Way off topic/Lady

[Guest guest]

I was going to send this to you off list but I had

already erased the first part of your email.

 

My plan was unassisted with a Midwife vigil. Turns

out, I never wanted hubby to leave my face so the

Midwife caught our daughter after all.

I agree that having the baby completely unassisted

carries risks...But if you're very educated about

birth, are neonatal CPR certified, are willing to

accept that responsibility, then by all means....

Many people choose this, believe it or not. Planned

unassisted births have good outcomes...It's the

unplanned unassisted births that have the poorest

statistics.

NOW, breech unassisted...That's way too risky for me.

But, it's none of my business. It's her choice, it's

her birth. The authorities by no means should be

called to interfere. The authorities would prefer her

not birth at home at all...Like all the other women

out there.

I feel we are the one mammal that needs companionship

through our labor and delivery. But that's just me.

A large movement of women out there believe otherwise.

 

I'm sorry your Mom missed your birth. My Mother

purposely stayed away for fear. She was scared to

death that I birthed at home. That too makes me sad.

How in the world did the human race make it this far?

Seems we should have died out long ago since our

bodies are so incapable of delivering babies. That's

the attitude my Mother carries at least. Our bodies

are defective and we need doctors to save us.

Warmly,

Allison

 

I would be incredibly tempted to

> actively tell someone in

> authority. She is putting her life and the life of

> her, Godwilling, newborn

> in danger as far as I can see.

>

> Lee-Gwen (who had half the state, or so it seemed,

> in her labour ward and

> didn't have a problem with that. The only shame was

> that my mother missed

> the actual birth.)

>

>

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

-

Allison Nations

 

> I was going to send this to you off list but I had

> already erased the first part of your email.

 

*laugh* It happens - and it is a darned sight better than accidentally

sending something very private to someone on list because one forgot to

change the address! Seen that happen more times than I can count. I hope

that you don't mind that I keep this on list. After all, you posted the

initial post to the list directly which, surely, meant that you were opening

it up for comment.

 

I can see not wanting to have the child at hospital or to have doctors

involved but I think that it is taking an unnecessary risk with one's own

health and one's child's health to be completely unassisted. I do think

that there are times when, frankly, loving friends need to step in and say

" enough " . My mother had to do it for my cousin Joanie who was failing to

thrive but whose parents believed that any comment on it was a negative

comment on breastfeeding (from my mother? You have to be joking!) It

turned out that the child had a hole in the heart which needed surgery.

Following that intervention, she thrived beautifully. Had the intervention

not happened, Joanie would be dead. I think that your friend's case is

another such one. I don't believe that humans are meant to birth unassisted

and I don't believe that she is doing the right thing. If it were me, as I

said, I would be very tempted to tell someone in authority - a friendly

midwife would do. I don't believe that a mother who has just given birth is

in any position to provide first aid to her baby, or herself, should it be

required. Even if she had someone monitoring progress from another room, I

would be happier (which is, I guess, what you mean by having a " midwife

vigil " ).

 

> Many people choose this, believe it or not. Planned

> unassisted births have good outcomes...

 

I believe you, I just find it unbelievable - if you follow.

 

> NOW, breech unassisted...That's way too risky for me.

> But, it's none of my business. It's her choice, it's

> her birth.

 

If you are her friend, then yes, I do think it is your business.

 

> I'm sorry your Mom missed your birth.

 

So was she. She had never seen a live birth and very much wanted to. She

had been called out to a number of births but always managed to miss that

bit! My partner made it back in in time to watch.

 

> My Mother

> purposely stayed away for fear. She was scared to

> death that I birthed at home.

 

That is a shame.

[Guest guest]

Oh yes...I've done that before. Reply all is a bad

little button.

