what to feed SAD nephew

July 2, 2009

Hi everyone!

My 7 year old nephew is coming to visit for a week. He is very much on the

Standard American Diet. His mother and I always have 'issues' with food

when the family gets together. I think she feels like I am judging her

because she doesn't really care what goes in her kids' mouths (her words,

not mine!) and so she gets offensive and attacking about my family's vegan

diet. But that's a whole other issue (one of those in-law things!!).

When he came last year for a week, he ate pretty good, but probably not as

much as he usually does. And he was constantly asking " Is this real? " Which

comes from his mother telling him my food is not real and is no good. Well,

she says he came home constipated for 2 weeks and I better give him his

'much needed, important nutrient' of cow milk every day 3 times a day!

Well, that's fine if that's what she wants. As long as she buys it, I'll

give it to him. She thinks this will keep " the good bacteria in his

digestive tract " to prevent the problem of constipation this time around. I

just laughed at that, but told her I would do it.

Anyway, what I need are some good ideas for what to feed him. She says he

doesn't like the 'fake substitues' (which we don't use around here much

anyway). Of course, how does she know? She doesn't because obviously she

doesn't give it to him, she is just a very caustic person and says it's

unapplealing to her and tastes gross. Which she transfers to him.

He won't eat our natural peanut butter (I grind my own) as he is too used to

the Jif filled with sugar, salt and oil. He didn't like our vegan cheese or

my vegan mac and cheese. We live in a fairly small town with no major

health food store (I usually by from our coop, but the next order doen't

come in til the end of the week). So I can't run out and get the vegan

chicken nuggets or anything. Last year I got him the soy cheese (not vegan)

that Wal-mart carried and we had 'cheese' quesadillas just about every day

for lunch. But they no longer carry that cheese around here, so I don't

have access to it anymore. He did eat our vegan tacos (with ground seitan),

but that's the only thing I can remember him actually eating a good amount

of last time. Oh, and he won't eat nuts! Which we eat a lot of around here

and there are nuts in most of my recipes!

I'm hoping some of you can give me some ideas! Maybe some of you have

experience feeding a non-vegan child for a while and know what's a sure-fire

hit! I would really like him to go home and say he ate good and enjoyed the

food!

I suppose I can always just go buy some Wonder " bread " and Jif and feed him

that every day! How nutritious!

Thanks in advance (sorry for the bit of a rant in the email!)

Elizabeth

July 2, 2009

Elizabeth,

I'm so sorry that you have to face this. But I might buy him white bread, and

Jif, and whatever else that you can without going against your vegan ideas, and

let him eat a little " junky " . That's what I might do. If his mother doesn't

care, which it's clear she doesn't and he eats all this sugar all the time, he

is also going through withdrawal at your house. Try to make it as normal for

him, as nutritious as you can, but don't kill yourself. maybe the kids have fun,

playing together and other things, that you can try not to make an issue out of

the food. Seems impossible. I always feel bad when we have neighbors over and

they don't eat any food, or the quinoa smells yucky! or stuff like that. I don't

need to be offended, and they just want to play. It's so sad when children are

taught these behaviors, and it's insulting to you. Also, understandably, you

don't want your children exposed to the junky food. I feel for you, especially

if it's over a week.

Try to focus on the positive. I wouldn't be cooking meat in my house for him,

but maybe give him lots of extra fruit, that seems to be ok, for most kids. and

take care of the sugar. strawberries and apples, i guess are the most popular.

other than that, i'd have lots of pasta ready for him, as an option. also you

can get the smucker's uncrustables, keep in freezer, and take out as needed. you

can toast them in a pinch, if it's not defrosted. if he went for the veg tacos,

maybe you can do veg meatless balls, with pasta and sauce. He's not used to

thinking about his food, so I'd just try to make it seem normal. We have a

neighbor, who always announces that he loves meat when he's over. I decided to

invite them over less often, especially since he tries to tease my kids about

it, and I won't let them try to disgust him out of the gross things that he

eats! Not in front of me, anyway. SAD kids are not use to whole grains and

things that taste earthy. Which

we love. so try to keep it simple. Broccoli, and carrots, I think are kind of

standard. Nothing too green. Vegan butter doesn't seem to be a problem, so in a

pinch, you can offer some pasta and butter. (I make a big pot of it, and keep it

in the fridge, stir with the littlest bit of olive oil, so it doesn't stick

together, and put in a moist paper towel before closing the container, so it

doesn't dry out. trick i learned from years of working at a restaurant). Also

maybe have individual mac and cheese from Kraft, or some other recognizable

brand to him. then you can just make it for him, and everyone else can eat good

food. Soups too, could work. Try to blend them so nothing is too veggie for him.

maybe he'll need to add some extra salt to his. I really try to accomodate the

children in the way that they see it. Because you are right, if he goes home

thinking your food is gross it's a bonus for his kind of eating habits, however

unhealthy they may be.

This got wordy, but hope you find something in there. Good Luck to you!

In laws can be very difficult. And to think that your sil should be grateful

that you are hosting her son for a week. I had a fall out with my sil who is non

veg, and whenever she would be in town, i was the designated babysitter. i loved

that our kids got together, since i think it's important for the kids to have

their time together, and i try to foster that special bond. but recently she

finally insulted me so bad, that i told my husband i will no longer be looking

after her children. And also, I would go out of my way to accomodate them. And

what did she do when she had my son? give him chicken soup, and tell him not to

eat the chicken! Here you are worried about how to make her son comfortable, and

she doesn't think twice about insulting you.

Try your best, if that doesn't work, you did what you could!

Best of Luck!

Janeen

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Elizabeth Murray <funwiththekids

Thursday, July 2, 2009 9:29:13 AM