Guest guest Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals and told my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He never wanted it enough to bother. J We gave our daughter an allowance, and told her that she could use it for ANYTHING she wanted: it could be for meat, milk, cheese, toys, clothes, makeup, etc. She usually chose toys or clothes over dairy. Deborah .. Nancy's casserole suggestion made me think of something else. Make your vegetarian/vegan casseroles for you, then give your meat eaters a burger or a boneless chicken breast on the side. Or make vegetarian spaghetti or lasagna for you, and give them a side of chicken and mozzarella for chicken parmesan. I think the key is to stop the traditional thinking of meat as the base dish and planning vegetable sides around it, and switch to thinking of vegan main dishes with optional meat servings as the sides. This new way of thinking is working very well for my husband and me. Many times, if he doesn't want to be bothered to cook the meat for himself, he just happily accepts the vegetarian dish and lets it go at that. Maybe if you have the kids choose their own meat sides, they'll also be too " lazy " to fix it and will go vegan with you. Win-win! Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 > That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals and told > my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He never > wanted it enough to bother. That is what I'm doing. Dh sometimes gets one of the boys to cook meat for him or (rarely) cooks it for himself. When the kids are gone I'm sure he will be vegan and gluten free. He and the oldest boy (the one who doesn't want to give up gluten or dairy) went and got take out yesterday and that is fine with me because no crumbs are on the counter, etc. Neither one of them felt very well after, though! ;-P I don't care if they eat meat or eggs, but my kitchen is a GF/ CF zone. Kim in AB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 I don't care what other people eat. I respect that everybody is on their own personal journey and all that! The problem that I have is the guys just don't get it that I can't have any cross contamination! I couldn't eat or prepare food for 3 days because of the mess in my kitchen and I have explained till blue in the face, sent links to videos, given articles, books, even got a note from a DR for them and they still don't get it! I never once asked anyone to give up their bread, eggs, cheese, or meat. Enjoy what you like! But Please, extend me a little respect and courtesy and clean up your mess so I don't get sick! I don't think it's too much to ask people to clean up their messes! How do you get your husbands/sons to " GET IT " that it's not JUST a few crumbs? I've even tried very hard to keep things separate in the kitchen. I have my kitchen gadgets that are only for me and only my food is allowed in them! I have my side of the table that is supposed to only be for me and my foods! But I'll walk in the kitchen and find a loaf of bread on my side of the table, crumbs all over my cutting board, etc! And I get attitude all the time too! *If you want to use stuff wash it off...there's gluten, etc everywhere so you just got to get use to some cross contamination because you can't avoid it all! *I just started working with the census this past week and the people I just met have more respect and concern for my health and well being than my family is showing! They where great at first but they act like it was just a faze, like a diet fad, and now it's too much work so lets go back to normal! I can't go back to normal! This is my normal now! And it's even more frustrating for me because on top of not being able to eat 90% of the food available I have to put up with attitude and starve because they can't clean up their messes or respect my space in the kitchen so I can safely make myself food! There needs to be a Family Members of Food Allergics Boot Camp or something like that to drill it into them that is is not a temporary inconvenience but a life time commitment that needs to be acknowledged and respected! I was just talking the other day about wanting to put a small kitchen in upstairs in the attic bedroom so I can have my own private space to cook and eat because I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and begging! Advice? On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:45 AM, Kim Spangler Robinson < kimfry wrote: > > > > > > That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals and told > > my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He never > > wanted it enough to bother. > > That is what I'm doing. Dh sometimes gets one of the boys to cook meat for > him or (rarely) cooks it for himself. When the kids are gone I'm sure he > will be vegan and gluten free. He and the oldest boy (the one who doesn't > want to give up gluten or dairy) went and got take out yesterday and that > is > fine with me because no crumbs are on the counter, etc. Neither one of them > > felt very well after, though! ;-P > > I don't care if they eat meat or eggs, but my kitchen is a GF/ CF zone. > > Kim in AB > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 I remember a comment someone uses when folks say 'just a little bit won't hurt' - " For her(me) that's like saying a little cyanide won't hurt. " DDP ________________________________ Jae Jones <recyclednew Sun, May 2, 2010 10:54:19 AM Re: transitioning reluctant family members I don't care what other people eat. I respect that everybody is on their own personal journey and all that! The problem that I have is the guys just don't get it that I can't have any cross contamination! I couldn't eat or prepare food for 3 days because of the mess in my kitchen and I have explained till blue in the face, sent links to videos, given articles, books, even got a note from a DR for them and they still don't get it! I never once asked anyone to give up their bread, eggs, cheese, or meat. Enjoy what you like! But Please, extend me a little respect and courtesy and clean up your mess so I don't get sick! I don't think it's too much to ask people to clean up their messes! How do you get your husbands/sons to " GET IT " that it's not JUST a few crumbs? I've even tried very hard to keep things separate in the kitchen. I have my kitchen