coming for dinner- to *tell* or *not* to tell

[Guest guest]

Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware. I

am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

 

Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

 

-trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

Cathy

[Guest guest]

I always off to bring along a vegetarian entree and offer a veggie or salad too

if they would like me to. That way you know you are going to get a balanced

meal where everything is prepared in a vegetarian manner. Most of the hosts of

these dinner appreicate it being more of a potluck, so they don't have to do all

the cooking. I bet you'll find many that want to try the things you brought.

We invited folks over for dinner often and they aren't vegetarians. They always

love the food we prepare..........Well I'm off to bed if my body will let me

sleep. It it always strange, that when we are tossing and turning and yet so

dead dog died.

-

chinamomwsj

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 12:45 AM

coming for dinner- to *tell* or *not* to tell

 

 

Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware. I

am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

 

Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

 

-trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

Cathy

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Cathy,

 

This is what I would do, it may be wrong or impolite but what I would do.

 

I would not mention your status as to not put a burden on the host. I would

though bring my own wonderfull recipe to share as part of the meal and when

asked explain then that I am a vegetarian.

 

My family and I were at a dinner tonight and I am the only person out of the

20 or so that were there that does not eat meat. My husband made spanakopita

(sp?) pastry with spinach and cheese. There was also a saled and veggies and

such. Plenty of things that I did not feel bad about not eating the main

feature. Tomorrow, I am making a great salad, a potato dish and a desert. My

husband is making ham. When we go to dinner there will be enough for me to eat

that I won't make others feel like I am missing something by not having ham.

 

Hope the long novel helps you with a decision. Best wishes, Jenn

 

chinamomwsj <chinamomwsj wrote:

Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware. I

am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

 

Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

 

-trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

Cathy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

I always take a dish and when I present it to the person hosting the

party I make a quick mention that I'm vegetarian. It's very common now

and I doubt you will have any confrontation. Most of the time no one

even notices I haven't eaten turkey or gravy on my plate since I fill

it up with side dishes, veggies and condiments.

You will always run into a rude person here and there that loves to

pick at your new lifestyle.

 

Fiona

 

, " chinamomwsj "

<chinamomwsj wrote:

>

> Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware.

I

> am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

> the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

>

> Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

> on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

> silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

>

> -trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

> Cathy

>

[Guest guest]

I think in this day and age people can appreciate a person coming out

and being open about life changes. Especially if someone has a serious

food allergy, etc. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Take a side dish with you so you can add a good portion to your dinner

plate.

Good luck and enjoy your meal!

 

Brad

 

> , " chinamomwsj "

> <chinamomwsj@> wrote:

> >

> > Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent

aware.

> I

> > am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner

since

> > the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

> >

> > Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a

burden

> > on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

> > silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

> >

> > -trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

> > Cathy

[Guest guest]

Hi Cathy,

 

As a hostess I would want to know. I would not want to spend time

cooking something that my guest would not like. If they are unsure

what to cook for you, you could offer to bring something or even make

simple suggestions that they could cook. I usually offer to bring

something and it works out fine. My G'ma didn't like it the first few

times but I think she thought I wasn't going to eat anything of hers.

Once she saw I'd eat all the sides, just not the meat, she mellowed

out. Cooking for and feeding people is part of her identity and she

felt rejected for a bit.

 

Peace,

Diane

 

 

, " chinamomwsj "

<chinamomwsj wrote:

>

> Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware. I

> am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

> the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

>

> Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

> on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

> silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

>

> -trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

> Cathy

>

[Guest guest]

casually mention that you are following a veg diet and would love to

bring a salad, rice dish, whatever, etc. I found it more awkward not

to tell ahead of time because then you are on the spot when they pass

you the roast beast, or worse have things already plated and you leave

the whole piece of meat, Happy holidays, hope all goes well!

melissa p

 

 

, " strayfeather1 "

<otherbox2001 wrote:

>

> Hi Cathy,

>

> As a hostess I would want to know. I would not want to spend time

> cooking something that my guest would not like. If they are unsure

> what to cook for you, you could offer to bring something or even make

> simple suggestions that they could cook. I usually offer to bring

> something and it works out fine. My G'ma didn't like it the first few

> times but I think she thought I wasn't going to eat anything of hers.

