Food Combining Through the Day: A Few Tips

[Guest guest]

Caron, one additional thought. At his size and age, about 1/8 to 1/4

avocado, maybe once or twice a week, is enough, and more than that takes him

into what I would consider a high-fat diet. Must consider in the context of

total calories, and at his size, total calories consumed is not a large #.

 

Elchanan

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

Elchanan

Monday, June 25, 2007 12:13 AM

rawfood

RE: [Raw Food] Food Combining Through the Day: A Few Tips

 

 

Hi Caron, and you're welcome.

 

Here is something to consider: his innate responses (note that I'm not using

" instinct " ) is likely to be more accurate than his ... pay close attention

to the children who are young enough that they still have access to some of

their innate awareness ... most adults don't.

 

No avocado for breakfast ... high-fat foods only last meal of the day, I

suggest. This is because they spend much time in the stomach and generally

take much longer than fruits to digest and assimilate. So we don't want

anything behind them in the digestive tube. Ergo, if you eat them early,

then you need to wait quite a few hours before eating next ... especially

since you are not yet in the most excellent of health.

 

Size sounds fine, sorry, I must have misread something earlier.

 

Is the avocado the entire dinner? Does he eat any greens along the way?

 

Yes, melons generally digest faster than any other whole foods ... very

high water content, sweet fruits, very low acid content (except for some

cantaloupes and relatives).

 

Best, Elchanan

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

-

Elchanan

>Here is something to consider: his innate responses (note that I'm not

>using

" instinct " ) is likely to be more accurate than his ... pay close attention

to the children who are young enough that they still have access to some of

their innate awareness ... most adults don't.

 

yes - when he was first starting solids, he rejected all cooked food, and

favoured bananas in the morning, and avocado at night, but prefered

breastmilk overall. We broke that, and trained him to eat cooked foods, to

the detriment of his health. Now he keeps asking for eggs or veges (cooked).

 

>No avocado for breakfast ... high-fat foods only last meal of the day, I

suggest. This is because they spend much time in the stomach and generally

take much longer than fruits to digest and assimilate. So we don't want

anything behind them in the digestive tube. Ergo, if you eat them early,

then you need to wait quite a few hours before eating next ... especially

since you are not yet in the most excellent of health.

 

I usually save the avos for him, but yes, I'll make sure he only has them at

night now (mum needs some training, she keeps spouting very inaccurate

information, and hassling me to go to a dietician for advice. Do you happen

to have a piece of paper that says you're trained? Can I loan you some

crayons to make one?)

 

>Size sounds fine, sorry, I must have misread something earlier.

 

Ok, was just a bit worried my perception is off, hehe. He looks rather small

to me ;o)

 

>Is the avocado the entire dinner? Does he eat any greens along the way?

 

He nibbles on snow peas occasionally when they're in the garden, and will

pick at leaves (lettuce and such), but getting him to eat greens in any

quantity is going to take some persistance I think. I find them hard to eat

myself, but am trying to set a good example. I might need to go with green

smoothies I think. I can eat a whole cucumber in a sitting (is that a

fruit?), or half a head of crisp lettuce, but I find the softer leaves like

bok choy, cos lettuce, and similar, to be a bit much, and I get that " off "

taste after a few leaves - does that mean that's all I have to eat of them?

 

>Yes, melons generally digest faster than any other whole foods ... very

>high

water content, sweet fruits, very low acid content (except for some

cantaloupes and relatives).

 

where to rockmelon (I think this is what is usually called canteloupe in the

US), honeydew melon, and paw paw fit into this? Other than watermelon, I

don't really know of any others, if pawpaw is even a melon?

 

Still trying to sort out what are acid, sub acid and sweet fruits, too.

 

Thanks again for your help, Elchanan, it's always appreciated.

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

-

Elchanan

>Caron, one additional thought. At his size and age, about 1/8 to 1/4

avocado, maybe once or twice a week, is enough, and more than that takes him

into what I would consider a high-fat diet. Must consider in the context of

total calories, and at his size, total calories consumed is not a large #.

