Guest guest Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 What's up vegan chatters. This is my first post to the group. Thought I'd introduce myself. I have been vegan for one year, and vegetarian for 6. I live in Southern California and am thankful for the wide variety of dining options here. Now, here's my specific question. I have been reviewing the archives, and it seems the group is somewhat split with respect to vegan marriage. I didn't expect anything less. I want to take this ongoing discussion a few steps away from the serious while soliciting your advice. Basically, I'm frustrated that my diet is limiting the choices I have for a date, and I'm trying to develop some degree of tolerance. I haven't dated a meat-eater while vegan, and I want to explore this experience before I rule it out. This is the first issue I have identified: I am a man, and the gentlemanly thing to do on a dinner date is to pay for the woman's meal. I recently took a woman out, however, and felt that my ethics were compromised when I paid for her sea bass. I told her so during our next phone conversation. She cancelled our next date. So here's the poll. Do I : #1 Forget completely about dating meat eating women, #2 Start out by taking them to veg restaurants only, #3 Go to any restaurant with a meat-eater, and state my principles (something along the lines of " I'd really like to pay for your meal, but I'm vegan " ); #4 Categorically avoid dinner or lunch dates until an intimate relationship has developed. Incidentally, my mother is claiming that I'm cheap and that I've found a new avenue for rationalization. I am cheap, so she has a point - but I do consider myself a committed vegan, becoming more so each day. This is one of the many tests I will encounter, I suspect. I am very interested to hear your responses. Thanks, and I look forward to chatting with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 In a message dated 10/24/03 8:48:13 AM Pacific Daylight Time, metalscarab writes: >#4 Categorically avoid dinner or lunch dates until an intimate >relationship has developed. but, what about the cheap and tawdry sex? hahahah kidding sorta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 well..assuming love doesn't enter into it(my gawd yes, you can fall in luv with an evil meat eater...eeeeep!!)(dang fickle luv).. why not just put it all out there before hand.. "heh, i'm vegan, where would u like to eat, would u mind going to a veggie resturant, that way i can eat and you can try some as well" you can always go dutch...there is no rule that sez you have to pay .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 Hi > #1 Forget completely about dating meat eating women, > #2 Start out by taking them to veg restaurants only,> #3 Go to any restaurant with a meat-eater, and state my > principles (something along the lines of "I'd really like to pay for > your meal, but I'm vegan");> #4 Categorically avoid dinner or lunch dates until an intimate > relationship has developed. Perhaps you should just try pointing out that you have ethical objections to purchasing animal-based products *before* going to any restaraunts, but say that you'll be happy to pay for a vegetarian / vegan meal. Give her the choice of going to a veggie place where you'll be happy to pay, or getting a meat meal she'll have to pay for herself... and if she doesn't like either of those options, then what future would there be in the relationship anyway???? BB Peter ---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.522 / Virus Database: 320 - Release 29/09/03 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 I dated a meat and cheese loving junk food junky for 4 1/2 years. It was complete Hell. A couple of times I talked him into going to a vegie restaurant, but he would pout the whole time. Then he would take me to a rib place and wonder why I was anoyed that I had nothing to eat. I am now in a relationship with a Vegan man. We have been dating for 9 months, and it is the best thing that has ever happend to me. I suggest wating for a Vegan woman. It took me a whyle to find a Vegan man, but It is the best thing in the world. I never knew eatting out could be so pleasant. Good luck, Heidi , " ceasehate " <ceasehate> wrote: > What's up vegan chatters. This is my first post to the group. > Thought I'd introduce myself. I have been vegan for one year, > and vegetarian for 6. I live in Southern California and am > thankful for the wide variety of dining options here. > > Now, here's my specific question. I have been reviewing the > archives, and it seems the group is somewhat split with respect > to vegan marriage. I didn't expect anything less. I want to take > this ongoing discussion a few steps away from the serious > while soliciting your advice. > > Basically, I'm frustrated that my diet is limiting the choices I have > for a date, and I'm trying to develop some degree of tolerance. I > haven't dated a meat-eater while vegan, and I want to explore > this experience before I rule it out. > > This is the first issue I have identified: I am a man, and the > gentlemanly thing to do on a dinner date is to pay for the > woman's meal. I recently took a woman out, however, and felt > that my ethics were compromised when I paid for her sea bass. > I told her so during our next phone conversation. She cancelled > our next date. > > So here's the poll. Do I : > > #1 Forget completely about dating meat eating women, > #2 