Guest guest Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 So we met the teacher last night, started preschool today. We told her we are vegan and that he's allergic to dairy and talked to her about his expressive language delay, how he won't be able to say what he can/can't have or ask if something is OK for him to eat. We probably should have emphasized it more, but the teacher did tell us that they rarely have anything but fruits and veg, never meat, occasionally popcorn, and declined my offer to bring in a snack he could have because the kids feed themselves the snacks. They have cut out wheat snacks already for a kid in the class that can't have wheat and it would be no problem to cut dairy too. When we left him this morning, they had set out carrots and oranges. When we came to check on him just over half way through the morning, she told us he'd been doing good, just was having trouble with things that are always issues with new kids, e.g. only doing one activity at a time, putting them away, etc. Also said he'd had a snack and birthday treat - carrots, oranges, yogurt and pumpkin cupcakes. WHAT????? She said that she hadn't gotten a chance to tell the other teacher yet, and didn't think about the fact that yogurt had milk in it. The cupcake, she didn't know exactly what it had in it, but knew it didn't have frosting, just coolwhip topping (like that made it OK). I was stunned. I did not know what to say. She seemed a bit upset and aware she had done something wrong, but I don't think she realizes just what a big deal this is to us. After 3 years of him having no animal products, he got milk, eggs and gelatin all in one day!!! Luckily, my husband talked to her about it as I was not up to it, was already emotiionally frazzled and basicalyl stunned. DH and I are just not sure if we want to send him back. The diet is not the only issue, though it is a major thing. If we do bring him tomorrow, I will bring along the letter I got from one of you previously, with the explicit instructions on what he can/can't have and make sure all staff get a copy, including the office. I was a bit lax after talking with her and thinking she understood that I didn't take those extra steps and really paid for it. Thankfully, my son didn't have a major reaction. He's never had eggs before today. Just wanted to vent to someone that would understand. Heather http://unsheeply.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Heather, Sorry to hear about your first day going like this. I had expressed my concerns before and I have not had good experiences either. There is rarely a week that goes by that someone isn't offering my child non-vegetarian food at her preschool. And that's vegetarian food. If I focused on vegan food I'd be pulling my hair like you wouldn't believe! When I first signed her up I did the same thing in explaining that we are vegetarians. I made a list of things she can't have. I was told they take a lunch from home each day and just eat that. Yeah... right. Someone has an excuse to bring food in for the kids almost daily! They do it because it's a birthday or even if it's a sunny day and they want to celebrate! It's ridiculous. Today my daughter told me that during their bingo (which is part of the cirriculum) the teacher gave her Starbursts to use as the marker. After the game they get eat the pieces. My daughter told HER that she can't eat them because they are not vegetarian (the teacher has known this since September). So she took those back and gave her M & M's (thanks a lot, yuck). This happens on a weekly basis. Thursday is an Easter party in her class. I had signedup to do it with two other parents. The other two wanted to do an all day junk food fest! No kidding. I made all kinds of healthy and environmentally friendly suggestions, but they all thought I was nuts and had a third eye. So I ended up backing out, as they were not bending, and I am not sending her to school Thursday (keep in mind that the parties are supposed to be an hour, but instead this will be all day. They are providing junk food snaacks, pizza and soda for lunch, and take home garbage snacks - most of which will not be vegetarian or vegan). Okay, I'm venting here. But it's because I can totally feel your frustration. I experience it weekly! Let us know what you decide to do! Jacqueline www.vegblogger.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Hi Heather, That is just outrageous. I can understand that the teacher felt really bad, but what if your son had an anaphylactic response? Or what if the allowed foods were against your religion? What do you have to do to have your wishes followed . no need to answer, I'm just agreeing with your shock. :{ One thing that worked for us at our son's old preschool is I made up a list of all of our special requests and situations - vegetarian, sensitive to this food, juice only diluted, not too much sugar, not to participate in this, etc. and gave it to the head of the school and the classroom teacher and assistant teacher. It probably helped a lot that I was there each day as a classroom volunteer in a parent participation program, but word spread quickly amongst the other teachers and a note went up on the kitchen fridge the next day about the special dietary needs of our son. Now, that's not to say that they didn't come really close to feeding him non-vegetarian