 

I did wonder about this - he's eating at least a dozen small bananas a day,

1-6 apples, sometimes the juice of an orange, and no idea how much

breastmilk. A check of nutridiary, based on 12 extra-small bananas, 1 small

apple, and juice of one orange, ignoring the breastmilk, says he's at 83%

carbs, 13% fat, 4% protein; total calories 1125. (It seems our avocados

aren't as big as california avocados) Is that protein intake too low? I know

he's getting enough from breastmilk at the moment, but when he eventually

stops, I need to know how to make sure he gets enough of everything.

 

Thanks,

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

Actually, my partner, Laurel, does have her undergraduate degree in

dietetics from the UC at Davis. And she has consciously chosen to forget all

that she learned there. My friend Dr. Tim Trader, has a PhD in Nutrition (UT

Austin), a naturopathy degree, and more stuff like that. He has consciously

chosen to forget all that he learned in naturopathy school.

 

I suppose you can see where I'm going with this ... :

 

Elchanan

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

Caron

Monday, June 25, 2007 12:52 AM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Food Combining Through the Day: A Few Tips

 

 

Do you happen

to have a piece of paper that says you're trained? Can I loan you some

crayons to make one?)

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Suggest an alternate path vs. green smoothies ... chewing is integral to our

design, integral to our process of eating, digesting, and assimilating. For

much more information about chewing, blending, and the like, please refer to

posts #17288 and 29086 in the group archive.

 

Perhaps try something like the banana wrap I described a few days back,

instead.

 

Best,

Elchanan

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

Caron

Monday, June 25, 2007 12:52 AM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Food Combining Through the Day: A Few Tips

 

 

He nibbles on snow peas occasionally when they're in the garden, and will

pick at leaves (lettuce and such), but getting him to eat greens in any

quantity is going to take some persistance I think. I find them hard to eat

myself, but am trying to set a good example. I might need to go with green

smoothies I think.

<http://geo./serv?s=97359714/grpId=5520395/grpspId=1705015482/msgId

=31869/stime=1182758500/nc1=3848445/nc2=4025321/nc3=4670553>

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

-

Elchanan

>Suggest an alternate path vs. green smoothies ... chewing is integral to

>our

design, integral to our process of eating, digesting, and assimilating. For

much more information about chewing, blending, and the like, please refer to

posts #17288 and 29086 in the group archive.

 

I have read those posts, or one of them at least, and found it very

interesting. I noticed, too, that if my boy takes one half of the orange

while I'm juicing the first half, and has a chew on it, or even just licks

it, then he's able to drink the juice. If he doesn't, he can't stomach more

than a mouthful, and hands it back to me. The juice has pulp in it.

 

>Perhaps try something like the banana wrap I described a few days back,

instead.

 

I will try it, and see how he goes. He did take a leaf the other day, and I

showed him how to chew it and swallow - he did the chewing, but gagged when

he tried to swallow. Same response we had to meat actually - the only way I

could get him to eat meat was to puree it and mix it with veges, and it

ended up putrefying in his bowel, so I kind of take the gagging thing to

mean he's not quite ready for it. I'll try him with another leaf, and see if

we get the same response. He occasionally eats sprouts too, if I have them

around.

 

Thanks again, for your suggestions )

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

-

Elchanan

>Actually, my partner, Laurel, does have her undergraduate degree in

dietetics from the UC at Davis. And she has consciously chosen to forget all

that she learned there. My friend Dr. Tim Trader, has a PhD in Nutrition (UT

Austin), a naturopathy degree, and more stuff like that. He has consciously

chosen to forget all that he learned in naturopathy school.

 

>I suppose you can see where I'm going with this ... :

 

Yes, Elchanan, I do see where you're going with it, and completely agree

with you, having both studied nutrition myself at uni (though without a

degree, anything I've learned means less than nothing, of course), and had a

personal encounter of the horrible kind with the dietitian at the hospital

when I was pregnant. None of that is enough to convince her that I'm doing

what's best for my son (or learning to at least), nor have his health

improvements in the last week alone been enough.

