Oh help!!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi Marilyn,

 

Wow, my heart goes out to you and your family when I read this post.

Sounds like you are feeling frustrated and desperate as well as

frightened...is that right? I can hear that you are feeling terrified

about what would happen if your husband is not around.

 

I guess the first thing I'd like to offer is that there is no

guarantee he will change, no matter what you do. No matter how much

information you give him, if he is not ready, willing AND able to hear

it, he will not receive it, and you will feel frustrated. Perhaps you

will experience more connection with him if you hear what is important

to HIM (if he is willing to tell you!). Maybe he can't imagine

enjoying eating anything other than what he presently eats, and he is

feeling terrified that he will never experience pleasure from food

again. Maybe he is, deep down, frightened about losing his autonomy

and freedom of choice if he agrees to do what you have begged him to

do. Do you think so?

 

As far as recipes - have you seen Rip Esselstyn's " The Engine 2 Diet " ?

My impression of the book is that it has many recipes that would

please " big manly men " , including some good hearty breakfast

recipes and alternatives to egg dishes, sandwiches, wraps, salads,

veggie burgers, potato sides, comfort foods, stir fries, tex mex

favorites, etc. Very SAD-friendly, in my opinion.

 

You mentioned he likes the McDougall soups - I'd suggest making large

batches (use a slow-cooker and you won't have to stand over the stove

watching it - it will save you a ton of time while you are busy

homeschooling your kids!) and freezing the leftovers. If you freeze

them in individual size containers, he can pack them for lunches at

work, just thawing out what he needs.

 

Is this the type of info you were looking for? Let us know how things go,

 

Bethany

 

 

 

Quoting youhavehowmany:

 

>

>

>

> I have begged, pleaded, and cried. I have sent him articles, and

> underlined things in books. And yet my husband has steadfastly

> refused to change his diet. He kept wanting more and more and more

> " proof " --but I knew it would never be enough, and that he simply

> didn't want to change.

>

> His health has been getting worse for years, and I have been angry

> and frustrated because I KNEW his issues were reversable through

> diet. This morning, I lost it. Big time. I told him how sick *I* was

> at watching him decline. I told him I knew he wouldn't be around to

> see his kids grow up (he's 63, and our youngest three are 3, 10,

> and 11). He's already outlived both his parents--they died at 48

> and 61. He has issues that lead to a heart attack sometime in the

> next few years, if things don't change. I am TERRIFIED.

>

> Anyway, long story short, I told him to give me six weeks. He asked

> me what we would eat. I told him that first thing was dairy was

> out--completely. But I didn't get any farther into things yet. I

> know I can get him to do vegetarian (leaving in eggs--which I get

> straight from an organic farmer, so they are excellent quality). He

> wants a good breakfast. He likes salad, but is picky about

> vegetables. He really likes some of Dr. McDougall's soup recipes,

> which I already make at least once a month. But I am TOTALLY

> panicking, now that I am committed to feeding the whole family this

> way!

>

> I can't feed him " weird stuff " . He's not crazy about ethnic dishes.

> I have six kids to feed also, and I'm homeschooling, so things have

> to be quick, easy, and child-friendly. What should I do? Where do I

> start? After all these years I'm finally getting to feed my family

> the way I want--and now I am PANICKING. Give me some man-pleasing,

> delicious meal ideas that a SAD-eating person would like, PLEASE!!!

> Any advice or help is really, really welcome! Marilyn

>

[Guest guest]

>Sounds like you are feeling frustrated and desperate as well as

>frightened...is that right?

 

You hit that right on the head! His parents died young, and I don't want to lose him! He's an awesome husband and father!

 

> I guess the first thing I'd like to offer is that there is no

>guarantee he will change, no matter what you do.

 

Oh how well I know that! But if I can at least make our HOME safe, I will feel I am doing all I can--for him, myself and our kids. Several of us also have health issues, and just the "no meat and dairy" alone would help tremendously. Now my refrigerator's fill of cheese, milk, and things I know some of us can't eat, and it's frustrating and annoying that the refrigerator in my own home isn't safe for us all.

 

> Perhaps you

>will experience more connection with him if you hear what is important

>to HIM (if he is willing to tell you!).

 

Basically what's important to HIM is that I not rock the boat! Change is nearly impossible for him. But yes, I do ask him things like this, and he will tell me, and we will reach some sort of understanding. We do usually communicate fairly well when we can actually get some time alone to talk!

 

> Maybe he can't imagine

>enjoying eating anything other than what he presently eats, and he is

>feeling terrified that he will never experience pleasure from food

>again. Maybe he is, deep down, frightened about losing his autonomy

>and freedom of choice if he agrees to do what you have begged him to

>do. Do you think so?

 

All of that. I'm honest enough to admit it, and acknowledge his difficulties. Hey--I'm scared too! I LIKE throwing a roast in the crockpot, or a chicken in the oven and knowing dinner's cooking. Sorry, but to be honest, I do! This means change for me, too!

 

>As far as recipes - have you seen Rip Esselstyn's "The Engine 2 Diet"?

>My impression of the book is that it has many recipes that would

>please "big manly men" , including some good hearty breakfast

>recipes and alternatives to egg dishes, sandwiches, wraps, salads,

>veggie burgers, potato sides, comfort foods, stir fries, tex mex

>favorites, etc. Very SAD-friendly, in my opinion.

 

I'm going on Amazon right after I send this post, and I'm ordering that book! THANKS!

 

>You mentioned he likes the McDougall soups - I'd suggest making large

>batches (use a slow-cooker and you won't have to stand over the stove

>watching it - it will save you a ton of time while you are busy

>homeschooling your kids!) and freezing the leftovers. If you freeze

>them in individual size containers, he can pack them for lunches at

>work, just thawing out what he needs.

 

Good idea! I have NO idea what his situation at work will be yet--he just got a new job, and training starts next Saturday. But once he sees how things will go, we can see if this is an option for him.

 

>Is this the type of info you were looking for? Let us know how things go,

 

Yes, it is! I just wanted to know someone out there understood. I tried and tried for YEARS not to push him, but I'm terrified and I can't sit still anymore and watch his choices kill him--which they will, and soon. And since two of us here also desperately need to change our diets, and my kitchen is full of foods WE can't have, this is important for ALL of us, not just him. I want everyone to feel they can go in the kitchen and have things that won't hurt them. Hard to do when everyone isn't on the same page.

