Ex now eats steak

[Guest guest]

HI vegan friends.

 

I haven't been around lately but I am coming today to share an experience and maybe you can help me feel better about it.

 

I have an old boyfriend...he came back to the states and had dinner with me and my mom tonight (no, it is just friendly with no intention of being together). Anyway...he started eating meat probably a year or so ago and tonight he ordered Pepper steak.

 

You know, it was hard for me to take. I could barely look at i. I am not sure why. It's not personal although it feels it. I just feel betrayed. LIke "who are you now? I thought I knew you". When we were together he was adamantly vegan. Sometimes more than me. It seems like everything he does is extremes. And now he is allergic to vegetarians and eats STEAK.

 

Anyone have a similar experience? Why does it feel bad? I feel abandoned in my lifestyle and beliefs...kind of a lone, I guess. And I don't feel I can trust him even though it isn't directed at me.

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

 

Soliel

[Guest guest]

I think your feelings are normal and understandable. It is always

disappointing when someone changes away from something you

like/admire/hold dear.

 

There is nothing you can do about it - so just accept that the change

has happened. Try not to waste your time thinking about it.

 

Jo

 

, lv2breathe@a... wrote:

> HI vegan friends.

>

> I haven't been around lately but I am coming today to share an

experience

> and maybe you can help me feel better about it.

>

> I have an old boyfriend...he came back to the states and had

dinner with me

> and my mom tonight (no, it is just friendly with no intention of

being

> together). Anyway...he started eating meat probably a year or so

ago and tonight

> he ordered Pepper steak.

>

> You know, it was hard for me to take. I could barely look at i.

I am not

> sure why. It's not personal although it feels it. I just feel

betrayed.

> LIke " who are you now? I thought I knew you " . When we were

together he was

> adamantly vegan. Sometimes more than me. It seems like everything

he does is

> extremes. And now he is allergic to vegetarians and eats STEAK.

>

> Anyone have a similar experience? Why does it feel bad? I feel

abandoned in

> my lifestyle and beliefs...kind of a lone, I guess. And I don't

feel I can

> trust him even though it isn't directed at me.

>

> Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

>

> Soliel

[Guest guest]

It has just occurred to me that my post might be offensive.

 

We all know people we care about who eat meat. I am not wishing any ill on these people. And it seems that many on this board are making the transition and that is great!

 

My ex just KNOWS better. He is willfully doing it knowing better. So that is why it made me feel better...not that I wish something terrible happen to him, I don't.

 

K

 

In a message dated 7/2/05 7:03:46 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time, writes:

Message: 14 Fri, 01 Jul 2005 19:09:28 -0000 "happyyogi2003" <lv2breatheRe: Ex now eats steakThanks for all of your replies.Last night I was feeling kind of bummed about it so after dinner I pulled out some of my veg books and read. One of them was "the Higher Taste". In it they talk about how meat eating is intimately related to war and other sufferings and that when one eats meat they are inflicting negative karma on themselves. In other words, they are not getting away with it.Shamefully, this made me feel better! So bad. :PHe also curiously asked about the new animal sanctuary going up near LA. We both knew the couple who started the original one. If he says he wants to go, I am going to say "why? You are not veg anymore" I don't think he should be able to have it both ways. Eat meat out of his own selfish desire AND be seen as someone who supposedly cares about farm animals. I'll out him fast if he tries that. , Ed Murray <mail@a...> wrote:> Hi this is my first post to the list. (Actually second but my first mail> got swallowed up by the list gods. Spam filter maybe?).> > Soleil, yes I know exactly how you feel. I have two ex-girlfriends who> were vegetarian and one of those was vegan. The vegan one was much more> outspoken than me and would often breath fire & brimstone down onto> unwitting carnivores who had made a joke or passed a derogatory comment.> When I was just starting out I guess I was the same but have mellowed a> bit after having been vegan for some 7 years or so. But I have to admit> I felt pretty betrayed when she informed me that she was eating meat> again. Did she do it knowing that this was one of the best ways to get> at me? Quite possibly I think. > It hurt more than the break up.> > Regards> Ed.> > On Fri, 2005-07-01 at 00:07 -0400, lv2breathe@a... wrote:> > HI vegan friends.> > > > I haven't been around lately but I am coming today to share an> > experience and maybe you can help me feel better about it.> > > > I have an old boyfriend...he came back to the states and had dinner> > with me and my mom tonight (no, it is just friendly with no intention> > of being together). Anyway...he started eating meat probably a year> > or so ago and tonight he ordered Pepper steak.> > > > You know, it was hard for me to take. I could barely look at i.> > I am not sure why. It's not personal although it feels it. I just> > feel betrayed. LIke "who are you now? I thought I knew you". When> > we were together he was adamantly vegan. Sometimes more than me. It> > seems like everything he does is extremes. And now he is allergic to> > vegetarians and eats STEAK. > > > > Anyone have a similar experience? Why does it feel bad? I feel> > abandoned in my lifestyle and beliefs...kind of a lone, I guess. And I> > don't feel I can trust him even though it isn't directed at me.> > > > Thanks in advance for your thoughts.> > > > Soliel> > > > > > > > To send an email to> > -

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi there

 

When I mean "allergic" I mean he is repulsed by them when he used to be one! For example, the last time I visited him he made hostile jokes about vegetarians. It was really strange. Maybe it's a case of extremes. His personality tends to do things in extreme all the way or no way at all. He was that way as a vegan and now as a non-vegan.

