Subject: Achieving and Sustaining Success (Lesa); Principle for Vibrant Living: What Creates Health, Sustains Health; The One-Page Memo

[Guest guest]

THIS IS A VERY LONG POST.

 

 

 

Greetings Lesa and all,

 

 

 

I'm continuing to go through my backlog of posts in this group, and Lesa,

it's your turn!

 

 

 

Beginning on June 6, you wrote a series of long posts, initially using the

subject line " Q for E: Intake Quantity? " , describing your circumstances and

your wonderful achievements so far (release of more than 130 pounds during

the past year or so), and setting forth your questions and concerns about

where to go from here. Because of the voluminous nature of your writings, I

do not reproduce any of them here, except for the very first sentence you

wrote:

 

 

 

" I'm wondering if you could comment about volumetric, caloric intake, &

maintenance. "

 

 

 

Much writing followed, involving various participants in this group, as

people attempted to address with you the question you posed. Along the way,

one person, Margaret, as I recall, posed a simple question to you: " Are you

afraid of being skinny? "

 

 

 

From my perspective, your long and intensely emotional response, about how

she didn't " get you " and so forth, spoke volumes, at least to me. I wrote a

3-line post back, suggesting that, of all the posters in the conversation,

Margaret had hit the nail on the head and that I would share more, evoked an

even more intense emotional response - five long messages, the first three

sent privately to me, the final two posted in the group. Again, not the

content, but the intensity of all these messages spoke volumes to me.

 

 

 

Some of what I say here, you may not wish to hear. And as I wrote in that

little 3-line posts, almost all that I say here, I have said to you before

during our many private phone conversations.

 

 

 

Because of this, I have a request . one that you may find challenging, but

one that I believe will benefit you greatly: Don't respond AT ALL to this

message for at least 49 hours from the time you are reading it. Go inside

first, process first. I'll make a second, related request and suggestion

toward the end of this message.

 

 

 

And now, as " they " say, " On with the show! "

 

______

 

 

 

" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we

are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most

frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened

about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are

all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory

of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And

as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission

to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence

automatically liberates others. "

 

 

 

 

 

--- Marianne Williamson, Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A

Course in Miracles

 

 

______

 

 

 

Lesa, from my perspective, you stand perched atop a great precipice at a

great fork in the road of your life. Along one path lies the potential for

complete, lifelong success . you become a wonder to behold, a genuine and

palpable force in the world for health, vitality, and well-being. Along the

other path lies the potential for great disappointment, for " backsliding " ,

even the potential loss of all you have achieved so far. So what you learn

now, how you proceed now, may be far more significant to you . and to others

.. than you imagine.

 

 

 

The rest of this post sets forth my observations, perceptions,

interpretations, and recommendations. I write in considerable detail, in the

hope that you will " get " what I am saying, internalize it, and use to

achieve AND SUSTAIN the success that is presently at your door.

 

 

 

For I believe it is the fear of that success . rather, of what that success

might bring . that lies between you and its ultimate attainment. This is why

I have included the Marianne Williamson quote . I do not customarily do

this, as you are well aware.

 

 

 

In other words, this is not a discussion about " about volumetrics, caloric

intake, & maintenance, " the question you expressed from the beginning. In

fact, that very question screams confusion and misdirected focus to me.

 

 

 

1. Highlights from your writings: Following are bits of information I

perceive as germane and useful to you now:

 

 

 

- You have released more than 130 pounds during the past year or so.

Bravo!!!

 

- You are 5'7 " tall (approximately 170 cm long).

 

- You presently weight 140-something.

 

- You engage in light to moderate physical activity on a regular basis (2-3

mile walks on flat ground).

 

- You have made significant progress--breakthroughs really--internally, and

externally in certain relationships (ex-boyfriend, grandfather around age 3,

etc.)

 

- You have never once measured your body fat percent and do not know (as of

a few weeks ago) how to do so.

 

 

 

1. Principle for Vibrant Living: What creates success, sustains success.

Only the proportions, timing, and rhythms need change.

 

 

 

You have achieved your remarkable success-to-date by following, rather

closely if I understand correctly, Dr. Doug Graham's 80/10/10 program. In

fact, you have released an average of more than 10 pounds per month for at

least a year now. This is a fantastic achievement, one to " write home

about " !!!

 

 

 

ONE key to continued success is to stay the course: stay with the program

that got you this far. To do this, you must address item #2, immediately

following.

 

 

 

2. Accept that your healthful, sustainable, lifelong body weight is

somewhere in the 120s. You express fear that, having reached the 140s, you

continue to release weight. This is as it should be. You have 20+ pounds to

go, in terms of body weight.

 

 

 

3. Shift the focus of your goal-setting to body composition. COMPLETELY

release all body weight-related goals. (Whether as weight loss/release or as

a " target weight " .) Let your body choose its own long-term weight. (It will

anyway at some level.)