 

Within 24 hours of being raw, he'd got rid of the horrible stinkiness in his

bowel, was sleeping through the night, and didn't wet the bed once last

week. As soon as he ate something he shouldn't have, he started stinking

again, and when I ate cooked food over the weekend (by choice, to see the

effect it would have), he's been waking several times at night ever since,

demanding a feed at midnight again, and wet the bed yesterday morning - I've

had to be up till 1 or 2am each night to take him to the loo so he wouldn't

wet the bed after having his feed. The effects the cooked foods had on me

were even more fun.

 

So, that's enough to convince me that we both need to be raw, if I wasn't

before. It's amazed me that something that has driven me nuts for so long

(him waking up at night wanting a feed, or just plain feeding all night) was

simply due to diet, and nothing else.

 

Anyway, the dietitian argument came up after she saw " Dr Bob " (I think? No

last name anyway) on the shopping channel trying to sell his " Iso-Whey "

protein drink. He's basically selling a powder that's supposed to have all

these health benefits, but you're supposed to mix it with raw fruit. I told

her I'd rather get the benefits from the source, rather than something made

in a lab. It was all downhill from there, hehe.

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

Stop trying to convince here ... anyone. You cannot talk with someone who is

not listening.

 

Instead, simply say that this is your child, you are the parent, and this is

how the child is to be fed. No cooperation, no participation. Don't be

guilted into anything.

 

Best,

Elchanan

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

Caron

Monday, June 25, 2007 8:15 PM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Food Combining Through the Day: A Few Tips

 

 

None of that is enough to convince her that I'm doing

what's best for my son (or learning to at least), nor have his health

improvements in the last week alone been enough.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Elchanan is 100% right, truly. This burns me up too, honestly. When

one parent refuses to grow or educate themselves, and another child

learns cancer-causing and disease-causing dietary habits as a result.

Kids have no choice. It is a parent's duty to feed them healthy, inho.

[Guest guest]

-

Elchanan

>Instead, simply say that this is your child, you are the parent, and this

>is

how the child is to be fed. No cooperation, no participation. Don't be

guilted into anything.

 

And thus begins the whole messy cycle of family dynamics. I've been banging

my head against this brick wall for years ;o) Her arguments don't change my

mind, it would just make it easier without the resistance, you know? It's

also hard when the boy looks up to her, and listens to her when she says I

don't know what I'm talking about.

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

Yes, Caron, I understand. A quantum jump in personal growth is available to

us all, wherein we cross over from being primarily concerned with what

others think ... and continually feeling frustration, anger, and the like

.... to a place where we hold our own tone, regardless of others but still

with positive regard for others. I do not yet know how to express this more

fully in an email, otherwise I would gladly do so. Working directly with

people, I see much progress in a very short time.

 

You do not need her support any more than you need her resistance ... what

you need are her respect and acceptance. That is quite a different request

to make, if you can make the distinction clearly in your own mind.

 

If she -- or anyone -- undermines you in the presence of your son, end the

interaction immediately ... that is unacceptable in any " normal "

circumstances. The issue here is your own sense of self, your own inner

strength. See harmful behaviors for what they are ... if anyone else behaved

that way, would you tolerate it for even a moment? Then why tolerate it from

someone who likely exerts considerable influence.

 

You cannot appease your way into a workable solution. Every act of

appeasement you undertake only serves to create permission for her to do

more of the same.

 

I hope this makes sense.

 

Best,

Elchanan

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

Caron

Tuesday, June 26, 2007 10:05 PM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Food Combining Through the Day: A Few Tips

 

 

-

Elchanan

>Instead, simply say that this is your child, you are the parent, and this

>is

how the child is to be fed. No cooperation, no participation. Don't be

guilted into anything.