gadgets that are only for me and only my food is allowed in them! I have my side of the table that is supposed to only be for me and my foods! But I'll walk in the kitchen and find a loaf of bread on my side of the table, crumbs all over my cutting board, etc! And I get attitude all the time too! *If you want to use stuff wash it off...there' s gluten, etc everywhere so you just got to get use to some cross contamination because you can't avoid it all! *I just started working with the census this past week and the people I just met have more respect and concern for my health and well being than my family is showing! They where great at first but they act like it was just a faze, like a diet fad, and now it's too much work so lets go back to normal! I can't go back to normal! This is my normal now! And it's even more frustrating for me because on top of not being able to eat 90% of the food available I have to put up with attitude and starve because they can't clean up their messes or respect my space in the kitchen so I can safely make myself food! There needs to be a Family Members of Food Allergics Boot Camp or something like that to drill it into them that is is not a temporary inconvenience but a life time commitment that needs to be acknowledged and respected! I was just talking the other day about wanting to put a small kitchen in upstairs in the attic bedroom so I can have my own private space to cook and eat because I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and begging! Advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 If they won't clean up or respect your gf equipment/space, then that would be the point at which I would insist on a gf household (and anything else that you are violently allergic to). No gluten comes into the house. Pam On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:54 AM, Jae Jones <recyclednew wrote: > > > I don't care what other people eat. I respect that everybody is on their > own > personal journey and all that! The problem that I have is the guys just > don't get it that I can't have any cross contamination! I couldn't eat or > prepare food for 3 days because of the mess in my kitchen and I have > explained till blue in the face, sent links to videos, given articles, > books, even got a note from a DR for them and they still don't get it! I > never once asked anyone to give up their bread, eggs, cheese, or meat. > Enjoy > what you like! But Please, extend me a little respect and courtesy and > clean > up your mess so I don't get sick! I don't think it's too much to ask people > to clean up their messes! How do you get your husbands/sons to " GET IT " > that > it's not JUST a few crumbs? I've even tried very hard to keep things > separate in the kitchen. I have my kitchen gadgets that are only for me and > only my food is allowed in them! I have my side of the table that is > supposed to only be for me and my foods! But I'll walk in the kitchen and > find a loaf of bread on my side of the table, crumbs all over my cutting > board, etc! And I get attitude all the time too! *If you want to use stuff > wash it off...there's gluten, etc everywhere so you just got to get use to > some cross contamination because you can't avoid it all! *I just started > working with the census this past week and the people I just met have more > respect and concern for my health and well being than my family is showing! > They where great at first but they act like it was just a faze, like a diet > fad, and now it's too much work so lets go back to normal! I can't go back > to normal! This is my normal now! And it's even more frustrating for me > because on top of not being able to eat 90% of the food available I have to > put up with attitude and starve because they can't clean up their messes or > respect my space in the kitchen so I can safely make myself food! There > needs to be a Family Members of Food Allergics Boot Camp or something like > that to drill it into them that is is not a temporary inconvenience but a > life time commitment that needs to be acknowledged and respected! I was > just > talking the other day about wanting to put a small kitchen in upstairs in > the attic bedroom so I can have my own private space to cook and eat > because > I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and begging! > Advice? > > > On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:45 AM, Kim Spangler Robinson < > kimfry <kimfry%40telusplanet.net>> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals and > told > > > my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He > never > > > wanted it enough to bother. > > > > That is what I'm doing. Dh sometimes gets one of the boys to cook meat > for > > him or (rarely) cooks it for himself. When the kids are gone I'm sure he > > will be vegan and gluten free. He and the oldest boy (the one who doesn't > > want to give up gluten or dairy) went and got take out yesterday and that > > is > > fine with me because no crumbs are on the counter, etc. Neither one of > them > > > > felt very well after, though! ;-P > > > > I don't care if they eat meat or eggs, but my kitchen is a GF/ CF zone. > > > > Kim in AB > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 5:08 PM, pdw <pdworkman wrote: > If they won't clean up or respect your gf equipment/space, then that > would > be the point at which I would insist on a gf household (and anything else > that you are violently allergic to). No gluten comes into the house. > I agree. Some people won't listen until you make it hurt. Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 yup. ________________________________ Carolyn Greene <Carolyn Sun, May 2, 2010 4:35:43 PM Re: transitioning reluctant family members On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 5:08 PM, pdw <pdworkman (AT) gmail (DOT) com> wrote: > If they won't clean up or respect your gf equipment/space, then that would > be the point at which I would insist on a gf household (and anything else > that you are violently allergic to). No gluten comes into the house. > I agree. Some people won't listen until you make it hurt. Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 I agree with the other ladies who have spoken up. It sounds to me like it's time to stop waiting to be respected, and lay down the law. Assert your Feminine Power! As the wife and mother, you are the center of the home. You may need to make some effort to get there though since you have been putting up with what they feel like giving you. You have the right to be the Household Goddess. If you want them to respect you, it starts by respecting yourself. If this seems too hard, maybe talking to a counsellor on your own, and then maybe as a family would help. Deborah On Behalf Of Jae Jones May-02-10 8:54 AM Re: transitioning reluctant family members I don't care what other people eat. I respect that everybody is on their own personal journey and all that! The problem that I have is the guys just don't get it that I can't have any cross contamination! I couldn't eat or prepare food for 3 days because of the mess in my kitchen and I have explained till blue in the face, sent links to videos, given articles, books, even got a note from a DR for them and they still don't get it! I never once asked anyone to give up their bread, eggs, cheese, or meat. Enjoy what you like! But Please, extend me a little respect and courtesy and clean up your mess so I don't get sick! I don't think it's too much to ask people to clean up their messes! How do you get your husbands/sons to " GET IT " that it's not JUST a few crumbs? I've even tried very hard to keep things separate in the kitchen. I have my kitchen gadgets that are only for me and only my food is allowed in them! I have my side of the table that is supposed to only be for me and my foods! But I'll walk in the kitchen and find a loaf of bread on my side of the table, crumbs all over my cutting board, etc! And I get attitude all the time too! *If you want to use stuff wash it off...there's gluten, etc everywhere so you just got to get use to some cross contamination because you can't avoid it all! *I just started working with the census this past week and the people I just met have more respect and concern for my health and well being than my family is showing! They where great at first but they act like it was just a faze, like a diet fad, and now it's too much work so lets go back to normal! I can't go back to normal! This is my normal now! And it's even more frustrating for me because on top of not being able to eat 90% of the food available I have to put up with attitude and starve because they can't clean up their messes or respect my space in the kitchen so I can safely make myself food! There needs to be a Family Members of Food Allergics Boot Camp or something like that to drill it into them that is is not a temporary inconvenience but a life time commitment that needs to be acknowledged and respected! I was just talking the other day about wanting to put a small kitchen in upstairs in the attic bedroom so I can have my own private space to cook and eat because I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and begging! Advice? On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:45 AM, Kim Spangler Robinson < kimfry <kimfry%40telusplanet.net> > wrote: > > > > > > That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals and told > > my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He never > > wanted it enough to bother. > > That is what I'm doing. Dh sometimes gets one of the boys to cook meat for > him or (rarely) cooks it for himself. When the kids are gone I'm sure he > will be vegan and gluten free. He and the oldest boy (the one who doesn't > want to give up gluten or dairy) went and got take out yesterday and that > is > fine with me because no crumbs are on the counter, etc. Neither one of them > > felt very well after, though! ;-P > > I don't care if they eat meat or eggs, but my kitchen is a GF/ CF zone. > > Kim in AB > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 > I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and > begging! > Advice? I discovered my gluten issue a week after I discovered my youngest daughter's gluten issue. She was 17 at the time. She is our family favourite and we call her Sunshine because she is our 'sunshine child'- I don't know if they would have de-contaminated for me, but when Sunshine kept getting dosed, too, dh laid down the law. As long as he is full he doesn't really care what is on his plate so he is on my side. For a long while we had the gluten eaters making what they wanted (with a separate shelf in the fridge and a separate cupboard for their food,) but we still kept getting dosed. I'm not sure if it was crumbs on the counter because we were pretty good about making all our food on a mat or crumbs in the mayo - or whatever, but we were still getting sick. DS #2 is CF (and trying GF for a month to see if he needs to do both) and commented to me that it wasn't going well for him either. They still buy individual yogurts, but that is it for dairy. Anyway- we were SO careful to keep things separate and I found it nearly impossible. If your family won't be supportive the only thing I could say is clean with gloves and wash everything down before you prepare your own food. And don't be in the same room when they are making their food. I assume you aren't cooking the gluten food for them. I do know, this, though - once I was able to GET gluten free I did build up enough strength and energy to fight back and fight for my rights. :-) I don't know if you have enough money to do a whole kitchen in your attic, or if that was a joke, but even if you had a small fridge and a convection toaster oven you could keep a LOT of your food separate and it would probably help a lot. It might not do a lot for family relations, though. :-/ Kim in AB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 I agree on the gluten free house. Yes it is tough for a family member who does not need to eat gluten free but it is world's tougher on the ones that do. Besides it teachs everyone about being supportive of their family. Good luck, Karen --- On Sun, 5/2/10, pdw <pdworkman wrote: pdw <pdworkman Re: transitioning reluctant family members " " Sunday, May 2, 2010, 4:08 PM Â If they won't clean up or respect your gf equipment/space, then that would be the point at which I would insist on a gf household (and anything else that you are violently allergic to). No gluten comes into the house. Pam On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:54 AM, Jae Jones <recyclednew@ gmail.com> wrote: > > > I don't care what