things a couple times, and rushed over to ask me if this or that is okay (even though the note on the fridge would have helped them :-)). But, they never fed him anything non-vegetarian. If I wasn't there to ask, and hadn't already proven myself a rather . vocal . unbending . advocate for my son - who knows what would have happened. I'd give that list you're taking to the school to everyone who could possibly need it - maybe even make copies to bring with you so you can give the school copies for anyone who might come into contact with your child, even on the playground or at a field trip or anything - maybe in faculty in-boxes. And by all means, if you don't feel comfortable, take another day to decide and don't take him tomorrow. You can make that decision. It's okay. I often try to remind myself - we're doing this once, let's do it the way we'd like to. :-) Take care and so sorry you're having to deal with this! Lorraine On Behalf Of iris777888 Tuesday, March 23, 2010 2:52 PM update on preschool, started today So we met the teacher last night, started preschool today. We told her we are vegan and that he's allergic to dairy and talked to her about his expressive language delay, how he won't be able to say what he can/can't have or ask if something is OK for him to eat. We probably should have emphasized it more, but the teacher did tell us that they rarely have anything but fruits and veg, never meat, occasionally popcorn, and declined my offer to bring in a snack he could have because the kids feed themselves the snacks. They have cut out wheat snacks already for a kid in the class that can't have wheat and it would be no problem to cut dairy too. When we left him this morning, they had set out carrots and oranges. When we came to check on him just over half way through the morning, she told us he'd been doing good, just was having trouble with things that are always issues with new kids, e.g. only doing one activity at a time, putting them away, etc. Also said he'd had a snack and birthday treat - carrots, oranges, yogurt and pumpkin cupcakes. WHAT????? She said that she hadn't gotten a chance to tell the other teacher yet, and didn't think about the fact that yogurt had milk in it. The cupcake, she didn't know exactly what it had in it, but knew it didn't have frosting, just coolwhip topping (like that made it OK). I was stunned. I did not know what to say. She seemed a bit upset and aware she had done something wrong, but I don't think she realizes just what a big deal this is to us. After 3 years of him having no animal products, he got milk, eggs and gelatin all in one day!!! Luckily, my husband talked to her about it as I was not up to it, was already emotiionally frazzled and basicalyl stunned. DH and I are just not sure if we want to send him back. The diet is not the only issue, though it is a major thing. If we do bring him tomorrow, I will bring along the letter I got from one of you previously, with the explicit instructions on what he can/can't have and make sure all staff get a copy, including the office. I was a bit lax after talking with her and thinking she understood that I didn't take those extra steps and really paid for it. Thankfully, my son didn't have a major reaction. He's never had eggs before today. Just wanted to vent to someone that would understand. Heather http://unsheeply. <http://unsheeply.net> net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Oh boy, do I understand! We homeschool, and probably would have anyway. But our dietary preferences made the decision for us. No one could be trusted to follow a thing we said! And at the time we finally pulled our kids out for good, we were just doing Feingold (basically no " artificials " ), a healthier version of the SAD diet--not even vegetarian. But still no one had a clue. I know I sound intolerant, but COME ON--by now most people should be a LOT more educated about the food that goes into their bodies. I'm sorry, but I see no excuse anymore. Nothing but sympathy here, Heather. Marilyn Lorraine <ldemi Wed, Mar 24, 2010 1:35 am RE: update on preschool, started today Hi Heather, That is just outrageous. I can understand that the teacher felt really bad, but what if your son had an anaphylactic response? Or what if the allowed foods were against your religion? What do you have to do to have your wishes followed . no need to answer, I'm just agreeing with your shock. :{ One thing that worked for us at our son's old preschool is I made up a list of all of our special requests and situations - vegetarian, sensitive to this food, juice only diluted, not too much sugar, not to participate in this, etc. and gave it to the head of the school and the classroom teacher and assistant teacher. It probably helped a lot that I was there each day as a classroom volunteer in a parent participation program, but word spread quickly amongst the other teachers and a note went up on the kitchen fridge the next day about the special dietary needs of our son. Now, that's not to say that they didn't come really close to feeding him non-vegetarian things a couple times, and rushed over to ask me if this or that is okay (even though the note on the fridge would have helped them :-)). But, they never fed him anything non-vegetarian. If I wasn't there to ask, and hadn't already proven myself a rather . vocal . unbending . advocate for my son - who