Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 Ranting is perfectly fine- and in this case, enjoyed. I've only been veggie for 3 years and my mom's excuse for using mayo or butter or anythig like that is " oh, I just didn't think about it " . I was hoping it would change, but I see that it probably won't. Oh well. I arm myself with tons of research and pray for the easiest time ) Best of luck, an enjoy your eggplant Parmesan for dinner instead of baby cow ) Cassie " life's a garden, dig it! " Sent from my iPhone On May 10, 2010, at 3:34 PM, Amelia Golden <agolden wrote: I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of my adult life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my family is freaking out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, they are making a big deal about feeding me and them at family functions. First of all, I have never asked them to make anything special. My kids barely eat when they are at my parents' house (too excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. My mom have had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent club because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do when they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that it broke her heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't give it to them because it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just kind of roll my eyes. They are starting to parrot back that we don't eat animals and I work hard at helping them associate the slab o'meat on the table with the animal sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and they may be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and there was a hunk of cow being carved up and I told them how it was a cow and it said moo - this was when they were younger - and they went up to the carver and pointed to it and started mooing - I was so proud ). So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in from an Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says he doesn't know how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After 20 years of practice? In a large urban centre where vegetarians are abundant and all restaurants have a myriad of meat free options (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement which is making meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to read a menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my clan but, seriously?!?! Why is this so freaking hard for them! No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. Thanks Amelia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 Out of curiosity, how many grandchildren do your parents have? One of the things I noticed when I had children (my parents had 7 grandchildren in 2 years and I had 3 of them!) was that whenever I did something different from how my parents raised me, my mother took it as a slap in the face to her brand of child-rearing. Anything I did that was in opposition to how she did it felt like a judgment to her. Our big arguments when my kids were toddlers were about juice and fast food. I was against both. Once when I was out of town, she took my kids to mcdonalds and got them burgers. she could NOT figure out why I was so angry. once I explained my reasons, she said, " but your reasons are stupid. " good times. it took her a very long time to accept, after lots of talking, that just because i'm doing something different doesn't mean i'm judging her, just that i'm making different choices, that we know more about nutrition now than we did then, blah blah blah. it's better now. i've loosed up about sweets and treats around grandparents - even let them have soda occasionally (i know - wild! - they're 7.5 now) and they've learned to ask us before they come over about food choices and when we are at restaurants they no longer even get involved in the conversation. i think watching children become parents is a hard thing for some, and it's another layer of letting go of control. i think parents know that we still want their approval and by disapproving, they're exerting control. hth, stephanie On May 10, 2010, at 3:34 PM, Amelia Golden wrote: > I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of my adult life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my family is freaking out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, they are making a big deal about feeding me and them at family functions. First of all, I have never asked them to make anything special. My kids barely eat when they are at my parents' house (too excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. My mom have had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent club because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do when they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that it broke her heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't give it to them because it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just kind of roll my eyes. They are starting to parrot back that we don't eat animals and I work hard at helping them associate the slab o'meat on the table with the animal > sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and they may be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and there was a hunk of cow being carved up and I told them how it was a cow and it said moo - this was when they were younger - and they went up to the carver and pointed to it and started mooing - I was so proud ). > > So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in from an Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says he doesn't know how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After 20 years of practice? In a large urban centre where vegetarians are abundant and all restaurants have a myriad of meat free options (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement which is making meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to read a menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? > > Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my