 

Intervention like that, I'm all for. I'm not a

Christian Scientist and don't believe that the power

of prayer will fix holes in hearts. I just feel that

childbirth is a normal process that needs no

intervention...At least 95% of the time;) There's no

way I'd have a breech unassisted. But, I did plan to

have mine at home regardless of breech. My Midwife

and I discussed it and she would have brought a

Midwife skilled in the art of breech deliveries. She

put her foot down when I told her I still wanted to

deliver in the water. LOL. Luckily the girl was

vertex and all was well.

 

She has hired a doula and her husband will be there.

I don't know who else. She will not be completely

alone. I've only read one birth story where the woman

curled herself up in her closet and birthed like a

cat...Alone.

 

 

--- Lady Sappho <ladysappho wrote:

> -

> Allison Nations

>

> > I was going to send this to you off list but I had

> > already erased the first part of your email.

>

> *laugh* It happens - and it is a darned sight better

> than accidentally

> sending something very private to someone on list

> because one forgot to

> change the address! Seen that happen more times

> than I can count. I hope

> that you don't mind that I keep this on list. After

> all, you posted the

> initial post to the list directly which, surely,

> meant that you were opening

> it up for comment.

>

> I can see not wanting to have the child at hospital

> or to have doctors

> involved but I think that it is taking an

> unnecessary risk with one's own

> health and one's child's health to be completely

> unassisted. I do think

> that there are times when, frankly, loving friends

> need to step in and say

> " enough " . My mother had to do it for my cousin

> Joanie who was failing to

> thrive but whose parents believed that any comment

> on it was a negative

> comment on breastfeeding (from my mother? You have

> to be joking!) It

> turned out that the child had a hole in the heart

> which needed surgery.

> Following that intervention, she thrived

> beautifully. Had the intervention

> not happened, Joanie would be dead. I think that

> your friend's case is

> another such one. I don't believe that humans are

> meant to birth unassisted

> and I don't believe that she is doing the right

> thing. If it were me, as I

> said, I would be very tempted to tell someone in

> authority - a friendly

> midwife would do. I don't believe that a mother who

> has just given birth is

> in any position to provide first aid to her baby, or

> herself, should it be

> required. Even if she had someone monitoring

> progress from another room, I

> would be happier (which is, I guess, what you mean

> by having a " midwife

> vigil " ).

>

> > Many people choose this, believe it or not.

> Planned

> > unassisted births have good outcomes...

>

> I believe you, I just find it unbelievable - if you

> follow.

>

> > NOW, breech unassisted...That's way too risky for

> me.

> > But, it's none of my business. It's her choice,

> it's

> > her birth.

>

> If you are her friend, then yes, I do think it is

> your business.

>

> > I'm sorry your Mom missed your birth.

>

> So was she. She had never seen a live birth and

> very much wanted to. She

> had been called out to a number of births but always

> managed to miss that

> bit! My partner made it back in in time to watch.

>

> > My Mother

> > purposely stayed away for fear. She was scared to

> > death that I birthed at home.

>

> That is a shame.

>

>

>

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

-

Allison Nations

> Oh yes...I've done that before. Reply all is a bad

> little button.

 

*laugh* In the programme I am using, just " reply " does it to most lists

(there is one list where it doesn't work and I hate posting to it!) Oddly

enough, hitting " reply all " gives me two addresses ... both for the list and

neither for you! To post to you directly, I have to cut and paste your

address into the " To " field.

 

> My Midwife

> and I discussed it and she would have brought a

> Midwife skilled in the art of breech deliveries. She

> put her foot down when I told her I still wanted to

> deliver in the water. LOL. Luckily the girl was

> vertex and all was well.

 

Sounds like your midwife was a wise woman! Honestly, home birth doesn't

really appeal to me. For my second child, if I have one, I would like to

use a birthing suite. This isn't from fear of homebirths, though, it is

because I like the idea of someone else doing all the clean up afterwards

while my Lady and I are engrossed in our new baby! It is just a shame that

any future children I have will never know their grandmother - she died,

without seeing a live birth! - a couple of years ago.

