OT - Tips for elderly parents moving in or close by your family

September 17, 2006

Any tips you guys have for when a elderly parent needs to move in with your

family or in a seperate structure on your property? My mom is having a

hard go of it on her own, now that my dad has died and wants to move here.

My mom and I are extemely different and her ways produces stress for those

around here at times. She gets stressed easily, which is not any fun to be

around, besides the loss of privacy for our family. Have any of you faced

this and what has helped?

Thanks,

Judy

September 17, 2006

I had the opposite problem. My daughter's birthfather wouldn't consent to

adoption, so I ended up keeping her and living with my parents. Hard road.

Pretty much we just avoided each other whenever possible, and when we were

together it helped to just focus on things like movies or news, polite

conversation pretty much. Of course yours is the opposite problem, but if you

just make it clear what is and isn't acceptable and make sure she agrees to

those things, as well as you listening to what she wants in return, all should

be good.

Kadee Sedtal

wwjd <jtwigg wrote: Any tips

you guys have for when a elderly parent needs to move in with your

family or in a seperate structure on your property? My mom is having a

hard go of it on her own, now that my dad has died and wants to move here.

My mom and I are extemely different and her ways produces stress for those

around here at times. She gets stressed easily, which is not any fun to be

around, besides the loss of privacy for our family. Have any of you faced

this and what has helped?

Thanks,

Judy

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September 18, 2006

I'm sure that wasn't easy.

Judy

-

Kadee M

Monday, September 18, 2006 12:35 AM

Re: OT - Tips for elderly parents moving in or

close by your family

I had the opposite problem. My daughter's birthfather wouldn't consent to

adoption, so I ended up keeping her and living with my parents. Hard road.

Pretty much we just avoided each other whenever possible, and when we were

together it helped to just focus on things like movies or news, polite

conversation pretty much. Of course yours is the opposite problem, but if you

just make it clear what is and isn't acceptable and make sure she agrees to

those things, as well as you listening to what she wants in return, all should

be good.

Kadee Sedtal

wwjd <jtwigg wrote: Any tips you guys have for when a elderly

parent needs to move in with your

family or in a seperate structure on your property? My mom is having a

hard go of it on her own, now that my dad has died and wants to move here.

My mom and I are extemely different and her ways produces stress for those

around here at times. She gets stressed easily, which is not any fun to be

around, besides the loss of privacy for our family. Have any of you faced

this and what has helped?

Thanks,

Judy

Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+

countries) for 2¢/min or less.

September 18, 2006

Hmmm,am quite bothered now am close to that situation now,hope my kids and their

family wont get upset with me when i reach that situation.As of now am trying to

adopt myself to my four kids and their family,specially to their kids.Oftenly we

talk about life in the future,like being old,the behaviour,life styles and we

just end up laughing.I always demonstrate to them how i would talk,walk deal

with matters.Hope this helps ..... hehehe

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September 19, 2006

Well, fortunately my father is still alive and I don't have to worry

about her trying to move in with me just yet. However, if this was to

become an issue, I would recommend she live in an assisted living

facility. Either that or I would help her find a suitable place to

live close by. I love my mother but I could not stand living with her

full time because of her closed-minded beliefs. I can certainly relate

to what you're talking about Judy because my mother also gets

stressed-out fairly easy and her closed-mindedness does produce stress

on me as well as on my wife/partner Katherine. My mother is extremely

co-dependant which is something else that causes stress on us over

here. The best advice I can give you is to perhaps help your mother

find a place near you but not so close that your life is compromised a

whole lot. I have heard good things about assisted living facilities

also so that might be a good option. These places are not nursing

homes by the way. Some people are not always aware of the difference

between the 2 so that's why I'm letting you know. Each person who

lives in assisted living facilities have their own seperate apartment

and nurses just come make sure the occupants have everything they

need. I wish you the best of luck in resolving this problem:)

Noel

, " wwjd " <jtwigg wrote:

>

> Any tips you guys have for when a elderly parent needs to move in

with your

> family or in a seperate structure on your property? My mom is

having a

> hard go of it on her own, now that my dad has died and wants to move

here.

> My mom and I are extemely different and her ways produces stress for

those

> around here at times. She gets stressed easily, which is not any

fun to be

> around, besides the loss of privacy for our family. Have any of you

faced

> this and what has helped?

> Thanks,

> Judy

>

September 19, 2006

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I always glean much from others

decision making process when it comes to things that affects our families.

My mom is so thrifty, that I think the thought of spending the money on one of

those assisted living apartments, would give her a stroke... You know when

someone lives thru the depression, most have become life long penny pinchers..

My In-laws lived at a place like you are talking about and when my mil needed to

move over to the Nursing home that was on the same grounds, it was so

conventient for my fil to go visit her everyday. They enjoyed it. I don't know

of any that are close by to any of us 3 sisters. It would have to be or that

would be awful for her. She is still pretty independent, but feeling her age,

when it comes to mind tasks.

Thanks again,

Judy

-

Noel

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 9:35 AM