 

I'll let everyone know how things are going. Marilyn

[Guest guest]

Hello Marilyn,

 

Good luck to you while making these changes. I just wanted to add to Bethany's post to let you know that Rip Esselstyn has many (if not ALL) of the recipes from his book posted on his website. They do truly sound like food that could help your husband and you with this transition. I wouldn't say all of them are "quick and easy", but they sure do sound tasty. Since it is so important to you that your husband happily make these changes, for the next 6 weeks I would suggest enlisting all of the help you can while the new eating patterns are set in place. Even if that means hiring/bartering/begging (!) some help from friends. I bet they would love to bring over a healthy meal to your family that would help you reach your goals.

 

Here are the websites:

 

Engine2Diet.com

 

Engine2academy.com (You have to log in for this website, but it's free)

 

Good luck!

 

Hope Ann

 

 

 

--- On Sat, 3/13/10, youhavehowmany <youhavehowmany wrote:

youhavehowmany <youhavehowmany Oh help!!!!mcd12day , , mwlp Date: Saturday, March 13, 2010, 8:57 AM

 

I have begged, pleaded, and cried. I have sent him articles, and underlined things in books. And yet my husband has steadfastly refused to change his diet. He kept wanting more and more and more "proof"--but I knew it would never be enough, and that he simply didn't want to change.

 

His health has been getting worse for years, and I have been angry and frustrated because I KNEW his issues were reversable through diet. This morning, I lost it. Big time. I told him how sick *I* was at watching him decline. I told him I knew he wouldn't be around to see his kids grow up (he's 63, and our youngest three are 3, 10, and 11). He's already outlived both his parents--they died at 48 and 61. He has issues that lead to a heart attack sometime in the next few years, if things don't change. I am TERRIFIED.

 

Anyway, long story short, I told him to give me six weeks. He asked me what we would eat. I told him that first thing was dairy was out--completely. But I didn't get any farther into things yet. I know I can get him to do vegetarian (leaving in eggs--which I get straight from an organic farmer, so they are excellent quality). He wants a good breakfast. He likes salad, but is picky about vegetables. He really likes some of Dr. McDougall's soup recipes, which I already make at least once a month. But I am TOTALLY panicking, now that I am committed to feeding the whole family this way!

 

I can't feed him "weird stuff". He's not crazy about ethnic dishes. I have six kids to feed also, and I'm homeschooling, so things have to be quick, easy, and child-friendly. What should I do? Where do I start? After all these years I'm finally getting to feed my family the way I want--and now I am PANICKING. Give me some man-pleasing, delicious meal ideas that a SAD-eating person would like, PLEASE!!! Any advice or help is really, really welcome! Marilyn

[Guest guest]

Hi Marilyn,

 

I'm glad I was able to show you that someone understands =).

 

When I see what you wrote below

 

" Hey--I'm scared too! I LIKE throwing a roast in the crockpot, or a

chicken in the oven and knowing dinner's cooking. Sorry, but to be

honest, I do! This means change for me, too! "

 

what comes to mind for me is that if you don't make the change (with

or without him), why should he trust that you know what you are

talking about, no matter how much information you give him from

" experts. " Why not start buying healthy food and stop buying the other

stuff? You can cook healthy meals and they can be there for him should

he choose to eat them. If he wants the other stuff, he can buy and

prepare it himself, or eat out. This way, he can be exposed to the

healthier stuff at his own pace, and you don't have to contribute to

something you believe is hurting him and your children.

 

If your children ask what is going on, tell them " I want to be

healthy. I learned that if I stop eating cheese and butter and start

eating foods that come from plants, I may not get sick when I'm older.

So I'm learning how to make delicious foods that come from plants.

Would you like to help me? "

 

See the difference? It's using invitation, not force. If they don't

want to participate, that's okay....just keep doing it yourself, and

keep making it available to everyone else. Learn how to make recipes

you think might appeal to them. Keep tons of fresh, ripe fruit around

and visible for easy snacking. If you don't want people to eat

unhealthy food in the house, don't buy it.

 

And...it sounds like this may be a big transition for you, too...so,

treat yourself as kindly as you would like to treat your family. Don't

force yourself to eat something you don't like just because you think

it's healthy. Focus on preparing healthy foods that you do like to

eat, and stocking the house with those foods, and not the foods that

you would like to avoid.

 

AND...if you love throwing meat in the crockpot...I make TONS of

healthy soups, stews and bean dishes in the crockpot, no meat or added

oils needed. There is a great book by Robin Robertson for those

looking to get started.

 

Is this helpful in any way?

 

Bethany

 

Quoting youhavehowmany:

 

Hey--I'm scared too! I LIKE throwing a roast in the

> crockpot, or a chicken in the oven and knowing dinner's cooking.

> Sorry, but to be honest, I do! This means change for me, too!

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for those websites, Hope Ann! I really don't have many friends here yet, since we just moved here a few months ago. But I do belong to a local group for people following the Hallelujah Diet, and they are mostly around our age (anywhere from early 30's-around 80, with most being in their 60's). Maybe one month he would come with me to the meeting. He'd see I wasn't weird, or alone in my beliefs, and that everyday, older people ARE vegans!

 

Scared but hopeful. Marilyn

[Guest guest]

Thanks for adding the website to my post, Hope Ann! I'd forgotten

about the website. It has other great tools for those just starting

out such as shopping lists.

 

Bethany

 

 

 

Quoting Hope Ann Ferris <hopeannferris:

 

> Hello Marilyn,

>  

> Good luck to you while making these changes.  I just wanted to add

> to Bethany's post to let you know that Rip Esselstyn has many (if

> not ALL) of the recipes from his book posted on his website.  They

> do truly sound like food that could help your husband and you with

> this transition.  I wouldn't say all of them are  " quick and easy " ,

> but they sure do sound tasty.  Since it is so important to you that

> your husband happily make these changes, for the next 6 weeks I

> would suggest enlisting all of the help you can while the new eating

> patterns are set in place.  Even if that means

> hiring/bartering/begging (!) some help from friends. I bet they

> would love to bring over a healthy meal to your family that would

> help you reach your goals.

>  

> Here are the websites:

>  

> Engine2Diet.com 

>  

> Engine2academy.com  (You have to log in for this website, but it's free)

>  

> Good luck!

>  

> Hope Ann  

>  

>  

>  

>

> --- On Sat, 3/13/10, youhavehowmany <youhavehowmany wrote:

>

>

> youhavehowmany <youhavehowmany

> Oh help!!!!

