Subject: Achieving and Sustaining Success (Lesa)

July 21, 2007

With E's permission here's the reply I sent via email & his re-reply

to that... some detail follows (I'll put it in all CAPS for easy

location) as does the original LONG post...

Simply,

Lesa

_____________

Elchanan,

Thank you for responding. I found and read your reply earlier this

week.

It is very important to me for my communications to be

both heard and understood and it is very important that I feel safe

enough to continue communicating.

My initial post about Volumetrics & Caloric Intake was made prior to

a presentation that I had been asked to make, though not stated, I

was asking for your input into my research. My personal interest

in the subject was due to my recurring struggle with not wanting to

eat very much. I believe a recent post on Dr. D's forum may have

answered why that seemed to keep happening. It is truth that there

was a time when I was initially concerned about my weight getting

below 140 pounds because anything below that was mental foreign

territory to me. I expect that my body will be healthier somewhere

around 120 pounds. My body fat, though it has already changed, was

checked and that information did help me to understand my goal more

clearly. I have been concerned, as well, with the appearance of

my body and the areas of 'sharpae skin' that have recently

developed. My research indicated more activity would help, which I

have added to my already 1 hour plus a day of walking. More and

different activities have led to deep emotional work, which has felt

confusing. I have learned to embrace and be grateful for the

challenge. I am happy that I am able to trust myself and that I am

more graceful at expressing myself as well.

If you have an interest, I would like to share a couple of other

things concerning my process with you. I will wait to hear from you

before continuing.

And, least you end up big headed (just joking now, please don't take

offence) I was able to come to most of this BEFORE I saw and read

your reply. Your reply was very nice validation, though it was not

read dry-eyed.

Sincerely,

Simply,

Lesa

PS I would like your permission to post this reply on the rawfood

as well. Again, will wait to hear from you first.

_______________

Elchanan's Email reply:

Lesa, great to hear from you. Yes, of course post anything you wish

in the group. You may wish to add more detail about some of the

things you reference ... the post on Dr. Graham's forum, the result

of the body fat measurement ... just a sentence or two on each would

complete the picture.

And yes, of course, ask whatever you wish.

E

_______________________________

Original LONG post... (I'm editing out some of the extra spacing to

make it shorter) Lesa

rawfood , " Elchanan " <Elchanan wrote:

>

> THIS IS A VERY LONG POST.

> >

> Greetings Lesa and all,

> > I'm continuing to go through my backlog of posts in this group,

and Lesa, it's your turn!

>

> Beginning on June 6, you wrote a series of long posts, initially

using the subject line " Q for E: Intake Quantity? " , describing your

circumstances and your wonderful achievements so far (release of

more than 130 pounds during the past year or so), and setting forth

your questions and concerns about where to go from here. Because of

the voluminous nature of your writings, I do not reproduce any of

them here, except for the very first sentence you wrote:

>

> " I'm wondering if you could comment about volumetric, caloric

intake, & maintenance. "

> >

> Much writing followed, involving various participants in this

group, as people attempted to address with you the question you

posed. Along the way, one person, Margaret, as I recall, posed a

simple question to you: " Are you afraid of being skinny? "

>

> From my perspective, your long and intensely emotional response,

about how she didn't " get you " and so forth, spoke volumes, at least

to me. I wrote a 3-line post back, suggesting that, of all the

posters in the conversation, Margaret had hit the nail on the head

and that I would share more, evoked an even more intense emotional

response - five long messages, the first three sent privately to me,

the final two posted in the group. Again, not the content, but the

intensity of all these messages spoke volumes to me.

>

> Some of what I say here, you may not wish to hear. And as I wrote

in that little 3-line posts, almost all that I say here, I have said

to you before during our many private phone conversations.

>

> Because of this, I have a request . one that you may find

challenging, but one that I believe will benefit you greatly: Don't

respond AT ALL to this message for at least 49 hours from the time

you are reading it. Go inside first, process first. I'll make a

second, related request and suggestion toward the end of this

message.

>

> And now, as " they " say, " On with the show! "

> ______

>

> " Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear

is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our

darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be

brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not

to be? You are a child of God.

> Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing

enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure

around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born

to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just

in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we

are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically

liberates others. "

>

> --- Marianne Williamson, Return To Love: Reflections on the

Principles of A Course in Miracles

>___________

>

> Lesa, from my perspective, you stand perched atop a great

precipice at a great fork in the road of your life. Along one path

lies the potential for complete, lifelong success . you become a

wonder to behold, a genuine and palpable force in the world for

health, vitality, and well-being. Along the other path lies the

potential for great disappointment, for " backsliding " , even the

potential loss of all you have achieved so far. So what you learn

> now, how you proceed now, may be far more significant to you . and

to others. than you imagine.