other people eat. I respect that everybody is on their > own > personal journey and all that! The problem that I have is the guys just > don't get it that I can't have any cross contamination! I couldn't eat or > prepare food for 3 days because of the mess in my kitchen and I have > explained till blue in the face, sent links to videos, given articles, > books, even got a note from a DR for them and they still don't get it! I > never once asked anyone to give up their bread, eggs, cheese, or meat. > Enjoy > what you like! But Please, extend me a little respect and courtesy and > clean > up your mess so I don't get sick! I don't think it's too much to ask people > to clean up their messes! How do you get your husbands/sons to " GET IT " > that > it's not JUST a few crumbs? I've even tried very hard to keep things > separate in the kitchen. I have my kitchen gadgets that are only for me and > only my food is allowed in them! I have my side of the table that is > supposed to only be for me and my foods! But I'll walk in the kitchen and > find a loaf of bread on my side of the table, crumbs all over my cutting > board, etc! And I get attitude all the time too! *If you want to use stuff > wash it off...there' s gluten, etc everywhere so you just got to get use to > some cross contamination because you can't avoid it all! *I just started > working with the census this past week and the people I just met have more > respect and concern for my health and well being than my family is showing! > They where great at first but they act like it was just a faze, like a diet > fad, and now it's too much work so lets go back to normal! I can't go back > to normal! This is my normal now! And it's even more frustrating for me > because on top of not being able to eat 90% of the food available I have to > put up with attitude and starve because they can't clean up their messes or > respect my space in the kitchen so I can safely make myself food! There > needs to be a Family Members of Food Allergics Boot Camp or something like > that to drill it into them that is is not a temporary inconvenience but a > life time commitment that needs to be acknowledged and respected! I was > just > talking the other day about wanting to put a small kitchen in upstairs in > the attic bedroom so I can have my own private space to cook and eat > because > I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and begging! > Advice? > > > On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:45 AM, Kim Spangler Robinson < > kimfry (AT) telusplanet (DOT) net <kimfry%40telusplan et.net>> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals and > told > > > my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He > never > > > wanted it enough to bother. > > > > That is what I'm doing. Dh sometimes gets one of the boys to cook meat > for > > him or (rarely) cooks it for himself. When the kids are gone I'm sure he > > will be vegan and gluten free. He and the oldest boy (the one who doesn't > > want to give up gluten or dairy) went and got take out yesterday and that > > is > > fine with me because no crumbs are on the counter, etc. Neither one of > them > > > > felt very well after, though! ;-P > > > > I don't care if they eat meat or eggs, but my kitchen is a GF/ CF zone. > > > > Kim in AB > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Additionally - it may be how you find out if more people in the house are sensitive to gluten! My hubby and I had no idea that we were both gluten intolerant until we had to clear the house of gluten for DS (who is adopted, so he didn't get it from us, and who did not have the self-control to stay away from gluten on his own). Pam On Mon, May 3, 2010 at 8:24 AM, Karen Peeler <peelerk wrote: > > > I agree on the gluten free house. Yes it is tough for a family member who > does not need to eat gluten free but it is world's tougher on the ones that > do. Besides it teachs everyone about being supportive of their family. Good > luck, Karen > > --- On Sun, 5/2/10, pdw <pdworkman <pdworkman%40gmail.com>> > wrote: > > pdw <pdworkman <pdworkman%40gmail.com>> > > Re: transitioning reluctant family members > " " < <%40> > > > Sunday, May 2, 2010, 4:08 PM > > > > > If they won't clean up or respect your gf equipment/space, then that would > be the point at which I would insist on a gf household (and anything else > that you are violently allergic to). No gluten comes into the house. > > Pam > > On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:54 AM, Jae Jones <recyclednew@ gmail.com> wrote: > > > > > > > I don't care what other people eat. I respect that everybody is on their > > own > > personal journey and all that! The problem that I have is the guys just > > don't get it that I can't have any cross contamination! I couldn't eat or > > prepare food for 3 days because of the mess in my kitchen and I have > > explained till blue in the face, sent links to videos, given articles, > > books, even got a note from a DR for them and they still don't get it! I > > never once asked anyone to give up their bread, eggs, cheese, or meat. > > Enjoy > > what you like! But Please, extend me a little respect and courtesy and > > clean > > up your mess so I don't get sick! I don't think it's too much to ask > people > > to clean up their messes! How do you get your husbands/sons to " GET IT " > > that > > it's not JUST a few crumbs? I've even tried very hard to keep things > > separate in the kitchen. I have my kitchen gadgets that are only for me > and > > only my food is allowed in them! I have my side of the table that is > > supposed to only be for me and my foods! But I'll walk in the kitchen and > > find a loaf of bread on my side of the table, crumbs all over my cutting > > board, etc! And I get attitude all the time too! *If you want to use > stuff > > wash it off...there' s gluten, etc everywhere so you just got to get use > to > > some cross contamination because you can't avoid it all! *I just started > > working with the census this past week and the people I just met have > more > > respect and concern for my health and well being than my family is > showing! > > They where great at first but they act like it was just a faze, like a > diet > > fad, and now it's too much work so lets go back to normal! I can't go > back > > to normal! This is my normal