Making a big change

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone! Usually I'm a silent reader, but I need some advice. I am in the

middle of chaos right now, and I think it's time to start living the life I feel

is right for our family. My husband and I both work and fell into the trap of

the " American Dream " . We have a house and 2 big dogs. That is part of the

liability which I can't seem to break away from. My dogs are so good and I love

them, but I don't feel it's right to keep them in an apartment. Which has led

us to buying this house. My dh, ds, and new dd are amazing. I want to have

time to appreciate them and teach them things that I know are really important

in this world, and I'm afraid that time is just going to pass me by if I keep

working. Unfortunately, the situation I got myself into is that I make 2x my

husband's salary, and the thought of marrying for money just never occurred to

me before. So we're all in it for love, and that's the best part. But

somewhere along the way, we've accumulated all this " stuff " ,

and I'm sick of it. And even if we sold everything, there doesn't seem to be a

way to afford to live with the debt we have. We owe more than everything is

worth. Trying to avoid bankruptcy, but what else is there? We live in CT and

there isn't much in the way of affordable housing that will accept me with my

pets. People want you to have cute little dogs, or cats. But that's just not

me. I've also recently realized how important it is for me to live closer to my

family in NY. So that's the direction we are heading, but it isn't any cheaper.

I'm at the end of my rope and pray every day that God will see me through this.

Help! I really need some ideas. How can this work? How can I do it? Layoffs

are going on at work and I'm hoping I get it, and my husband's job is uncertain

too. So I figured that since everything is up the air and the babies are still

young enough (ds 2 1/2 and dd 5 mos!) That we should make the right move for the

lifestyle and values we want to teach

them. I'm on the edge of something and I'm jus too close to the tree in front

of me to see around it. I don't know what I expect from anyone out there, but

I'm so tired of not fitting in anywhere. Maybe there's a place where people

have a nice community and are not so judgemental and love children and help each

other, and share, and ... (well I'm a dreamer at heart! But got stuck living as

a realist body in an idealist soul.

 

Have a nice night, please let me know if you have any ideas.

 

Thanks,

 

Young Veggie Momma

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

-

Hi-

I say go for it. I'm in a similar boat. We have moved so many times

and now we rent this house that is falling down around us but it was

our only choice because we have 4 dogs! We can't afford to buy

because I chose to stay at home and onlt work part-time so I could

raise our daughter. We would also love to find a community where

people are tolerant and OPEN MINDED and would help each other. Is

there such a place? If you find it, let me know. We feel so

lonely. We are close to family but we are the only vegetarians.

Well, I wish you the best of luck and follow your heart. Do what it

takes to be happy. People are always saying my life would be easier

if I got rid of my dogs but they are my family, too. I just endure

for now and hope for sometime in the near future to be where I want

our family to be. Again, good luck!

 

 

Christina

 

 

-- In , janeen minguillo <jminshan>

wrote:

> Hi Everyone! Usually I'm a silent reader, but I need some advice.

I am in the middle of chaos right now, and I think it's time to start

living the life I feel is right for our family. My husband and I

both work and fell into the trap of the " American Dream " . We have a

house and 2 big dogs. That is part of the liability which I can't

seem to break away from. My dogs are so good and I love them, but I

don't feel it's right to keep them in an apartment. Which has led us

to buying this house. My dh, ds, and new dd are amazing. I want to

have time to appreciate them and teach them things that I know are

really important in this world, and I'm afraid that time is just

going to pass me by if I keep working. Unfortunately, the situation

I got myself into is that I make 2x my husband's salary, and the

thought of marrying for money just never occurred to me before. So

we're all in it for love, and that's the best part. But somewhere

along the way, we've accumulated all this " stuff " ,

> and I'm sick of it. And even if we sold everything, there doesn't

seem to be a way to afford to live with the debt we have. We owe

more than everything is worth. Trying to avoid bankruptcy, but what

else is there? We live in CT and there isn't much in the way of

affordable housing that will accept me with my pets. People want you

to have cute little dogs, or cats. But that's just not me. I've

also recently realized how important it is for me to live closer to

my family in NY. So that's the direction we are heading, but it

isn't any cheaper. I'm at the end of my rope and pray every day that

God will see me through this. Help! I really need some ideas. How

can this work? How can I do it? Layoffs are going on at work and

I'm hoping I get it, and my husband's job is uncertain too. So I

figured that since everything is up the air and the babies are still

young enough (ds 2 1/2 and dd 5 mos!) That we should make the right

move for the lifestyle and values we want to teach

> them. I'm on the edge of something and I'm jus too close to the

tree in front of me to see around it. I don't know what I expect

from anyone out there, but I'm so tired of not fitting in anywhere.

Maybe there's a place where people have a nice community and are not

so judgemental and love children and help each other, and share,

and ... (well I'm a dreamer at heart! But got stuck living as a

realist body in an idealist soul.

>

> Have a nice night, please let me know if you have any ideas.

>

> Thanks,

>

> Young Veggie Momma

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> janeen minguillo <jminshan

> Making a big change

>

> Hi Everyone! Usually I'm a silent reader, but I need some advice. I am in the

> middle of chaos right now, and I think it's time to start living the life I

> feel is right for our family. My husband and I both work and fell into the

> trap of the " American Dream " .

> ... So we're all in it for love, and that's the > best part. But somewhere

>along the way, we've accumulated all this " stuff " ,

> and I'm sick of it. And even if we sold everything, there doesn't seem to be

> a way to afford to live with the debt we have. We owe more than everything is

> worth. ...