 

I am glad you are tolerant. I am totally grateful for vegans but many are not tolerant. It's totally understandable, though. With all the suffering at the forefront of your mind it is really hard to be so. I know I wasn't for a long time but I am better now...mostly because I have received intolerance from others and that was a good lesson. It doesn't feel good and I don't wish to put that on others. Still, I think vegans are on the right track to be sure. It's not easy to be a vegan in this world.

 

 

Kristina

 

 

 

 

In a message dated 7/2/05 9:17:37 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time, writes:

Message: 5 Sat, 2 Jul 2005 15:34:56 +0100 (BST) peter hurd <swpgh01Re: Ex now eats steakSolielAllergic to vegetarians?! If there is one thing I have learned as a long time vegan, its tollerance of others, and hope in return that they will tollerate me and then mutual respect can follow. You will not change anyones mind by going on the offensive, only by rationally discussing your point of view when asked.My wife is a dead flesh eater, and I have lived with her habits for 13 years. I don`t like it when she eats an animals remains, but she does get lots of hastle from our two vegie children, who haven`t learnt tolerance yet!She is well aware of my beliefs and respect them, that is why we co-exist so well.The Valley Vegan.........lv2breathe wrote:HI vegan friends.I haven't been around lately but I am coming today to share an experience and maybe you can help me feel better about it.I have an old boyfriend...he came back to the states and had dinner with me and my mom tonight (no, it is just friendly with no intention of being together). Anyway...he started eating meat probably a year or so ago and tonight he ordered Pepper steak.You know, it was hard for me to take. I could barely look at i. I am not sure why. It's not personal although it feels it. I just feel betrayed. LIke "who are you now? I thought I knew you". When we were together he was adamantly vegan. Sometimes more than me. It seems like everything he does is extremes. And now he is allergic to vegetarians and eats STEAK. Anyone have a similar experience? Why does it feel bad? I feel abandoned in my lifestyle and beliefs...kind of a lone, I guess. And I don't feel I can trust him even though it isn't directed at me.Thanks in advance for your thoughts.Soliel

 

 

[Guest guest]

Soliel

Allergic to vegetarians?! If there is one thing I have learned as a long time vegan, its tollerance of others, and hope in return that they will tollerate me and then mutual respect can follow. You will not change anyones mind by going on the offensive, only by rationally discussing your point of view when asked.

My wife is a dead flesh eater, and I have lived with her habits for 13 years. I don`t like it when she eats an animals remains, but she does get lots of hastle from our two vegie children, who haven`t learnt tolerance yet!

She is well aware of my beliefs and respect them, that is why we co-exist so well.

 

The Valley Vegan.........lv2breathe wrote:

 

 

HI vegan friends.

 

I haven't been around lately but I am coming today to share an experience and maybe you can help me feel better about it.

 

I have an old boyfriend...he came back to the states and had dinner with me and my mom tonight (no, it is just friendly with no intention of being together). Anyway...he started eating meat probably a year or so ago and tonight he ordered Pepper steak.

 

You know, it was hard for me to take. I could barely look at i. I am not sure why. It's not personal although it feels it. I just feel betrayed. LIke "who are you now? I thought I knew you". When we were together he was adamantly vegan. Sometimes more than me. It seems like everything he does is extremes. And now he is allergic to vegetarians and eats STEAK.

 

Anyone have a similar experience? Why does it feel bad? I feel abandoned in my lifestyle and beliefs...kind of a lone, I guess. And I don't feel I can trust him even though it isn't directed at me.

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

 

SolielTo send an email to - Peter H

 

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[Guest guest]

Hi Kristina,

 

I agree with you there. There are alot of extremist Vegans out

there, just as there are in every belief. But this is a very

tolerant group filled with a lot of great people. If it weren't for

this group when I first started out on my Vegan journey, I would not

have had the strength I did. I'm not saying I would have failed, but

they did make things (and still do) a lot easier.

 

I've been told before because of my carniverous family that I am

not " true to the cause " or a " true Vegan " . " No true Vegan would live

with others who ate meat. " Yet when I first became a Vegan and told

the man I had been with for 8 years at the time, after the initial

shock wore off there was complete support. Now, I can't say that he

was overjoyed at the new task at hand and the extra money spent to

get the fridge up to par, but he was there with a helping hand

through it all and still is. So there is no way that I could ever

turn my back on him for his choices. That wasn't in the vows we took.

 

The best way I have found in explaining my beliefs is not explaining

them at all. Letting others ask the questions always seem to make

them want to know more about veganism rather than putting out a

speech. Once they find out I am Vegan, they are filled with

questions only because it is something they do not understand and

they want to. They are filled with curiosity on why someone would do

this and what I can and do eat. That usually leads to a thoughful

conversation and at the end they are always still amazed. And then

there are some who are touched by it and share their own stories of

how they tried to be a vegetarian, or try to eat as little meat as

possible, or saw a story on this or that. No matter what, it gives

them something to think about without going to extremes.