clan but, seriously?!?! Why is this so freaking hard for them! > > No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. > Thanks > Amelia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 Funny you say that, I am having eggplant parmesan for dinner ________________________________ Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet " " Mon, May 10, 2010 3:53:42 PM Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant Ranting is perfectly fine- and in this case, enjoyed. I've only been veggie for 3 years and my mom's excuse for using mayo or butter or anythig like that is " oh, I just didn't think about it " . I was hoping it would change, but I see that it probably won't. Oh well. I arm myself with tons of research and pray for the easiest time ) Best of luck, an enjoy your eggplant Parmesan for dinner instead of baby cow ) Cassie " life's a garden, dig it! " Sent from my iPhone On May 10, 2010, at 3:34 PM, Amelia Golden <agolden (AT) rogers (DOT) com> wrote: I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of my adult life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my family is freaking out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, they are making a big deal about feeding me and them at family functions. First of all, I have never asked them to make anything special. My kids barely eat when they are at my parents' house (too excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. My mom have had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent club because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do when they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that it broke her heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't give it to them because it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just kind of roll my eyes. They are starting to parrot back that we don't eat animals and I work hard at helping them associate the slab o'meat on the table with the animal sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and they may be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and there was a hunk of cow being carved up and I told them how it was a cow and it said moo - this was when they were younger - and they went up to the carver and pointed to it and started mooing - I was so proud ). So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in from an Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says he doesn't know how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After 20 years of practice? In a large urban centre where vegetarians are abundant and all restaurants have a myriad of meat free options (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement which is making meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to read a menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my clan but, seriously?!? ! Why is this so freaking hard for them! No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. Thanks Amelia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 Amelia, I know you didn't need a response, but I wanted to respond anyway. I'm sorry that after so long your family has still not learned to be respectful of your dietary and lifestyle choices. Imagine for a moment if you took out the vegetarianism and inserted instead something like gluten or lactose intolerance, or a food allergy of some sort. I wonder if they would still be so callous to you. Stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing. It's just different than what they did, so it makes them feel uncomfortable and question it. But it's no excuse for being disrespectful about it. I think at some point, when you are feeling brave enough, you should tell them what you just told us. Let them know how it makes you feel that they act so callous, question your lifestyle and don't support you. Perhaps they have never realized that they are doing this and if you brought it to their attention it may cease. Best of luck! I hope it works out well. You are a doing an awesome job for the animals, your health and the planet! Jacqueline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 I do think my sister did me in when she was having trouble getting pregnant and decided to start eating meat after about 12 years as a vegetarian. Now my parents see that as an option but for me it is an ethical choice and it really isn't an option. I've given up on insisting on free range organic eggs (what they do to those poor chickens!!), ice cream (they only get it at my parents) and cookies (now I even give them some). I also do watered down juice at the grandparents as a treat. As far as I know, they don't get it anywhere else. One of my sons could take or leave sweets but the other is like a lion eating a gazelle - I wouldn't even get near his mouth while he is still licking his paws. I totally agree with you about parents letting go. In fact, my mother has often told me that being a parent is basically an ongoing process of letting go. It did help that I gave birth at 40 weeks to a 7 pounder and a 6pound 11 ouncer while on a vegan diet. But every time they yawn she worries that they are anemic. Poor parents. My boys will probably be cattle ranchers. Amelia ________________________________ Stephanie <larream Mon, May 10, 2010 4:05:53 PM Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant Out of curiosity, how many grandchildren do your parents have? One of the things I noticed when I had children (my parents had 7 grandchildren in 2 years and I had 3 of them!) was that whenever I did something different from how my parents raised me, my mother took it as a slap in the face to her brand of child-rearing. Anything I did that was in opposition to how she did it felt like a judgment to her. Our big arguments when my kids were toddlers were about juice and fast food. I was against both. Once when I was out of town, she took my kids to mcdonalds and got them burgers. she could NOT figure out why I was so angry. once I explained