Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. My raw food Brothers & Sisters, It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said to myself). I thought I was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so sick. yuk!! Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. Depressed and embarrassed, Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 jeannie,, you probably just ate 'cause you were hungry and it smelled good...no need to beat yourself up over it...you made the decision to eat it, respect your right to choose. i had to take a sick day today because of my cooked food hangover from a couple of days of crap which started with my daughters birthday party last monday.... i woke up the last 2 days with a belly ache from hell...but this morning, it was the arthritis acting up.....the same arthritis that freakin' DISAPPEARS when i eat raw! i was so stiff i couldnt even see myself getting up much less going to work for 13hrs, so i called in sick to try to get a grip.... im in that pathetic ridiculous pms stage that really does make me choose badly... i can get back on track but it takes these symptoms to remind me why i eat raw in the first place...its like being bi-polar....when youre on meds you feel so good you dont think you need the meds, so you dont take 'em....then the symptoms come back and youre back at the kookiness..... when i eat raw i feel so good i forget why i have to eat raw..then i get to thinking i can eat a little bit of cooked food...so i do...then i get sick again...and i remember.... really silly cycle really, but ive managed to contain it to a total of 3-5 days a month... this is really miraculous for me, so im ok with it....youve gone nearly 3 months!! thats really great!!...im only at 6 weeks with 2 breakdowns lasting a few days each.. i cant wait to pull off a whole 3 months!! just forget it, and get back on track... pretend like it never happened...do not obsess over it or youll think of more food!! youll be fine.... anna On 6/28/07, jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: > > your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no > one. > > > > > My raw food Brothers & Sisters, > > It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " > today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened > to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from > my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward > to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch > was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, > today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I > stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I > saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I > pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually > had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried > chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for > the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said > to myself). I thought I > was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it > comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home > I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate > myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate > being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only > to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire > for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so > angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today > because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have > for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that > played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so > sick. yuk!! > > Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for > what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. > > Depressed and embarrassed, > > > Jeannie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 - jeannieh h > I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home I felt so > sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate myself for > having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate being so > weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only to ruin > my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire for sad. > I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so angry at > myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today because I got > on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have for the > length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that played a > part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so sick. > yuk!! *hugs* Jeannie, you've done well to get this far. Stop beating yourself up, let go of the guilt, and focus for a moment on how your body feels with chicken inside it. Emotional beatings won't get you over your addictions. Let your mind figure out how your body feels, and take steps to avoid feeling like that in future. I ate " sad " on the weekend, by choice, to find out how it would make me feel. Very quickly, I " had " to have more - I ate it for 3 days in a row, and felt worse (physically) every day. I also saw how it was affecting my boy. Yesterday, I had to make a conscious decision to let my body feel better, and more importantly (for me) to let my boy feel better. I'm finding it a struggle this time round, because the foods I chose to eat are more addictive than plain old boiled veges with no additives, but I want my body to feel better, so I'm going to do it. As for the weightloss, you may find that as you cut back on salt (are you still doing the 60 day experiment?) you'll eliminate that, which should drop your weight a bit. You may find you have more energy too, and want to go for a walk, or dance around the loungeroom to the ad jingles while you're watching tv with hubby ;o) So, give yourself a hug, or ask hubby to, think about how your body feels, and decide to make tomorrow a new day. And have a salad for dinner ;o) Caron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 Anna, I think pms does have alot to do with it for me also, among the other things I mentioned. Pms also causes me to be a tad bit more emotional than I am normally. The thing that depresses me about it so is the fact that I feel so weak and that I allow food to control me instead of me controlling the food. I managed to make it all day, even with a co-worker's food smelling up the entire office while it heated up in the micro. I still just had my banana and my drink. But between that, the scale, and the smell of the fried chicken........I just caved. I do feel physically sick for having eaten it, I have heartburn and I feel like I have a brick in my stomach. I appreciate your words. Thanks, Jeannie your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. Anna Bishop <mowthpeece rawfood Thursday, June 28, 2007 6:55:28 PM Re: [Raw Food] I fell off the wagon (WAS: Garlic Redux) jeannie,, you probably just ate 'cause you were hungry and it smelled good...no need to beat yourself up over it...you made the decision to eat it, respect your right to choose. i had to take a sick day today because of my cooked food hangover from a couple of days of crap which started with my daughters birthday party last monday.... i woke up the last 2 days with a belly ache from hell...but this morning, it was the arthritis acting up.....the same arthritis that freakin' DISAPPEARS when i eat raw! i was so stiff i couldnt even see myself getting up much less going to work for 13hrs, so i called in sick to try to get a grip.... im in that pathetic ridiculous pms stage that really does make me choose badly... i can get back on track but it takes these symptoms to remind me why i eat raw in the first place...its like being bi-polar....when youre on meds you feel so good you dont think you need the meds, so you dont take 'em....then the symptoms come back and youre back at the kookiness..... when i eat raw i feel so good i forget why i have to eat raw..then i get to thinking i can eat a little bit of cooked food...so i do...then i get sick again...and i remember.... really silly cycle really, but ive managed to contain it to a total of 3-5 days a month... this is really miraculous for me, so im ok with it....youve gone nearly 3 months!! thats really great!!...im only at 6 weeks with 2 breakdowns lasting a few days each.. i cant wait to pull off a whole 3 months!! just forget it, and get back on track... pretend like it never happened...do not obsess over it or youll think of more food!! youll be fine.... anna On 6/28/07, jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: > > your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no > one. > > > > > My raw food Brothers & Sisters, > > It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " > today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened > to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from > my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward > to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch > was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, > today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I > stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I > saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I > pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually > had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried > chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for > the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said > to myself). I thought I > was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it > comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home > I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate > myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate > being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only > to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire > for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so > angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today > because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have > for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that > played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so > sick. yuk!! > > Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for > what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. > > Depressed and embarrassed, > > > Jeannie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 Caron, Yes, I am still doing the salt experiment, well, except for what ever salt was in the chicken. lol The sad thing is that I ate it like I had never eaten before. I inhaled it...lol But I am paying the price for it dearly in the way I feel so miserable, physically. Indigestion, heartburn BIG TIME. If I don't beat myself up, my body sure is doing it for me. LOL You wrote: " I'm finding it a struggle this time round, because the foods I chose to eat are more addictive than plain old boiled veges with no additives, but I want my body to feel better, so I'm going to do it. " I can so relate to that!! There is no question that I have felt better than ever eating raw....the problems I am having with it are A. I'm not loosing weight as much as I should be. B. I feel what I am eating is BORING. C. I miss my spices. D. I have no energy. (I'm so tired all the time) I also appreciate your words of encouragement. I feel really blessed to be a part of this group. We are all here for each other and that means alot to me. Jeannie your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. Caron <carongroups rawfood Thursday, June 28, 2007 7:01:35 PM Re: [Raw Food] I fell off the wagon (WAS: Garlic Redux) - jeannieh h > I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home I felt so > sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate myself for > having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate being so > weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only to ruin > my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire for sad. > I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so angry at > myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today because I got > on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have for the > length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that played a > part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so sick. > yuk!! *hugs* Jeannie, you've done well to get this far. Stop beating yourself up, let go of the guilt, and focus for a moment on how your body feels with chicken inside it. Emotional beatings won't get you over your addictions. Let your mind figure out how your body feels, and take steps to avoid feeling like that in future. I ate " sad " on the weekend, by choice, to find out how it would make me feel. Very quickly, I " had " to have more - I ate it for 3 days in a row, and felt worse (physically) every day. I also saw how it was affecting my boy. Yesterday, I had to make a conscious decision to let my body feel better, and more importantly (for me) to let my boy feel better. I'm finding it a struggle this time round, because the foods I chose to eat are more addictive than plain old boiled veges with no additives, but I want my body to feel better, so I'm going to do it. As for the weightloss, you may find that as you cut back on salt (are you still doing the 60 day experiment?) you'll eliminate that, which should drop your weight a bit. You may find you have more energy too, and want to go for a walk, or dance around the loungeroom to the ad jingles while you're watching tv with hubby ;o) So, give yourself a hug, or ask hubby to, think about how your body feels, and decide to make tomorrow a new day. And have a salad for dinner ;o) Caron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 it could always be worse.... you could still be eating chicken, you could have followed up with dessert, you could have vomitted it up and started over again, you could have done a million other things to make it 100 times worse, but you didnt. look at the good of it, dont obsess on the bad...its over..the virgin was thrown into the volcano, now the volcano god ill be satisfied for a while....enjoy the peace of it.... some people eat fried chicken or its equivalent every single day, every single meal, and you DONT.....you are sssooooo way ahead of most people it isnt even funny!! i WISH i only had chicken every 3 months to worry about! anna On 6/28/07, jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: > > Anna, > > I think pms does have alot to do with it for me also, among the other > things I mentioned. Pms also causes me to be a tad bit more emotional than > I am normally. > > The thing that depresses me about it so is the fact that I feel so weak > and that I allow food to control me instead of me controlling the food. I > managed to make it all day, even with a co-worker's food smelling up the > entire office while it heated up in the micro. I still just had my banana > and my drink. But between that, the scale, and the smell of the fried > chicken........I just caved. I do feel physically sick for having eaten it, > I have heartburn and I feel like I have a brick in my stomach. > > I appreciate your words. > > Thanks, > > > Jeannie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 Oh don't beat yourself up. Since the chicken made you feel sick, maybe you will not crave it anymore. Just keep pressing on, you are doing good. Almost 3 months raw when you crave SAD, is an amazing act of will power. You are an inspiration, I think. It's easy to eat raw when that is all you want. Belinda > My raw food Brothers & Sisters, > > It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said to myself). I thought I > was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so sick. yuk!! > > Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. > > Depressed and embarrassed, > > > Jeannie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 Jeannie, don't be sad you're here with us! You've been eating healthy fruits & veggies for almost 3 months so a peice of fried chicken is nothing to fret about what is it? Jessica tandy tells Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes " - -honey one little candy bar aint gonna kill ya " And you stopped-its not like you went on an eating frenzy. I do find it interesting that the smell was appealing to you though-probably the spices Since I have been eating more raw- chicken,cheese and some of the heavily perfumes shoppers in the grocery store almost make me puke. As for chicken-go over to the meat ailse in the store and take a good whiff-that might give you second thoughts but anyhow glad you're here I was wondering about you-you got quiet! Em--- In rawfood , jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: > > your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. > > > > > My raw food Brothers & Sisters, > > It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch was my usual banana and lara bar. While Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 -oh yeah! thanks for posting this Anna, I just kep noddding yep-yep yep I get into aself destructo phase pms wise and my little boy just had a bday-turned 10 oh I brought my salad etc to the bbq we had but I eneded up with half a chicken hot dog(sure they're from Whole foods)- and potato chips Next morning my left hand was stiff and I was soo bloated blah happy birthday to your DD Em -- In rawfood , " Anna Bishop " <mowthpeece wrote: > > jeannie,, > > you probably just ate 'cause you were hungry and it smelled good...no need > to > beat yourself up over it...you made the decision to eat it, respect your > right to choose. > > i had to take a sick day today because of my cooked food hangover from a > couple of > days of crap which started with my daughters birthday party last monday.... > > i woke up the last 2 days with a belly ache from hell...but this morning, it > was the > arthritis acting up.....the same arthritis that freakin' DISAPPEARS when i > eat