Incredulous in-law behavior - is it just me?

[Guest guest]

My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box instead

of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw it. He said

it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word " milk " on it

escaped him.

 

My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already would

have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she actually

had a milk allergy.

 

So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My mother-in-law

came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive you now. Before I

thought you were just being overprotective. "

 

I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law's company anymore anyway, but I am so very

angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

 

Anyone else deal with issues like this?

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Oh, I am just so very sorry for your daughter and you. Vomiting for 5

hours is just hideous. And I'm very sorry for your husband, too, as I'm

sure he feels really bad about the oversight. As for the in-laws, I

don't have similar experience or issues to deal with right now (my

in-laws are passed away, but were especially challenging when they were

alive) - I just wanted to say that all my sympathy is with you and no,

it's not just you. It's almost more offensive for her to admit that she

didn't believe you - right in the middle of your daughter vomiting for

hours. Wow. I think it might help you to focus on your daughter and

her recovery, make sure she's rehydrating, treat her tummy gently (BRATY

diet and saltines and herb tea are nice in a time like this), spend all

your time comforting her and snuggling her (you could even sequester

yourselves in a bedroom and not have to deal with other folks too much),

and forget about all the negativity around the situation - just focusing

on your baby instead. It will help you both heal from this situation.

(And I'm not sure how possible it is, but getting home a bit quicker

might help you both heal in your own bed more comfortably, if you can.)

Best of luck and hope you all feel better very soon! Take care!

Lorraine

 

 

On

Behalf Of flwrchldme1971

Monday, May 18, 2009 3:40 PM

 

Incredulous in-law behavior - is it just me?

 

 

 

 

 

My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box

instead of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I

saw it. He said it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and

the word " milk " on it escaped him.

 

My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she

already would have (not how it works with my child). Basically they

didn't think she actually had a milk allergy.

 

So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My

mother-in-law came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I

belive you now. Before I thought you were just being overprotective. "

 

I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law's company anymore anyway, but I am

so very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

 

Anyone else deal with issues like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I am horrified! I hope your husband apologized to your daughter.

 

 

 

 

________________________________

flwrchldme1971 <a_new_dawn

 

Monday, May 18, 2009 5:40:25 PM

Incredulous in-law behavior - is it just me?

 

 

 

 

 

My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box instead

of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw it. He said

it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word " milk " on it

escaped him.

 

My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already would

have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she actually

had a milk allergy.

 

So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My mother-in-law

came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive you now. Before I

thought you were just being overprotective. "

 

I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law' s company anymore anyway, but I am so

very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

 

Anyone else deal with issues like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

OH YES!!! My in laws so not believe anything I say about my own children. Oh,

they can have a little at gradmas it won't hurt.  Bull Pucky. So I offer for

them to pay the specialist at childrens hospital after showing them the bill.

That seemed to cure that problem.

 Unita Walburn

Mulberry Island Station Homestead

Berefoot Books Stall Holder

visit my site @ www..mybarefootbooks.com/UnitaWalburn

 

 

 

 

________________________________

flwrchldme1971 <a_new_dawn

 

Monday, May 18, 2009 6:40:25 PM

Incredulous in-law behavior - is it just me?

 

 

 

 

 

My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box instead

of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw it. He said

it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word " milk " on it

escaped him.

 

My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already would

have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she actually

had a milk allergy.

 

So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My mother-in-law

came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive you now. Before I

thought you were just being overprotective. "

 

I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law' s company anymore anyway, but I am so

very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

 

Anyone else deal with issues like this?

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Hi,

We deal with something similar, for almost 6 years now. My in-laws are

pretty clueless, and our son also has a milk allergy. We've dealt with

them 'not knowing', we've given them lists (what to avoid, and when

that fell on deaf ears, we gave them lists of what he could have and

they still don't quite get it...). Why my husband OK'd this, I'll

never know, but he regrets it and feels terribly about it, too - but

on Mother's Day we were over at their house for a little get together

for Mother's day as well as their wedding anniversary (his dad

remarried when he was about 10). They had some merangue cookies that

they said had no milk in them just eggs and sugar...mind you these are

store bought, which means we shouldn't A) take their word for it and

B) they manufacturers like to put milk into all kinds of goofy things.