my reasons, she said, " but your reasons are stupid. " good times. it took her a very long time to accept, after lots of talking, that just because i'm doing something different doesn't mean i'm judging her, just that i'm making different choices, that we know more about nutrition now than we did then, blah blah blah. it's better now. i've loosed up about sweets and treats around grandparents - even let them have soda occasionally (i know - wild! - they're 7.5 now) and they've learned to ask us before they come over about food choices and when we are at restaurants they no longer even get involved in the conversation. i think watching children become parents is a hard thing for some, and it's another layer of letting go of control. i think parents know that we still want their approval and by disapproving, they're exerting control. hth, stephanie On May 10, 2010, at 3:34 PM, Amelia Golden wrote: > I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of my adult life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my family is freaking out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, they are making a big deal about feeding me and them at family functions. First of all, I have never asked them to make anything special. My kids barely eat when they are at my parents' house (too excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. My mom have had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent club because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do when they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that it broke her heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't give it to them because it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just kind of roll my eyes. They are starting to parrot back that we don't eat animals and I work hard at helping them associate the slab o'meat on the table with the animal > sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and they may be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and there was a hunk of cow being carved up and I told them how it was a cow and it said moo - this was when they were younger - and they went up to the carver and pointed to it and started mooing - I was so proud ). > > So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in from an Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says he doesn't know how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After 20 years of practice? In a large urban centre where vegetarians are abundant and all restaurants have a myriad of meat free options (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement which is making meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to read a menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? > > Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my clan but, seriously?!? ! Why is this so freaking hard for them! > > No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. > Thanks > Amelia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 Amelia! How frustrating... and Stephanie, your story is similar to mine. My Mum really does take offence to me parenting differently to her. My daughter is almost 11 now and happily states that she doesn't eat animals because she loves all living things. However when she was younger my mother and my grandmother were all about her, " missing out " on junk food. And then " missing out " on a healthy diet. That made me mad. Funny that I had been vegetarian for 5 years before she was born and they never hassled me about it. But to " raise that poor child like that " , GRRR. All I can say is that now that she is an extremely clever, thoughtful and healthy girl that it just shows them.....she hasn't missed out she has gained so much! Hang in there xx PS. My daughter is not only vegetarian, but also sugar free, organic, junk food free, drug free (one paracetamol in her life- we use herbal medicines and homeopathics). ANd she glows On 11/05/2010, at 6:05 AM, Stephanie wrote: > Out of curiosity, how many grandchildren do your parents have? > One of the things I noticed when I had children (my parents had 7 > grandchildren in 2 years and I had 3 of them!) was that whenever I > did something different from how my parents raised me, my mother > took it as a slap in the face to her brand of child-rearing. > Anything I did that was in opposition to how she did it felt like a > judgment to her. Our big arguments when my kids were toddlers were > about juice and fast food. I was against both. Once when I was out > of town, she took my kids to mcdonalds and got them burgers. she > could NOT figure out why I was so angry. once I explained my > reasons, she said, " but your reasons are stupid. " > good times. > it took her a very long time to accept, after lots of talking, that > just because i'm doing something different doesn't mean i'm judging > her, just that i'm making different choices, that we know more > about nutrition now than we did then, blah blah blah. > > it's better now. > i've loosed up about sweets and treats around grandparents - even > let them have soda occasionally (i know - wild! - they're 7.5 now) > and they've learned to ask us before they come over about food > choices and when we are at restaurants they no longer even get > involved in the conversation. > > i think watching children become parents is a hard thing for some, > and it's another layer of letting go of control. i think parents > know that we still want their approval and by disapproving, they're > exerting control. > > hth, > stephanie > On May 10, 2010, at 3:34 PM, Amelia Golden wrote: > > > I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of > my adult life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my > family is freaking out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, > they are making a big deal about feeding me and them at family > functions. First of all, I have never asked them to make anything > special. My kids barely eat when they are at my parents' house (too > excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. My mom have > had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent club > because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do > when they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that > it broke her heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't > give it to them because it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just > kind of roll my eyes. They are starting to parrot back that we > don't eat animals and I work hard at helping them associate the > slab o'meat on the table with the animal > > sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and > they may be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and > there was a hunk of cow being carved up and I told them how it was > a cow and it said moo - this was when they were younger - and they > went up to the carver and pointed to it and started mooing - I was > so proud ). > > > > So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in > from an Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says > he doesn't know how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After > 20 years of practice? In a large urban centre where vegetarians are > abundant and all restaurants have a myriad of meat free options > (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement which is making > meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to read a > menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? > > > > Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my > clan but, seriously?!?! Why is this so freaking hard for them! > > > > No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. > > Thanks > > Amelia > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 Do u have a good reciepe for eggplant parmasean? Sent from my iPhone On May 10, 2010, at 1:11 PM, Amelia Golden <agolden wrote: Funny you say that, I am having eggplant parmesan for dinner ________________________________ Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet " " Mon, May 10, 2010 3:53:42 PM Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant Ranting is perfectly fine- and in this case, enjoyed. I've only been veggie for 3 years and my mom's excuse for using mayo or butter or anythig like that is " oh, I just didn't think about it " . I was hoping it would change, but I see that it probably won't. Oh well. I arm myself with tons of research and pray for the easiest time ) Best of luck, an enjoy your eggplant Parmesan for dinner instead of baby cow ) Cassie " life's a garden, dig it! " Sent from my iPhone On May 10, 2010, at 3:34 PM, Amelia Golden <agolden (AT) rogers (DOT) com> wrote: I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of my adult life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my family is freaking out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, they are making a big deal about feeding me and them at family functions. First of all, I have never asked them to make anything special. My kids barely eat when they are at my parents' house (too excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. My mom have had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent club because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do when they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that it broke her heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't give it to them because it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just kind of roll my eyes. They are starting to parrot back that we don't eat animals and I work hard at helping them associate the slab o'meat on the table with the animal sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and they may be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and there was a hunk of cow being carved up and I told them how it was a cow and it said moo - this was when they were younger - and they went up to the carver and pointed to it and started mooing - I was so proud ). So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in from an Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says he doesn't know how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After 20 years of practice? In a large urban centre where vegetarians are abundant and all restaurants have a myriad of meat free options (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement which is making meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to read a menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my clan but, seriously?!? ! Why is this so freaking hard for them! No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. Thanks Amelia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 Sorry, I bought it ready made. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry Alicia <alajurado Mon, 10 May 2010 15:12:17 < > Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant Do u have a good reciepe for eggplant parmasean? Sent from my iPhone On May 10, 2010, at 1:11 PM, Amelia Golden <agolden wrote: Funny you say that, I am having eggplant parmesan for dinner ________________________________ Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet " " Mon, May 10, 2010 3:53:42 PM Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant Ranting is perfectly fine- and in this case, enjoyed. I've only been veggie for 3 years and my mom's excuse for using mayo or butter or anythig like that is " oh, I just didn't think about it " . I was hoping it would change, but I see that it probably won't. Oh well. I arm myself with tons of research and pray for the easiest time ) Best of luck, an enjoy your eggplant Parmesan for dinner instead of baby cow ) Cassie " life's a garden, dig it! " Sent from my iPhone On May 10, 2010, at 3:34 PM, Amelia Golden <agolden (AT) rogers (DOT) com> wrote: I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of my adult life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my family is freaking out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, they