now! And it's even more frustrating for me > > because on top of not being able to eat 90% of the food available I have > to > > put up with attitude and starve because they can't clean up their messes > or > > respect my space in the kitchen so I can safely make myself food! There > > needs to be a Family Members of Food Allergics Boot Camp or something > like > > that to drill it into them that is is not a temporary inconvenience but a > > life time commitment that needs to be acknowledged and respected! I was > > just > > talking the other day about wanting to put a small kitchen in upstairs in > > the attic bedroom so I can have my own private space to cook and eat > > because > > I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and > begging! > > Advice? > > > > > > On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:45 AM, Kim Spangler Robinson < > > kimfry (AT) telusplanet (DOT) net <kimfry%40telusplan et.net>> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals and > > told > > > > my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He > > never > > > > wanted it enough to bother. > > > > > > That is what I'm doing. Dh sometimes gets one of the boys to cook meat > > for > > > him or (rarely) cooks it for himself. When the kids are gone I'm sure > he > > > will be vegan and gluten free. He and the oldest boy (the one who > doesn't > > > want to give up gluten or dairy) went and got take out yesterday and > that > > > is > > > fine with me because no crumbs are on the counter, etc. Neither one of > > them > > > > > > felt very well after, though! ;-P > > > > > > I don't care if they eat meat or eggs, but my kitchen is a GF/ CF zone. > > > > > > Kim in AB > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 I think there's a basic respect issue here that Jae needs to deal with in a major way, though. If her family members don't respect her enough to clean up after themselves, they probably won't respect her enough to keep gluten out of the house entirely. If I had people treating me like that in my immediate family, we would have a major throwdown. If that didn't work, we'd all be in therapy until they got it. Sally On Mon, May 3, 2010 at 11:14 AM, pdw <pdworkman wrote: > > > Additionally - it may be how you find out if more people in the house are > sensitive to gluten! My hubby and I had no idea that we were both gluten > intolerant until we had to clear the house of gluten for DS (who is > adopted, > so he didn't get it from us, and who did not have the self-control to stay > away from gluten on his own). > > Pam > > > On Mon, May 3, 2010 at 8:24 AM, Karen Peeler <peelerk<peelerk%40>> > wrote: > > > > > > > I agree on the gluten free house. Yes it is tough for a family member who > > does not need to eat gluten free but it is world's tougher on the ones > that > > do. Besides it teachs everyone about being supportive of their family. > Good > > luck, Karen > > > > --- On Sun, 5/2/10, pdw <pdworkman <pdworkman%40gmail.com><pdworkman% > 40gmail.com>> > > wrote: > > > > pdw <pdworkman <pdworkman%40gmail.com> <pdworkman% > 40gmail.com>> > > > > > Re: transitioning reluctant family > members > > " " < <%40> > <%40> > > > > > > Sunday, May 2, 2010, 4:08 PM > > > > > > > > > > If they won't clean up or respect your gf equipment/space, then that > would > > be the point at which I would insist on a gf household (and anything else > > that you are violently allergic to). No gluten comes into the house. > > > > Pam > > > > On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:54 AM, Jae Jones <recyclednew@ gmail.com> > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > I don't care what other people eat. I respect that everybody is on > their > > > own > > > personal journey and all that! The problem that I have is the guys just > > > don't get it that I can't have any cross contamination! I couldn't eat > or > > > prepare food for 3 days because of the mess in my kitchen and I have > > > explained till blue in the face, sent links to videos, given articles, > > > books, even got a note from a DR for them and they still don't get it! > I > > > never once asked anyone to give up their bread, eggs, cheese, or meat. > > > Enjoy > > > what you like! But Please, extend me a little respect and courtesy and > > > clean > > > up your mess so I don't get sick! I don't think it's too much to ask > > people > > > to clean up their messes! How do you get your husbands/sons to " GET IT " > > > that > > > it's not JUST a few crumbs? I've even tried very hard to keep things > > > separate in the kitchen. I have my kitchen gadgets that are only for me > > and > > > only my food is allowed in them! I have my side of the table that is > > > supposed to only be for me and my foods! But I'll walk in the kitchen > and > > > find a loaf of bread on my side of the table, crumbs all over my > cutting > > > board, etc! And I get attitude all the time too! *If you want to use > > stuff > > > wash it off...there' s gluten, etc everywhere so you just got to get > use > > to > > > some cross contamination because you can't avoid it all! *I just > started > > > working with the census this past week and the people I just met have > > more > > > respect and concern for my health and well being than my family is > > showing! > > > They where great at first but they act like it was just a faze, like a > > diet > > > fad, and now it's too much work so lets go back to normal! I can't go > > back > > > to normal! This is my normal now! And it's even more frustrating for me > > > because on top of not being able to eat 90% of the food available I > have > > to > > > put up with attitude and starve because they can't clean up their > messes > > or > > > respect my space in the kitchen so I can safely make myself food! There > > > needs to be a Family Members of Food Allergics Boot Camp or something > > like > > > that to drill it into them that is is not a temporary inconvenience but > a > > > life time commitment that needs to be acknowledged and respected! I was > > > just > > > talking the other day about wanting to put a small kitchen in upstairs > in > > > the attic bedroom so I can have my own private space to cook and eat > > > because > > > I don't know what else to do! I'm tired of explaining, arguing and > > begging! > > > Advice? > > > > > > > > > On Sun, May 