> mcd12day , ,

> mwlp

> Saturday, March 13, 2010, 8:57 AM

>

>

>  

I have begged, pleaded, and cried. I have sent him articles, and

> underlined things in books. And yet my husband has steadfastly

> refused to change his diet. He kept wanting more and more and more

> " proof " --but I knew it would never be enough, and that he simply

> didn't want to change.

>  

> His health has been getting worse for years, and I have been angry

> and frustrated because I KNEW his issues were reversable through

> diet. This morning, I lost it. Big time. I told him how sick *I* was

> at watching him decline. I told him I knew he wouldn't be around to

> see his kids grow up (he's 63, and our youngest three are 3, 10,

> and 11). He's already outlived both his parents--they died at 48

> and 61. He has issues that lead to a heart attack sometime in the

> next few years, if things don't change. I am TERRIFIED.

>  

> Anyway, long story short, I told him to give me six weeks. He asked

> me what we would eat. I told him that first thing was dairy was

> out--completely. But I didn't get any farther into things yet. I

> know I can get him to do vegetarian (leaving in eggs--which I get

> straight from an organic farmer, so they are excellent quality). He

> wants a good breakfast. He likes salad, but is picky about

> vegetables. He really likes some of Dr. McDougall's soup recipes,

> which I already make at least once a month. But I am TOTALLY

> panicking, now that I am committed to feeding the whole family this

> way!

>  

> I can't feed him " weird stuff " . He's not crazy about ethnic dishes.

> I have six kids to feed also, and I'm homeschooling, so things have

> to be quick, easy, and child-friendly. What should I do? Where do I

> start? After all these years I'm finally getting to feed my family

> the way I want--and now I am PANICKING. Give me some

> man-pleasing, delicious meal ideas that a SAD-eating person would

> like, PLEASE!!! Any advice or help is really, really welcome! Marilyn

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When I see what you wrote below

 

"Hey--I'm scared too! I LIKE throwing a roast in the crockpot, or a

chicken in the oven and knowing dinner's cooking. Sorry, but to be

honest, I do! This means change for me, too!"

 

what comes to mind for me is that if you don't make the change (with

or without him), why should he trust that you know what you are

talking about, no matter how much information you give him from

"experts."

 

To be honest, with a family this size, I simply don't have the ROOM for all the various diets and their ingredients! With literally gallons of cow milk in the refrigerator, where do I put the soymilk? With leftover chickens and roasts in there, where do I put all the fresh veggies and fruits? I see your point, although I'm thinking of it from a more practical standpoint of space limitations. And if he's constantly asking "where's the beef", how can I cook vegan for the rest of us? It's nearly impossible. I make spagetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry, and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts, seeds, veggies (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in. He simply can't see a meatless meal! Yes, I have made meatless meals, but I know he's always waiting for the "real food". I seriously flinch when I make those meatless meals because I'm waiting for the inevitable question, and it's ANNOYING. Being honest here. I MADE a "real meal"! EAT!

 

Why not start buying healthy food and stop buying the other

stuff? You can cook healthy meals and they can be there for him should

he choose to eat them. If he wants the other stuff, he can buy and

prepare it himself, or eat out. This way, he can be exposed to the

healthier stuff at his own pace, and you don't have to contribute to

something you believe is hurting him and your children.

 

If he's doing it, the kids will too. And frankly I'm TIRED of seeing my kids (and him) eating things I know are harmful. I'm also tired of constantly being tempted in my own home! I like those same foods! I shouldn't have them. I know I shouldn't. But if they're there, it's not fair to me, and to my daughter who also shouldn't have them. Then I get resentful and angry. And that's not healthy either. He can't afford to eat out, and I'd feel really weird asking him to "make your own dinner". That's just not our way. And anyway, that would mean the stuff is still here, and maybe the kids would see that as "treat food" instead of BAD food, and I sure don't want that!

 

If your children ask what is going on, tell them "I want to be

healthy. I learned that if I stop eating cheese and butter and start

eating foods that come from plants, I may not get sick when I'm older.

So I'm learning how to make delicious foods that come from plants.

Would you like to help me?"

 

That would work, and that I will do. My kids aren't stupid. But they do need (I think) to see BOTH parents on board. I just wish he would go into this more willingly and enthusiastically! I can't believe he wouldn't want to see just how beneficial this could be. It's kind of puzzling to me how resistant he really is. Food is your fuel. Fuel determines how you function. These foods are what you are eating, so therefore they are what's causing your disease. So you STOP, and try new things, and see how you feel. SIMPLE. I guess I'm just stunned at the level of deliberate ignorance or willfiul resistance. I love him dearly, but I simply don't understand this brick wall!

 

See the difference? It's using invitation, not force. If they don't

want to participate, that's okay....just keep doing it yourself, and

keep making it available to everyone else. Learn how to make recipes

you think might appeal to them. Keep tons of fresh, ripe fruit around

and visible for easy snacking. If you don't want people to eat

unhealthy food in the house, don't buy it.

 

To be honest, I DON'T buy a lot of unhealthy foods. We have just about nothing here with any "artificials", corn syrup, etc. and haven't for years. We do snack a LOT on raw fruits and veggies. I even frequently make smoothies as dessert, or we eat just fruit for dessert, and no one thinks there's anything wrong with that. My husband has a lot of healthy habits in place. He likes whole grain cereals and breads, eats a lot of salad, and has fresh squeezed OJ and a plate of fresh berries every day for breakfast. It's mainly the dairy and meat, where the problems come in.

 

And...it sounds like this may be a big transition for you, too...so,

treat yourself as kindly as you would like to treat your family. Don't

force yourself to eat something you don't like just because you think

it's healthy.

 

LOL! I've run into a LOT of those recipes on websites and in books. BLECCH! I want plain, basic, normal food. We're not into odd combinations of stuff thrown together, or recipes with 20 ingredients. We can't afford to buy weird, gourmet ingredients. And none of us want to try parsnips.

 

AND...if you love throwing meat in the crockpot...I make TONS of

healthy soups, stews and bean dishes in the crockpot, no meat or added

oils needed. There is a great book by Robin Robertson for those

looking to get started.

 

Is that a good book? Because I bought a vegan crockpot book years ago, and gave it away as useless. I didn't feel those recipes were real meals.

 

Is this helpful in any way?