are making a big deal about feeding me and them at family functions. First of all, I have never asked them to make anything special. My kids barely eat when they are at my parents' house (too excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. My mom have had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent club because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do when they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that it broke her heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't give it to them because it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just kind of roll my eyes. They are starting to parrot back that we don't eat animals and I work hard at helping them associate the slab o'meat on the table with the animal sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and they may be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and there was a hunk of cow being carved up and I told them how it was a cow and it said moo - this was when they were younger - and they went up to the carver and pointed to it and started mooing - I was so proud ). So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in from an Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says he doesn't know how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After 20 years of practice? In a large urban centre where vegetarians are abundant and all restaurants have a myriad of meat free options (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement which is making meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to read a menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my clan but, seriously?!? ! Why is this so freaking hard for them! No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. Thanks Amelia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 Oh, they know what they are doing. And it was always fine when it was just me but now it is something that I'm " inflicting " on my kids. I've told them that it is my values and we always raise our children according to our values and, at some point, they make their own choices but at nearly 3 years old, they are not quite at that point yet. It takes no bravery to talk to my parents. We are very close. I honestly think for my Mom it is grandmother guilt that she can't make all of her special Jewish recipes for the boys. My Dad?? Well I guess he has forgotten what a vegetable is. Amelia Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry " Jacqueline Bodnar " <jb Mon, 10 May 2010 13:37:08 RE: Why is this so difficult?-rant Amelia, I know you didn't need a response, but I wanted to respond anyway. I'm sorry that after so long your family has still not learned to be respectful of your dietary and lifestyle choices. Imagine for a moment if you took out the vegetarianism and inserted instead something like gluten or lactose intolerance, or a food allergy of some sort. I wonder if they would still be so callous to you. Stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing. It's just different than what they did, so it makes them feel uncomfortable and question it. But it's no excuse for being disrespectful about it. I think at some point, when you are feeling brave enough, you should tell them what you just told us. Let them know how it makes you feel that they act so callous, question your lifestyle and don't support you. Perhaps they have never realized that they are doing this and if you brought it to their attention it may cease. Best of luck! I hope it works out well. You are a doing an awesome job for the animals, your health and the planet! Jacqueline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 I always find the " inflicting " argument ridiculous, because those very same people inflicted many things on their kids. We all do. The biggest thing of all is religion, but most people have no objection to that! In fact, they object if you don't (we're atheist, so we know how that goes). We inflict morals on them - be kind, don't take from others, etc. We inflict education on them. I don't know about your kids, but mine would much rather sit around doing what they want then going to school, but we " inflict " that on them. As for the Jewish recipes, those can be adapted. There are plenty of recipes for vegetarian or vegan versions. I realize the point is that she wants to make the recipes the way she always did, but there seems to be a middle ground here if she is willing to tweak them a bit. Good luck. Karen agolden Tuesday, May 11, 2010 9:18 AM Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant Oh, they know what they are doing. And it was always fine when it was just me but now it is something that I'm " inflicting " on my kids. I've told them that it is my values and we always raise our children according to our values and, at some point, they make their own choices but at nearly 3 years old, they are not quite at that point yet. It takes no bravery to talk to my parents. We are very close. I honestly think for my Mom it is grandmother guilt that she can't make all of her special Jewish recipes for the boys. My Dad?? Well I guess he has forgotten what a vegetable is. Amelia Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry " Jacqueline Bodnar " <jb Mon, 10 May 2010 13:37:08 RE: Why is this so difficult?