raw! > > i was so stiff i couldnt even see myself getting up much less going to work > for 13hrs, > so i called in sick to try to get a grip.... > > im in that pathetic ridiculous pms stage that really does make me choose > badly... > i can get back on track but it takes these symptoms to remind me why i eat > raw > in the first place...its like being bi-polar....when youre on meds you feel > so good you > dont think you need the meds, so you dont take 'em....then the symptoms come > back and youre back at the kookiness..... > > when i eat raw i feel so good i forget why i have to eat raw..then i get to > thinking > i can eat a little bit of cooked food...so i do...then i get sick > again...and i remember.... > really silly cycle really, but ive managed to contain it to a total of 3-5 > days a month... > > this is really miraculous for me, so im ok with it....youve gone nearly 3 > months!! > thats really great!!...im only at 6 weeks with 2 breakdowns lasting a few > days each.. > > i cant wait to pull off a whole 3 months!! just forget it, and get back on > track... > pretend like it never happened...do not obsess over it or youll think of > more food!! > > youll be fine.... > > anna > > > On 6/28/07, jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: > > > > your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no > > one. > > > > > > > > > > My raw food Brothers & Sisters, > > > > It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " > > today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened > > to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from > > my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward > > to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch > > was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, > > today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I > > stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I > > saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I > > pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually > > had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried > > chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for > > the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said > > to myself). I thought I > > was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it > > comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home > > I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate > > myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate > > being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only > > to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire > > for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so > > angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today > > because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have > > for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that > > played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so > > sick. yuk!! > > > > Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for > > what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. > > > > Depressed and embarrassed, > > > > > > Jeannie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 On Friday 29 June 2007 12:11, emusedmary wrote: > heavily perfumes shoppers in the > grocery store LOL, my pet hate. Standing in a line with my respiratory system being assaulted by unkown chemical stimulants. I haven't said anything to anyone *yet*, but it is not out of the question!LOL since turning to a more raw diet, drinking my urine and turning to nature, I find that chemical smells are far more offensive than just natural body smells. Chalimar? pooh! give me the smell of cow-parsley any day. neal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 LOL :-D /\/\ > > Chalimar? pooh! > > give me the smell of cow-parsley any day. > > neal. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 Jeannie, Do try not to feel embarrassed or depressed in the slightest. If you are like me and several other folks out there, you've been eating SAD most of your life. Look at what you've accomplished in the last few months, if not longer, from the changes you have made. Think about where you were a year ago and where you are now. Try hard not to feel guilty about your meal, but observe how you feel. Really observe. This is how you will send messages to your subconscious. Right now, your subconscious remembers all the good memories of eating fried chicken (perhaps family picnics, functions, out with friends, etc. ...just guessing), and it has just gotten its first(?) negative message. By observing and feeling the effects of eating the chicken, or other cooked foods, you are aligning your conscious with your subconscious. I happen to be reading " Fast Food Nation " right now. If you haven't seen the movie or the book, now might be a great time to check either/both out. It may help you greatly with reprogramming your subconscious and attaining your goals. Be aware that there are some disturbing images in the movie (plenty of time to hide eyes). Btw, your daily intake of raw strikes me as monotonous, and your caloric intake seems low, too. I suggest trying more variety in your fruits and eating more. Janet rawfood , jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. My raw food Brothers & Sisters, It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said to myself). I thought I was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so sick. yuk!! Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. Depressed and embarrassed, Jeannie Groups Links ______________________________\ ____ Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 Belinda, What a compassionate person you are! That's why I love this group. Oh, I did feel so sick. I wished (at that moment) that I could have been a bulimic. The fact is, I don't want to make myself throw up. I would have yesterday, if I really had wanted to but although I have always been good at binging, purging was never something I was comfortable doing. I did try it a few times many years ago,but it just wasn't for me. Since I couldn't throw up, I ended up with all the weight gain from all the binging. The good news is that today I am back on raw and REALLY appreciating it. I don't want to have that awful feeling again. You are right, I felt so badly about it yesterday physically that I just don't see myself eating it again. That's not to say that I might not be tempted again by sad, BUT for today I am happy to get back on the wagon and continue on my wonderful journey of raw. Jeannie your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. Belinda <MistyBlueTN rawfood Friday, June 29, 2007 4:57:12 AM [Raw Food] Re: I fell off the wagon (WAS: Garlic Redux) Oh don't beat yourself up. Since the chicken made you feel sick, maybe you will not crave it anymore. Just keep pressing on, you are doing good. Almost 3 months raw when you crave SAD, is an amazing act of will power. You are an inspiration, I think. It's easy to eat raw when that is all you want. Belinda > My raw food Brothers & Sisters, > > It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said to myself). I thought I > was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so sick. yuk!! > > Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. > > Depressed and embarrassed, > > > Jeannie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 Em, Thanks, I appreciate you. I am curious about that also, I don't know why I am still so craving sad foods. I also thought that I would have lost my cravings/desires for sad. I have heard so many people say, just as you are saying, that they have lost the taste for sad food. I not only haven't lost it, I still crave it but I fight it on a daily, minute by minute basis. I guess I am a real heavy duty sad addict and have a lot further to go before I am able to shake the cravings. I think it is a reason why I beat myself up so badly about caving...I do hear so many people sing praise about how they can't stand sad anymore, even the sight of it makes them sick...I wonder wth is wrong with me??? I find myself wondering why I am so controlled by food all the time. I just want to be able to shake it and finally come out on the other side. It is a very painful topic for me. Thanks for being there Em. Jeannie your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. emusedmary <emusedmary rawfood Friday, June 29, 2007 7:11:33 AM Re: [Raw Food] I fell off the wagon (WAS: Garlic Redux) Jeannie, don't be sad you're here with us! You've been eating healthy fruits & veggies for almost 3 months so a peice of fried chicken is nothing to fret about what is it? Jessica tandy tells Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes " - -honey one little candy bar aint gonna kill ya " And you stopped-its not like you went on an eating frenzy. I do find it interesting that the smell was appealing to you though-probably the spices Since I have been eating more raw- chicken,cheese and some of the heavily perfumes shoppers in the grocery store almost make me puke. As for chicken-go over to the meat ailse in the store and take a good whiff-that might give you second thoughts but anyhow glad you're here I was wondering about you-you got quiet! Em--- In rawfood , jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: > > your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. > > > > > My raw food Brothers & Sisters, > > It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch was my usual banana and lara bar. While Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2007 Report Share Posted June 29, 2007 If you think about all the spiritual and neural connects that a person builds up over their lifetime, forming various " attachments " to things, it involves every aspect of the reality that created it, which is Infinity, but in a person's perspective, everything that they think and feel and see and experience goes into the creation of a person's way of being, which includes desire or lack thereof. Food is an extremely high emotional energy phenomena, that being which we derive life from, naturally we will have strong feelings about it. If we were machines, we could enter in a few lines of code and delete all the unwanted structures that have built up that make us who we are, including our desires. It takes time, repeated behavior, new experiences to unwind and clear our previous experiences and attachments. Three months is a great long while to stay on a raw food diet, but it is in most people's cases not enough to undo decades of previous experience. The fact you experience being " controlled by food all the time " is one of the first steps in gaining mastery over that experience. Most people don't realize fully or have a whole, multi sensory, mindful experience of their thoughts and behaviors being controlled by anything for their being fully indoctrinated into the illusion of self-control. Seeing the illusion is the first step to dispelling it. However, these things do take time. But, what a great reward to arrive at a place where there is a more clear perception about what is really so, and having the mastery that comes from that growth. Everything seems like it's going according to plan, but one must have patience with oneself and others for that plan to unfold. Just as a flower starts as a sprout and grows into a relatively uninteresting structure of green foliage, there comes the time, with proper soil, air, rain and sunshine, it does bloom in its full glory that abounds for all to experience in the joy that it spreads with its existence for all those around. And, as other's have said, this is a wonderful learning opportunity. However, growth can be quite uncomfortable at times. You've made it so far, this far, so please take heart! Namaste, Bobby jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: Em, Thanks, I appreciate you. I am curious about that also, I don't know why I am still so craving sad foods. I also thought that I would have lost my cravings/desires for sad. I have