2, 2010 at 9:45 AM, Kim Spangler Robinson < > > > kimfry (AT) telusplanet (DOT) net <kimfry%40telusplan et.net>> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > That's how my family made the transition. I made the vegan meals > and > > > told > > > > > my husband it was up to him to do his own meat if he wanted it. He > > > never > > > > > wanted it enough to bother. > > > > > > > > That is what I'm doing. Dh sometimes gets one of the boys to cook > meat > > > for > > > > him or (rarely) cooks it for himself. When the kids are gone I'm sure > > he > > > > will be vegan and gluten free. He and the oldest boy (the one who > > doesn't > > > > want to give up gluten or dairy) went and got take out yesterday and > > that > > > > is > > > > fine with me because no crumbs are on the counter, etc. Neither one > of > > > them > > > > > > > > felt very well after, though! ;-P > > > > > > > > I don't care if they eat meat or eggs, but my kitchen is a GF/ CF > zone. > > > > > > > > Kim in AB > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 .. Jae, how long has it been since you discovered you need to be gluten free? It sounds as though your family is still trying to adjust to the change and needs some education and direction from you. I know that's a tall order, especially if you're new to the gluten-free lifestyle as well. But, be assured, it will come with perseverance from you. My first year or so, I felt bad for " inconveniencing " my husband. He subconsciously picked up on my apologetic attitude and kept encouraging me to have " just a little " of something with gluten in it. Part of it was that he didn't understand that just a little gluten for someone who's allergic is like just a little poison for anyone else. The bigger part was that deep down I felt I didn't have the right to change the rules in the house since I was the only one with the issue. After enough accidental glutenings and suffering with the painful after-effects, I changed my attitude. Once I refused to eat even the things that might be cross contaminated (oats, for instance, which he didn't understand why that was a problem) and flat-out stated that I wasn't willing to take ANY risks with my food any more, he fully accepted it, too. But I had to change my own thinking first before he could change his. Now, he's my biggest advocate and is super vigilant in the kitchen. Another thing that helped change his mind was that I stopped suffering in silence when I got glutened. For instance, I got glutened by some shredded cheese which included gluten as an anti-caking agent that he used (thinking it wouldn't be a problem since it was such a small amount) in a dish he made for dinner. That night when I kept waking up with belly pain, I moaned loud and along, making sure he woke up every time I did. Not to be mean, but to help him experience that this is what I go through every time I get hit with even a tiny bit of gluten. Then the next day when the pain moved to my joints, I stayed home from an outing he wanted both of us to attend. As I said before, some people just don't get it until you make them hurt. Well, he didn't like seeing me in pain, but he really *got it* when he lost sleep and missed out on a fun socializing opportunity because I suffered the consequence of " just a little " gluten in the dish he prepared for us. It's really easy to tell you to crack the whip and lay down the law with your family, and that works for some people. (I wish I was one of those people.) But for others, it's a process, and you have to find out what method fits with your personality. Just remember ... find reasonable ways to make them hurt as much or more than you do. It's not being mean to them, it's being kind to you. Some people just don't learn unless there's a strong consequence attached to their actions. Hugs, and good luck. Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Beautifully put Carolyn. Deborah Carolyn Greene wrote: My first year or so, I felt bad for " inconveniencing " my husband. He subconsciously picked up on my apologetic attitude and kept encouraging me to have " just a little " of something with gluten in it. Part of it was that he didn't understand that just a little gluten for someone who's allergic is like just a little poison for anyone else. The bigger part was that deep down I felt I didn't have the right to change the rules in the house since I was the only one with the issue. After enough accidental glutenings and suffering with the painful after-effects, I changed my attitude. Once I refused to eat even the things that might be cross contaminated (oats, for instance, which he didn't understand why that was a problem) and flat-out stated that I wasn't willing to take ANY risks with my food any more, he fully accepted it, too. But I had to change my own thinking first before he could change his. Now, he's my biggest advocate and is super vigilant in the kitchen. Another thing that helped change his mind was that I stopped suffering in silence when I got glutened. For instance, I got glutened by some shredded cheese which included gluten as an anti-caking agent that he used (thinking it wouldn't be a problem since it was such a small amount) in a dish he made for dinner. That night when I kept waking up with belly pain, I moaned loud and along, making sure he woke up every time I did. Not to be mean, but to help him experience that this is what I go through every time I get hit with even a tiny bit of gluten. Then the next day when the pain moved to my joints, I stayed home from an outing he wanted both of us to attend. As I said before, some people just don't get it until you make them hurt. Well, he didn't like seeing me in pain, but he really *got it* when he lost sleep and missed out on a fun socializing opportunity because I suffered the consequence of " just a little " gluten in the dish he prepared for us. It's really easy to tell you to crack the whip and lay down the law with your family, and that works for some people. (I wish I was one of those people.) But for others, it's a process, and you have to find out what method fits with your personality. Just remember ... find reasonable ways to make them hurt as much or more than you do. It's not being mean to them, it's being kind to you. Some people just don't learn unless there's a strong consequence attached to their actions. Hugs, and good luck. Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Hi Jae, Carolyn has hit on what my trouble was at home. After my husband understood what go through after having even a little gluten, he has been very careful. I had been hiding the pain, suffering as silently as I could, and one day I couldn't hide it any more. He was blown away, and then asked, if this happened every time? Since then, he asked that I don't hide it--that hiding it doesn't help anyone. By being more open, I would be not only helping me, but educating and helping others. We set up the kitchen as GF, and that has helped tremendously. I hope this helps! Julie , Carolyn Greene <Carolyn wrote: > > . > Jae, how long has it been since you discovered you need to be gluten free? > It sounds as though your family is still trying to adjust to the change and > needs some education and direction from you. I know that's a tall order, > especially if you're new to the gluten-free lifestyle as well. But, be > assured, it will come with perseverance from you. > > My first year or so, I felt bad for " inconveniencing " my husband. He > subconsciously picked up on my apologetic attitude and kept encouraging me > to have " just a little " of something with gluten in it. Part of it was that > he didn't understand that just a little gluten for someone who's allergic is > like just a little poison for anyone else. The bigger part was that deep > down I felt I didn't have the right to change the rules in the house since I > was the only one with the issue. > > After enough accidental glutenings and suffering with the painful > after-effects, I changed my attitude. Once I refused to eat even the things > that might be cross contaminated (oats, for instance, which he didn't > understand why that was a problem) and flat-out stated that I wasn't willing > to take ANY risks with my food any more, he fully accepted it, too. But I > had to change my own thinking first before he could change his. Now, he's > my biggest advocate and is super vigilant in the kitchen. > > Another thing that helped change his mind was that I stopped suffering in > silence when I got glutened. For instance, I got glutened by some shredded > cheese which included gluten as an anti-caking agent that he used (thinking > it wouldn't be a problem since it was such a small amount) in a dish he made > for dinner. That night when I kept waking up with belly pain, I moaned loud > and along, making sure he woke up every time I did. Not to be mean, but to > help him experience that this is what I go through every time I get hit with > even a tiny bit of gluten. Then the next day when the pain moved to my > joints, I stayed home from an outing he wanted both of us to attend. As I > said before, some people just don't get it until you make them hurt. Well, > he didn't like seeing me in pain, but he really *got it* when he lost sleep > and missed out on a fun socializing opportunity because I suffered the > consequence of " just a little " gluten in the dish he prepared for us. > > It's really easy to tell you to crack the whip and lay down the law with > your family, and that works for some people. (I wish I was one of those > people.) But for others, it's a process, and you have to find out what > method fits with your personality. > > Just remember ... find reasonable ways to make them hurt as much or more > than you do. It's not being mean to them, it's being kind to you. Some > people just don't learn unless there's a strong consequence attached to > their actions. > > Hugs, and good luck. > > > Carolyn > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Thanks everyone! I've actually been totally GF for a little over 6 years now. For a few years before that though I was basically living on applesauce because I got sick on everything after having chronic pancreatitis because I was on a liquid diet for a few months during that issue. In hindsight I realize my body had detoxed and so I was getting sick every time I tried to eat toast or crackers as the doctors kept recommending! When I first started dating my hubby, I had food issues and I was just starting to figure out the gluten link to it all! So it's nothing new! He was great at first! I was and still am the cheapest date! lol It all seemed to go to hell when his son moved in with us full time. His son is now 19 and he moved back out so it's not as bad as when he was here 24/7. Bad habits are still lingering though! He has been reading a lot and trying to improve his health and has cut way back on bread for the most part. It's like a roller coaster, we're on top of everything and it's going good, then we fall back down into chaos again! I think he's finally getting it though because for the past month I have made mess after mess and left it for him to clean! He got pissed last week and started screaming at me about how ignorant I was being etc. And I just gave him that look that said " and your one to talk! " He shut up and did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen and later apologized. Last night he said to me, " I've been thinking, and I think I'm really lucky to have you! " So hopefully we are finally getting back on track here! At least we are talking again and he's actually listening to what I'm saying! He knows what I go through! We've been down that road! We have " thrown down " many of times! I think doing the same thing to him is what really hit home! He hates mushrooms too and I have made them mostly everyday over the past couple weeks leaving a few everywhere and " accidentally " flipped a few over into his skillet once! lol It's not totally the same because he's not allergic to mushrooms, but he hates them enough that I think it finally hit home! And if not, I still have more mushrooms! On Wed, May 5, 2010 at 2:07 PM, j <julie.shusterman wrote: > > > > Hi Jae, > > Carolyn has hit on what my trouble was at home. After my husband understood > what go through after having even a little gluten, he has been very careful. > I had been hiding the pain, suffering as silently as I could, and one day I > couldn't hide it any more. He was blown away, and then asked, if this > happened every time? Since then, he asked that I don't hide it--that hiding > it doesn't help anyone. By being more open, I would be not only helping