 

And thus begins the whole messy cycle of family dynamics. I've been banging

my head against this brick wall for years ;o) Her arguments don't change my

mind, it would just make it easier without the resistance, you know? It's

also hard when the boy looks up to her, and listens to her when she says I

don't know what I'm talking about.

 

Caron

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

-

Elchanan

>Yes, Caron, I understand. A quantum jump in personal growth is available to

us all, wherein we cross over from being primarily concerned with what

others think ... and continually feeling frustration, anger, and the like

.... to a place where we hold our own tone, regardless of others but still

with positive regard for others. I do not yet know how to express this more

fully in an email, otherwise I would gladly do so. Working directly with

people, I see much progress in a very short time.

 

>You do not need her support any more than you need her resistance ... what

you need are her respect and acceptance. That is quite a different request

to make, if you can make the distinction clearly in your own mind.

 

>If she -- or anyone -- undermines you in the presence of your son, end the

interaction immediately ... that is unacceptable in any " normal "

circumstances. The issue here is your own sense of self, your own inner

strength. See harmful behaviors for what they are ... if anyone else behaved

that way, would you tolerate it for even a moment? Then why tolerate it from

someone who likely exerts considerable influence.

 

Thanks, Elchanan,

 

It makes perfect sense, and is exactly what I've been trying to tell her for

the last nearly-3 years. I have left when she's shown disrespect, but I feel

like I'm punishing my boy by not letting him spend time with his

grandmother, who he's rather attached to. I also enjoy spending time with

the family, when they're not being berks. It's hard to explain these things

without being emotional, because it DOES hurt when she says, or implies,

that I don't know what I'm doing, or what I'm talking about, or that I'm not

worthy of respect. It's also frustrating having to deal with the fallout

when the boy starts to believe her, and doesn't listen to me, or respect the

rules and guidelines I've set in place for his safety and wellbeing. It's

very easy to be calm and zen when I'm sitting here typing an email (I can

delete the ranting, hehe), but how do you detach from someone you're

emotionally attached to, sufficiently to unemotionally explain to them that

they're being a PITB?

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

Caron-

 

I definitely feel for your situation with your mom- I

know how incredibly difficult that can be! My sister

in law has faced the wrath of my parents b/c they do

not get to babysit their grandchildren.....the reason

for it is very simple: when the oldest one was

starting on baby food, my sister in law had a bunch of

organic, homemade stuff for the baby. My parents

insisted on keeping her for an hour or two, so she let

them. While she was gone, they fed the baby little

bites of all sorts of sugary, not-good-for you mess-

ice cream, pudding, reg. baby food (not bad for you,

but my sis was feeding a strictly organic diet)......I

have attempted to prepare my parents for the same

thing from me, but I just don't think they get it.

 

I read a little quip somewhere else that may be useful

in this situation......and of course I don't remember

what it was. Something to the effect of " respect my

rules and guidelines or you don't get to participate "

 

kind of harsh, but.....well, perhaps necessary?

 

 

 

 

 

______________________________\

____

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[Guest guest]

-

Kerri Myers

>I definitely feel for your situation with your mom- I

know how incredibly difficult that can be! My sister

in law has faced the wrath of my parents b/c they do

not get to babysit their grandchildren...

 