>

> The rest of this post sets forth my observations, perceptions,

> interpretations, and recommendations. I write in considerable

detail, in the hope that you will " get " what I am saying,

internalize it, and use to achieve AND SUSTAIN the success that is

presently at your door.

>

> For I believe it is the fear of that success . rather, of what

that success might bring . that lies between you and its ultimate

attainment. This is why I have included the Marianne Williamson

quote . I do not customarily do this, as you are well aware.

>

> In other words, this is not a discussion about " about

volumetrics, caloric intake, & maintenance, " the question you

expressed from the beginning. In fact, that very question screams

confusion and misdirected focus to me.

>

> 1. Highlights from your writings: Following are bits of

information I perceive as germane and useful to you now:

> - You have released more than 130 pounds during the past year or

so. Bravo!!!

> - You are 5'7 " tall (approximately 170 cm long).

> - You presently weight 140-something.

> - You engage in light to moderate physical activity on a regular

basis (2-3 mile walks on flat ground).

> - You have made significant progress--breakthroughs really--

internally, and externally in certain relationships (ex-boyfriend,

grandfather around age 3, etc.)

> - You have never once measured your body fat percent and do not

know (as of a few weeks ago) how to do so.

>

> 1. Principle for Vibrant Living: What creates success, sustains

success. Only the proportions, timing, and rhythms need change.

>

> You have achieved your remarkable success-to-date by following,

rather closely if I understand correctly, Dr. Doug Graham's 80/10/10

program. In fact, you have released an average of more than 10

pounds per month for at least a year now. This is a fantastic

achievement, one to " write home about " !!!

>

> ONE key to continued success is to stay the course: stay with the

program that got you this far. To do this, you must address item #2,

immediately following.

>

> 2. Accept that your healthful, sustainable, lifelong body weight

is somewhere in the 120s. You express fear that, having reached the

140s, you continue to release weight. This is as it should be. You

have 20+ pounds to go, in terms of body weight.

>

> 3. Shift the focus of your goal-setting to body composition.

COMPLETELY release all body weight-related goals. (Whether as weight

loss/release or as a " target weight " .) Let your body choose its own

long-term weight. (It will anyway at some level.)

>

> Instead of weight loss or a " target weight " , focus instead on a

target body composition. To do this, you'll need to get your body

fat percent measured . do that right away. And you'll need to do as

described in #4, immediately following.

>

> 4. Finish learning about 80/10/10.

> What creates success, sustains success . IF AND ONLY IF you fully

comprehend what created success in the first place. That you have

never measured your body fat percent speaks volumes to me . your

comprehension of what Doug teaches is incomplete, at best. Your

> expressed level of physical activity speaks similarly.

>

> Everything Doug teaches is about creating health. Body weight is a

poor indicator of health . witness all the star athletes, people in

absolutely incredible shape . who drop dead on the playing field or

from heart attacks and the like during their 40s and 50s. These

people are amazingly fit . their body weight is " perfect " . But they

are not healthy, and they never were.

>

> Setting goals for body composition (e.g., body fat percent)

serves you far better than does holding even a single thought about

body weight. I'll not explain here why this is so . I trust that

you'll learn, if you wish.

>

> In a larger sense, recreating the entire way you think, feel, and

live is required. THIS is 80/10/10. You have already accomplished

these things to a remarkable degree . we can all observe this from

your writings. Still, your fear holds you back from " going all the

way " , and much lies before you.

> (More on that below.)

> 5. Focus upon your own emotional cleansing and restoration-make

this a primary focus from this point, forward.

> You have already accomplished much in this regard, releasing your

> relationship of 15 years, about religious abuse throughout your

childhood, about your grandfather, etc. We have discussed these

things in the past, and more.

>

> Still, the great part of your emotional growth lies before you,

not behind you. In particular, as I have written, I believe Margaret

was " spot on " in asking whether you fear " being too skinny " . I

believe your long-term success . ALL of your long-term, sustained

success, vitally depends upon your coming to terms with creating AND

SUSTAINING the great potential for beauty that lies within you. And

I believe you feel terrified of doing so, afraid, among other

things, that you will be emotionally and perhaps even physically

brutalized if you do.

>

> From my perspective, you MUST address this completely, and you

must do so in the presence of someone who can guide you with great

clarity and a strong sense of focus and purpose.

>

> And following all this, I believe that you feel terrified, just

as so many do, of your own power, your own potential to move

mountains. From my perspective, you must also address this, in the

right time for you, if you are to achieve and sustain all the

physical, mental, and spiritual happiness you seek.

