up the entirety of a romantic relationship have so much effect on how we can approach those differences...in slower, more personal, and therefore more effective ways.

getting to know someone for who they are, beyond who they're voting for has an immeasurable effect on one's feelings for that person, and, subsequently, our perspectives on...their perspectives!

....and more appreciation for them on the whole.

will

Louisa <skipping_cows Sent: Tuesday, February 19, 2008 3:09:29 PM Re: veg & non-veg relationships - perspective

>to not try and see if a relationship can work because of differences on these perspectives on life...as deep as some are...seems a mistake to me. trying despite differences of this sort is an important step to take...I agree completely. After my first and only relationship with an omnivore (that somehow dragged on for two years despite being a complete disaster), I swore off dating non-vegans ever again. It wasn't until about five years later when I gave another omnivore a chance, because we had an amazing connection from the get-go, that I met the love of my life. As it turned out, he just needed to be offered informational resources for him to decide to go vegan on his own.Louisa

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