knows what would have happened. I'd give that list you're taking to the school to everyone who could possibly need it - maybe even make copies to bring with you so you can give the school copies for anyone who might come into contact with your child, even on the playground or at a field trip or anything - maybe in faculty in-boxes. And by all means, if you don't feel comfortable, take another day to decide and don't take him tomorrow. You can make that decision. It's okay. I often try to remind myself - we're doing this once, let's do it the way we'd like to. :-) Take care and so sorry you're having to deal with this! Lorraine On Behalf Of iris777888 Tuesday, March 23, 2010 2:52 PM update on preschool, started today So we met the teacher last night, started preschool today. We told her we are vegan and that he's allergic to dairy and talked to her about his expressive language delay, how he won't be able to say what he can/can't have or ask if something is OK for him to eat. We probably should have emphasized it more, but the teacher did tell us that they rarely have anything but fruits and veg, never meat, occasionally popcorn, and declined my offer to bring in a snack he could have because the kids feed themselves the snacks. They have cut out wheat snacks already for a kid in the class that can't have wheat and it would be no problem to cut dairy too. When we left him this morning, they had set out carrots and oranges. When we came to check on him just over half way through the morning, she told us he'd been doing good, just was having trouble with things that are always issues with new kids, e.g. only doing one activity at a time, putting them away, etc. Also said he'd had a snack and birthday treat - carrots, oranges, yogurt and pumpkin cupcakes. WHAT????? She said that she hadn't gotten a chance to tell the other teacher yet, and didn't think about the fact that yogurt had milk in it. The cupcake, she didn't know exactly what it had in it, but knew it didn't have frosting, just coolwhip topping (like that made it OK). I was stunned. I did not know what to say. She seemed a bit upset and aware she had done something wrong, but I don't think she realizes just what a big deal this is to us. After 3 years of him having no animal products, he got milk, eggs and gelatin all in one day!!! Luckily, my husband talked to her about it as I was not up to it, was already emotiionally frazzled and basicalyl stunned. DH and I are just not sure if we want to send him back. The diet is not the only issue, though it is a major thing. If we do bring him tomorrow, I will bring along the letter I got from one of you previously, with the explicit instructions on what he can/can't have and make sure all staff get a copy, including the office. I was a bit lax after talking with her and thinking she understood that I didn't take those extra steps and really paid for it. Thankfully, my son didn't have a major reaction. He's never had eggs before today. Just wanted to vent to someone that would understand. Heather http://unsheeply. <http://unsheeply.net> net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Thanks for the commiseration. I knew you guy would understand, which is unfortunate because it means you've had to deal with this stuff too. We both got an apology email from the teacher today, as well as an in person version when my DH dropped him off today. In general, she was very remorseful and quite concerned she had offended us or that we wouldn't bring him back. She also called the parents of the kid who had brought the birthday treats yesterday to see what they were made with so she could tell us. They told her it was a boxed mix, they added milk to it but no eggs and didn't know for sure what all was in it. How quickly I forget that most people don't do things the way we do. They had another birthday today, and since they hadn't had time to inform us in advance they planned a special treat for him (fruit kabob) so he had something to eat. She also mentioned we should have something to leave there that he can eat for future celebrations like this. I had brought this up on Monday, so glad she is open to the idea now. I also sent the letter today, with details on what he can/can't eat and offering to bring alternatives for anything, including for the entire class if needed, and acknowledging that know it is a pain to deviate from routine and will do what we can to make it as easy on them as possible. She seemed genuinely appreciative. We are still sending him for now, obviously need to give it a bit more time to evaluate. I think we were just upset yesterday not only about the food stuff, but also because this was his first time being left with strangers and taking steps towards independence. We're questioning whether this is a good move for our family from a much larger perspective than just whether or not the teachers can be trusted with his diet. It took him starting to make it seem real. Heather http://unsheeply.net , youhavehowmany wrote: > > Oh boy, do I understand! We homeschool, and probably would have anyway. But our dietary preferences made the decision for us. No one could be trusted to follow a thing we said! And at the time we finally pulled our kids out for good, we were just doing Feingold (basically no " artificials " ), a healthier version of the SAD diet--not even vegetarian. But still no one