 

And one of the most fulfilling parts of all is if hubby is there and

the person mentions my " diet " and he turns aorund and says " It's not

a diet, it's a lifestyle choice " .

 

Nikki

 

, lv2breathe@a... wrote:

>

> Hi there

>

> When I mean " allergic " I mean he is repulsed by them when he used

to be one!

> For example, the last time I visited him he made hostile jokes

about

> vegetarians. It was really strange. Maybe it's a case of

extremes. His

> personality tends to do things in extreme all the way or no way

at all. He was that

> way as a vegan and now as a non-vegan.

>

> I am glad you are tolerant. I am totally grateful for vegans but

many are

> not tolerant. It's totally understandable, though. With all the

suffering at

> the forefront of your mind it is really hard to be so. I know I

wasn't for a

> long time but I am better now...mostly because I have received

intolerance

> from others and that was a good lesson. It doesn't feel good and

I don't wish

> to put that on others. Still, I think vegans are on the right

track to be

> sure. It's not easy to be a vegan in this world.

>

>

> Kristina

[Guest guest]

Maybe he is repulsed, as you put it , because on a sub concious level he is overcompensating his sense of guilt - being an ex-vegan?

You are right it is not really a vegan friendly society, but you learn that you cant change the world by yourself, but every little does help.Every penny you spend on a vegan company , or converseley , every penny you stop spending on non enviromentally friendly, unethical, companies without concience, does make a difference.I have to believe this, it keeps me going.

 

The Valley Vegan.........lv2breathe wrote:

 

 

 

Hi there

 

When I mean "allergic" I mean he is repulsed by them when he used to be one! For example, the last time I visited him he made hostile jokes about vegetarians. It was really strange. Maybe it's a case of extremes. His personality tends to do things in extreme all the way or no way at all. He was that way as a vegan and now as a non-vegan.

 

I am glad you are tolerant. I am totally grateful for vegans but many are not tolerant. It's totally understandable, though. With all the suffering at the forefront of your mind it is really hard to be so. I know I wasn't for a long time but I am better now...mostly because I have received intolerance from others and that was a good lesson. It doesn't feel good and I don't wish to put that on others. Still, I think vegans are on the right track to be sure. It's not easy to be a vegan in this world.

 

 

Kristina

 

 

 

 

In a message dated 7/2/05 9:17:37 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time, writes:

Message: 5 Sat, 2 Jul 2005 15:34:56 +0100 (BST) peter hurd <swpgh01Re: Ex now eats steakSolielAllergic to vegetarians?! If there is one thing I have learned as a long time vegan, its tollerance of others, and hope in return that they will tollerate me and then mutual respect can follow. You will not change anyones mind by going on the offensive, only by rationally discussing your point of view when asked.My wife is a dead flesh eater, and I have lived with her habits for 13 years. I don`t like it when she eats an animals remains, but she does get lots of hastle from our two vegie children, who haven`t learnt tolerance yet!She is well aware of my beliefs and respect them, that is why we co-exist so

well.The Valley Vegan.........lv2breathe wrote:HI vegan friends.I haven't been around lately but I am coming today to share an experience and maybe you can help me feel better about it.I have an old boyfriend...he came back to the states and had dinner with me and my mom tonight (no, it is just friendly with no intention of being together). Anyway...he started eating meat probably a year or so ago and tonight he ordered Pepper steak.You know, it was hard for me to take. I could barely look at i. I am not sure why. It's not personal although it feels it. I just feel betrayed. LIke "who are you now? I thought I knew you". When we were together he was adamantly vegan. Sometimes more than me. It seems like everything he does is extremes. And now he is allergic to vegetarians and eats STEAK. Anyone have a similar experience? Why does it feel bad?

I feel abandoned in my lifestyle and beliefs...kind of a lone, I guess. And I don't feel I can trust him even though it isn't directed at me.Thanks in advance for your thoughts.Soliel

 

To send an email to - Peter H

 

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[Guest guest]

HiNikki

 

That's a load of rubbish. You are only responsible for your own decisions.

Would they consider it ethical to dump your husband?

 

BB

Jo

 

>> I've been told before because of my carniverous family that I am

> not " true to the cause " or a " true Vegan " . " No true Vegan would live

> with others who ate meat. "

[Guest guest]

Hi Jo

 

I couldn't agree more!

 

To me, people like that in any belief are wearing blinders. They are

too busy seeing their way is the only way and missing so much around

them.

 

Don't get me wrong, I wish the whole world to be Vegan, but I'll

settle for slowing changing one thing at a time. Tis better than

losing everything!

 

Nikki

 

 

, " Jo Cwazy " <heartwork@c...> wrote:

> HiNikki

>

> That's a load of rubbish. You are only responsible for your own

decisions.

> Would they consider it ethical to dump your husband?

>

> BB

> Jo

>

> >> I've been told before because of my carniverous family that I am

> > not " true to the cause " or a " true Vegan " . " No true Vegan would

live

> > with others who ate meat. "