Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 My ex girlfriend asked me for a threesome and I told her no. She also kept going on about giving me oral sex a lot, but I always declined. The first is because I refuse to have sex with people I am not in love with, the second was because I had only been dating her for 4 months and I didn't want to take advantage, or do anything that either of us would regret. She thought of sex being far more important than I did / do. If I dated a woman who didn't want to have sex, I would be happy to do this, more than happy in fact, because it would show me that the woman sees more in the relationship than sex, and I certainly want more than that. Sex isn't at all important to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 Richard It sounds like some lucky girl is in for a good relationship. Jo -- " All truth passes through 3 stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. " - Arthur Schopenhauer - " richard_19_m_uk " <iron_man_who_rules Sunday, January 06, 2002 2:20 AM cellibate men > My ex girlfriend asked me for a threesome and I told her no. She > also kept going on about giving me oral sex a lot, but I always > declined. The first is because I refuse to have sex with people I am > not in love with, the second was because I had only been dating her > for 4 months and I didn't want to take advantage, or do anything that > either of us would regret. She thought of sex being far more > important than I did / do. If I dated a woman who didn't want to > have sex, I would be happy to do this, more than happy in fact, > because it would show me that the woman sees more in the relationship > than sex, and I certainly want more than that. Sex isn't at all > important to me. > > > > To send an email to - > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 What a pity you are the age of one of my sons !!!! It is so refreshing to learn that some young people value the genuine emotion in a relationship rather than sex for the sake of the activity .I do hope you find a nice partner one day who appreciates you Angie - " richard_19_m_uk " <iron_man_who_rules Sunday, January 06, 2002 2:20 AM cellibate men > My ex girlfriend asked me for a threesome and I told her no. She > also kept going on about giving me oral sex a lot, but I always > declined. The first is because I refuse to have sex with people I am > not in love with, the second was because I had only been dating her > for 4 months and I didn't want to take advantage, or do anything that > either of us would regret. She thought of sex being far more > important than I did / do. If I dated a woman who didn't want to > have sex, I would be happy to do this, more than happy in fact, > because it would show me that the woman sees more in the relationship > than sex, and I certainly want more than that. Sex isn't at all > important to me. > > > > To send an email to - > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 sex isn't all important..but it tis fun *giggle* but..if you don't want to, then you shouldn't feel pressured..everyone at there own pace..if ya want to be celibate, be celibtae, ya want to have sex 24 times aday, go fer it..to each there own wot i damn noticed..when i'm in arelationship, my urge fer sex goes down, and i just want companionship and snuggleness..when i'm single..ummm...lets just say stooopid other thigs come to the front of my cerebrum.. *looks down* can we say bad fraggle?? ok..not bad..just horribly overly sexually active.... eeeeep!! om..wot does this have to do with veganism????????? *skips away* fraggle " Angie Wright " <angiewright wrote: >What a pity you are the age of one of my sons !!!! > It is so refreshing to learn that some young people value the genuine >emotion in a relationship rather than sex for the sake of the activity .I do >hope you find a nice partner one day who appreciates you > Angie > >- > " richard_19_m_uk " <iron_man_who_rules > >Sunday, January 06, 2002 2:20 AM > cellibate men > > >> My ex girlfriend asked me for a threesome and I told her no. She >> also kept going on about giving me oral sex a lot, but I always >> declined. The first is because I refuse to have sex with people I am >> not in love with, the second was because I had only been dating her >> for 4 months and I didn't want to take advantage, or do anything that >> either of us would regret. She thought of sex being far more >> important than I did / do. If I dated a woman who didn't want to >> have sex, I would be happy to do this, more than happy in fact, >> because it would show me that the woman sees more in the relationship >> than sex, and I certainly want more than that. Sex isn't at all >> important to me. >> >> >> >> To send an email to - >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 Fraggle - you always said you were frisky! Jo > sex isn't all important..but it tis fun > *giggle* > but..if you don't want to, then you shouldn't feel pressured..everyone at there own pace..if ya want to be celibate, be celibtae, ya want to have sex 24 times aday, go fer it..to each there own > wot i damn noticed..when i'm in arelationship, my urge fer sex goes down, and i just want companionship and snuggleness..when i'm single..ummm...lets just say stooopid other thigs come to the front of my cerebrum.. > *looks down* > can we say bad fraggle?? > ok..not bad..just horribly overly sexually active.... > eeeeep!! > om..wot does this have to do with veganism????????? > *skips away* > fraggle > > > " Angie Wright " <angiewright wrote: > > >What a pity you are the age of one of my sons !!!! > > It is so refreshing to learn that some young people value the genuine > >emotion in a relationship rather