My husband said he could have one and we ended up dealing with

terrible bowel issues for nearly a week but luckily escaped the bad

attitude/180 degree change in behaviour that also comes with

accidental milk ingestion- (he does this from hidden ingredients like

casien, and whey and milk It has been around 4 years since we stopped

trying to see if he was still allergic and re-introducing it after a

break and it's been about 2 since we had him actually tested -for

school documentation- for an actual milk protein allergy, which was

confirmed by the allergist we saw, but still wanted us to see if

giving him an OTC children's allergy medicine and Childrens Tums would

resolve his issues with it...aargh). But luckily I don't think he had

but maybe a bite or 2 before he gave up on it anyway (probably made

his stomach hurt before the bowel issues that stemmed from then until

it all worked it's way out of his system over the next 5 or so days!

Just like it always has...)

 

I don't know if they get it, but I do know that we had to pick him up

from a sleepover because they probably gave him just some bread they

had which had whey in it, and they called, in tears, for us to come

get him because he was a disaster with them, and they couldn't deal

with him (not that they associated the turn of behavior with anything

THEY did, but it was HIM that was the problem that time...I don't even

recall, but we always had packed a lunchbox for him with dinner and

breakfast things and they usually NEVER even opened it so they dealt

with the consequences, and what we usually end up dealing with when

something gets by. I'm surprised that we didn't have behavior issues

that week, though, now that I think about it.

 

I understand your situation, though they've never said they don't

believe us, perhaps that bout a couple years ago with his crazy

behavior at their house when we had to pick him up (also was the last

time he stayed over there since they'd not ever listened to us about

only giving him what we packed once we determined the allergy and

stopped giving him milk). I guess maybe the good news that came out of

this was that they do believe you now and perhaps seeing their

granddaughter going through so much suffering that they will follow

your lead now. Unfortunate as it may be, but perhaps they 'get it'

now...I know we'd prefer that they would have believed us in the first

place, but at least now they know you are serious. My son's symptoms

happen w/in 4 hrs or so, and then we have behavior and bowel issues

(no longer vomiting and whelts and HOT,raised, red, bumpy skin where

his BM touched his skin - I'm glad that his bowel issues no longer

cause the skin problems as we'd have an even worse week, but thinking

about it now, I wonder if they still burn him on the way out even if

his skin isn't reacting as severely. Poor guy. )

 

Sorry to get sidetracked, but it's hard to deal with, and I can only

imagine when they don't believe you the tension in the air on top of

having to deal with your daughter's reaction. We've had no real luck

with our in-laws, they claim things have no dairy, when they actually

do (and have milk listed in the 'allergen warning list' that is on the

back of most products...but they NEVER read them anyway, they like to

guess...like I guess if it doesn't say it in the name of the product

it's not there? I have no clue). I don't know why we decided to let

our guard down this time...if we can't read it, he can't have it when

we're there. I'm glad our son is smart enough to know things, and

always asks us if he can have something (they had BBQ chips, he asked

if he could have some, and I said no to, and later found the bag, read

it and sure enough there was whey in it).

 

I hope your daughter is feeling better now! Hopefully they 'get it'

now and you won't have any further issues like us. My mom goes

crazy and buys us anything she can that says vegan on it (one of her

biggest thrills was the Zen soy puddings she found that he could have

LOL). At least I know she reads ingredients (she always did when I was

a kid, too!) and she will call to ask if she's unsure about something.

I only wish we lived closer to her than the in-laws. LOL. Sorry for

the ramble, you can ramble back at me, as I know what frustration and

irritation it can be to deal with a very similar situation.

 

Missie

 

 

 

On Mon, May 18, 2009 at 5:40 PM, flwrchldme1971

<a_new_dawn wrote:

>

>

> My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

> morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box

> instead of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw

> it. He said it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word

> " milk " on it escaped him.

>

> My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

> mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already

> would have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she

> actually had a milk allergy.

>

> So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My

> mother-in-law came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive

> you now. Before I thought you were just being overprotective. "

>

> I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law's company anymore anyway, but I am so

> very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

>

> Anyone else deal with issues like this?

