Guest guest Posted March 22, 2000 Report Share Posted March 22, 2000 Below is an article that appeared in SLATE magazine on 3/20/00. Some time ago, there was a discussion about how to politely decline meat when eating away from home or with relatives. I thought some of you would be interested in how Prudence responded to this request for help. Dear Prudence, My husband is a university professor, and we get many invitations to dinner parties, formal gatherings, and other social functions. He just started teaching at a university where showing up at things matters; he believes our presence at these functions is important to getting tenure, even if only marginally. Our problem is that we are now in the South, where they serve meat like it's going out of style. We are both vegetarians. Though we certainly don't expect people to tailor their menus to our personal preferences, how do we politely decline meat dishes without offending the host and hostess? Just to give you an example of our difficulty, at the last dinner party we attended I was seated next to the hostess. She absolutely raved about how good the main course was going to be. (She had hired the staff of a local restaurant to prepare her favorite meal.) I didn't want to be rude—she was the dean's wife, after all—so I ate a few bites of the Beef Wellington that was served. My husband did the same thing, and we got terribly sick afterward. How should we handle these situations? Any help would be much appreciated. —Lone Vegetarians in the Lone Star State Dear Lo, " Publish or perish " may be a truism in academia, but Prudie cannot believe its counterpart is " Eat meat or leave. " In the year 2000, with so many alternative lifestyles and beliefs, surely being a vegetarian cannot be a professional kiss of death. While it's one thing not to care for green beans, it's quite another to be made ill by beef. What if you had a severe allergy to nuts? You would not eat them just to be polite. Prudie suggests you utilize one of the following options. Where possible, eat what is served that is vegetarian and ignore what is not. Pushing food around on your plate will disguise the fact that something has remained untouched. If it's a smallish dinner party, give the hostess a heads-up about your dietary restrictions and offer to bring a substitute for you and your husband if she doesn't immediately offer to solve your problem. If a seatmate should be so rude as to ask why you've left something untouched, simply say you and your husband have been vegetarians for X number of years. In time, people will come to know this about you. Till then, Prudie implores you not to place so much importance on that kind of " fitting in, " and not to eat things you wouldn't choose for yourself at home. It would be too distressing to believe that tenure and tenderloin had any connection whatsoever. —Prudie, confidently Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2000 Report Share Posted March 22, 2000 this is truly bizarre! i can't imagine chowing cow just to save face - it seems ridiculous but i guess my husband doesn't have a big important job like hers ??? i would think the hostess would be less offended by a vegetarian, than just thinking the guests didn't like her meal since they only ate 2 bites and went home to puke!! lol > I didn't want to be > rude—she was the dean's wife, after all—so I ate a few bites of the Beef > Wellington that was served. My husband did the same thing, and we got > terribly sick afterward. How should we handle these situations? Any help > would be much appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2000 Report Share Posted March 23, 2000 It's the polite part that I'm not good at. If someone insists that I eat meat, I point out that to me it is the moral equivalent of cannibalism... t. > " M. J. Campbell " <mjcampbell > " M. J. Campbell " <mjcampbell > Wed, 22 Mar 2000 20:17:10 -0600 > <Veg-Recipes > > Re: Prudence addresses vegetarianism > > Think of this: Would you have done the same if you were allergic to it. > Most likely not! I've been in similar situations...it better to just > politely decline and say thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2000 Report Share Posted March 23, 2000 <LOL> Imagine the hostess' consternation if they DID get sick right there. I found the article sad that these people were so insecure they felt they had to sacrifice what they stand for at a stupid party. For goodness sake, what would they do on issues the others would probably feel were more " real! " ? What if they were carnivores and the hostess served liver? or chitlins? or fois gras? and it made them ill. Ahh, we could go on. Christine ----- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2000 Report Share Posted March 23, 2000 I'm new to the list...but just thought I would comment. Think of this: Would you have done the same if you were allergic to it. Most likely not! I've been in similar situations...it better to just politely decline and say thanks. Melanie Melanie J. Campbell Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Home: mjcampbel Work: mcampbel Webpage: http://mjc.iwarp.com/ Listowner: ottawa_equestrians > >> I didn't want to be >> rude—she was the dean's wife, after all—so I ate a few bites of the Beef >> Wellington that was served. My husband did the same thing, and we got >> terribly sick afterward. How should we handle these situations? Any help >> would be much appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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