had a clue. I know I sound intolerant, but COME ON--by now most people should be a LOT more educated about the food that goes into their bodies. I'm sorry, but I see no excuse anymore. Nothing but sympathy here, Heather. Marilyn > > > > > > > Lorraine <ldemi > > Wed, Mar 24, 2010 1:35 am > RE: update on preschool, started today > > > > > Hi Heather, > That is just outrageous. I can understand that the teacher felt really > bad, but what if your son had an anaphylactic response? Or what if the > allowed foods were against your religion? What do you have to do to > have your wishes followed . no need to answer, I'm just agreeing with > your shock. :{ One thing that worked for us at our son's old preschool > is I made up a list of all of our special requests and situations - > vegetarian, sensitive to this food, juice only diluted, not too much > sugar, not to participate in this, etc. and gave it to the head of the > school and the classroom teacher and assistant teacher. It probably > helped a lot that I was there each day as a classroom volunteer in a > parent participation program, but word spread quickly amongst the other > teachers and a note went up on the kitchen fridge the next day about the > special dietary needs of our son. Now, that's not to say that they > didn't come really close to feeding him non-vegetarian things a couple > times, and rushed over to ask me if this or that is okay (even though > the note on the fridge would have helped them :-)). But, they never fed > him anything non-vegetarian. If I wasn't there to ask, and hadn't > already proven myself a rather . vocal . unbending . advocate for my son > - who knows what would have happened. > > I'd give that list you're taking to the school to everyone who could > possibly need it - maybe even make copies to bring with you so you can > give the school copies for anyone who might come into contact with your > child, even on the playground or at a field trip or anything - maybe in > faculty in-boxes. And by all means, if you don't feel comfortable, take > another day to decide and don't take him tomorrow. You can make that > decision. It's okay. I often try to remind myself - we're doing this > once, let's do it the way we'd like to. :-) > > Take care and so sorry you're having to deal with this! > Lorraine > > > On > Behalf Of iris777888 > Tuesday, March 23, 2010 2:52 PM > > update on preschool, started today > > > So we met the teacher last night, started preschool today. We told her > we are vegan and that he's allergic to dairy and talked to her about his > expressive language delay, how he won't be able to say what he can/can't > have or ask if something is OK for him to eat. > > We probably should have emphasized it more, but the teacher did tell us > that they rarely have anything but fruits and veg, never meat, > occasionally popcorn, and declined my offer to bring in a snack he could > have because the kids feed themselves the snacks. They have cut out > wheat snacks already for a kid in the class that can't have wheat and it > would be no problem to cut dairy too. When we left him this morning, > they had set out carrots and oranges. > > When we came to check on him just over half way through the morning, she > told us he'd been doing good, just was having trouble with things that > are always issues with new kids, e.g. only doing one activity at a time, > putting them away, etc. Also said he'd had a snack and birthday treat - > carrots, oranges, yogurt and pumpkin cupcakes. WHAT????? > > She said that she hadn't gotten a chance to tell the other teacher yet, > and didn't think about the fact that yogurt had milk in it. The cupcake, > she didn't know exactly what it had in it, but knew it didn't have > frosting, just coolwhip topping (like that made it OK). I was stunned. I > did not know what to say. She seemed a bit upset and aware she had done > something wrong, but I don't think she realizes just what a big deal > this is to us. After 3 years of him having no animal products, he got > milk, eggs and gelatin all in one day!!! Luckily, my husband talked to > her about it as I was not up to it, was already emotiionally frazzled > and basicalyl stunned. > > DH and I are just not sure if we want to send him back. The diet is not > the only issue, though it is a major thing. If we do bring him tomorrow, > I will bring along the letter I got from one of you previously, with the > explicit instructions on what he can/can't have and make sure all staff > get a copy, including the office. I was a bit lax after talking with her > and thinking she understood that I didn't take those extra steps and > really paid for it. Thankfully, my son didn't have a major reaction. > He's never had eggs before today. > > Just wanted to vent to someone that would understand. > > Heather > http://unsheeply. <http://unsheeply.net> net > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Heather--SO glad your school sounds so receptive! I hope it works out for all of you. Sending in a box of treats is a great idea. We did this for our kids when they were in school and doing Feingold. They had a box of treats in the classroom, and things like white pizza (no tomato sauce allowed on Feingold in the beginning) and ice cream bars or cups (remember we weren't yet " no dairy " ) in the school freezer, along with several homemade cupcakes. They would thaw