> Once she saw I'd eat all the sides, just not the meat, she mellowed

> out. Cooking for and feeding people is part of her identity and she

> felt rejected for a bit.

>

> Peace,

> Diane

>

>

> , " chinamomwsj "

> <chinamomwsj@> wrote:

> >

> > Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent

aware. I

> > am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

> > the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

> >

> > Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

> > on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

> > silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

> >

> > -trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

> > Cathy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Here's my 2 cents since I have been a vegetarian for

35 years.

 

I always inform those who invite me to have a meal

with them that I am a vegetarian. That way, they don't

buy an extra portion of meat for me, then are

disappointed when I turn it down.

 

I let them know I am perfectly happy with whatever

vegetable side dishes they plan to serve, and offer to

bring a vegetable dish, too. I've brought salads to

dinners based around bbq and grilled meats that

freaked the carnivores out...they came back for

seconds and thirds, and told me they did not know

vegetarian dishes could taste so good. I hope by

bringing a really delicious vegetarian dish I may coax

somebody to the " other side " .

 

Last night, I had a long conversation with 2 people

who worship their dogs, and realize animals have

spirits and souls. Both have long considered becoming

vegetarian. They love animals so much, I tried to give

them another gentle nudge towards giving up meat, and

suggested they educate themselves via the internet,

watch " Meet Your Meat " and learn about what they were

putting into their bodies.

 

I told them about the great actor James Cromwell, who

played the farmer in the classic movie " Babe " [also

recently played Ruth's complex second husband in the

great series " Six Feet Under " ]. After working with

pigs, cows, sheep and ducks for months on the movie,

Mr. Cromwell stopped eating meat forever, and

frequently speaks about his conversion at vegetarian

and PETA events.

[Guest guest]

It is my opinion that you should always tell the host of the gathering of your

dietary

differences; it is just the polite thing to do. Imagine if you were the host of

a party, and a

guest was allergic to something and didn't tell you. You would perhaps feel

badly if you

had not made some arrangements for there to be something they could eat.

However, it is

also best never to demand the host to make you something special. Assure them

you are

only telling them so they will understand why you are bringing along a few

veggie dishes

to share, if they don't mind. If they would rather make something for you

instead, then

graciously accept.

 

~ PT ~

 

One kind word can warm three winter months.