me, > but educating and helping others. We set up the kitchen as GF, and that has > helped tremendously. > > I hope this helps! > > Julie > --- In <%40>, > Carolyn Greene <Carolyn wrote: > > > > . > > Jae, how long has it been since you discovered you need to be gluten > free? > > It sounds as though your family is still trying to adjust to the change > and > > needs some education and direction from you. I know that's a tall order, > > especially if you're new to the gluten-free lifestyle as well. But, be > > assured, it will come with perseverance from you. > > > > My first year or so, I felt bad for " inconveniencing " my husband. He > > subconsciously picked up on my apologetic attitude and kept encouraging > me > > to have " just a little " of something with gluten in it. Part of it was > that > > he didn't understand that just a little gluten for someone who's allergic > is > > like just a little poison for anyone else. The bigger part was that deep > > down I felt I didn't have the right to change the rules in the house > since I > > was the only one with the issue. > > > > After enough accidental glutenings and suffering with the painful > > after-effects, I changed my attitude. Once I refused to eat even the > things > > that might be cross contaminated (oats, for instance, which he didn't > > understand why that was a problem) and flat-out stated that I wasn't > willing > > to take ANY risks with my food any more, he fully accepted it, too. But I > > had to change my own thinking first before he could change his. Now, he's > > my biggest advocate and is super vigilant in the kitchen. > > > > Another thing that helped change his mind was that I stopped suffering in > > silence when I got glutened. For instance, I got glutened by some > shredded > > cheese which included gluten as an anti-caking agent that he used > (thinking > > it wouldn't be a problem since it was such a small amount) in a dish he > made > > for dinner. That night when I kept waking up with belly pain, I moaned > loud > > and along, making sure he woke up every time I did. Not to be mean, but > to > > help him experience that this is what I go through every time I get hit > with > > even a tiny bit of gluten. Then the next day when the pain moved to my > > joints, I stayed home from an outing he wanted both of us to attend. As I > > said before, some people just don't get it until you make them hurt. > Well, > > he didn't like seeing me in pain, but he really *got it* when he lost > sleep > > and missed out on a fun socializing opportunity because I suffered the > > consequence of " just a little " gluten in the dish he prepared for us. > > > > It's really easy to tell you to crack the whip and lay down the law with > > your family, and that works for some people. (I wish I was one of those > > people.) But for others, it's a process, and you have to find out what > > method fits with your personality. > > > > Just remember ... find reasonable ways to make them hurt as much or more > > than you do. It's not being mean to them, it's being kind to you. Some > > people just don't learn unless there's a strong consequence attached to > > their actions. > > > > Hugs, and good luck. > > > > > > Carolyn > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 .. So funny, Jae, about " accidentally " getting mushrooms in your husband's cooking pans. Your story once again proves that some people don't *get it* until you make them hurt.f Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 LOL! Jae, it sounds like you have using the " fight fire with fire " method very effectively, consciously, with intelligence and gentle humour. J Deborah Jae Jones I think he's finally getting it though because for the past month I have made mess after mess and left it for him to clean! He got pissed last week and started screaming at me about how ignorant I was being etc. And I just gave him that look that said " and your one to talk! " He shut up and did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen and later apologized. Last night he said to me, " I've been thinking, and I think I'm really lucky to have you! " So hopefully we are finally getting back on track here! At least we are talking again and he's actually listening to what I'm saying! He knows what I go through! We've been down that road! We have " thrown down " many of times! I think doing the same thing to him is what really hit home! He hates mushrooms too and I have made them mostly everyday over the past couple weeks leaving a few everywhere and " accidentally " flipped a few over into his skillet once! lol It's not totally the same because he's not allergic to mushrooms, but he hates them enough that I think it finally hit home! And if not, I still have more mushrooms! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2010 Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 lol yeah On Wed, May 5, 2010 at 6:40 PM, Deborah Pageau <dpageau wrote: > > > LOL! Jae, it sounds like you have using the " fight fire with fire " method > very effectively, consciously, with intelligence and gentle humour. J > > Deborah > > Jae Jones > > I think he's finally getting it though because for the past month I have > made > mess after mess and left it for him to clean! He got pissed last week and > started screaming at me about how ignorant I was being etc. And I just gave > him that look that said " and your one to talk! " He shut up and did the > dishes and cleaned the kitchen and later apologized. Last night he said to > me, " I've been thinking, and I think I'm really lucky to have you! " So > hopefully we are finally getting back on track here! At least we are > talking > again and he's actually listening to what I'm saying! He knows what I go > through! We've been down that road! We have " thrown down " many of times! I > think doing the same thing to him is what really hit home! He hates > mushrooms too and I have made them mostly everyday over the past couple > weeks leaving a few everywhere and " accidentally " flipped a few over > into > his skillet once! lol It's not totally the same because he's not allergic > to > mushrooms, but he hates them enough that I think it finally hit home! And > if > not, I still have more mushrooms! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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