 

Oh darn, now I am all weepy! Argh!

>

> She has hired a doula and her husband will be there.

> I don't know who else. She will not be completely

> alone.

 

Ahhhh, that's certainly better than I had invisioned. From what I have

read, I could have used one of those myself.

Lee-Gwen

[Guest guest]

Yes, we doulas are an awesome bunch...Not to toot my

own horn or anything;)

 

Please don't get weepy, as Dolly Parton says... " I make

it a rule to never let a woman cry alone. "

 

Birth Centers are great. They are a wonderful

alternative to hospitals. I wish there were more in

my area. However, if it's the mess you're worried

about, Midwives do all the cleanup. After I had the

baby, you couldn't tell a birth had taken place. They

not only cleaned all the birth mess...But they cleaned

my entire house and did my laundry. As well as made

sure me and my family were fed. It's an amazing

service. And you never have to leave your house.

Warmly,

Allison

 

--- Lady Sappho <ladysappho wrote:

>

> -

> Allison Nations

> > Oh yes...I've done that before. Reply all is a

> bad

> > little button.

>

> *laugh* In the programme I am using, just " reply "

> does it to most lists

> (there is one list where it doesn't work and I hate

> posting to it!) Oddly

> enough, hitting " reply all " gives me two addresses

> ... both for the list and

> neither for you! To post to you directly, I have to

> cut and paste your

> address into the " To " field.

>

> > My Midwife

> > and I discussed it and she would have brought a

> > Midwife skilled in the art of breech deliveries.

> She

> > put her foot down when I told her I still wanted

> to

> > deliver in the water. LOL. Luckily the girl was

> > vertex and all was well.

>

> Sounds like your midwife was a wise woman!

> Honestly, home birth doesn't

> really appeal to me. For my second child, if I have

> one, I would like to

> use a birthing suite. This isn't from fear of

> homebirths, though, it is

> because I like the idea of someone else doing all

> the clean up afterwards

> while my Lady and I are engrossed in our new baby!

> It is just a shame that

> any future children I have will never know their

> grandmother - she died,

> without seeing a live birth! - a couple of years

> ago.

>

> Oh darn, now I am all weepy! Argh!

> >

> > She has hired a doula and her husband will be

> there.

> > I don't know who else. She will not be completely

> > alone.

>

> Ahhhh, that's certainly better than I had

> invisioned. From what I have

> read, I could have used one of those myself.

> Lee-Gwen

>

>

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

i'll say one thing. when I have kids, I " m gonna have a team of a baker's

dozen doctors standing by with just as many, if not more, epidurals on

standby.

 

hell, if I can't handle cramps while on birth control for that very reason,

imagine what a b**** I'd be when my water broke! lol

 

Megan

[Guest guest]

-

" Allison Nations " <allyanne2001

 

Saturday, January 25, 2003 6:42 AM

Re: Way off topic/Lady

 

 

> Yes, we doulas are an awesome bunch...Not to toot my

> own horn or anything;)

 

*laugh* My mother acted that way a bit for me, but there were things she

couldn't do and there were things I was not in a postition to demand - at 20

and in labour! There were certainly things I would do differently this time

around. Not that I want to get into sharing birth stories! *laugh*

>

> Please don't get weepy, as Dolly Parton says... " I make

> it a rule to never let a woman cry alone. "

 

Ah, it wasn't serious. It is just that I miss my mother more than I would

ever have expected and the wound is still a bit raw. It was a very sudden

death. I am probably at an emotional point in my cycle too.

 

> However, if it's the mess you're worried

> about, Midwives do all the cleanup.

 

Ahhh, I like the sound of that.

 

To be fair, it isn't only mess. I actually liked being in hospital. They

fed me regularly (even if they did give me oranges with every meal which

went straight from my milk into her saliva which then irritated the heck out

of me!) they put clean, fresh, sheets on the bed every day, and hospital

provided me with lots of people to observe ...

 

Lee-Gwen