out the cupcakes, and microwave the pizza slices as needed. Hopefully, with a plan such as this in place, you will have a much better school year! Marilyn iris777888 <iris777888 Wed, Mar 24, 2010 12:52 pm Re: update on preschool, started today Thanks for the commiseration. I knew you guy would understand, which is unfortunate because it means you've had to deal with this stuff too. We both got an apology email from the teacher today, as well as an in person version when my DH dropped him off today. In general, she was very remorseful and quite concerned she had offended us or that we wouldn't bring him back. She also called the parents of the kid who had brought the birthday treats yesterday to see what they were made with so she could tell us. They told her it was a boxed mix, they added milk to it but no eggs and didn't know for sure what all was in it. How quickly I forget that most people don't do things the way we do. They had another birthday today, and since they hadn't had time to inform us in advance they planned a special treat for him (fruit kabob) so he had something to eat. She also mentioned we should have something to leave there that he can eat for future celebrations like this. I had brought this up on Monday, so glad she is open to the idea now. I also sent the letter today, with details on what he can/can't eat and offering to bring alternatives for anything, including for the entire class if needed, and acknowledging that know it is a pain to deviate from routine and will do what we can to make it as easy on them as possible. She seemed genuinely appreciative. We are still sending him for now, obviously need to give it a bit more time to evaluate. I think we were just upset yesterday not only about the food stuff, but also because this was his first time being left with strangers and taking steps towards independence. We're questioning whether this is a good move for our family from a much larger perspective than just whether or not the teachers can be trusted with his diet. It took him starting to make it seem real. Heather http://unsheeply.net , youhavehowmany wrote: > > Oh boy, do I understand! We homeschool, and probably would have anyway. But our dietary preferences made the decision for us. No one could be trusted to follow a thing we said! And at the time we finally pulled our kids out for good, we were just doing Feingold (basically no " artificials " ), a healthier version of the SAD diet--not even vegetarian. But still no one had a clue. I know I sound intolerant, but COME ON--by now most people should be a LOT more educated about the food that goes into their bodies. I'm sorry, but I see no excuse anymore. Nothing but sympathy here, Heather. Marilyn > > > > > > > Lorraine <ldemi > > Wed, Mar 24, 2010 1:35 am > RE: update on preschool, started today > > > > > Hi Heather, > That is just outrageous. I can understand that the teacher felt really > bad, but what if your son had an anaphylactic response? Or what if the > allowed foods were against your religion? What do you have to do to > have your wishes followed . no need to answer, I'm just agreeing with > your shock. :{ One thing that worked for us at our son's old preschool > is I made up a list of all of our special requests and situations - > vegetarian, sensitive to this food, juice only diluted, not too much > sugar, not to participate in this, etc. and gave it to the head of the > school and the classroom teacher and assistant teacher. It probably > helped a lot that I was there each day as a classroom volunteer in a > parent participation program, but word spread quickly amongst the other > teachers and a note went up on the kitchen fridge the next day about the > special dietary needs of our son. Now, that's not to say that they > didn't come really close to feeding him non-vegetarian things a couple > times, and rushed over to ask me if this or that is okay (even though > the note on the fridge would have helped them :-)). But, they never fed > him anything non-vegetarian. If I wasn't there to ask, and hadn't > already proven myself a rather . vocal . unbending . advocate for my son > - who knows what would have happened. > > I'd give that list you're taking to the school to everyone who could > possibly need it - maybe even make copies to bring with you so you can > give the school copies for anyone who might come into contact with your > child, even on the playground or at a field trip or anything - maybe in > faculty in-boxes. And by all means, if you don't feel comfortable, take > another day to decide and don't take him tomorrow. You can make that > decision. It's okay. I often try to remind myself - we're doing this > once, let's do it the way we'd like to. :-) > > Take care and so sorry you're having to deal with this! > Lorraine > > > On > Behalf Of iris777888 > Tuesday, March 23, 2010 2:52 PM > > update on preschool, started today > > > So we met the teacher last night, started preschool today. We told her > we are vegan and that he's allergic to dairy and talked to her about his > expressive language delay, how he won't be able to say what he can/can't > have or ask if something is OK for him to eat. > > We probably should have emphasized it more, but the teacher did tell us > that they rarely have anything but fruits and veg, never meat, > occasionally popcorn, and declined my offer to bring in a snack