Start out by taking them to veg restaurants only, > #3 Go to any restaurant with a meat-eater, and state my > principles (something along the lines of " I'd really like to pay for > your meal, but I'm vegan " ); > #4 Categorically avoid dinner or lunch dates until an intimate > relationship has developed. > > Incidentally, my mother is claiming that I'm cheap and that I've > found a new avenue for rationalization. I am cheap, so she has > a point - but I do consider myself a committed vegan, becoming > more so each day. This is one of the many tests I will encounter, > I suspect. > > I am very interested to hear your responses. Thanks, and I look > forward to chatting with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 Hi 'ceasehate' That's an awkward situation to be in! I wouldn't rule out dating a meat-eater, but it is probably wise to point out that you are vegan and you would be more than pleased to buy her a meal at a veggie restaurant, but would not feel able to compromise your ethics and pay for a dead animal. The possibilities then would be that you go out to a veggie restaurant and you buy her dinner, or you go to a non-veggie restaurant and she buys her own. If you feel that you are being 'cheap' that way you could always buy her a box of vegan chocolates, or something similar, to show that you are not. Anyway, discuss it first - if that falters then there wouldn't be much hope of a good relationship anyway. Good luck Jo - ceasehate Friday, October 24, 2003 9:01 AM vegan dating What's up vegan chatters. This is my first post to the group. Thought I'd introduce myself. I have been vegan for one year, and vegetarian for 6. I live in Southern California and am thankful for the wide variety of dining options here.Now, here's my specific question. I have been reviewing the archives, and it seems the group is somewhat split with respect to vegan marriage. I didn't expect anything less. I want to take this ongoing discussion a few steps away from the serious while soliciting your advice.Basically, I'm frustrated that my diet is limiting the choices I have for a date, and I'm trying to develop some degree of tolerance. I haven't dated a meat-eater while vegan, and I want to explore this experience before I rule it out.This is the first issue I have identified: I am a man, and the gentlemanly thing to do on a dinner date is to pay for the woman's meal. I recently took a woman out, however, and felt that my ethics were compromised when I paid for her sea bass. I told her so during our next phone conversation. She cancelled our next date.So here's the poll. Do I :#1 Forget completely about dating meat eating women, #2 Start out by taking them to veg restaurants only,#3 Go to any restaurant with a meat-eater, and state my principles (something along the lines of "I'd really like to pay for your meal, but I'm vegan");#4 Categorically avoid dinner or lunch dates until an intimate relationship has developed.Incidentally, my mother is claiming that I'm cheap and that I've found a new avenue for rationalization. I am cheap, so she has a point - but I do consider myself a committed vegan, becoming more so each day. This is one of the many tests I will encounter, I suspect.I am very interested to hear your responses. Thanks, and I look forward to chatting with you. To send an email to - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 Hi and WELCOME to the group! This is a hard question for me to answer as I became vegan after I was married. My DH and DS are both carnivores and though it is difficult at times, we have learned to live with each other's directions in life and support one another. Just as they support my decision to be vegan, i must support their decisions not to be. Not that I do not try hard to get them to shy away from animal products, but I cannot make another's life decision for them, I have no right. But your situation is very different and I guess it comes down to how you feel. Some would say you are wrong in purchasing the meal and others would say your not. You need to look at yourself first and see how it makes you feel when this happens. Because if you do choose to date a meateater, you will be faced with this. None of my friends here are vegans/vegetarians and I do flip for the bill at times when we go out. I do not necessarily like it, but again I cannot tell them what they have to do. With or without me, they would buy that product, eat that dinner, wear that leather. It may not justify the end, and may just be me rationalizing to myself to feel better, but I cannot persecute them for these choices especially as they do not persecute me. I can however set a good example and teach them what I know. Again tho, this is my feeling on my situations. You need to decide how it makes you feel. Hope this helps even a little bit! nikki , " ceasehate " <ceasehate> wrote: > What's up vegan chatters. This is my first post to the group. > Thought I'd introduce myself. I have been vegan for one year, > and vegetarian for 6. I live in Southern California and am > thankful for the wide variety of dining options here. > > Now, here's my specific question. I have been reviewing the > archives, and it seems the group is somewhat split with respect > to vegan marriage. I didn't expect anything less. I want to take > this ongoing discussion a few steps away from the serious > while soliciting your advice. > > Basically, I'm frustrated that my diet is limiting the choices