Yup. Marilyn

[Guest guest]

Marilyn, I too was going to recommend Rip's recipes since they are already "men-tested" with his fellow firemen. My first husband was a big meat and potatoes type guy. But he didn't mind me making vegan food at home. I simply switched tempeh that I ground in the food processor and used it in place of ground beef in recipes. That way I didn't change the recipes he was used to, only that one ingredient. If your husband likes meat loaf, here's a great link at Jennifer McCann's Magic Loaf Studio to make your own loaves. I've tried several and adjust the ingredients and seasonings to give me an American, Mexican, Italian, Middle Eastern taste, etc. The left overs make great sandwich fillings. Jennifer's blog has lots of kid friendly recipes that I think

your whole family will love. As far as cheese, I was never a big milk drinker but I did love cheese. I don't miss it now and it helps a lot that eliminating dairy has made the biggest positive change in my health. Best wishes, Marilyn. Keep us updated on how things are going. Martha"youhavehowmany" <youhavehowmanymcd12day ; ; mwlp Sent: Sat, March 13, 2010 8:57:37 AM Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

 

I have begged, pleaded, and cried. I have sent him articles, and underlined things in books. And yet my husband has steadfastly refused to change his diet. He kept wanting more and more and more "proof"--but I knew it would never be enough, and that he simply didn't want to change.

 

His health has been getting worse for years, and I have been angry and frustrated because I KNEW his issues were reversable through diet. This morning, I lost it. Big time. I told him how sick *I* was at watching him decline. I told him I knew he wouldn't be around to see his kids grow up (he's 63, and our youngest three are 3, 10, and 11). He's already outlived both his parents--they died at 48 and 61. He has issues that lead to a heart attack sometime in the next few years, if things don't change. I am TERRIFIED.

 

Anyway, long story short, I told him to give me six weeks. He asked me what we would eat. I told him that first thing was dairy was out--completely. But I didn't get any farther into things yet. I know I can get him to do vegetarian (leaving in eggs--which I get straight from an organic farmer, so they are excellent quality). He wants a good breakfast. He likes salad, but is picky about vegetables. He really likes some of Dr. McDougall's soup recipes, which I already make at least once a month. But I am TOTALLY panicking, now that I am committed to feeding the whole family this way!

 

I can't feed him "weird stuff". He's not crazy about ethnic dishes. I have six kids to feed also, and I'm homeschooling, so things have to be quick, easy, and child-friendly. What should I do? Where do I start? After all these years I'm finally getting to feed my family the way I want--and now I am PANICKING. Give me some man-pleasing, delicious meal ideas that a SAD-eating person would like, PLEASE!!! Any advice or help is really, really welcome! Marilyn

[Guest guest]

To add to what Bethany and others have already said so eloquently, you

might also consider buying this video and ask your husband (and kids!) to

watch it with you, and have a family discussion about it:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Eating-3rd-Mike-Anderson/dp/B001CRQ8K6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & \

s=dvd & qid=1268502687 & sr=8-1

 

In my own circle of friends and colleagues, this video has had by far the

greatest impact. It keeps me out of the position of explaining to or

" nagging " those I care about. I bought a case of these (price, which is

already low, drops if you buy in bulk; see

http://www.ravediet.com/products.php?cat=12), and have been lending them

for the past 2 years to people who ask me why I eat the way I do. I

always keep a copy in my purse, to lend to the next person who asks.

 

After seeing this, most people I know have started to make changes

IMMEDIATELY - they don't even wait til the next day. One friend watched

it while she was baking a bunch of chicken breasts for dinner, and she

ended up " donating " the chicken breasts to my dog!

 

HOpe this helps - I admire your gumption!

 

-MEC

[Guest guest]

I LOVE Fresh from the Vegetarian Slow Cooker by Robin Robertson. Almost all of the recipes are vegan and easy to make fat free. We've liked everything we've made from that cookbook. Today I have Sweet and Spicy Lentil Chili cooking while we're at work. I'm lucky, it was my husband's idea to try a vegan diet. I had been a vegetarian for 20 years and he only ate meat when we were out. He has type 2 diabetes and read Dr. Barnard's book and wanted to try it. We've been vegan for over a year and feel great. It was not as hard as we thought it would be, so just jump in and do it! Good luck!

 

Janella--- On Sat, 3/13/10, youhavehowmany <youhavehowmany wrote:

youhavehowmany <youhavehowmanyRe: Oh help!!!! Date: Saturday, March 13, 2010, 11:41 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I see what you wrote below"Hey--I'm scared too! I LIKE throwing a roast in the crockpot, or a chicken in the oven and knowing dinner's cooking. Sorry, but to be honest, I do! This means change for me, too!"what comes to mind for me is that if you don't make the change (with or without him), why should he trust that you know what you are talking about, no matter how much information you give him from "experts."

 

To be honest, with a family this size, I simply don't have the ROOM for all the various diets and their ingredients! With literally gallons of cow milk in the refrigerator, where do I put the soymilk? With leftover chickens and roasts in there, where do I put all the fresh veggies and fruits? I see your point, although I'm thinking of it from a more practical standpoint of space limitations. And if he's constantly asking "where's the beef", how can I cook vegan for the rest of us? It's nearly impossible. I make spagetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry, and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts, seeds, veggies (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in. He simply can't see a meatless meal! Yes, I have made meatless meals, but I know he's always waiting for the "real food". I seriously flinch when I make those meatless meals because I'm waiting for the inevitable

question, and it's ANNOYING. Being honest here. I MADE a "real meal"! EAT!

 

Why not start buying healthy food and stop buying the other stuff? You can cook healthy meals and they can be there for him should he choose to eat them. If he wants the other stuff, he can buy and prepare it himself, or eat out. This way, he can be exposed to the healthier stuff at his own pace, and you don't have to contribute to something you believe is hurting him and your children.

 

If he's doing it, the kids will too. And frankly I'm TIRED of seeing my kids (and him) eating things I know are harmful. I'm also tired of constantly being tempted in my own home! I like those same foods! I shouldn't have them. I know I shouldn't. But if they're there, it's not fair to me, and to my daughter who also shouldn't have them. Then I get resentful and angry. And that's not healthy either. He can't afford to eat out, and I'd feel really weird asking him to "make your own dinner". That's just not our way. And anyway, that would mean the stuff is still here, and maybe the kids would see that as "treat food" instead of BAD food, and I sure don't want that!If your children ask what is going on, tell them "I want to be healthy. I learned that if I stop eating cheese and butter and start eating foods that come from plants, I may not get sick when I'm older. So I'm learning how to make delicious foods that come from

plants. Would you like to help me?"