~ Japanese proverb

~~~*~~~*~~~>

, " chinamomwsj " <chinamomwsj wrote:

>

> Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware. I

> am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

> the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

>

> Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

> on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

> silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

>

> -trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

> Cathy

>

[Guest guest]

I always did very well by telling the host first that I was vegan. I

also told them not to worry about cooking for me. I told them if they

just provided a plain steamed or boiled vegetable I would provide a

dish to accompany their meal that all could eat and it would not be a

problem. Most were fine with that arrangement and as long as I was

comfortable and did not make a big deal about things, neither did

anyone else. People also found that what I brought was very tasty and

not as strange as their imaginations had led them to believe.

 

I always found that my attitude could make or break the situation.

When I was easy going everything was fine. On the few occasions I was

uncomfortable, so was everyone else. Therefore, I made it my goal to

be comfortable, even if that meant eating a large meal at home before I

left and eating lightly of the offered items at the event on those

occasions for whatever reason I did not bring a dish to share.

 

Have fun!

 

Jo-Ann

 

, " chinamomwsj "

<chinamomwsj wrote:

>

> Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware.

I

> am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

> the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

>

> Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

> on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

> silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

>

> -trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

> Cathy

>

[Guest guest]

Eating a light meal before I go to someone else's house allows me to not mention

I am a vegetarian. There is always salad or veges served and I decline meat

servings by just saying 'meat does not seem to agree with me today " . I also

take vegatarian dishes to potlucks, I just don't use TVP or Tofu in them since

this seems to scare people. These items do not seem to appeal to meat eaters or

people who are afraid of trying something new. You can also volunteer to bring

a side dish when you are invited to someone's home. If you do not tell people

your dish is " vegetarians " they just eat it. I think non-vegetarians think

everything we eat is some sort of tasteless artifical food. I make lasagna, I

do not call it vegatarian lasagna. Everyone eats it. LOL Wanda

 

 

ligtstar <jo-ann wrote:

I always did very well by telling the host first that I was vegan. I

also told them not to worry about cooking for me. I told them if they

just provided a plain steamed or boiled vegetable I would provide a

dish to accompany their meal that all could eat and it would not be a

problem. Most were fine with that arrangement and as long as I was

comfortable and did not make a big deal about things, neither did

anyone else. People also found that what I brought was very tasty and

not as strange as their imaginations had led them to believe.

 

I always found that my attitude could make or break the situation.

When I was easy going everything was fine. On the few occasions I was

uncomfortable, so was everyone else. Therefore, I made it my goal to

be comfortable, even if that meant eating a large meal at home before I

left and eating lightly of the offered items at the event on those

occasions for whatever reason I did not bring a dish to share.

 

Have fun!

 

Jo-Ann

 

, " chinamomwsj "

<chinamomwsj wrote:

>

> Since I am a new Vegetarian most my friends and family arent aware.

I

> am wondering what is the best approach when invited for dinner since

> the host would be unaware of my vegetarian status.

>

> Do you mention that you are vegetarian and thus perhaps put a burden

> on the host to have a veggie alternative???? *OR* do you remain

> silent then politely refuse the meat main dish?????????

>

> -trying to avoid a faux paus :-O

> Cathy

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

I'm confused by some of the comments, and even the

question.

 

Is there something " negative " about being vegetarian?

Why would you not tell someone who invited you for a

meal not to go the expense ad trouble of buying and

preparing meat for you?

 

I'm proud I am vegetarian! I'm 57, and been a

vegetarian since I was 19 years old. I've never spent

a day of my life in a hospital. The only surgery I

have ever had is on a bone in my foot...nothing to do

with diet.

 

I work, I run, and I travel all over the world. I

attribute my level of activity and health to a

lifelong discipline of vegetarian diet and daily

exercise.

 

I believe it's important to share knowledge, great

recipes and positive experiences with those unfamiliar

with the amazing benefits of a vegetarian diet.

 

Maybe bcause I live in LA, i rarely get a hard time

about it, but occasionally I do. The husband of a

great friend of mine always offers me meat, although I

have known them for at least ten years. He's just a

stubborn, ornery kind of guy. After offering me duck,

which he knew I would not eat, he challenged a lady I

was seated next to at Christmas Eve dinner, " You're

not one of those VEGETARIANS are you? Because I have a

big rack of venison I plan to make next weekend... "

Then he gave me a dirty look.

 

Do I care? No. That man has been having terrible

gastrointestinal problems, relentless headaches and

escalating health problems the past two years, and

he's not even 50. His skin looks green, he has a bad

disposition, bad temper, and seems unhappy. He can

take the venison, I'll take the good health, kind

folks.

 

Long live vegetarians!

[Guest guest]

I was about 30 when I became a vegetarian...I did not know that others thought

it strange seemed natural did not like meats much anyway. so I just brought a

wonderful greenbean caserole to dinner and told them all at once. I have a huge

family. My sister worried about what to fix for me. I told her to wait and see

what would arrive for the meal and I would fill it in. I did not have to. My

youngest sister did a scaloped potatoes without ham and served warmed cubes next

to it for those who wanted them. oldest sister always does a wonderful fruit

salad. another older sister can not cook so brings a tossed salad. she did

boiled eggs to go in it for added protein. another sister can boil an egg so she

did deviled eggs and well of course the meat dishes all showed up in there

to...my sisters in law did not get the message lol...and yes if you want any of

the recipes for the afore mentioned can give them later...so the best way to

tell your folks is straight out..tell them why as

well. mine was health I was only eating meat once or twice a week...if you are

going to eat it rule of thumb is every other day at least or the acid the

stomach produces to break down the meat will break down your stomach lining so

folks get ulcers that way...I quit just short of a bleeding ulcer so it was mend

as I went. in which case you want to eat plain vegetables with little or no

spices because the stomach works hard to break down some spices as well. I

recently started taking neurontin for my pain and it was causing acid reflux by

eliminating a lot of the spices I love I was able to adjust to the medicine

better and can add the spices back later right now its plain vegies and avoiding

the ones that cause gas of course...I also found chees and yogurt help a lot to

digest the food better so if you can do yogurt do it and a lot its a great snack

but can be an important part of a vegie diet if like me you are ovo/lacto and

that also helps you get enough protein

Pat

 

 

 

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