heard so many people say, just as you are saying, that they have lost the taste for sad food. I not only haven't lost it, I still crave it but I fight it on a daily, minute by minute basis. I guess I am a real heavy duty sad addict and have a lot further to go before I am able to shake the cravings. I think it is a reason why I beat myself up so badly about caving...I do hear so many people sing praise about how they can't stand sad anymore, even the sight of it makes them sick...I wonder wth is wrong with me??? I find myself wondering why I am so controlled by food all the time. I just want to be able to shake it and finally come out on the other side. It is a very painful topic for me. Thanks for being there Em. Jeannie _,_._,___ Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2007 Report Share Posted June 30, 2007 Jeannie- Don't be too upset! All of us fall off of the wagon every once in a while- shoot...I had a total of 9 days completely raw and then....kaboom! down I fell! Take pride in how long you were raw, and don't let this discourage you! You are doing an amazing job- and remember, you have to take it one day at a time! (well, for me, it's one meal at a time, but....same concept!) You're doing great! ~k ______________________________\ ____ Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online. http://smallbusiness./webhosting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2007 Report Share Posted June 30, 2007 Jeannie- I wonder if you are tired all of the time because you are not getting enough calories? From what you described as your typical breakfast and lunch, it seemed low to me. It may also help with the weight loss- in the past I consumed too few calories and that stalled my weight loss- adding some back in picked it right back up! Seems counter-intuitive, but really ,it's not! ~k ______________________________\ ____ Luggage? GPS? Comic books? Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search http://search./search?fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2007 Report Share Posted June 30, 2007 Janet, I appreciate your imput greatly. I would like to find the fast food nation, I actually looked for it at Blockbuster but didn't find it. I should have asked but I didn't. If the disturbing parts involves hurting animals, I might not want to watch it. I can't stand seeing anything that involves cruelty to animals. Otherwise, I'd love to see it. Anything that will take away my desire for sad. I'm that desperate to loose the hold it has on me. I realize my daily intake is super boring. I just don't know wha tto do to make it more exciting. I don't own a dehydrator and I can't afford one for awhile. If my caloric intake is too low, why am I not loosing more weight?? I do feel very tired every day, more than I've ever felt. Any suggestions on how I could correct this? I appreciate your feedback. Thank, Jeannie your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. Janet FitzGerald <waxplanet rawfood Friday, June 29, 2007 3:16:31 PM [Raw Food] Re: I fell off the wagon (WAS: Garlic Redux) Jeannie, Do try not to feel embarrassed or depressed in the slightest. If you are like me and several other folks out there, you've been eating SAD most of your life. Look at what you've accomplished in the last few months, if not longer, from the changes you have made. Think about where you were a year ago and where you are now. Try hard not to feel guilty about your meal, but observe how you feel. Really observe. This is how you will send messages to your subconscious. Right now, your subconscious remembers all the good memories of eating fried chicken (perhaps family picnics, functions, out with friends, etc. ...just guessing), and it has just gotten its first(?) negative message. By observing and feeling the effects of eating the chicken, or other cooked foods, you are aligning your conscious with your subconscious. I happen to be reading " Fast Food Nation " right now. If you haven't seen the movie or the book, now might be a great time to check either/both out. It may help you greatly with reprogramming your subconscious and attaining your goals. Be aware that there are some disturbing images in the movie (plenty of time to hide eyes). Btw, your daily intake of raw strikes me as monotonous, and your caloric intake seems low, too. I suggest trying more variety in your fruits and eating more. Janet rawfood , jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. My raw food Brothers & Sisters, It is with much sadness I have to admit that I " fell off the wagon " today I need some help from you good folks today. Here is what happened to me today. I was doing just fine on 100% raw. Just a few days away from my 3rd month. My 3 month was to be on July 4th. I was really looking forward to it so much. I had my usual breakfast of a green drink and bananna. Lunch was my usual banana and lara bar. While usually for dinner I have a salad, today I had to stop for gas and INSTEAD to stopping at my usual place I stopped at another gas station. I was trying to be cheap and save money so I saw a station had gas for $2.69. I turned in there really fast. Usually I pay at the pump so I'm in and out. Today I had to go in because I actually had cash on me. I went in and there was this smell of freshly fried chicken! It hit me and I just found myself over at the counter asking for the special (8 piece for $2.99). I couldn't pass up such a deal (so I said to myself). I thought I was going to eat all of them. LOL (that is how insane my mind is when it comes to food) I had eaten two pieces before getting home. Once I got home I felt so sick. I could not eat any more. I am still miserable and I hate myself for having caved like this. I don't know what to do about it. I hate being so weak as to cave in like this. I hate that I made it this far only to ruin my progress. I thought by now, I would have gotten over my desire for sad. I think my addictions are so strong and I am so weak and I am so angry at myself. I think in the back