 

That would work, and that I will do. My kids aren't stupid. But they do need (I think) to see BOTH parents on board. I just wish he would go into this more willingly and enthusiastically! I can't believe he wouldn't want to see just how beneficial this could be. It's kind of puzzling to me how resistant he really is. Food is your fuel. Fuel determines how you function. These foods are what you are eating, so therefore they are what's causing your disease. So you STOP, and try new things, and see how you feel. SIMPLE. I guess I'm just stunned at the level of deliberate ignorance or willfiul resistance. I love him dearly, but I simply don't understand this brick wall!See the difference? It's using invitation, not force. If they don't want to participate, that's okay....just keep doing it yourself, and keep making it available to everyone else. Learn how to make recipes you think might appeal to them. Keep tons of fresh, ripe fruit

around and visible for easy snacking. If you don't want people to eat unhealthy food in the house, don't buy it.

 

To be honest, I DON'T buy a lot of unhealthy foods. We have just about nothing here with any "artificials" , corn syrup, etc. and haven't for years. We do snack a LOT on raw fruits and veggies. I even frequently make smoothies as dessert, or we eat just fruit for dessert, and no one thinks there's anything wrong with that. My husband has a lot of healthy habits in place. He likes whole grain cereals and breads, eats a lot of salad, and has fresh squeezed OJ and a plate of fresh berries every day for breakfast. It's mainly the dairy and meat, where the problems come in.And...it sounds like this may be a big transition for you, too...so, treat yourself as kindly as you would like to treat your family. Don't force yourself to eat something you don't like just because you think it's healthy.

 

LOL! I've run into a LOT of those recipes on websites and in books. BLECCH! I want plain, basic, normal food. We're not into odd combinations of stuff thrown together, or recipes with 20 ingredients. We can't afford to buy weird, gourmet ingredients. And none of us want to try parsnips.

 

AND...if you love throwing meat in the crockpot...I make TONS of healthy soups, stews and bean dishes in the crockpot, no meat or added oils needed. There is a great book by Robin Robertson for those looking to get started.

 

Is that a good book? Because I bought a vegan crockpot book years ago, and gave it away as useless. I didn't feel those recipes were real meals.Is this helpful in any way?

Yup. Marilyn

[Guest guest]

WOW, MEC! I appreciate that! I am going to order that DVD. I have a friend who just watched Food, Inc. and said something similar. I'm going to ask her if she owns that DVD, so I can borrow it. There is simply no excuse to remain ignorant of the facts. None. The information is out there, and it is plentiful. Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To add to what Bethany and others have already said so eloquently, you

might also consider buying this video and ask your husband (and kids!) to

watch it with you, and have a family discussion about it:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Eating-3rd-Mike-Anderson/dp/B001CRQ8K6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & s=dvd & qid=1268502687 & sr=8-1

 

In my own circle of friends and colleagues, this video has had by far the

greatest impact. It keeps me out of the position of explaining to or

"nagging" those I care about. I bought a case of these (price, which is

already low, drops if you buy in bulk; see

http://www.ravediet.com/products.php?cat=12), and have been lending them

for the past 2 years to people who ask me why I eat the way I do. I

always keep a copy in my purse, to lend to the next person who asks.

 

After seeing this, most people I know have started to make changes

IMMEDIATELY - they don't even wait til the next day. One friend watched

it while she was baking a bunch of chicken breasts for dinner, and she

ended up "donating" the chicken breasts to my dog!

 

HOpe this helps - I admire your gumption!

 

-MEC

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Martha! I need to avoid too many soy products, since my husband had thyroid cancer. But I have never used tempeh, and I've always wondered about using it. Once in a while won't hurt, and if it's a decent meat sub, I'll give it a try. Thanks for that link! Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marilyn, I too was going to recommend Rip's recipes since they are already "men-tested" with his fellow firemen. My first husband was a big meat and potatoes type guy. But he didn't mind me making vegan food at home. I simply switched tempeh that I ground in the food processor and used it in place of ground beef in recipes. That way I didn't change the recipes he was used to, only that one ingredient. If your husband likes meat loaf, here's a great link at Jennifer McCann's Magic Loaf Studio to make your own loaves. I've tried several and adjust the ingredients and seasonings to give me an American, Mexican, Italian, Middle Eastern taste, etc. The left overs make great sandwich fillings. Jennifer's blog has lots of kid friendly recipes that I think your whole family will love.

 

As far as cheese, I was never a big milk drinker but I did love cheese. I don't miss it now and it helps a lot that eliminating dairy has made the biggest positive change in my health.

 

Best wishes, Marilyn. Keep us updated on how things are going.

 

Martha

 

 

 

 

 

"youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com" <youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com>

mcd12day ; ; mwlp

Sat, March 13, 2010 8:57:37 AM

[fatfree_ vegan] Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

I have begged, pleaded, and cried. I have sent him articles, and underlined things in books. And yet my husband has steadfastly refused to change his diet. He kept wanting more and more and more "proof"--but I knew it would never be enough, and that he simply didn't want to change.

 

His health has been getting worse for years, and I have been angry and frustrated because I KNEW his issues were reversable through diet. This morning, I lost it. Big time. I told him how sick *I* was at watching him decline. I told him I knew he wouldn't be around to see his kids grow up (he's 63, and our youngest three are 3, 10, and 11). He's already outlived both his parents--they died at 48 and 61. He has issues that lead to a heart attack sometime in the next few years, if things don't change. I am TERRIFIED.

 

Anyway, long story short, I told him to give me six weeks. He asked me what we would eat. I told him that first thing was dairy was out--completely. But I didn't get any farther into things yet. I know I can get him to do vegetarian (leaving in eggs--which I get straight from an organic farmer, so they are excellent quality). He wants a good breakfast. He likes salad, but is picky about vegetables. He really likes some of Dr. McDougall's soup recipes, which I already make at least once a month. But I am TOTALLY panicking, now that I am committed to feeding the whole family this way!

 

I can't feed him "weird stuff". He's not crazy about ethnic dishes. I have six kids to feed also, and I'm homeschooling, so things have to be quick, easy, and child-friendly. What should I do? Where do I start? After all these years I'm finally getting to feed my family the way I want--and now I am PANICKING. Give me some man-pleasing, delicious meal ideas that a SAD-eating person would like, PLEASE!!! Any advice or help is really, really welcome! Marilyn

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Janella! Keeping my fingers crossed here for a successful six weeks! Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

janella harper <jmh6886

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 1:05 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I LOVE Fresh from the Vegetarian Slow Cooker by Robin Robertson. Almost all of the recipes are vegan and easy to make fat free. We've liked everything we've made from that cookbook. Today I have Sweet and Spicy Lentil Chili cooking while we're at work. I'm lucky, it was my husband's idea to try a vegan diet. I had been a vegetarian for 20 years and he only ate meat when we were out. He has type 2 diabetes and read Dr. Barnard's book and wanted to try it. We've been vegan for over a year and feel great. It was not as hard as we thought it would be, so just jump in and do it! Good luck!

