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Honesty?

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> The point is that a politician admitting an affair in Britain would not be

> forced to resign immediately because people are willing to accept that a

> person's private life is just that, and it does not affect their ability

to

> do their job (though many other factors obviously do, such as donors).

 

That's really sad isn't it? How can people believe that if a person

deceives in one part of their life they will be honest in another?

 

Jo

 

 

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Hi Jo,

 

>That's really sad isn't it? How can people believe that if a person

>deceives in one part of their life they will be honest in another?

 

Are you really telling me at you've never lied? Ever? Or that people are

not capable of learning from their mistakes?

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> Are you really telling me at you've never lied? Ever? Or that people are

> not capable of learning from their mistakes?

 

Come on, Michael - a " mistake " !! You'll be telling us next that you can't

blame men for having affairs because women are temptresses or some such

nonsense. A " mistake " is something which occurs through a brief lapse of

concentration. You don't have affairs through brief lapses of concentration,

you go looking for them. And, incidentally, I have never lied to the people

I love.

 

BB

Peter

 

 

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It is quite possible for people to make mistakes and to learn from them. Michael is right.

 

Janey

 

 

> Are you really telling me at you've never lied? Ever? Or that people are> not capable of learning from their mistakes?Come on, Michael - a "mistake"!! You'll be telling us next that you can'tblame men for having affairs because women are temptresses or some suchnonsense. A "mistake" is something which occurs through a brief lapse ofconcentration. You don't have affairs through brief lapses of concentration,you go looking for them. And, incidentally, I have never lied to the peopleI love.BBPeter---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.435 / Virus Database: 244 - Release 30/12/02To send an email to -

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> Are you really telling me at you've never lied? Ever?

 

I did tell Laura and Peter that there was Santa Claus. I have told people

that their clothes are nice when maybe I don't think they are. I have told

lies to help people feel better, but I have not told lies for any personal

gain at the expense of another. I have not broken any oaths. If I suddenly

found myself out of love with Colin (most unlikely) I would finish our

relationship before I started looking for other people to form relationships

with. This is the way I think people should behave if they are to call

themselves honest.

 

Or that people are

> not capable of learning from their mistakes?

 

Having extra-marital affairs cannot be called mistakes. If you are happy

with your partner you are not looking for sex with others. If you are not

happy with your partner you should finish with them before looking for

others. The people who do not finish their original relationship are just

hedging their bets, which is not an honourable thing to do. It shows that

the only person they care for is themselves.

 

Jo

 

>

>

> To send an email to -

>

>

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You and Michael are wrong.

 

Jo

 

-

Janey

Sunday, January 19, 2003 2:34 PM

Re: Honesty?

 

 

 

 

It is quite possible for people to make mistakes and to learn from them. Michael is right.

 

Janey

 

 

> Are you really telling me at you've never lied? Ever? Or that people are> not capable of learning from their mistakes?Come on, Michael - a "mistake"!! You'll be telling us next that you can'tblame men for having affairs because women are temptresses or some suchnonsense. A "mistake" is something which occurs through a brief lapse ofconcentration. You don't have affairs through brief lapses of concentration,you go looking for them. And, incidentally, I have never lied to the peopleI love.BBPeter---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.435 / Virus Database: 244 - Release 30/12/02To send an email to -

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This is my final reply so I will answer both messages in one:

 

>You are completely misunderstanding the point - it is not a matter of

>forgiveness - it is a matter of trust. That doesn't inspire trust, and I

>don't trust people who behave in that way. I'm surprised that you do.

 

I have no interest in posting my personal details but I've been in that

type of situation, the one lied to, so yes, I know what it's like, how it

hurts, and so I am fully aware of how if affects trust. It also means I'm

in a position where I know something of what it's like for the other

person, how they can be hurt by it too.

 

What you seem to misunderstand is that people are different, the balance

between emotion and rationality are different. Unless you happen to be the

only person in the world who can give a rational explanation of love then I

don't see how you can give a reasonable condemnation of how it affects some

people. It is far more complicated than the simple black and white line

that you paint it to be. And no, that does not make it right nor is it a

defense.

 

> A " mistake " is something which occurs through a brief lapse of

>concentration. You don't have affairs through brief lapses of concentration,

>you go looking for them.

 

We can argue over the semantics of whether " mistake " is the most

appropriate word but that doesn't change the fact that someone can can come

to regret their actions, realize they were wrong, and not do it again.

 

>And, incidentally, I have never lied to the people I love.

 

What about to people you don't love? I believe Jo's point was that if

someone lies in one area of their life, then how can you trust them in any

area. I don't see any reason why someone capable of little white lies

should be considered incapable of big whopping ones.

 

My only point in writing was to correct the statement that any British

politician having an affair would be forced to resign, and have done so. I

had no intention in getting into a debate.

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>>It is quite possible for people to make mistakes and to learn from

>>them. Michael is right.

>You and Michael are wrong.

 

Crikey, the most damning indictment of humanity I've ever seen! Humanity

incapable from learning from mistakes, it suddenly makes everything seem

meaningless.

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You have given your reason for putting forward your comments, and my reason

is that I can trust a person only if they behave in a certain way. Of

course people are different, but that does not mean that I should not state

what I think. I am not discussing how it may or may not affect different

people I am stating how someone can gain or lose my trust. I do have a

right to judge people who are 'in power' over me and 'representing' me.