Thanks, Kerri, I -know- I'm not the only one who cops it, hehe, it seems to

go with being a mum with parents or inlaws still around. I don't ask my

parents to babysit, this all happens while I'm there, and it's actually

pretty mild stuff compared with what most people go through. Just little

things like " oh, you'd better ask Mummy if you want cake " , knowing full well

that I have always and will always say no to cake, because he's allergic to

wheat, and reacts badly to processed sugar (which I found out when she let

him suck her anzac biscuit at 4 months of age *sigh*). I explain that it

will do yucky things to his body, and had him saying yuck to cakes and

things, but they're now trying to convince me that it's NOT yuck, and of

course he hears, and figures one of us isn't quite telling the truth.. Mum

used to let us have cake and things " as a treat " , which became fulltime when

we were teens and our younger brother was under 10 (I have an older

brother). I don't see diabeties, cholesterol problems and obesity, plus

chronic pain, as a treat, and that's the results of the " treats " I had as a

kid (plus the subsequent addiction to those " treats). I feel that by not

putting my boy in a situation where he'll become addicted, I'm not setting

him up for the same fall I had. Not that I blame my mum for my health

problems, she did what she thought was best, based on the knowledge she

had - the cakes were always single layer, a thin smear of icing, 2 eggs

only, etc, but still cakes. I think it will help a lot when I'm leading by

example, and we get rid of the rest of the junk in the house.

 

>I read a little quip somewhere else that may be useful

in this situation......and of course I don't remember

what it was. Something to the effect of " respect my

rules and guidelines or you don't get to participate "

 

Then I get accused of emotional blackmail. Nice in theory though ;o)

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

Caron,

 

I'm going through the same kind of stuff with my sisters. I'm sure a

lot of people who are serious about their raw diet go through this

kind of inner turmoil. Many of us are on a path that forces us to

confront the lies that have been fed to us since birth (milk is good

for you, food pyramid, vaccinations, germ theory, etc.). We are then

confronted with our own vulnerability and often times, isolation.

The very people who " you " may have grown to trust the most begin to

look at " you " with puzzled looks, and even indignation. And this

happens as " you " get healthier and they get weaker, fatter, older

faster. This doesn't have to be the rule. I think that Elchanan's

suggestions are excellent.

 

I love this part:

" You do not need her support any more than you need her resistance ...

what you need are her respect and acceptance. That is quite a

different request to make, if you can make the distinction clearly in

your own mind. "

 

Whirled Peas,

Janet

 

rawfood , " Caron " <carongroups wrote:

 

 

 

- Elchanan Yes, Caron, I understand.

A quantum jump in personal growth is available to us all, wherein we

cross over from being primarily concerned with what others think ...

and continually feeling frustration, anger, and the like ... to a

place where we hold our own tone, regardless of others but still with

positive regard for others. I do not yet know how to express this

more fully in an email, otherwise I would gladly do so. Working

directly with people, I see much progress in a very short time.

 

You do not need her support any more than you need her resistance ...

what you need are her respect and acceptance. That is quite a

different request to make, if you can make the distinction clearly in

your own mind.

 

If she -- or anyone -- undermines you in the presence of your son, end

the interaction immediately ... that is unacceptable in any " normal "

circumstances. The issue here is your own sense of self, your own

inner strength. See harmful behaviors for what they are ... if

anyone else behaved that way, would you tolerate it for even a moment?

Then why tolerate it from someone who likely exerts considerable

influence.

 

Thanks, Elchanan, It makes perfect sense, and is exactly what I've

been trying to tell her for the last nearly-3 years. I have left when

she's shown disrespect, but I feel like I'm punishing my boy by not

letting him spend time with his grandmother, who he's rather attached

to. I also enjoy spending time with the family, when they're not

being berks. It's hard to explain these things without being

emotional, because it DOES hurt when she says, or implies, that I

don't know what I'm doing, or what I'm talking about, or that I'm not

worthy of respect. It's also frustrating having to deal with the

fallout when the boy starts to believe her, and doesn't listen to me,

or respect the rules and guidelines I've set in place for his safety

and wellbeing. It's very easy to be calm and zen when I'm sitting

here typing an email (I can delete the ranting, hehe), but how do you

detach from someone you're emotionally attached to, sufficiently to

unemotionally explain to them that they're being a PITB?

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

-

Janet FitzGerald

>The very people who " you " may have grown to trust the most begin to

look at " you " with puzzled looks, and even indignation. And this

happens as " you " get healthier and they get weaker, fatter, older

faster.