 

Janella

 

--- On Sat, 3/13/10, youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com <youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com> wrote:

 

 

youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com <youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com>

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

Saturday, March 13, 2010, 11:41 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I see what you wrote below

 

"Hey--I'm scared too! I LIKE throwing a roast in the crockpot, or a

chicken in the oven and knowing dinner's cooking. Sorry, but to be

honest, I do! This means change for me, too!"

 

what comes to mind for me is that if you don't make the change (with

or without him), why should he trust that you know what you are

talking about, no matter how much information you give him from

"experts."

 

To be honest, with a family this size, I simply don't have the ROOM for all the various diets and their ingredients! With literally gallons of cow milk in the refrigerator, where do I put the soymilk? With leftover chickens and roasts in there, where do I put all the fresh veggies and fruits? I see your point, although I'm thinking of it from a more practical standpoint of space limitations. And if he's constantly asking "where's the beef", how can I cook vegan for the rest of us? It's nearly impossible. I make spagetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry, and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts, seeds, veggies (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in. He simply can't see a meatless meal! Yes, I have made meatless meals, but I know he's always waiting for the "real food". I seriously flinch when I make those meatless meals because I'm waiting for the inevitable question, and it's ANNOYING. Being honest here. I MADE a "real meal"! EAT!

 

Why not start buying healthy food and stop buying the other

stuff? You can cook healthy meals and they can be there for him should

he choose to eat them. If he wants the other stuff, he can buy and

prepare it himself, or eat out. This way, he can be exposed to the

healthier stuff at his own pace, and you don't have to contribute to

something you believe is hurting him and your children.

 

If he's doing it, the kids will too. And frankly I'm TIRED of seeing my kids (and him) eating things I know are harmful. I'm also tired of constantly being tempted in my own home! I like those same foods! I shouldn't have them. I know I shouldn't. But if they're there, it's not fair to me, and to my daughter who also shouldn't have them. Then I get resentful and angry. And that's not healthy either. He can't afford to eat out, and I'd feel really weird asking him to "make your own dinner". That's just not our way. And anyway, that would mean the stuff is still here, and maybe the kids would see that as "treat food" instead of BAD food, and I sure don't want that!

 

If your children ask what is going on, tell them "I want to be

healthy. I learned that if I stop eating cheese and butter and start

eating foods that come from plants, I may not get sick when I'm older.

So I'm learning how to make delicious foods that come from plants.

Would you like to help me?"

 

That would work, and that I will do. My kids aren't stupid. But they do need (I think) to see BOTH parents on board. I just wish he would go into this more willingly and enthusiastically! I can't believe he wouldn't want to see just how beneficial this could be. It's kind of puzzling to me how resistant he really is. Food is your fuel. Fuel determines how you function. These foods are what you are eating, so therefore they are what's causing your disease. So you STOP, and try new things, and see how you feel. SIMPLE. I guess I'm just stunned at the level of deliberate ignorance or willfiul resistance. I love him dearly, but I simply don't understand this brick wall!

 

See the difference? It's using invitation, not force. If they don't

want to participate, that's okay....just keep doing it yourself, and

keep making it available to everyone else. Learn how to make recipes

you think might appeal to them. Keep tons of fresh, ripe fruit around

and visible for easy snacking. If you don't want people to eat

unhealthy food in the house, don't buy it.

 

To be honest, I DON'T buy a lot of unhealthy foods. We have just about nothing here with any "artificials" , corn syrup, etc. and haven't for years. We do snack a LOT on raw fruits and veggies. I even frequently make smoothies as dessert, or we eat just fruit for dessert, and no one thinks there's anything wrong with that. My husband has a lot of healthy habits in place. He likes whole grain cereals and breads, eats a lot of salad, and has fresh squeezed OJ and a plate of fresh berries every day for breakfast. It's mainly the dairy and meat, where the problems come in.

 

And...it sounds like this may be a big transition for you, too...so,

treat yourself as kindly as you would like to treat your family. Don't

force yourself to eat something you don't like just because you think

it's healthy.

 

LOL! I've run into a LOT of those recipes on websites and in books. BLECCH! I want plain, basic, normal food. We're not into odd combinations of stuff thrown together, or recipes with 20 ingredients. We can't afford to buy weird, gourmet ingredients. And none of us want to try parsnips.

 

AND...if you love throwing meat in the crockpot...I make TONS of

healthy soups, stews and bean dishes in the crockpot, no meat or added

oils needed. There is a great book by Robin Robertson for those

looking to get started.

 

Is that a good book? Because I bought a vegan crockpot book years ago, and gave it away as useless. I didn't feel those recipes were real meals.

 

Is this helpful in any way?

Yup. Marilyn

[Guest guest]

>I make spaghetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry,

and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many

nuts, seeds, veggies (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to

add in.You DO have a hard case there, Marilyn, yet it's not impossible. I find that the tempeh I mentioned earlier and mashed eggplant really give spaghetti sauce more body. My husband would eat it and he was a tough case too. It sounds like maybe your husband has bought into the old myth that you've got to eat meat or you'll not get enough protein. There is so much information out there to debunk that myth. If that's his case, then I can direct you to some references. It may just be that he likes the taste and texture of meat. But even if that's so, even our tastes can change. Oh, tofu frozen at least overnight, longer is better, and then thawed gives a nice texture. It gives texture and body to stir fries. Worth a try. MarthaP.S. If your budget can afford it, donote the meat and milk to a food bank. That will give your fridge and freezer room for the other food.

[Guest guest]

Yes, Martha, he IS a hard case. Seriously. And he's such a gentle, loving, considerate man on a daily basis, with almost any other issue! He is a very caring husband and parent. Loves us dearly. But his food issues are MASSIVE.

 

I am actually agonizing over what to do with the meat and dairy I have here. Money IS an issue--a HUGE one. *sigh* Crud. I have no idea what I'm going to do yet. Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

Martha <mnatural22

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 1:14 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

 

>I make spaghetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry, and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts, seeds, veggies (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in.

 

You DO have a hard case there, Marilyn, yet it's not impossible. I find that the tempeh I mentioned earlier and mashed eggplant really give spaghetti sauce more body. My husband would eat it and he was a tough case too. It sounds like maybe your husband has bought into the old myth that you've got to eat meat or you'll not get enough protein. There is so much information out there to debunk that myth. If that's his case, then I can direct you to some references. It may just be that he likes the taste and texture of meat. But even if that's so, even our tastes can change. Oh, tofu frozen at least overnight, longer is better, and then thawed gives a nice texture. It gives texture and body to stir fries. Worth a try.