he could > have because the kids feed themselves the snacks. They have cut out > wheat snacks already for a kid in the class that can't have wheat and it > would be no problem to cut dairy too. When we left him this morning, > they had set out carrots and oranges. > > When we came to check on him just over half way through the morning, she > told us he'd been doing good, just was having trouble with things that > are always issues with new kids, e.g. only doing one activity at a time, > putting them away, etc. Also said he'd had a snack and birthday treat - > carrots, oranges, yogurt and pumpkin cupcakes. WHAT????? > > She said that she hadn't gotten a chance to tell the other teacher yet, > and didn't think about the fact that yogurt had milk in it. The cupcake, > she didn't know exactly what it had in it, but knew it didn't have > frosting, just coolwhip topping (like that made it OK). I was stunned. I > did not know what to say. She seemed a bit upset and aware she had done > something wrong, but I don't think she realizes just what a big deal > this is to us. After 3 years of him having no animal products, he got > milk, eggs and gelatin all in one day!!! Luckily, my husband talked to > her about it as I was not up to it, was already emotiionally frazzled > and basicalyl stunned. > > DH and I are just not sure if we want to send him back. The diet is not > the only issue, though it is a major thing. If we do bring him tomorrow, > I will bring along the letter I got from one of you previously, with the > explicit instructions on what he can/can't have and make sure all staff > get a copy, including the office. I was a bit lax after talking with her > and thinking she understood that I didn't take those extra steps and > really paid for it. Thankfully, my son didn't have a major reaction. > He's never had eggs before today. > > Just wanted to vent to someone that would understand. > > Heather > http://unsheeply. <http://unsheeply.net> net > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 The battle never ends. My first grader is old enough to know what she will eat and won't and is very adamant about it. Her teacher is very nice and seems sometimes to understand, yet issues still arise. The other day they were doing some sensory thing and the kids had to feel stuff hidden in a bag and figure out what it was. Well, imagine her disgust when she found out one of the things that she unknowingly gave a good feel was meat. Why would my vegetarian daughter want to touch a ground up dead animal? I guess he just was unable to carry the reasoning over. sigh Jill ________________________________ iris777888 <iris777888 Wed, March 24, 2010 11:52:06 AM Re: update on preschool, started today  Thanks for the commiseration. I knew you guy would understand, which is unfortunate because it means you've had to deal with this stuff too. We both got an apology email from the teacher today, as well as an in person version when my DH dropped him off today. In general, she was very remorseful and quite concerned she had offended us or that we wouldn't bring him back. She also called the parents of the kid who had brought the birthday treats yesterday to see what they were made with so she could tell us. They told her it was a boxed mix, they added milk to it but no eggs and didn't know for sure what all was in it. How quickly I forget that most people don't do things the way we do. They had another birthday today, and since they hadn't had time to inform us in advance they planned a special treat for him (fruit kabob) so he had something to eat. She also mentioned we should have something to leave there that he can eat for future celebrations like this. I had brought this up on Monday, so glad she is open to the idea now. I also sent the letter today, with details on what he can/can't eat and offering to bring alternatives for anything, including for the entire class if needed, and acknowledging that know it is a pain to deviate from routine and will do what we can to make it as easy on them as possible. She seemed genuinely appreciative. We are still sending him for now, obviously need to give it a bit more time to evaluate. I think we were just upset yesterday not only about the food stuff, but also because this was his first time being left with strangers and taking steps towards independence. We're questioning whether this is a good move for our family from a much larger perspective than just whether or not the teachers can be trusted with his diet. It took him starting to make it seem real. Heather http://unsheeply. net @gro ups.com, youhavehowmany@ ... wrote: > > Oh boy, do I understand! We homeschool, and probably would have anyway. But our dietary preferences made the decision for us. No one could be trusted to follow a thing we said! And at the time we finally pulled our kids out for good, we were just doing Feingold (basically no " artificials " ), a healthier version of the SAD diet--not even vegetarian. But still no one had a clue. I know I sound intolerant, but COME ON--by now most people should be a LOT more educated about the food that goes into their bodies. I'm sorry, but I see no excuse anymore. Nothing but sympathy here, Heather. Marilyn > > > > > > > Lorraine <ldemi > @gro ups.com > Wed, Mar 24, 2010 1:35 am > RE: update on preschool, started today > > > > > Hi Heather, > That is just outrageous. I