> I've also recently realized how important it is for me to live closer to

> my family in NY. So that's the direction we are heading, but it isn't any

> cheaper. I'm at the end of my rope and pray every day that God will see me

> through this. Help! I really need some ideas. How can this work? How can I

> do it? ...

> I'm so tired of not fitting in anywhere. Maybe there's a place where people

> have a nice community and are not so judgemental and love children and help

> each other, and share, and ... (well I'm a dreamer at heart! But got stuck

> living as a realist body in an idealist soul.

>

> Have a nice night, please let me know if you have any ideas.

 

Wow, Janeen! What a fascinating story. I mean it - it's great that you're

trying to move into a different lifestyle. I think it'll be very exciting.

 

My first suggestion for you is to be patient. It WILL all work out. It'll

just take some time, but the answers will come, the universe will provide.

 

My second thought is to go ahead and start selling things. Unload your

stuff and you'll unload your psyche. Unclutter your house and your mind

will be less cluttered. You get the idea. Also, when it's time to move,

your stuff won't be as much of a burden! Sell it at garage sales, sell it

at consignment shops, sell it on eBay. Sell it in the papers. Sell

everything. Even if it's not getting what it's worth.

 

So, even if you're not making money off what you're selling, it's still

*income*. Don't forget to stop buying! Buy only necessities. Tell your

friends and family to stop buying things for your dd.

 

Can your family live off your income? If your dh stays home, your dd can

benefit greatly even if you stay in debt longer. His share of expenses will

go down - car, gas, work clothing (buying/maintaining), daycare.

 

Can you re-finance your home? Sell a car? Consolidate your debts? Paying

off your debts is a big step toward freedom. Cut up your credit cards and

close the accounts. Keep one, with a low-enough credit line that you can't

go crazy with it. Transfer balances to credit cards that offer great deals

on transfers (no interest for 12 months, for example) - then pay it off or

transfer again before the " free " period expires. (Stay on top of it!)

 

Good luck! Keep us posted!

~Doh

--------

" The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made

for humans anymore than black people were made for white, or women created

for men. " ~Alice Walker, Author

[Guest guest]

I hear you, Christina! We have 9 cats and a dog, and people thought

after the adoption of our baby we would just " get rid " of them.

That is such a rude thing to say! They are our babies, too.

 

We live in the city, and long to live in the country (ok - so not

tooo far out!) But to have room and a nice barn for the cats to play

in when they get sick of the house chaos, a nice big yard for the

dog, and neighbors with like values or at least tolerance.

 

My hubby works in CT, so I know the prices there, Young Veggie

Momma. Is your family (in NY) anywhere near the Berkshires of MA?

You can find some out of the way places there for short money. Just

a thought.

 

Can you do any " consulting " work? May be a way to stay home and

still make some $. I'm trying to make some with a partner selling on-

line. But so far, I have spent more on supplies and advertising

than I have made. I have my daycare liscense, but I don't want to

bring any more children here, and obviously can't afford to rent a

place....

Anyway, Good luck. Keep us informed!

 

Tracey =^..^=

www.KindheartedWomen.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" ...We would also love to find a community where people are

tolerant and OPEN MINDED and would help each other. Is there such a

place? If you find it, let me know. People are always saying my

life would be easier if I got rid of my dogs but they are my family,

too.... "

 

" ...We live in CT and there isn't much in the way of affordable

housing that will accept me with my pets.

Maybe there's a place where people have a nice community and are not

so judgemental and love children and help each other, and share... "

[Guest guest]

Hi Tracey! Thank you for your support! My family is on Long Island, which

sometimes seems like another country. I'm in a tough spot, but realize there is

hope. The worst part of this whole thing is waiting. It is seems like a lot of

this is out of my control, and that is the part that keeps my head spinning.

I'm used to finding a problem and fixing it. But for the sake of the kids I

don't want to be making rash decisions and uprooting them until the time is

right. maybe the answer is something in the middle.

 

Thanks for helping me pick up my focus.

 

J

 

AKA Young Veggie Momma

 

Tracey <weety wrote:

I hear you, Christina! We have 9 cats and a dog, and people thought

after the adoption of our baby we would just " get rid " of them.

That is such a rude thing to say! They are our babies, too.

 

We live in the city, and long to live in the country (ok - so not

tooo far out!) But to have room and a nice barn for the cats to play

in when they get sick of the house chaos, a nice big yard for the

dog, and neighbors with like values or at least tolerance.

 

My hubby works in CT, so I know the prices there, Young Veggie

Momma. Is your family (in NY) anywhere near the Berkshires of MA?

You can find some out of the way places there for short money. Just

a thought.

 

Can you do any " consulting " work? May be a way to stay home and

still make some $. I'm trying to make some with a partner selling on-

line. But so far, I have spent more on supplies and advertising

than I have made. I have my daycare liscense, but I don't want to

bring any more children here, and obviously can't afford to rent a

place....

Anyway, Good luck. Keep us informed!

 

Tracey =^..^=

www.KindheartedWomen.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" ...We would also love to find a community where people are

tolerant and OPEN MINDED and would help each other. Is there such a

place? If you find it, let me know. People are always saying my

life would be easier if I got rid of my dogs but they are my family,

too.... "

 

" ...We live in CT and there isn't much in the way of affordable

housing that will accept me with my pets.

Maybe there's a place where people have a nice community and are not

so judgemental and love children and help each other, and share... "