than sex for the sake of the activity .I do > >hope you find a nice partner one day who appreciates you > > Angie > > > >- > > " richard_19_m_uk " <iron_man_who_rules > > > >Sunday, January 06, 2002 2:20 AM > > cellibate men > > > > > >> My ex girlfriend asked me for a threesome and I told her no. She > >> also kept going on about giving me oral sex a lot, but I always > >> declined. The first is because I refuse to have sex with people I am > >> not in love with, the second was because I had only been dating her > >> for 4 months and I didn't want to take advantage, or do anything that > >> either of us would regret. She thought of sex being far more > >> important than I did / do. If I dated a woman who didn't want to > >> have sex, I would be happy to do this, more than happy in fact, > >> because it would show me that the woman sees more in the relationship > >> than sex, and I certainly want more than that. Sex isn't at all > >> important to me. > >> > >> > >> > >> To send an email to - > >> > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 I'm a celibate woman - but it ain't of my choosing. Unless I'm just too fussy! And I'll always be celibate - until the next time anyway... Cheers Viv " You'll Never Walk Alone with a Basenji " www.veganvillage.co.uk www.vegansociety.com http://VEGAN-info.com/index.htm EBbrewpunx [EBbrewpunx] Tuesday, January 08, 2002 12:53 AM RE: Re: cellibate men sex isn't all important..but it tis fun *giggle* but..if you don't want to, then you shouldn't feel pressured..everyone at there own pace..if ya want to be celibate, be celibtae, ya want to have sex 24 times aday, go fer it..to each there own wot i damn noticed..when i'm in arelationship, my urge fer sex goes down, and i just want companionship and snuggleness..when i'm single..ummm...lets just say stooopid other thigs come to the front of my cerebrum.. *looks down* can we say bad fraggle?? ok..not bad..just horribly overly sexually active.... eeeeep!! om..wot does this have to do with veganism????????? *skips away* fraggle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 well I don't know. I find it kind of refreshing that there are guys out there who are celibate. I'm celibate until I (If i ever lol) get married, tho I'm beginning to wonder if I can go any longer w/o physical contact w/ a guy. (been 2 years!) I am personally a very snuggly girl and I Love to hold hands and kiss and snuggle, like all the time. but... well... it ain't happening so I really try to stay away from any and all temptation, shack myself up w/ a good book and study a lot. Anyway there's my 2 cents charlotte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 charlotte gilliam wrote: > > well I don't know. I find it kind of refreshing that there are guys out there who are celibate. Richard isn't celibate. He's willing to get involved in a celibate relationship. > I'm celibate until I (If i ever lol) get married, tho I'm beginning to wonder if I can go any longer w/o > physical contact w/ a guy. (been 2 years!) The classic counter-argument to that is that you could find out you're sexually incompatible with someone after you've promised to stick with them forever. I'm sure you've heard it. Probably ad nauseam . But if sex isn't that important to you, presumably the risk of never enjoying it isn't too burdensome either. May I ask, what *do* you think of that argument? > I am personally a very snuggly girl and I Love to hold hands and kiss and snuggle, like all the time. Ah, the battle of the sexes. To generalise obscenely, women like to snuggle all the time, and sometimes have sex. Men like to have sex often, and sometimes snuggle . Which puts Richard ahead of the field. > but... well... it ain't happening so I really try to stay away from any and all temptation, shack myself up > w/ a good book and study a lot. If it's tempting, that implies that you don't really want your celibacy. Or is it a snuggle-temptation. > Anyway there's my 2 cents > > charlotte -- Ian McDonald http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/alternative.html http://travel.to/startrekcolony - Star Trek: Colony site & .mov http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/who-rpg.html - Dr. Who RPGs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Aye, I am not cellibate. However, I would not have sex with someone until I knew that we would be life partners / married. Some call this cellibacy, others don't. At the moment I am 'cellibate', but surely if i have the intention of sex after marriage, then i am not cellibate. I don't know, I am but a lowly moron. However, kissing, holding hands, hugging and what-not, I am all too happy to engage in, and I would do these things ceaselessly given the chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Ian > Ah, the battle of the sexes. To generalise obscenely, women like to > snuggle all the time, and sometimes have sex. Men like to have sex > often, and sometimes snuggle . Which puts Richard ahead of the field. I disagree with you. I hear loads of women complaining about not having enough sex. I don't think you can split people into two groups - men and women - and say that something applies to either group. Also most people's sexual appetites vary from time to time - sometimes very interested, sometimes not. I don't think it matters what sex they are. Jo --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.313 / Virus Database: 174 - Release 02/01/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Hi Ian > The classic counter-argument to that is that you could find out you're > sexually incompatible with someone after you've promised to stick with > them forever. Of course, some might argue