>

> 5. Limit all writings about yourself to 250 words or less.

> This suggestion may seem almost ridiculous to you at first . and I

ask that you read on.

> ********(NOTE: I trimmed this portion you can look back to the

original post to see why... Lesa)

>

> So Lesa, I close with this suggestion: that you learn and

implement, initially in your own communications about yourself, a

level of discipline and focus unlike anything you have known. If you

choose to adopt this recommendation, you choose to nurture yourself,

from this time forward, in ways you cannot presently imagine.

>

> Anyone can write a 10-page paper. Few can write an effective ONE-

page paper. THAT is a great skill. And those who master it create

clarity that others cannot even fathom.

>

> Best to all,

>

> Elchanan

________________

OKAY, IF YOU'VE READ THIS FAR, YOU PROBLY WANT THE UPDATE AND EXTRA

INFO THAT E. SUGGESTED I ADD... HERE GOES:

DR. DOUG'S FORUM: A RECENT POST RE: ANOTHER 80/10/10ER WHO HAD NO

HUNGER WHILE HIKING & LOST A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT HELPED ME

TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF WE CONSISTANTLY UNDEREAT, OUR BODY BEGINS

USING WHAT IT ALREADY HAS AND SHUTS DOWN THE HUNGER BAROMETER...SO

WE DON'T FEEL HUNGRY WHILE OUR BODY DOES ITS SURVIVAL MODE THING,

WHEN WE BEGIN TO GIVE OUR BODIES ENOUGH FUEL AGAIN, WE MAY GAIN A

FEW POUNDS BEFORE WE BEGIN LOSING AGAIN.

BODY FAT: MINE AT 140#S WAS AROUND 23 WHICH WAS MEASURED ACCORDING

TO NUTRIDIARY'S MEASUREMENT PROCESS. I THEN CALCULATED VIA 80/10/10

BOOKS CALCULATIONS WHERE I SHOULD BE AIMING - FOR ME 120-125#S

AREA...AND YES ITS MORE IMPORTANT TO HAVE MY EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES

AND BODY COMPOSITION MORE IN LINE WITH WHAT I'M SHOWING THE WORLD ON

THE OUTSIDE... AMAZING WHEN A COUPLE YEARS AGO I JUST WANTED TO SHOW

THE WORLD WHAT I FELT LIKE INSIDE!

AND THE COUPLE EXTRAS I WANTED TO ADD & SHARE W/ELCHANAN...

WRITING: MY BOOK/BOOKLET (25ISH PAGES) WILL BE FINISHED ON AUG 1.

IT'S A SHARING OF MY EXPERIENCE W/RAW SO FAR. I'M NOT PLANNING TO

SELL THIS AS I'M SHARING, I WILL ACCEPT DONATIONS THAT WILL HELP ME

TO PRINT MORE COPIES AND BE ABLE TO MAIL THEM TO OTHERS, SO IF YOU

WANT ONE, CONTACT ME, SEND YOUR MAILING ADDRESS AND BETWEEN ME & THE

UNIVERSE, WE'LL FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ONE TO YOU. THIS IS A HOME

PRINTED BOOK THAT I AM HAPPY WITH BOTH THE CONTENT AND QUALITY. (I

AM TRYING NOT TO MAKE THIS A COMMERCIAL THING)

EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES: I RECENTLY LEARNED SOME RATHER BIG (IN MY

LIFE) INFORMATION ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER THAT HAS

HELPED ME TO UNDERSTAND EVEN MORE ABOUT THE CURSES A FATHER CAN

VISIT ON HIS CHILDREN, THO MY DAD DIDN'T SET OUT TO CURSE ME, HE DID

SET ME UP FOR A LOT OF STUFF AND NOW THAT I HAVE MORE TRUTH ABOUT

ALL THAT - I CAN FINALLY SEE THAT ITS OKAY TO BELIEVE MYSELF NOW AND

LET THAT OTHER STUFF AND OLD BELIEVES GO... (THE REST IS TOO LONG

FOR HERE) THIS IS AND WAS A BIGGGIE! AND YES MY THOUGHTS ON

SUCCESS, MONEY, WORK, SELF WORTH, SAFETY ETC ALL STEM FROM THIS

BACKGROUND...IT'S GREAT TO BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO RE-CREATE

THIS.

THATS ENOUGH!

SIMPLY,

LESA

July 23, 2007

thank you for sharing this Lesa

Lesa <ljbn wrote: With E's permission here's the reply I

sent via email & his re-reply