 

 

 

 

 

Instead of weight loss or a " target weight " , focus instead on a target body

composition. To do this, you'll need to get your body fat percent measured .

do that right away. And you'll need to do as described in #4, immediately

following.

 

 

 

4. Finish learning about 80/10/10.

 

 

 

What creates success, sustains success . IF AND ONLY IF you fully comprehend

what created success in the first place.

 

 

 

That you have never measured your body fat percent speaks volumes to me .

your comprehension of what Doug teaches is incomplete, at best. Your

expressed level of physical activity speaks similarly.

 

 

 

Everything Doug teaches is about creating health. Body weight is a poor

indicator of health . witness all the star athletes, people in absolutely

incredible shape . who drop dead on the playing field or from heart attacks

and the like during their 40s and 50s. These people are amazingly fit .

their body weight is " perfect " . But they are not healthy, and they never

were.

 

 

 

Setting goals for body composition (e.g., body fat percent) serves you far

better than does holding even a single thought about body weight. I'll not

explain here why this is so . I trust that you'll learn, if you wish.

 

 

 

In a larger sense, recreating the entire way you think, feel, and live is

required. THIS is 80/10/10. You have already accomplished these things to a

remarkable degree . we can all observe this from your writings. Still, your

fear holds you back from " going all the way " , and much lies before you.

(More on that below.)

 

 

 

5. Focus upon your own emotional cleansing and restoration-make this a

primary focus from this point, forward.

 

 

 

You have already accomplished much in this regard, releasing your

relationship of 15 years, about religious abuse throughout your childhood,

about your grandfather, etc. We have discussed these things in the past, and

more.

 

 

 

Still, the great part of your emotional growth lies before you, not behind

you. In particular, as I have written, I believe Margaret was " spot on " in

asking whether you fear " being too skinny " . I believe your long-term success

.. ALL of your long-term, sustained success, vitally depends upon your coming

to terms with creating AND SUSTAINING the great potential for beauty that

lies within you. And I believe you feel terrified of doing so, afraid, among

other things, that you will be emotionally and perhaps even physically

brutalized if you do.

 

 

 

From my perspective, you MUST address this completely, and you must do so in

the presence of someone who can guide you with great clarity and a strong

sense of focus and purpose.

 

 

 

And following all this, I believe that you feel terrified, just as so many

do, of your own power, your own potential to move mountains. From my

perspective, you must also address this, in the right time for you, if you

are to achieve and sustain all the physical, mental, and spiritual happiness

you seek.

 

 

 

5. Limit all writings about yourself to 250 words or less.

 

 

 

This suggestion may seem almost ridiculous to you at first . and I ask that

you read on.

 

 

 

To illustrate my motivation for this suggestion, I turn to one of the most

successful consumer marketing companies in history, Procter & Gamble. In the

world of consumer marketing, Procter & Gamble sits at the apex. The company

literally created modern market research and perfected the distinction

between qualitative and quantitative research. They forged new paths in the

business use of applied mathematics.

 

 

 

P & G's brand and product managers turned soap operas into the most successful

outreach medium in human history. They completely redefined " brand

awareness " and developed the idea beyond what anyone had ever envisioned

before. They invented modern conceptions of shelf space and perfected the

use of coupons and many other forms of promotion we now consider

commonplace. Colgate-Palmolive is and shall always remain a distant second.

Clorox first arose within P & G, then we spun off. Even Coca Cola, the most

successful and today the most recognized brand in the world, followed the

lead of P & G in many, many areas.

 

 

 

Why do I go on so about a company that sells not a single product of

interest to us here?

 

 

 

Because they implemented a policy among their managers that is known simply

as " the one-page memo " . Simply put, they required that all product and brand

proposals (and certain other documents) be reduced to one, single typed

page. This includes all references to supporting market research, all

financial projections, all brand development ideas, policies, and more.

 

 

 

This policy was and remains a stroke of sheer brilliance.

 

 

 

Why? Because it forces each author toward a level of clarity that he/she

would likely never otherwise attain. To fit a complete, multimillion-dollar

proposal into a single page of text demands that every word must count. It

requires that the communication be lean, direct, and totally " on focus " . No

stray words, no meanderings of any kind whatsoever.

 

 

 

So Lesa, I close with this suggestion: that you learn and implement,

initially in your own communications about yourself, a level of discipline

and focus unlike anything you have known. If you choose to adopt this

recommendation, you choose to nurture yourself, from this time forward, in

ways you cannot presently imagine.

 

 

 

Anyone can write a 10-page paper. Few can write an effective ONE-page paper

.. THAT is a great skill. And those who master it create clarity that others

cannot even fathom.

 

 

 

Best to all,

 

Elchanan