 

This is true - mum, in particular, sees all my attempts to improve my son's

diet as digs at her, saying she wasn't a good mother (which is rubbish - we

haven't always agreed or seen eye to eye, but she did the best she could

with the knowledge she had). She's also jealous that I'm losing weight, even

though I'm still twice her size, and always have been - she was a typical

slender, legs to her armpits, 70's girl; I have " childbearing hips " and

" swimmer's shoulders " , and muscle in between, though it's fat at the moment,

but she's started to put on weight because of the way they're eating. I've

deliberately refrained from explaining my choices and reasons for going raw,

because I want this to work. I don't need to hear what I've heard all my

life, or this person's study or that person's view, or what this other one

is trying to sell. I need it to work for me, and when it IS working for me,

THEN I'll tell them " how I did it " . It's hard though, because I see mum so

sick, and I don't want my boy to lose his grandparents this early, nor do I

want to lose my parents, and I'm tired of seeing them so sick - my brothers

too. But they'd just see it as another fad, another " health kick " and ignore

it like they do the rest. When they see it working, I won't have to try to

convince them.

 

>I love this part:

" You do not need her support any more than you need her resistance ...

what you need are her respect and acceptance. That is quite a

different request to make, if you can make the distinction clearly in

your own mind. "

 

Yes, it's perfect, and exactly what I'm striving for ) It's getting that

respect and acceptance that's the key! And yes, I have asked for it (albeit

somewhat emotionally).

 

 

>Whirled Peas,

 

Mashed bananas?

 

Caron

-ecstatic because we got a whole case of bananas today!

[Guest guest]

Boy can I relate. My children are grown now, but trying to feed them

a healthy diet became impossible due to interference from

grandparents, and other loved ones.

 

Thanks to my FIL (whom I adore) my son quit eating broccali, which he

liked very much. As well as few other vegetables that were good for

him. My son was convinced that it tasted awlful and he shouldn't eat

it.

Anytime the kids came back from their house, it took me forever to

calm them down from all the sugar laden stuff they ate while over

there.

It was very much a battle. But the grandparents love their grandkids

so much. Both sets of grandparents grew up very poor, on farms

during the depression. Getting any kind of candy or soft drinks were

sooooo very rare. As were other sweet things. Soooooooo they felt

compelled to assault our kids with all they could stand. It gave

them more pleasure to give the junk to the kids than it did for the

kids to receive it.

My girls like to have NEVER convinced their grandmother to stop

putting sugar on the strawberries and blackberries that she gave

them. She could not imagine anybody, in particular a kid that would

rather eat the berries as is and without the added sugar.

Many years later and she still can't get over it.

But she has accepted it, though does not understand it.

 

Belinda

 

>

>

> -

> Kerri Myers

> >I definitely feel for your situation with your mom- I

> know how incredibly difficult that can be! My sister

> in law has faced the wrath of my parents b/c they do

> not get to babysit their grandchildren...

>

> Thanks, Kerri, I -know- I'm not the only one who cops it, hehe, it

seems to

> go with being a mum with parents or inlaws still around. I don't

ask my

> parents to babysit, this all happens while I'm there, and it's

actually

> pretty mild stuff compared with what most people go through. Just

little

> things like " oh, you'd better ask Mummy if you want cake " , knowing

full well

> that I have always and will always say no to cake, because he's

allergic to

> wheat, and reacts badly to processed sugar (which I found out when

she let

> him suck her anzac biscuit at 4 months of age *sigh*). I explain

that it

> will do yucky things to his body, and had him saying yuck to cakes

and

> things, but they're now trying to convince me that it's NOT yuck,

and of

> course he hears, and figures one of us isn't quite telling the

truth.. Mum

> used to let us have cake and things " as a treat " , which became

fulltime when

> we were teens and our younger brother was under 10 (I have an older

> brother). I don't see diabeties, cholesterol problems and obesity,

plus

> chronic pain, as a treat, and that's the results of the " treats " I

had as a

> kid (plus the subsequent addiction to those " treats). I feel that

by not

> putting my boy in a situation where he'll become addicted, I'm not

setting

> him up for the same fall I had. Not that I blame my mum for my

health

> problems, she did what she thought was best, based on the knowledge

she

> had - the cakes were always single layer, a thin smear of icing, 2

eggs

> only, etc, but still cakes. I think it will help a lot when I'm

leading by

> example, and we get rid of the rest of the junk in the house.