 

As far as I am concerned it is black and white. You either love someone or

you don't. If you love someone why would you betray them? Even you must

surely admit that it is easier to trust someone if they have never made a

'mistake' rather than if they have but don't intend to do it again!

 

Jo

 

 

 

 

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Actually, I was being sarcastic at Janey's comment that I was wrong, as if

she had the final say.

 

...... but come to think of it, tell me when it has learned from mistakes

then? The same 'mistakes' are

made over and over and over again. People do not seem to learn from their

own mistakes or the mistakes of others.

 

Jo

 

 

>

> >>It is quite possible for people to make mistakes and to learn from

> >>them. Michael is right.

> >You and Michael are wrong.

>

> Crikey, the most damning indictment of humanity I've ever seen! Humanity

> incapable from learning from mistakes, it suddenly makes everything seem

> meaningless.

>

>

> To send an email to -

>

>

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> What about to people you don't love? I believe Jo's point was that if

> someone lies in one area of their life, then how can you trust them in any

> area.

 

Since I'm not Jo, I'm not quite sure why you feel that her points have any

bearing on mine. My point (and I suspect that this is also Jo's point) is

that when you love someone, the natural human reaction is to place their

needs above the needs of others. Therefore if you claim to love someone, to

betray their trust is a somewhat damning indictement of your character. I

don't accept that if you lie to someone you have never met automatically

means that you will lie to your loved ones. However, if you are the sort of

person who lies to your loved ones, then people you've never met are not

going to be an issue.

 

> I don't see any reason why someone capable of little white lies

> should be considered incapable of big whopping ones.

 

Its a thing called honour.

 

> My only point in writing was to correct the statement that any British

> politician having an affair would be forced to resign, and have done so.

I

> had no intention in getting into a debate.

 

And you have very amply shown how the concept of honour has virtually died

in Britain during the past 5 years.

 

BB

Peter

 

 

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i certainly hope you were joking jo

 

 

" Heartwork " <Heartwork wrote:

 

>You and Michael are wrong.

>

>Jo

>  -

>  Janey

>  

>  Sunday, January 19, 2003 2:34 PM

>  Re: Honesty?

>

>

>

>        It is quite possible for people to make mistakes and to learn from

them.  Michael is right.

>

>        Janey

>

>

>

>        > Are you really telling me at you've never lied? Ever? Or that people

are

>        > not capable of learning from their mistakes?

>

>        Come on, Michael - a " mistake " !! You'll be telling us next that you

can't

>        blame men for having affairs because women are temptresses or some such

>        nonsense. A " mistake " is something which occurs through a brief lapse

of

>        concentration. You don't have affairs through brief lapses of

concentration,

>        you go looking for them. And, incidentally, I have never lied to the

people

>        I love.

>

>        BB

>        Peter

>

>

>        ---

>        Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

>        Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

>        Version: 6.0.435 / Virus Database: 244 - Release 30/12/02

>

>

>        To send an email to -

>

>        

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I was being sarcastic because of Janeys short sharp reply that implied she

knew best, and that was the end of it. I was reacting the way Janey did.

 

Jo

 

 

> i certainly hope you were joking jo

>

>

> " Heartwork " <Heartwork wrote:

>

> >You and Michael are wrong.

> >

> >Jo

> > -

> > Janey

> >

> > Sunday, January 19, 2003 2:34 PM

> > Re: Honesty?

> >

> >

> >

> > It is quite possible for people to make mistakes and to learn from them.

Michael is right.

> >

> > Janey

> >

> >

> >

> > > Are you really telling me at you've never lied? Ever? Or that people

are

> > > not capable of learning from their mistakes?

> >

> > Come on, Michael - a " mistake " !! You'll be telling us next that you

can't

> > blame men for having affairs because women are temptresses or some such

> > nonsense. A " mistake " is something which occurs through a brief lapse of

> > concentration. You don't have affairs through brief lapses of

concentration,

> > you go looking for them. And, incidentally, I have never lied to the

people

> > I love.

> >

> > BB

> > Peter

> >

> >

> > ---

> > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

> > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

> > Version: 6.0.435 / Virus Database: 244 - Release 30/12/02

> >

> >

> > To send an email to -

> >

> >

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Hi Jo

 

I was only agreeing with Michael. Didn't mean to give a short sharp reply - just merely typed that I agreed with Michael. No offense meant and no sarcastic reply required. Sorry!!!

Janey

x

 

I was being sarcastic because of Janeys short sharp reply that implied sheknew best, and that was the end of it. I was reacting the way Janey did.Jo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hi Janey

 

I didn't really take offense, It's good to have you commenting again.

 

Jo

 

-

Janey

Wednesday, January 22, 2003 7:27 AM

Re: Honesty?

 

 

 

 

Hi Jo

 

I was only agreeing with Michael. Didn't mean to give a short sharp reply - just merely typed that I agreed with Michael. No offense meant and no sarcastic reply required. Sorry!!!

Janey

x

 

I was being sarcastic because of Janeys short sharp reply that implied sheknew best, and that was the end of it. I was reacting the way Janey did.Jo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks Jo!

 

Janey

x

 

 

Hi Janey

 

I didn't really take offense, It's good to have you commenting again.

 

Jo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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