can understand that the teacher felt really > bad, but what if your son had an anaphylactic response? Or what if the > allowed foods were against your religion? What do you have to do to > have your wishes followed . no need to answer, I'm just agreeing with > your shock. :{ One thing that worked for us at our son's old preschool > is I made up a list of all of our special requests and situations - > vegetarian, sensitive to this food, juice only diluted, not too much > sugar, not to participate in this, etc. and gave it to the head of the > school and the classroom teacher and assistant teacher. It probably > helped a lot that I was there each day as a classroom volunteer in a > parent participation program, but word spread quickly amongst the other > teachers and a note went up on the kitchen fridge the next day about the > special dietary needs of our son. Now, that's not to say that they > didn't come really close to feeding him non-vegetarian things a couple > times, and rushed over to ask me if this or that is okay (even though > the note on the fridge would have helped them :-)). But, they never fed > him anything non-vegetarian. If I wasn't there to ask, and hadn't > already proven myself a rather . vocal . unbending . advocate for my son > - who knows what would have happened. > > I'd give that list you're taking to the school to everyone who could > possibly need it - maybe even make copies to bring with you so you can > give the school copies for anyone who might come into contact with your > child, even on the playground or at a field trip or anything - maybe in > faculty in-boxes. And by all means, if you don't feel comfortable, take > another day to decide and don't take him tomorrow. You can make that > decision. It's okay. I often try to remind myself - we're doing this > once, let's do it the way we'd like to. :-) > > Take care and so sorry you're having to deal with this! > Lorraine > > > @gro ups.com [@gro ups.com] On > Behalf Of iris777888 > Tuesday, March 23, 2010 2:52 PM > @gro ups.com > update on preschool, started today > > > So we met the teacher last night, started preschool today. We told her > we are vegan and that he's allergic to dairy and talked to her about his > expressive language delay, how he won't be able to say what he can/can't > have or ask if something is OK for him to eat. > > We probably should have emphasized it more, but the teacher did tell us > that they rarely have anything but fruits and veg, never meat, > occasionally popcorn, and declined my offer to bring in a snack he could > have because the kids feed themselves the snacks. They have cut out > wheat snacks already for a kid in the class that can't have wheat and it > would be no problem to cut dairy too. When we left him this morning, > they had set out carrots and oranges. > > When we came to check on him just over half way through the morning, she > told us he'd been doing good, just was having trouble with things that > are always issues with new kids, e.g. only doing one activity at a time, > putting them away, etc. Also said he'd had a snack and birthday treat - > carrots, oranges, yogurt and pumpkin cupcakes. WHAT????? > > She said that she hadn't gotten a chance to tell the other teacher yet, > and didn't think about the fact that yogurt had milk in it. The cupcake, > she didn't know exactly what it had in it, but knew it didn't have > frosting, just coolwhip topping (like that made it OK). I was stunned. I > did not know what to say. She seemed a bit upset and aware she had done > something wrong, but I don't think she realizes just what a big deal > this is to us. After 3 years of him having no animal products, he got > milk, eggs and gelatin all in one day!!! Luckily, my husband talked to > her about it as I was not up to it, was already emotiionally frazzled > and basicalyl stunned. > > DH and I are just not sure if we want to send him back. The diet is not > the only issue, though it is a major thing. If we do bring him tomorrow, > I will bring along the letter I got from one of you previously, with the > explicit instructions on what he can/can't have and make sure all staff > get a copy, including the office. I was a bit lax after talking with her > and thinking she understood that I didn't take those extra steps and > really paid for it. Thankfully, my son didn't have a major reaction. > He's never had eggs before today. > > Just wanted to vent to someone that would understand. > > Heather > http://unsheeply. <http://unsheeply. net> net > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Jill, Wow! That one is way out of line. I hope you discussed it with the teacher. That's terrible. I remember doing that exercise as a child, in the second grade. I was not a vegetarian at the time (had never even heard of the word), but I have always been compassionate toward animals and I believe was always on a journey to vegan living. Anyway, we put our hand in the bag to feel something weird. Turned out to be a beaver tail. No kidding. The teacher was a hunter, killed the beaver and put the tail in a bag for us to guess what it was. So sick. I think that if you have your children in a public school system of any sorts (even private schools) you have to expect that we are going to have such battles (whether on a small or large scale). The only sure way around it is homeschooling, which is not