>

>

>

 

 

 

--

 

http://mszzzi.zoomshare.com

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mszzzi/

 

~~~~~(m-.-)m

[Guest guest]

I feel your pain. My little one has a wheat allergy but they refuse to believe

me. Whenever I pick her up from there I can tell that she had wheat by this

horrible diaper rash type sore she gets. It's awful.

 

I hope your daughter is feeling better now.

 

, " flwrchldme1971 " <a_new_dawn wrote:

>

> My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box instead

of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw it. He said

it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word " milk " on it

escaped him.

>

> My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already would

have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she actually

had a milk allergy.

>

> So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My mother-in-law

came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive you now. Before I

thought you were just being overprotective. "

>

> I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law's company anymore anyway, but I am so

very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

>

> Anyone else deal with issues like this?

>

[Guest guest]

How terrible. I hope your daughter is feeling better. I can't say I've had quite

the same experience with my in-laws. Even though my father-in-law is dubious of

our vegan diet, to my knowledge neither he nor my mother-in-law has ever fed our

son any animal products.

 

Once in a while, my father-in-law will tell my son a cookie or piece of cake

they are eating is vegan when it's not and we have to intervene and find an

appropriate substitute. I don't understand why our diet is such a threat to

other family members, especially parents and in-laws, but it is. Perhaps it's

perceived as a rejection of the way they raised us, much like when we hold

differing views of discipline and schooling.

 

Library Momma.

 

, " flwrchldme1971 " <a_new_dawn wrote:

>

> My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box instead

of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw it. He said

it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word " milk " on it

escaped him.

>

> My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already would

have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she actually

had a milk allergy.

>

> So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My mother-in-law

came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive you now. Before I

thought you were just being overprotective. "

>

> I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law's company anymore anyway, but I am so

very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

>

> Anyone else deal with issues like this?

>

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry. We've had similiar issues, and it's so sad to watch your children

suffer for no reason. I feel for you!

Hope you can enjoy the rest of your vacation anyway! it's hard to trust people

who are so obviously disrespectful to your beliefs, but after almost 10 yrs of

marriage, and my 2 children, ages 6 and 8, I still have these things come up

once in a while. Good luck!

Hang in there!

Janeen

 

 

 

 

________________________________

flwrchldme1971 <a_new_dawn

 

Monday, May 18, 2009 6:40:25 PM

Incredulous in-law behavior - is it just me?

 

 

 

 

 

My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box instead

of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw it. He said

it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word " milk " on it

escaped him.

 

My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already would

have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she actually

had a milk allergy.

 

So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My mother-in-law

came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive you now. Before I

thought you were just being overprotective. "

 

I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law' s company anymore anyway, but I am so

very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

 

Anyone else deal with issues like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I feel for you and can understand. When I had mentioned going veggie to my

family, my own mom said that I was depriving my children by not feeding them

meat! We also got into it recently when I mentioned the fit my 9 year old threw

when I told him he couldn't take candy to school. My mom didn't understand the

big deal, after all, she " let us take junk to school " . It wasn't so much the

junk, but the tantrum. He eats enough junk at his dad's, it is my job to give

him healthy options.

 

, janeen minguillo <jminshan wrote:

>

> I'm so sorry. We've had similiar issues, and it's so sad to watch your

children suffer for no reason. I feel for you!

> Hope you can enjoy the rest of your vacation anyway! it's hard to trust people

who are so obviously disrespectful to your beliefs, but after almost 10 yrs of

marriage, and my 2 children, ages 6 and 8, I still have these things come up

once in a while. Good luck!

> Hang in there!

> Janeen

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> flwrchldme1971 <a_new_dawn

>

> Monday, May 18, 2009 6:40:25 PM

> Incredulous in-law behavior - is it just me?

>

>

>

>

>

> My family and I are on vacation and staying at my in-laws'. Somehow this

morning, my husband accidentally gave my daughter a small cow's milk box instead

of soy milk box. She drank almost an entire half of it before I saw it. He said

it was the same shape. Somehow the big smiling cow and the word " milk " on it

escaped him.

>

> My in-laws went on and on about how it wouldn't affect her. My ignorant