-rant Amelia, I know you didn't need a response, but I wanted to respond anyway. I'm sorry that after so long your family has still not learned to be respectful of your dietary and lifestyle choices. Imagine for a moment if you took out the vegetarianism and inserted instead something like gluten or lactose intolerance, or a food allergy of some sort. I wonder if they would still be so callous to you. Stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing. It's just different than what they did, so it makes them feel uncomfortable and question it. But it's no excuse for being disrespectful about it. I think at some point, when you are feeling brave enough, you should tell them what you just told us. Let them know how it makes you feel that they act so callous, question your lifestyle and don't support you. Perhaps they have never realized that they are doing this and if you brought it to their attention it may cease. Best of luck! I hope it works out well. You are a doing an awesome job for the animals, your health and the planet! Jacqueline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 We're making a trip to Madison this weekend for a veggie dinner - it's about two hours away so we usually only make it once or twice a year. Apparently my stepdad commented to my mom something about how we had to go so we could convince our kids that eating meat is bad. (this said sarcastically) This is a man who raised his kids hunting throughout the entire year - talk about teaching your kids what to believe is right and wrong. ________________________________ Karen Detling <kdetling Tue, May 11, 2010 8:33:08 AM Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant  I always find the " inflicting " argument ridiculous, because those very same people inflicted many things on their kids. We all do. The biggest thing of all is religion, but most people have no objection to that! In fact, they object if you don't (we're atheist, so we know how that goes). We inflict morals on them - be kind, don't take from others, etc. We inflict education on them. I don't know about your kids, but mine would much rather sit around doing what they want then going to school, but we " inflict " that on them. As for the Jewish recipes, those can be adapted. There are plenty of recipes for vegetarian or vegan versions. I realize the point is that she wants to make the recipes the way she always did, but there seems to be a middle ground here if she is willing to tweak them a bit. Good luck. Karen agolden (AT) rogers (DOT) com Tuesday, May 11, 2010 9:18 AM @gro ups.com Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant Oh, they know what they are doing. And it was always fine when it was just me but now it is something that I'm " inflicting " on my kids. I've told them that it is my values and we always raise our children according to our values and, at some point, they make their own choices but at nearly 3 years old, they are not quite at that point yet. It takes no bravery to talk to my parents. We are very close. I honestly think for my Mom it is grandmother guilt that she can't make all of her special Jewish recipes for the boys. My Dad?? Well I guess he has forgotten what a vegetable is. Amelia Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry " Jacqueline Bodnar " <jb@jacquelinebodnar .com> Mon, 10 May 2010 13:37:08 <@gro ups.com> RE: Why is this so difficult?-rant Amelia, I know you didn't need a response, but I wanted to respond anyway. I'm sorry that after so long your family has still not learned to be respectful of your dietary and lifestyle choices. Imagine for a moment if you took out the vegetarianism and inserted instead something like gluten or lactose intolerance, or a food allergy of some sort. I wonder if they would still be so callous to you. Stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing. It's just different than what they did, so it makes them feel uncomfortable and question it. But it's no excuse for being disrespectful about it. I think at some point, when you are feeling brave enough, you should tell them what you just told us. Let them know how it makes you feel that they act so callous, question your lifestyle and don't support you. Perhaps they have never realized that they are doing this and if you brought it to their attention it may cease. Best of luck! I hope it works out well. You are a doing an awesome job for the animals, your health and the planet! Jacqueline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2010 Report Share Posted May 12, 2010 Haha to your kids growing up cattle ranchers. Im pretty sure my son will rebel by becoming the CEO of McDonalds while also running a coal mine! In seriousness thuogh im sorry your having trouble. Im starting to get a few little hassles not about diet, but about animal ethics. My parents want to take my son to a zoo, and im not so cool with that. They thing im being extreme, and dad still thinks that being vegan is being a radical, but they accept it and allow me to raise my son how i choose. My mum and dad were once eating meat and my son asked them what it was, and mum said its lamb, I was in the kitchen waiting for a smart comment about how im a radical so he couldn't eat it, but mum just said 'you don't eat this though, because is against your religion', and i thought that was a pretty good way to explain it. Anyway i think it would be worth sitting down with your parents and saying, look this is what i stongly believe in (maybe even take some propaganda?) It hurts me that you are being totally disrespectful and belittilling my mothering. How would you have felt if someone made reference to you being a bad mother? I think the sugar thing is a losing battle. Mum makes muffins with my son when we visit. They are gluten free and vegan so i can eat them, but my god they are FULL of sugar. I think, well thats their thing that they love to do together and if thats the worst thing then thats ok! I really think that what it comes down to is respect. I often let mum know that i appreciated how i was raised, such as always having fresh food and not much jumk food or soda etc, and we work on making vegan versions of my childhood favorites, so i think while your parenting differs to your mums, it would be good to let her know that you don't think her parenting was bad. They clearly did a good job to raise children that were ethical vegetarians! Anyway i have waffled, but best of luck. I think honesty about your feelings on the matter would be helpful. Ange On Tue, May 11, 2010 at 11:48 PM, Jillene Wenzel <jillben2008wrote: > > > We're making a trip to Madison this weekend for a veggie dinner - it's > about two hours away so we usually only make it once or twice a year. > Apparently my stepdad