Guest guest Posted December 6, 2006 Report Share Posted December 6, 2006 Putin Denies Being `Anywhere Near' Taco Bell Calls Linking Him to E-Coli Outbreak `Pure Fantasy' By Andy Browitz Russian President Vladimir Putin lashed out today at accusers who have pointed the finger at him in recent days for the outbreak of e- coli infections at several Taco Bell restaurants in New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania. President Putin, already on the defensive over accusations that he poisoned former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko with radioactive sushi, held a press conference at the Kremlin today to offer his categorical denial of any involvement in the Taco Bell poisonings. " I have not been anywhere near Taco Bell, " a visibly angry Mr. Putin told reporters. " Anyone who says I have done so is trading in pure fantasy. " But despite Mr. Putin's vehement statements to the contrary, several restaurant managers of the Taco Bell chain said that they saw a balding man resembling the Russian President skulking around their restaurants in recent days. " I saw this sneaky-looking guy in a trench coat carrying a test tube of something funky and I was like, that is totally that evil Russian dude, " said Tracy Lamant, a manager of one of the New Jersey Taco Bells that was hit by the e-coli outbreak. But according to Davis Logsdon, who heads up the University of Minnesota's Institute of International Espionage, it is " highly unlikely " that Mr. Putin would start the spread of e-coli at Taco Bell restaurants in order to murder former Russian spies. " First of all, there's no evidence that Russian spies eat American fast food, " Dr. Logsdon. " Secondly, if they do, they'll die pretty soon anyway. " Elsewhere, the Iraq Study Group published its report on the current state of Iraq, entitled " A Million Little Pieces. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 did you find this in " the Onion " ? greatyoga <greatyoga wrote: Putin Denies Being `Anywhere Near' Taco Bell Calls Linking Him to E-Coli Outbreak `Pure Fantasy' By Andy Browitz Russian President Vladimir Putin lashed out today at accusers who have pointed the finger at him in recent days for the outbreak of e- coli infections at several Taco Bell restaurants in New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania. President Putin, already on the defensive over accusations that he poisoned former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko with radioactive sushi, held a press conference at the Kremlin today to offer his categorical denial of any involvement in the Taco Bell poisonings. " I have not been anywhere near Taco Bell, " a visibly angry Mr. Putin told reporters. " Anyone who says I have done so is trading in pure fantasy. " But despite Mr. Putin's vehement statements to the contrary, several restaurant managers of the Taco Bell chain said that they saw a balding man resembling the Russian President skulking around their restaurants in recent days. " I saw this sneaky-looking guy in a trench coat carrying a test tube of something funky and I was like, that is totally that evil Russian dude, " said Tracy Lamant, a manager of one of the New Jersey Taco Bells that was hit by the e-coli outbreak. But according to Davis Logsdon, who heads up the University of Minnesota's Institute of International Espionage, it is " highly unlikely " that Mr. Putin would start the spread of e-coli at Taco Bell restaurants in order to murder former Russian spies. " First of all, there's no evidence that Russian spies eat American fast food, " Dr. Logsdon. " Secondly, if they do, they'll die pretty soon anyway. " Elsewhere, the Iraq Study Group published its report on the current state of Iraq, entitled " A Million Little Pieces. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 Kind of sounds like it, doesn't it! It really would be helpful when supposed " news " articles (or any article, for that matter) is posted, that a *link* to the site where found be also posted, so everyone can see for themselves where it came from. Actually, I think copyright laws kind of require it, don't they? At any rate, it would be nice to confirm this as being satire, which it sure sounds to be. Thia On 12/7/06, Danielle Saffell <danielle_saffell wrote: > > did you find this in " the Onion " ? > greatyoga <greatyoga <greatyoga%40>> wrote: Putin Denies > Being `Anywhere Near' Taco Bell > > Calls Linking Him to E-Coli Outbreak `Pure Fantasy' > > By Andy Browitz > > Russian President Vladimir Putin lashed out today at accusers who > have pointed the finger at him in recent days for the outbreak of e- > coli infections at several Taco Bell restaurants > <snip> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2006 Report Share Posted December 8, 2006 Thia I sent this in. It is definitely a parody. I thought it would be obvious but evidently not. Sorry. It is by Andy borowitz, a political parody writer. I put his name in the original post at the By line. GB , " Thia .... " <bipolyf wrote: > > Kind of sounds like it, doesn't it! It really would be helpful when > supposed " news " articles (or any article, for that matter) is posted, that a > *link* to the site where found be also posted, so everyone can see for > themselves where it came from. Actually, I think copyright laws kind of > require it, don't they? > > At any rate, it would be nice to confirm this as being satire, which it sure > sounds to be. > > Thia > > > On 12/7/06, Danielle Saffell <danielle_saffell wrote: > > > > did you find this in " the Onion " ? > > > > > > > greatyoga <greatyoga <greatyoga%40>> wrote: Putin Denies > > Being `Anywhere Near' Taco Bell > > > > Calls Linking Him to E-Coli Outbreak `Pure Fantasy' > > > > By Andy Browitz > > > > Russian President Vladimir Putin lashed out today at accusers who > > have pointed the finger at him in recent days for the outbreak of e- > > coli infections at several Taco Bell restaurants > > > > > > > > > > <snip> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2006 Report Share Posted December 8, 2006 It was obvious and very funny, thanks for sending GB Peace, Diane , " greatyoga " <greatyoga wrote: > > Thia > > I sent this in. It is definitely a parody. I thought it would be > obvious but evidently not. Sorry. It is by Andy borowitz, a > political parody writer. I put his name in the original post at the > By line. > > GB > , " Thia .... " <bipolyf@> > wrote: > > > > Kind of sounds like it, doesn't it! It really would be helpful > when > > supposed " news " articles (or any article, for that matter) is > posted, that a > > *link* to the site where found be also posted, so everyone can see > for > > themselves where it came from. Actually, I think copyright laws > kind of > > require it, don't they? > > > > At any rate, it would be nice to confirm this as being satire, > which it sure > > sounds to be. > > > > Thia > > > > > > On 12/7/06, Danielle Saffell <danielle_saffell@> wrote: > > > > > > did you find this in " the Onion " ? > > > > > > > > > > > > > greatyoga <greatyoga@ <greatyoga%40>> wrote: Putin > Denies > > > Being `Anywhere Near' Taco Bell > > > > > > Calls Linking Him to E-Coli Outbreak `Pure Fantasy' > > > > > > By Andy Browitz > > > > > > Russian President Vladimir Putin lashed out today at accusers who > > > have pointed the finger at him in recent days for the outbreak > of e- > > > coli infections at several Taco Bell restaurants > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > <snip> > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2006 Report Share Posted December 9, 2006 I thought it was so funny that I e-mailed a copy to my husband and in-laws. Particularly like the part of the e-coli being unnecessary because if they were eating there they'd die soon anyway. Also like the part about the totally evil Russian dude. Debbie Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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