mother-in-law told me that if she was going to have a reaction she already would

have (not how it works with my child). Basically they didn't think she actually

had a milk allergy.

>

> So our milk allergic daughter vomited for 5 hours afterward. My mother-in-law

came up to me after 2 hours of vomiting and said, " I belive you now. Before I

thought you were just being overprotective. "

>

> I don't really enjoy my mother-in-law' s company anymore anyway, but I am so

very angry. I can barely stand to be around her.

>

> Anyone else deal with issues like this?

>

>

 

[Guest guest]

What a horrible situation!!!

 

What is equally as frusturating is that we have chosen to stop all dairy and

meat but because we have chosen it for my own beliefs, it is somehow not

important. I switched the girls to substitute milks months ago.

 

For example, I had to get a doctor's note that the preschooler, Ani, was allowed

to have a milk substitute...unfortunately it is a government run program so they

have their bs " healthy food " meals with requirements. Then, I had to deal with

the dumb nurse through the pediatricians office and had explain my own health

reasons I do not want the girls having dairy anymore...i know more about diet

than she does. She was dumb and passed the message along to the doctor, who did

write a note.

 

Well, my boyfriend (their father) gets 3 hours of sleep a night and has noone

but me helping, so he doesn't always get another carton of milk sub to them in

time....well the other day I came in to grab her for a doc appointment, and they

gave her cow's milk!!!!! I was beside myself and am not a confrontational

person, so I just angirly left and decided I would just ensure she ALWAYS had

milk there. I could not believe it!!! I just wanted to yell, you do know that

water is an essential of life, NOT MILK!!!!! "

 

Then, we are dealing with the maternal family. I just LOVE when those obese,

unhealthy people tell my (i say my but they aren't...i am raising them but they

have their piece of crap mother who sees them 2 hrs a week at the Y for

supervised visits) girls that meat makes your brain stronger and you need cow's

milk - this includes the crackwhore mother...she was the one who said the meat

and brain thing - and claimed to the father that she was unahppy with the diet

change...because doritots and candy that she brings them every week is a great

balanced diet. The older daughter has gotten over that anxiety about our diet

change, but how dare they criticize our diet changes when they are far from

healthy.

 

And you guys may remember this situation(I haven' had a chance to really

comment again), but the maternal grandmother actually thinks she is going to get

full custody of both girls....the older one is not biologically Johnny's but he

is the only father Lily has ever known, and the younger one is his. There is no

way she will ever win. Plus, we just filed all our motions to counter it AND we

filed contemptive court charges against her since she has been breaking it.

This woman is a top GM of red lobster, and she is the most apathetic, malicious,

and spiteful person i've ever met....well, needless to say, this judge is known

for throwing people who break court order in jail.....sorry to side track

 

but anyways, she FINALLY stopped feeding them meat, but she completely

disregarded Johnny's wishes...now what has she fed them EVERY visit

since....grilled cheese and ice cream....johnny's lawyer actually put in the

motion to dismiss her motion that we have switched to veg diet and she refuses

to abide by it!!! I was actually quite surprised!!!

 

anyways...I feel your frusturation because as we all know as

parents...regardless of whether your choices are for health or moral purposes or

both....we deal with BS every day and people, even our own family which can be

the worst, do not understand and refuse to accept anything that might be an

inconvenience to them instead of looking at what the parent's have chosen is

best for their kids

 

and on a side note....has anyone seen the video of that 400lb 7yr old? I saw

the you-tube video that was through ET...it made me sick esp since they said

things like " she's so brave. It gives me hope and I pray for her and blah blah

blah " .....why the hell did that news reporter not say, " the Child Family

Services will be investigating her family to see why such abuse has been going

on "

 

I have read things about families being put on a witch trial because of their

veg diet, but noone seems to think there is anything wrong with this mother

shoveling food down her daughter's throat to a point beyond overweight

 

also, it was really really rewarding when I went back for Ani's asthma

recheck....it had been three months since we started the daily breathing

treatments...Ani gained 3lbs!!!! she was at 29, 30 for like ever, and esp when i

see old pics, she was very sickly looking...mind you she was really sick but

this was before and during the transition of me watching them 5 nights a

week...his mother (paternal grandma) fed her poptarts and crackers and

meat....well, now she eats whole grains and a salad every night and other

healthy stuff...but i was sooo happy that she had finally filled out...solid

33lbs...but I talked to her doc about diet and stuff...she told me as she was

leaving to keep up the good job with the girls, then she continued that she

feels like shes beating her head against the wall trying to tell parents how

important good nutirtion is and I already knew it and was doing it!!!! I could

tell she was quite happy and relieved....it was a nice feeling for esp since

everyone else has gone against our changes.

 

anyways, so sorry about the incident and sorry about the in-laws....i feel your

pain!

 

amanda