that if you are willing to give up a relationship because the sex doesn't meet your expectations, there probably wasn't much holding the relationship together in the first place! In which case, it would probably be better to be honest from the start and admit that you're only in the relationship for the sex. BB Peter --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.313 / Virus Database: 174 - Release 02/01/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Peter wrote: > > Hi Ian > > > The classic counter-argument to that is that you could find out you're > > sexually incompatible with someone after you've promised to stick with > > them forever. > > Of course, some might argue that if you are willing to give up a > relationship because the sex doesn't meet your expectations, there probably > wasn't much holding the relationship together in the first place! In which > case, it would probably be better to be honest from the start and admit that > you're only in the relationship for the sex. > > BB > Peter You seem to be equating " sex is an important part of a loving relationship " with " sex is the only thing that matters " . Please don't. You might disagree with both of them, but please don't pretend that the one that's being proposed is somehow the one that's easier to dispute. -- Ian McDonald http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/alternative.html http://travel.to/startrekcolony - Star Trek: Colony site & .mov http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/who-rpg.html - Dr. Who RPGs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2002 Report Share Posted January 11, 2002 Hi Ian > You seem to be equating " sex is an important part of a loving > relationship " with " sex is the only thing that matters " . Please don't. > You might disagree with both of them, but please don't pretend that the > one that's being proposed is somehow the one that's easier to dispute. I can only speak from the way that I view love and sex - I view it in this way - there are two general reasons for sex (depending largely on the people involved): 1. Sex purely for fun - in this sort of relationship, sex is obviously all important - if it's not very good, the relationship isn't going to work. 2. Sex in a loving relationship - if you love someone, the relationship is based on enjoyment of spending time with that person - that means that you are willing to work through difficulties in order to continue being with them. In a genuinely loving relationship there is absolutely no reason why it should fail due to sex not meeting the required standard. Unless sex is such an important part of that relationship that enjoying each others' company is negligible - in which case you're back to scenario 1. But then perhaps I view it like this because I tend to take a more romantic view of life than most. BB Peter --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.313 / Virus Database: 174 - Release 02/01/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2002 Report Share Posted January 11, 2002 sex isn't necessary in a loving relationship. it's just that, relationships are different w/ different people. But you're right, sex is not a necessity of a loving relationship. char Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2002 Report Share Posted January 11, 2002 Peter wrote: > > Hi Ian > > > You seem to be equating " sex is an important part of a loving > > relationship " with " sex is the only thing that matters " . Please don't. > > You might disagree with both of them, but please don't pretend that the > > one that's being proposed is somehow the one that's easier to dispute. > > I can only speak from the way that I view love and sex - I view it in this > way - there are two general reasons for sex (depending largely on the people > involved): Well, since we're talking in generalities it's a good idea to talk about how other people view love and sex as well. Just because we can only speak authoratatively from our own experience doesn't stop us from speaking and speculating . > 1. Sex purely for fun - in this sort of relationship, sex is obviously all > important - if it's not very good, the relationship isn't going to work. Although the two correlate (sex purely for fun / sex all important) that doesn't make sex " obviously all important " . But if the sex is purely for fun, then that does rather imply that there isn't much love in the relationship, and the partners are obviously just using each other for *something*. IMHO, that " something " will probably turn out to involve sex, but you can't just that it is sex and only sex. > 2. Sex in a loving relationship - if you love someone, the relationship is > based on enjoyment of spending time with that person - that means that you > are willing to work through difficulties in order to continue being with > them. Real relationships (past the first few months) tend to involve some things that work, and some things that don't. Sometimes, the things that don't work are showstoppers. Sometimes, several things that don't work taken together are showstoppers. Sometimes, they work. > In a genuinely loving relationship there is absolutely no reason why > it should fail due to sex not meeting the required standard. Is this something you'd say about any single aspect of a relationship? Or just sex? > Unless sex is > such an important part of that relationship that enjoying each others' > company is negligible - in which case you're back to scenario 1. If I understand you correctly, you are saying that if you enjoy someone's company a little (not much, but more than negligible), then you should stay in the relationship despite another element (namely the