commented to my mom something about how we had to go > so we could convince our kids that eating meat is bad. (this said > sarcastically) > This is a man who raised his kids hunting throughout the entire year - > talk about teaching your kids what to believe is right and wrong. > > ________________________________ > Karen Detling <kdetling <kdetling%40comcast.net>> > <%40> > Tue, May 11, 2010 8:33:08 AM > > Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant > > > I always find the " inflicting " argument ridiculous, because those very same > people inflicted many things on their kids. We all do. The biggest thing of > all is religion, but most people have no objection to that! In fact, they > object if you don't (we're atheist, so we know how that goes). We inflict > morals on them - be kind, don't take from others, etc. We inflict education > on them. I don't know about your kids, but mine would much rather sit around > doing what they want then going to school, but we " inflict " that on them. > > As for the Jewish recipes, those can be adapted. There are plenty of > recipes for vegetarian or vegan versions. I realize the point is that she > wants to make the recipes the way she always did, but there seems to be a > middle ground here if she is willing to tweak them a bit. > > Good luck. > > Karen > > agolden (AT) rogers (DOT) com > Tuesday, May 11, 2010 9:18 AM > @gro ups.com > Re: Why is this so difficult?-rant > > Oh, they know what they are doing. And it was always fine when it was just > me but now it is something that I'm " inflicting " on my kids. I've told them > that it is my values and we always raise our children according to our > values and, at some point, they make their own choices but at nearly 3 years > old, they are not quite at that point yet. It takes no bravery to talk to my > parents. We are very close. I honestly think for my Mom it is grandmother > guilt that she can't make all of her special Jewish recipes for the boys. My > Dad?? Well I guess he has forgotten what a vegetable is. > Amelia > Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry > > > " Jacqueline Bodnar " <jb@jacquelinebodnar .com> > Mon, 10 May 2010 13:37:08 > <@gro ups.com> > RE: Why is this so difficult?-rant > > Amelia, > > I know you didn't need a response, but I wanted to respond anyway. I'm > sorry that after so long your family has still not learned to be > respectful of your dietary and lifestyle choices. Imagine for a moment > if you took out the vegetarianism and inserted instead something like > gluten or lactose intolerance, or a food allergy of some sort. I wonder > if they would still be so callous to you. > > Stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing. It's just different > than what they did, so it makes them feel uncomfortable and question it. > But it's no excuse for being disrespectful about it. I think at some > point, when you are feeling brave enough, you should tell them what you > just told us. Let them know how it makes you feel that they act so > callous, question your lifestyle and don't support you. Perhaps they > have never realized that they are doing this and if you brought it to > their attention it may cease. > > Best of luck! I hope it works out well. You are a doing an awesome job > for the animals, your health and the planet! > > Jacqueline > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2010 Report Share Posted May 12, 2010 Thanks for the rant! It's always nice to know we are not alone in dealing with family in regards to our lifestyle choices! With us it's not my parents, it's my sister-in-law. I enjoyed your rant, so thanks! Elizabeth P.S. I've been veg for 17 years and my Dad would have done the same thing! He just wants to make sure I get what I want. Might be the same for your dad. On Mon, May 10, 2010 at 2:34 PM, Amelia Golden <agolden wrote: > > > I have been a vegetarian for about 20 years. Pretty much all of my adult > life. Now that I have kids (nearly 3 year old twins) my family is freaking > out about them being vegetarians. Not only that, they are making a big deal > about feeding me and them at family functions. First of all, I have never > asked them to make anything special. My kids barely eat when they are at my > parents' house (too excited) and I eat what I want to and am rarely hungry. > My mom have had some words about her being kicked out of the grandparent > club because she can't cook for her grandchildren and what will she do when > they get older and they want to try some meat balls and that it broke her > heart when they asked for some soup and she couldn't give it to them because > it was chicken soup blah blah blah. I just kind of roll my eyes. They are > starting to parrot back that we don't eat animals and I work hard at helping > them associate the slab o'meat on the table with the animal > sounds they know and the animals they have seen in real life and they may > be starting to actually get it. (we were at a brunch and there was a hunk of > cow being carved up and I told them how it was a cow and it said moo - this > was when they were younger - and they went up to the carver and pointed to > it and started mooing - I was so proud ). > > So this Friday is my mother's birthday and we are ordering in from an > Italian restaurant for dinner and my dad calls me and says he doesn't know > how to handle the " vegetarian thing " . WHAT? After 20 years of practice? In a > large urban centre where vegetarians are abundant and all restaurants have a > myriad of meat free options (usually, now there is this charcuterie movement > which is making meat more prevalent, but I digress)? He doesn't know how to > read a menu and pick some things out that don't have meat? > > Sure, I'll go through the menu and tell him what to order for my clan but, > seriously?!?! Why is this so freaking hard for them! > > No response necessary. Just wanted to rant. > Thanks > Amelia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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