of my mind I was so upset today because I got on the scale and have not lost as much as I feel I should have for the length of time I have been doing so well. I don't know if that played a part or not. I think it may have. My stomach feels so awful and so sick. yuk!! Anyway, I just felt the need to come clean and accept responsibility for what I did so that I can move on and get back on the wagon. Depressed and embarrassed, Jeannie Groups Links ______________________________\ ____ Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2007 Report Share Posted June 30, 2007 Bobby, I sensed and felt a great spirituality in your post. How deep and how thoughtful you are in your words. I appreciate it greatly. It's just that I was under the impression that most habits could be developed in 30-45 days. It is because of this that I felt I should have already developed the new habit of just wanting raw. Also I guess I got caught up in all the people declaring their newly found hatred for sad and the falling numbers on the scale. I just wondered why so many people are so successful and I am struggling and yet not getting the same results or even similar. Lots of emotions going on and it does impair my logic. You are correct about needing patience, this is not one of my virtues...LOL I am just so sick of looking like I do. I am just so desperate to look better so I can feel better. I see my dh loosing so much and he is not even trying to be 100%. I just feel it's not fair. LOL Thank you, Jeannie your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. bobby kerry <bobby_ya333 rawfood Friday, June 29, 2007 4:54:08 PM Re: [Raw Food] I fell off the wagon (WAS: Garlic Redux) If you think about all the spiritual and neural connects that a person builds up over their lifetime, forming various " attachments " to things, it involves every aspect of the reality that created it, which is Infinity, but in a person's perspective, everything that they think and feel and see and experience goes into the creation of a person's way of being, which includes desire or lack thereof. Food is an extremely high emotional energy phenomena, that being which we derive life from, naturally we will have strong feelings about it. If we were machines, we could enter in a few lines of code and delete all the unwanted structures that have built up that make us who we are, including our desires. It takes time, repeated behavior, new experiences to unwind and clear our previous experiences and attachments. Three months is a great long while to stay on a raw food diet, but it is in most people's cases not enough to undo decades of previous experience. The fact you experience being " controlled by food all the time " is one of the first steps in gaining mastery over that experience. Most people don't realize fully or have a whole, multi sensory, mindful experience of their thoughts and behaviors being controlled by anything for their being fully indoctrinated into the illusion of self-control. Seeing the illusion is the first step to dispelling it. However, these things do take time. But, what a great reward to arrive at a place where there is a more clear perception about what is really so, and having the mastery that comes from that growth. Everything seems like it's going according to plan, but one must have patience with oneself and others for that plan to unfold. Just as a flower starts as a sprout and grows into a relatively uninteresting structure of green foliage, there comes the time, with proper soil, air, rain and sunshine, it does bloom in its full glory that abounds for all to experience in the joy that it spreads with its existence for all those around. And, as other's have said, this is a wonderful learning opportunity. However, growth can be quite uncomfortable at times. You've made it so far, this far, so please take heart! Namaste, Bobby jeannieh h <jeannieh99 wrote: Em, Thanks, I appreciate you. I am curious about that also, I don't know why I am still so craving sad foods. I also thought that I would have lost my cravings/desires for sad. I have heard so many people say, just as you are saying, that they have lost the taste for sad food. I not only haven't lost it, I still crave it but I fight it on a daily, minute by minute basis. I guess I am a real heavy duty sad addict and have a lot further to go before I am able to shake the cravings. I think it is a reason why I beat myself up so badly about caving...I do hear so many people sing praise about how they can't stand sad anymore, even the sight of it makes them sick...I wonder wth is wrong with me??? I find myself wondering why I am so controlled by food all the time. I just want to be able to shake it and finally come out on the other side. It is a very painful topic for me. Thanks for being there Em. Jeannie _,_._,___ Never miss an email again! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 30, 2007 Report Share Posted June 30, 2007 Kerri, Good point, but I'm afraid to eat more. LOL I am afraid because, I'm afraid I will either eat too much, or eat the wrong things or the wrong combinations. I'm must confused. LOL Can you tell me what you would suggest I add to my lunch? Jeannie your time is the most cherished gift of all, tomorrow is promised to no one. Kerri Myers <twinkles457 rawfood Friday, June 29, 2007 8:26:09 PM [Raw Food] Re: I fell off the wagon (WAS: Garlic Redux) Jeannie- I wonder if you are tired all of the time because you are not getting enough calories? From what you described as your typical breakfast and lunch, it seemed low to me. It may also help with the weight loss- in the past I consumed too few calories and that stalled my weight loss- adding some back in picked it right back up! Seems counter-intuitive, but really ,it's not! ~k ______________________________\ ____ Luggage? GPS? Comic books? Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search http://search./search?fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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