>

> >I read a little quip somewhere else that may be useful

> in this situation......and of course I don't remember

> what it was. Something to the effect of " respect my

> rules and guidelines or you don't get to participate "

>

> Then I get accused of emotional blackmail. Nice in theory though ;o)

>

> Caron

>

[Guest guest]

Caron,

 

Hooray for you!!!! You are parenting!

 

Janet - faced with similar difficulties

 

rawfood , " Caron " <carongroups wrote:

 

 

- Kerri Myers I definitely feel for

your situation with your mom- I know how incredibly difficult that can

be! My sister in law has faced the wrath of my parents b/c they do

not get to babysit their grandchildren...

 

Thanks, Kerri, I -know- I'm not the only one who cops it, hehe, it

seems to go with being a mum with parents or inlaws still around. I

don't ask my parents to babysit, this all happens while I'm there, and

it's actually pretty mild stuff compared with what most people go

through. Just little things like " oh, you'd better ask Mummy if you

want cake " , knowing full well that I have always and will always say

no to cake, because he's allergic to wheat, and reacts badly to

processed sugar (which I found out when she let him suck her anzac

biscuit at 4 months of age *sigh*). I explain that it will do yucky

things to his body, and had him saying yuck to cakes and things, but

they're now trying to convince me that it's NOT yuck, and of course he

hears, and figures one of us isn't quite telling the truth.. Mum used

to let us have cake and things " as a treat " , which became fulltime

when we were teens and our younger brother was under 10 (I have an

older brother). I don't see diabeties, cholesterol problems and

obesity, plus chronic pain, as a treat, and that's the results of the

" treats " I had as a kid (plus the subsequent addiction to those

" treats). I feel that by not putting my boy in a situation where

he'll become addicted, I'm not setting him up for the same fall I had.

Not that I blame my mum for my health problems, she did what she

thought was best, based on the knowledge she had - the cakes were

always single layer, a thin smear of icing, 2 eggs only, etc, but

still cakes. I think it will help a lot when I'm leading by example,

and we get rid of the rest of the junk in the house.

 

I read a little quip somewhere else that may be useful in this

situation......and of course I don't remember what it was. Something

to the effect of " respect my rules and guidelines or you don't get to

participate "

 

Then I get accused of emotional blackmail. Nice in theory though ;o)

 

Caron

[Guest guest]

Caron, Let's talk more about this once you get your Skype connection up and

running. I've talked others through similar circumstances. At first, things

seem " hard " , which merely means they are unfamiliar. But standing up

straight on one's own feels really good, really quickly ... once you begin.

 

Best,

Elchanan

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

Caron

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 5:43 PM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Food Combining Through the Day: A Few Tips

 

 

It makes perfect sense, and is exactly what I've been trying to tell her for

 

the last nearly-3 years. I have left when she's shown disrespect, but I feel

 

like I'm punishing my boy by not letting him spend time with his

grandmother, who he's rather attached to. I also enjoy spending time with

the family, when they're not being berks. It's hard to explain these things

without being emotional, because it DOES hurt when she says, or implies,

that I don't know what I'm doing, or what I'm talking about, or that I'm not

 

worthy of respect. It's also frustrating having to deal with the fallout

when the boy starts to believe her, and doesn't listen to me, or respect the

 

rules and guidelines I've set in place for his safety and wellbeing. It's

very easy to be calm and zen when I'm sitting here typing an email (I can

delete the ranting, hehe), but how do you detach from someone you're

emotionally attached to, sufficiently to unemotionally explain to them that

they're being a PITB?

 

Caron