Guest guest Posted July 29, 2005 Report Share Posted July 29, 2005 ONE - Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.TWO - A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."THREE - A distraught young lady was weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" As she handed me the car keys, I replied "Hmmm, I dunno." I took the key and manually unlocked the door, then I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FOUR - One day an intern who was not too swift was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?Just use the copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. FIVE - A car dealership received a large motor home into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.SIX - Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.SEVEN - A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him to emergency!Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."______________________ Terri Auzenne Quality and Patient Safety Resources Texas Health Resources 611 Ryan Plaza, Suite 1400 Arlington, TX 76011 (817) 462-6151 (817) 462-7436 fax terriauzenne The information contained in this message and any attachments is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed, and may contain information that is PRIVILEGED, CONFIDENTIAL, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are prohibited from copying, distributing, or using the information. Please contact the sender immediately by return e-mail and delete the original message from your system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2005 Report Share Posted July 29, 2005 Thanks so much Lynda! I really needed a good laugh! JonnieLynda <lurine wrote: ONE - Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2005 Report Share Posted July 29, 2005 A long time ago, back before I went vegan, I cruised through a McDonald's drive thru and ordered a milkshake. The kid at the counter gave me a carton of milk and when I tried to get what I ordered he insisted that I had ordered milk. It dawned on me that maybe this guy didn't realized there's supposed to be milk in a "shake." Love, Anna - Lynda Undisclosed-Recipient: 7/29/2005 11:07:29 AM Fw: These people must of worked at WFU ONE - Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.TWO - A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."THREE - A distraught young lady was weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" As she handed me the car keys, I replied "Hmmm, I dunno." I took the key and manually unlocked the door, then I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FOUR - One day an intern who was not too swift was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?Just use the copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. FIVE - A car dealership received a large motor home into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.SIX - Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.SEVEN - A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him to emergency!Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."______________________ Terri Auzenne Quality and Patient Safety Resources Texas Health Resources 611 Ryan Plaza, Suite 1400 Arlington, TX 76011 (817) 462-6151 (817) 462-7436 fax terriauzenne The information contained in this message and any attachments is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed, and may contain information that is PRIVILEGED, CONFIDENTIAL, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are prohibited from copying, distributing, or using the information. Please contact the sender immediately by return e-mail and delete the original message from your system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2005 Report Share Posted July 29, 2005 Origins: The colander lie detector story has been part of oral lore since at least the late 1960s. So far, the oldest print sighting comes from an article in the 22 June 1977 edition of the Philadelphia Inquirer, which attributed the tale to "a small police department in the county." A version placing the action in Radnor, Pennsylvania, appeared in News of the Weird in 1989. (No source was given, so it's now impossible to say where News of the Weird picked up the tale from.) The Radnor version is by far the one most familiar to the online community. It routinely circulates in cyberspace, going through periods of dormancy followed by moments of revival when it seemingly makes its way into every inbox imaginable. In an attempt to verify or prove the story false, folklorist Jan Brunvand contacted the Radnor Police Department. Their 10 October 1990 response stated: The fake lie detector incident referred to in your letter did not happen in Radnor. We do not know how the story originated; however, over the years, we have received numerous letters inquiring about this incident. Articles have been sent to us which appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, and other publications. Our guess is is that some reporter had the story and used Radnor as the place of occurrence. Sincerely,Maurice L. HennessyChief of Police, Radnor Township Throughout the years, this story has popped in various "dumb criminals" or "true tales of the legal profession" books, as well as surfacing every now and then in the media. Its popularity continues undimmed, with Ann Landers airing it in her 4 January 1998 column. Could the story have happened? It's a remote possibility, and certainly police are tricky enough to want to try something like this, but one has to wonder about the metal colander detail. Though it's reasonable to expect to find cups, plates, and cutlery in a workplace kitchenette, food preparation items are far less common. Colanders are used to drain cooked pasta or wash salad ingredients; they're not exactly standard implements in even home kitchens. Neither pasta draining nor lettuce rinsing are activities usual to a workplace setting, with the vast majority of lunch-bearers preferring to bring already-prepared meals to work, items that are ready-to-eat or require only a quick heating in the office microwave. In other words, no matter how resourceful the officers were, they'd have had a time laying their hands on a colander to use in this deception. TV police shows and movies routinely feature suspects being subjected to lie detector examinations. For the colander lie detector story to ring true, we have to suppose the hapless bad guy not only was unaware that results are not given as the test proceeds (hence no machine spitting out "He's lying" notes), but also that all those guys on the big screen didn't have metal colanders (or anything else) placed on their heads. It would take a truly dim bulb indeed not to realize something was terribly wrong with how the police were going about this interrogation. Or that the printing device looked remarkably like a photocopier. It's still possible some police department somewhere did indeed act out this legend at one time or another. Judging from the numerous verifiable "dumb criminal" stories afoot, no shortage exists of baddies who would willingly fall for it. But did it happen in as many places as now claimed? Very likely not -- in common with a number of urban legends, numerous enthusiastic raconteurs have "localized" the tale by inserting the name of a nearby town. Police departments everywhere have claimed this story as their own, perhaps as a way of reassuring themselves that the good guys do indeed win and their officers in particular are always two steps ahead of the criminals. Barbara "wry detector" Mikkelson Sightings: This legend formed part of the plot of an episode of television's Homicide. "God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the Andes and I had to eat him." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2005 Report Share Posted July 30, 2005 Hi Anna > A long time ago, back before I went vegan, I cruised through a McDonald's drive thru and ordered a milkshake. The kid at the > counter gave me a carton of milk and when I tried to get what I ordered he insisted that I had ordered milk. It dawned on me that > maybe this guy didn't realized there's supposed to be milk in a "shake." This reminds me of the fantastic line from the Jeeves & Wooster TV series a few years ago (sadly not in the books).... Jeeves orders something to eat in an American cafe, and the waitress says "do you wanna shake with that?" Jeeves thinks for a moment and says "No thank you, I'll just sit here quietly" :-) BB Peter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2005 Report Share Posted July 30, 2005 Anti-authoritarian parrot: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1536639,00.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2005 Report Share Posted July 30, 2005 I wonder if they'll try teaching him nicer words and ignoring the bad ones - he won't use them if people ignore him. Jo - Michael Benis Saturday, July 30, 2005 12:20 PM RE: Fw: These people must of worked at WFU Anti-authoritarian parrot: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1536639,00.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2005 Report Share Posted July 30, 2005 I can't think why the guy didn't take the bird to Australia. Better weather for a Macaw. Maybe he couldn't take the cage on the plane... On Behalf Of Jo Cwazy30 July 2005 14:42 Subject: Re: Fw: These people must of worked at WFU I wonder if they'll try teaching him nicer words and ignoring the bad ones - he won't use them if people ignore him. Jo - Michael Benis Saturday, July 30, 2005 12:20 PM RE: Fw: These people must of worked at WFU Anti-authoritarian parrot: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1536639,00.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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