 

Martha

 

P.S. If your budget can afford it, donote the meat and milk to a food bank. That will give your fridge and freezer room for the other food.

[Guest guest]

>I need to avoid too many soy products, since my husband had thyroid cancer.Sorry, didn't know that, Marilyn. Bulgar will give you some texture like ground beef. Saw that your husband likes chili and doesn't miss the meat in it. There is hope! :-)Martha

[Guest guest]

On Sat, 13 Mar 2010, youhavehowmany wrote:

 

>

>

> Thank you, Martha! I need to avoid too many soy products, since my husband had

thyroid

> cancer.

 

IN that case, you might want to also get a second DVD by Mike Anderson,

the same producer as " Eating " : " Healing Cancer from Inside Out " :

 

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Cancer-Inside-Out-2nd/dp/B002UURCAO/ref=sr_1_fkmr0\

_2?ie=UTF8 & qid=1268506383 & sr=8-2-fkmr0

 

This is a phenomenal collection of interviews and case reports on the

effect of diet on various kinds of cancer. It has been broadcast on PBS,

and its sound track is often used as a fundraiser for Air America.

 

If you decide to order it, I will be very interested to hear your

husband's reaction!

 

-MEC

[Guest guest]

On Sat, 13 Mar 2010, Martha wrote:

 

> >I make spaghetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make

a stir fry,

> and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts,

seeds, veggies

> (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in.

 

Bocaburgers makes a ground beef analog called " Ground Crumbles " that works

great in pasta sauces and anywhere else that ground beef is called for::

 

http://www.bocaburger.com/products/crumbles.aspx?productBox=0

 

-MEC

[Guest guest]

Your husband sounds so much like my first husband, very loving and caring, yet stubborn as can be in the food arena. He died in a tragic car accident eight year ago tomorrow. I'd give anything to have him back, food issues and all. My daughters, now around thirty, and I still miss him and always will. Btw, he had kidney cancer five years before his accident. When he asked the doctors what caused it, they said they didn't know. It is well known among health oriented doctors that a high meat diet contributes to it. Even that case of cancer was not enough to change his diet but who could blame him when the doctors were telling him his diet didn't matter. It was an uphill battle for me, for sure. I was a vegetarian before we married and our first argument was over food! He'd promised to eat whatever I made. But

the first recipe that didn't appeal to him, he refused to eat it. Said I didn't make it FOR HIM. Of course, I said that I DID TOO. It took a pastor telling him that cooking was my creative outlet and also that I NEEDED to cook some vegetarian dishes to save on the food budget, that he agreed to eat what I made for him. I just hope and pray that you can make the changes for you and your family before it's too late. MarthaP.S. As for the meat and dairy. Do you know anyone who might buy it from you? Could even advertise that for health reasons, it needs to be sold. That way it wouldn't go to waste and you could replenish your shelves with on target foods. "youhavehowmany" <youhavehowmany Sent: Sat, March 13, 2010 1:18:51 PMRe: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

Yes, Martha, he IS a hard case. Seriously. And he's such a gentle, loving, considerate man on a daily basis, with almost any other issue! He is a very caring husband and parent. Loves us dearly. But his food issues are MASSIVE.

 

I am actually agonizing over what to do with the meat and dairy I have here. Money IS an issue--a HUGE one. *sigh* Crud. I have no idea what I'm going to do yet. Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

Martha <mnatural22 >

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 1:14 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

 

>I make spaghetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry, and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts, seeds, veggies (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in.

 

You DO have a hard case there, Marilyn, yet it's not impossible. I find that the tempeh I mentioned earlier and mashed eggplant really give spaghetti sauce more body. My husband would eat it and he was a tough case too. It sounds like maybe your husband has bought into the old myth that you've got to eat meat or you'll not get enough protein. There is so much information out there to debunk that myth. If that's his case, then I can direct you to some references. It may just be that he likes the taste and texture of meat. But even if that's so, even our tastes can change. Oh, tofu frozen at least overnight, longer is better, and then thawed gives a nice texture. It gives texture and body to stir fries. Worth a try.

 

Martha

 

P.S. If your budget can afford it, donote the meat and milk to a food bank. That will give your fridge and freezer room for the other food.

[Guest guest]

>Bocaburgers makes a ground beef analog called "Ground Crumbles" that works

great in pasta sauces and anywhere else that ground beef is called for::Yes, but these are made from isolated soy protein, aren't they? Not recommended now by any of the health promoting doctors. Too processed which makes them cancer causing. Martha

[Guest guest]

That's okay, Martha. It didn't come up, so I didn't mention it. But he's a 20+ year survivor. He's just fine now--at least as far as that goers anyway. Bulgur--great to know! Thanks! Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

Martha <mnatural22

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 1:48 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

 

>I need to avoid too many soy products, since my husband had thyroid cancer.

 

Sorry, didn't know that, Marilyn. Bulgar will give you some texture like ground beef. Saw that your husband likes chili and doesn't miss the meat in it. There is hope! :-)

 

Martha

[Guest guest]

I actually have Dr. Lorraine Day's video on cancer, but haven't watched it yet. I will put that other one on my wish list. Thanks! Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

Mary E. Cotter <mec

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 1:57 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

On Sat, 13 Mar 2010, youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com wrote:

 

>

>

> Thank you, Martha! I need to avoid too many soy products, since my husband had thyroid

> cancer.

 

IN that case, you might want to also get a second DVD by Mike Anderson,

the same producer as "Eating": "Healing Cancer from Inside Out":

 

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Cancer-Inside-Out-2nd/dp/B002UURCAO/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8 & qid=1268506383 & sr=8-2-fkmr0

 

This is a phenomenal collection of interviews and case reports on the

effect of diet on various kinds of cancer. It has been broadcast on PBS,

and its sound track is often used as a fundraiser for Air America.

 

If you decide to order it, I will be very interested to hear your

husband's reaction!

 

-MEC

[Guest guest]

I tried one years ago like this. It was very good, but he detected it instantly! There's no fooling that man! LOL! Maybe now that he KNOWS we're doing this, it will be a different story, and he will like it. I thought it was a good product. Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

Mary E. Cotter <mec

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 2:00 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

On Sat, 13 Mar 2010, Martha wrote:

 

> >I make spaghetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry,

> and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts, seeds, veggies

> (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in.