I have > for a date, and I'm trying to develop some degree of tolerance. I > haven't dated a meat-eater while vegan, and I want to explore > this experience before I rule it out. > > This is the first issue I have identified: I am a man, and the > gentlemanly thing to do on a dinner date is to pay for the > woman's meal. I recently took a woman out, however, and felt > that my ethics were compromised when I paid for her sea bass. > I told her so during our next phone conversation. She cancelled > our next date. > > So here's the poll. Do I : > > #1 Forget completely about dating meat eating women, > #2 Start out by taking them to veg restaurants only, > #3 Go to any restaurant with a meat-eater, and state my > principles (something along the lines of " I'd really like to pay for > your meal, but I'm vegan " ); > #4 Categorically avoid dinner or lunch dates until an intimate > relationship has developed. > > Incidentally, my mother is claiming that I'm cheap and that I've > found a new avenue for rationalization. I am cheap, so she has > a point - but I do consider myself a committed vegan, becoming > more so each day. This is one of the many tests I will encounter, > I suspect. > > I am very interested to hear your responses. Thanks, and I look > forward to chatting with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 It would seem that you would date the woman you have the most in common with... on all levels. As to your being " cheap " ... It would seem that you limit your options more so by being " cheap " than whether the woman is or is/not vegan. You get what you give. Give sparsly... reap sparsly. You don't have to have a lot, to give a lot. Blessings, Lifesinger ----- So here's the poll. Do I : > >#1 Forget completely about dating meat eating women, #2 Start out by taking >them to veg restaurants only, >#3 Go to any restaurant with a meat-eater, and state my principles >(something along the lines of " I'd really like to pay for >your meal, but I'm vegan " ); >#4 Categorically avoid dinner or lunch dates until an intimate relationship >has developed. > >Incidentally, my mother is claiming that I'm cheap and that I've found a >new avenue for rationalization. I am cheap, so she has a point - but I do >consider myself a committed vegan, becoming more so each day. This is one >of the many tests I will encounter, I suspect. > >I am very interested to hear your responses. Thanks, and I look forward to >chatting with you. _______________ Enjoy MSN 8 patented spam control and more with MSN 8 Dial-up Internet Service. Try it FREE for one month! http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/dialup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 ceasehate wrote: > > This is the first issue I have identified: I am a man, and the > gentlemanly thing to do on a dinner date is to pay for the > woman's meal. I recently took a woman out, however, and felt > that my ethics were compromised when I paid for her sea bass. > I told her so during our next phone conversation. She cancelled > our next date. Not all women are like that. Before we starting dating, I offered to buy my current GF a drink, and rejected her first choice (a Bailey's, which is substantially cream), explaining I was vegan. We still started going out a week or two later. She's still omnivorous, but is practically vegan around me. People vary in how much they will accomodate you. Just a thought - and I'm speculating wildly here - but it might not actually help impress your date that you didn't stick to your ethical code, but instead gave in at the time and complained about it afterwards. Or, then again, she wasn't going to date a vegan anyway. Any of your options are valid, although excluding meaties entirely is probably unnecessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2003 Report Share Posted October 27, 2003 I'm married to a meatie. A lot of compromise is necessary if a relationship with a non-vegan is ever going to work. Janey x Ian wrote:- > Any of your options are valid, although excluding meaties entirely is > probably unnecessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2003 Report Share Posted October 27, 2003 hi all, i have a meat eater partner and oh boy it can be difficult........if i had room for a second fridge, i would have one, because opening my fridge and seeing meat staring out at me is enough to put me off........i wrap his bigger pieces of meat in carrier bags but theres always bacon on the loose........and if its anywhere near my organic veg etc......yuch......... the boundaries are always grating against each other.........he drank soya milk for a while, because thats all i bought, but he now buys dairy.......... after 8 years, he still sighs sometimes when i put a vegan meal in front of him.........he is quite free to cook meat etc......but i think he hopes if he keeps on long enough, i will cook/eat meat....... catherine >"veganjaney" > > > Re: vegan dating >Mon, 27 Oct 2003 11:15:32 -0000 > >I'm married to a meatie. A lot of compromise is necessary if a >relationship with a non-vegan is ever going to work. > >Janey >x > >Ian wrote:- > > Any of your options are valid, although excluding meaties entirely >is > > probably unnecessary. > Stay connected whilst on the move. Now you can get Hotmail sent directly to your mobile phone. Click here for details. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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