lovemaking) being awful? Personally, I would want to enjoy someone's company more than a little to stick in the relationship anyway . It does sound like you're drawing a false dichotomy ... between " Using each other for sex " and " The one! " . > But then perhaps I view it like this because I tend to take a more romantic > view of life than most. > > BB > Peter Perhaps. -- Ian McDonald http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/alternative.html http://travel.to/startrekcolony - Star Trek: Colony site & .mov http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/who-rpg.html - Dr. Who RPGs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2002 Report Share Posted January 11, 2002 I think the generalisation isn't right about blokes wanting to snuggle less than women............or have I got the only bloke that always wants to snuggle and have his back/chin stroked? (I do sometimes wonder!?!) Shelloid Ian> Ah, the battle of the sexes. To generalise obscenely, women like to> snuggle all the time, and sometimes have sex. Men like to have sex> often, and sometimes snuggle . Which puts Richard ahead of the field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2002 Report Share Posted January 11, 2002 What a nice man Why don't I find men with this attitude ? Why don't I find any men - " Peter " <Snowbow Friday, January 11, 2002 6:40 PM Re: cellibate men > Hi Ian > > > You seem to be equating " sex is an important part of a loving > > relationship " with " sex is the only thing that matters " . Please don't. > > You might disagree with both of them, but please don't pretend that the > > one that's being proposed is somehow the one that's easier to dispute. > > I can only speak from the way that I view love and sex - I view it in this > way - there are two general reasons for sex (depending largely on the people > involved): > > 1. Sex purely for fun - in this sort of relationship, sex is obviously all > important - if it's not very good, the relationship isn't going to work. > > 2. Sex in a loving relationship - if you love someone, the relationship is > based on enjoyment of spending time with that person - that means that you > are willing to work through difficulties in order to continue being with > them. In a genuinely loving relationship there is absolutely no reason why > it should fail due to sex not meeting the required standard. Unless sex is > such an important part of that relationship that enjoying each others' > company is negligible - in which case you're back to scenario 1. > > But then perhaps I view it like this because I tend to take a more romantic > view of life than most. > > BB > Peter > > > --- > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > Version: 6.0.313 / Virus Database: 174 - Release 02/01/02 > > > > To send an email to - > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 *raises paw8 nah..snugglin be fun..this is one " bloke " who enjoys a good cuddle..more so then sex most of the time sorry..do i have to hand in my male membership card now?? fraggle " shelloid " <shelloid wrote: >I think the generalisation isn't right about blokes wanting to snuggle less than women............or have I got the only bloke that always wants to snuggle and have his back/chin stroked? (I do sometimes wonder!?!) >Shelloid > > Ian > > > Ah, the battle of the sexes. To generalise obscenely, women like to > > snuggle all the time, and sometimes have sex. Men like to have sex > > often, and sometimes snuggle . Which puts Richard ahead of the field. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 I did say I was " generalising obscenely " . I meant it as a trend, like the questions in Lesley's gender test, not a rule . -- Ian McDonald http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/alternative.html http://travel.to/startrekcolony - Star Trek: Colony site & .mov http://www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~type40/who-rpg.html - Dr. Who RPGs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 Hi Ian > Is this something you'd say about any single aspect of a relationship? > Or just sex? Any aspect. > If I understand you correctly, you are saying that if you enjoy > someone's company a little (not much, but more than negligible), then > you should stay in the relationship despite another element (namely the > lovemaking) being awful? I'd say, if you enjoy someone's company only a little (not much more than negligible), then I would classify it as a poor basis for a friendship, let alone a romantic relationship. > Personally, I would want to enjoy someone's company more than a little > to stick in the relationship anyway . Definitely - but for me, poor sex wouldn't be an issue in such a relationship because it wouldn't get that far in the first place! BB Peter --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.313 / Virus Database: 174 - Release 02/01/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 Shelloid >I think the generalisation isn't right about blokes wanting to snuggle less than >women............or have I got the only bloke that always wants to snuggle and >have his back/chin stroked? (I do sometimes wonder!?!) I'm sure you're not alone. Jo ---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.313 / Virus Database: 174 - Release 02/01/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 Fraggle > sorry..do i have to hand in my male membership card now?? Definitely not - you have attained full membership now. Jo ah yes, but ... --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.313 / Virus Database: 174 - Release 02/01/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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