an option everyone can or wants to make. I think it is horrible we have to deal with such things and hopefully one day people will be a little more compassionate toward animals so that future vegetarian kids/families will not have to deal with such issues. Keep in mind parents, that we are paving the way for the next batch of vegetarian kids who will go through schools. Hopefully each teacher we educate will be more aware for the next veg kid in their classroom! Jacqueline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Putting dead animals in a bag for kids to feel is SICK, whether you're vegetarian or not! Who would DO that? In general, we have found Montessori and Waldorf schools to be a lot more compassionate, overall, even though we choose to homeschool and don't have money to send our kids to private school at this point. But that's one option worth exploring. Marilyn Jacqueline Bodnar <jb Wed, Mar 24, 2010 3:40 pm RE: Re: update on preschool, started today Jill, Wow! That one is way out of line. I hope you discussed it with the teacher. That's terrible. I remember doing that exercise as a child, in the second grade. I was not a vegetarian at the time (had never even heard of the word), but I have always been compassionate toward animals and I believe was always on a journey to vegan living. Anyway, we put our hand in the bag to feel something weird. Turned out to be a beaver tail. No kidding. The teacher was a hunter, killed the beaver and put the tail in a bag for us to guess what it was. So sick. I think that if you have your children in a public school system of any sorts (even private schools) you have to expect that we are going to have such battles (whether on a small or large scale). The only sure way around it is homeschooling, which is not an option everyone can or wants to make. I think it is horrible we have to deal with such things and hopefully one day people will be a little more compassionate toward animals so that future vegetarian kids/families will not have to deal with such issues. Keep in mind parents, that we are paving the way for the next batch of vegetarian kids who will go through schools. Hopefully each teacher we educate will be more aware for the next veg kid in their classroom! Jacqueline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Heather, I've been meaning to write all week and finally am getting to it! I told my husband about your preschool and we were shocked and angry for you! My initial reaction would be to take my child out of a school that can " talk the talk " but not " walk the walk " . Especially with allergies, your kid's health could have been on the line due to a communication breakdown on the school's part. Allergic reactions are life or death these days. There's no excuse for missing the boat on that! On the one hand, it is so disrespectful that your wishes were not followed through, especially on something as important as a your child's well being. On the other hand, this could be a real learning experience for all the teachers at that school, especially if you and your child find other redeeming qualities about the school and staff. I wish you luck with the preschool decisions and hope that this was only a one time bad experience. We have lucked out in finding a school that always tries to ask us or tell us if they are having extra food so we can try to provide something vegan. We have a snack pack of oreo type cookie in her backpack for " emergency " use if a parent brings in cupcakes or something for birthday. But still, we know the onus is always on us to keep reminding the teachers to check in with us. But we just recently found out our preschool is doing a classroom chick project. A local CSA loans chicks out by the foursome for people/programs to raise until the chicks are ready to be outdoors and then the farm takes them back to use them for eggs and they " free range " to eat the bugs instead of using pesticides. Although it's not a chick-hatching program, raising the chicks will take to the end of this school year. My husband and I are at a loss how to handle it because we don't want our daughter secluded (punished) when they take care of the chicks. And since they'll be in the classroom, we can't just skip school. We think we are going to let her participate but have discussions with her about it and take her to the CSA farm to visit the chickens there as well as the Farm Sanctuary (Poplar Spring) so that we can discuss the differences in how the chickens live. The differences in how the chickens are treated and the differences in the focus of the two farms. We're not exactly satisfied with this but we're not sure how else to handle it. And how much can a 3 and a half year old grasp of the complexities in this issue? Maybe more than we think so we'd rather not have her learn that animals are for our use and when we're through, we give them to someone else who will use them for their needs. All these school things are challenging and somedays I wonder if maybe homeschooling is the way to go... Thanks ahead Jacquelyn for the brochure for schools! That is AWESOME and I believe it will get lots of use! I love this group because you all have brilliant ideas and make me feel less alone in all these tough social situations. Huyen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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