 

Bocaburgers makes a ground beef analog called "Ground Crumbles" that works

great in pasta sauces and anywhere else that ground beef is called for::

 

http://www.bocaburger.com/products/crumbles.aspx?productBox=0

 

-MEC

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your support, Martha! I'm so sorry about your husband, but happy to see you have a new man in your life. I wish you all the best! My dh was my second dh, too, and my first husband is also deceased. I was SO blessed to have found this wonderful man! I'd like to keep him with me as long as I can, and I'd like to be here for him, too.

 

Don't most mainstream doctors make you want to scream? UGH. The level of ignorance is unbelievable.

 

Yes, there is the aspect of saving money on a vegetarian diet. DH will LOVE that part! He's all about saving money! LOL!

 

Not sure if I will advertise the food for sale or just let them finish it up. Not much of dh's milk left, and the kids' milk goes really fast. Some cheese left, but dh and I don't eat it much. Some meat in the freezer--ugh. Just not sure yet. Have to give that some thought. Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

Martha <mnatural22

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 2:03 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

 

Your husband sounds so much like my first husband, very loving and caring, yet stubborn as can be in the food arena. He died in a tragic car accident eight year ago tomorrow. I'd give anything to have him back, food issues and all. My daughters, now around thirty, and I still miss him and always will. Btw, he had kidney cancer five years before his accident. When he asked the doctors what caused it, they said they didn't know. It is well known among health oriented doctors that a high meat diet contributes to it. Even that case of cancer was not enough to change his diet but who could blame him when the doctors were telling him his diet didn't matter. It was an uphill battle for me, for sure. I was a vegetarian before we married and our first argument was over food! He'd promised to eat whatever I made. But the first recipe that didn't appeal to him, he refused to eat it. Said I didn't make it FOR HIM. Of course, I said that I DID TOO. It took a pastor telling him that cooking was my creative outlet and also that I NEEDED to cook some vegetarian dishes to save on the food budget, that he agreed to eat what I made for him. I just hope and pray that you can make the changes for you and your family before it's too late.

 

Martha

 

 

P.S. As for the meat and dairy. Do you know anyone who might buy it from you? Could even advertise that for health reasons, it needs to be sold. That way it wouldn't go to waste and you could replenish your shelves with on target foods.

 

 

"youhavehow many (AT) aol (DOT) com" <youhavehowmany (AT) aol (DOT) com>

 

Sat, March 13, 2010 1:18:51 PM

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

Yes, Martha, he IS a hard case. Seriously. And he's such a gentle, loving, considerate man on a daily basis, with almost any other issue! He is a very caring husband and parent. Loves us dearly. But his food issues are MASSIVE.

 

I am actually agonizing over what to do with the meat and dairy I have here. Money IS an issue--a HUGE one. *sigh* Crud. I have no idea what I'm going to do yet. Marilyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

Martha <mnatural22 >

 

Sat, Mar 13, 2010 1:14 pm

Re: Oh help!!!!

 

 

 

 

>I make spaghetti, and he asks where the chopped meat is for the sauce. I make a stir fry, and he wants some cold cooked chicken to go on top--no matter how many nuts, seeds, veggies (cooked and raw) and beans I have on the side to add in.

 

You DO have a hard case there, Marilyn, yet it's not impossible. I find that the tempeh I mentioned earlier and mashed eggplant really give spaghetti sauce more body. My husband would eat it and he was a tough case too. It sounds like maybe your husband has bought into the old myth that you've got to eat meat or you'll not get enough protein. There is so much information out there to debunk that myth. If that's his case, then I can direct you to some references. It may just be that he likes the taste and texture of meat. But even if that's so, even our tastes can change. Oh, tofu frozen at least overnight, longer is better, and then thawed gives a nice texture. It gives texture and body to stir fries. Worth a try.

 

Martha

 

P.S. If your budget can afford it, donote the meat and milk to a food bank. That will give your fridge and freezer room for the other food.

[Guest guest]

To start get all that pre-made soy stuff; BBQ protein, soy hotdogs, soy

mozarella, seitan stuff and frozen Alexia brand fries, onion rings, potatos

(bake them). Use mustard for hotdogs. Then get the newest Pritiken and Ornish

books with cooking receipes. Canyon Ranch Cooks is a good cook book too. Then

it is up to you as to how much " cooking " you want to do. These books have weekly

plans. Then start reducing fats and calories to get to semi vege then vegan. A

good juicer, Breville is great, can help - who doesn't like fresh juiced orange

juice or even better carrot juice or even a freah green drink? I was a red meat,

fried foods, butter and cream dieter until 3 mnths ago - I did these things and

all my blood numbers are now in Pritiken range and have lost 15 lbs. Get off the

red meat and oils immediately. Use organic turkey and salmon, mussels/clams to

ease the transition. Then use all the receipes on fat free vegan.

 

, youhavehowmany wrote:

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> I have begged, pleaded, and cried. I have sent him articles, and underlined

things in books. And yet my husband has steadfastly refused to change his diet.

He kept wanting more and more and more " proof " --but I knew it would never be

enough, and that he simply didn't want to change.

>

> His health has been getting worse for years, and I have been angry and

frustrated because I KNEW his issues were reversable through diet. This morning,

I lost it. Big time. I told him how sick *I* was at watching him decline. I told

him I knew he wouldn't be around to see his kids grow up (he's 63, and our

youngest three are 3, 10, and 11). He's already outlived both his parents--they

died at 48 and 61. He has issues that lead to a heart attack sometime in the

next few years, if things don't change. I am TERRIFIED.

>

> Anyway, long story short, I told him to give me six weeks. He asked me what we

would eat. I told him that first thing was dairy was out--completely. But I

didn't get any farther into things yet. I know I can get him to do vegetarian

(leaving in eggs--which I get straight from an organic farmer, so they are

excellent quality). He wants a good breakfast. He likes salad, but is picky

about vegetables. He really likes some of Dr. McDougall's soup recipes, which I

already make at least once a month. But I am TOTALLY panicking, now that I am

committed to feeding the whole family this way!

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> I can't feed him " weird stuff " . He's not crazy about ethnic dishes. I have six

kids to feed also, and I'm homeschooling, so things have to be quick, easy, and

child-friendly. What should I do? Where do I start? After all these years I'm

finally getting to feed my family the way I want--and now I am PANICKING. Give

me some man-pleasing, delicious meal ideas that a SAD-eating person would like,

PLEASE!!! Any advice or help is really, really welcome! Marilyn

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