Guest guest Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 It's tough. Although my dh eats very healthy, it does send mixed messages. I will say Daddy is eating chicken, but mommy eats " veggy chicken " . I'm not sure how our daughter will process all of this. It is a concern of mine. My dh buys meat, but I wont prepare it. The nights I am not home and he makes dinner, he make veggy friendly meals. Sarah Glenn [sarah] Monday, August 09, 2004 7:55 PM RE: Re: non-veg husband I don't buy meat. If hubby wants it he has to buy it and fix it. Neither of which he does. So there's never any meat in the house. Sarah Mommy to: Alexin~ my big 3 year old Homebirthing momma to Cameron~8 months _____ Shirley [mybluerat] Friday, August 06, 2004 7:38 AM Re: non-veg husband Hi, I hear a lot of you say that you & kids are veg, but your husband is not. Out of curiosity, how does this play out at home, like dinner time? Does the husband only eat meat out of the house? Do you cook different things for dinner? I'm not married yet & its hard to find veg men, and I would hate to come home & open the fridge & see carcases in there! Also doesn't it send mixed messages to the kids? How do you tell them that its bad to eat meat, but then they see their dad eating meat all the time? If you could share your experiences & how you work that out I would be most interested! Thanks! Mail is new and improved - Check it out! For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 In a message dated 8/11/04 8:03:11 AM Pacific Daylight Time, homeschoolx3inne writes: > One great success - last weekend I made kidney bean 'burgers' with oven > fries and cake. He LOVED it! Greetings! I am new to the list, my name is Kat. JS, I would love your kidney bean burger receipe if you could share it? I also love making Tofu burgers from the mix, that flies pretty well around here and the tofu *dogs* . I am always looking for new ideas to try to get my non-veg diabetic hubby to eat better. It is a struggle. My youngest, a soon to be 2 year old, I am determined to raise as a vegan. I have been a vegetarian for nearly 20 years though there have been times I have slipped to make my hubby happy, well NO MORE, not ever again....and after reading more information about the torture of dairy cows and chicken laying eggs for the dairy business, I am leaning towards a Vegan life style. I am sure this will create more tension at home but it is the way I know I have to live my life. I know it is the way I will insist our son be raised. If my hubby buys meat, he cooks it. I won't go near it, buy or cook it. I feel sick to my stomach that even a penny of our money goes into supporting the slaughter industry...sigh...if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE I am willing to try almost anything short of giving him the boot or the curb! LOL! Warmest Blessings, Kat~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 In a message dated 8/11/04 8:16:15 AM Pacific Daylight Time, jodi.de.vries writes: > My husband and I were both carnivores when we met. I've since become > enlightened and am a vegetarian, but he is not (a vegetarian). I > basically cook different things, but it's not that hard because my kids > and I eat the side dishes that he eats. The thing that does suck is that > my 3 yo is beginning to eat animals, whereas I had him eating veg for > quite awhile. It upsets me that we have to have meat in the house at > all, but I can't really demand that my husband become a vegetarian. He > thinks that we should let him (our 3 yo) decide whether or not he should > eat meat. I think that we should guide him toward ethical & healthful > eating, just like I would want him to wear sunscreen outside in the sun! > Ugh!! This is what I don't want to happen! I don't want my hubby to either feed my son meat (or dairy now for that matter) or worse, sneak off to Jack-In the Box and buy him a burger! This really worries me. I think Jordan (my son) can decided for himself when he is of age, as an adult what he choses for himself but as a child, I want to make those decisions for him. Like you said, I want to guide him towards ethical and healthful eating! I sure would like my hubby to be a vegan but I don't want to force the issue, he already has diabetes that worries me too, but bottom line-it is his choice. The more I insist the least likely he will be to change. I don't like feeling like the " food police. " Well thanks for listening to my morning vent....I guess we will continue eating side dishes too when hubby is cooking...I even get on him about the utensils... " You didn't flip that meat with that spatula you turned over the fries with DID YOU? " ....LOL! ;-) Warmest Blessings, Kat~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 In a message dated 8/11/04 8:23:59 AM Pacific Daylight Time, quintmom writes: > My DH also is not vegan. He knew when we got married that I was and he > respects that. We made an agreement before getting married that we would > maintain a vegan household and raise our children vegan. He has kept that > agreement throughout the 12 years we have been married. > WOW!!!!!! What a JEWEL of a hubby you have Gayle! Your post was very inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing it....I hope I can get my hubby to *turn over a new leaf* with a plan of some new agreements. I like that your hubby doesn't share his non-vegan food with your children. That is important to me. Warmest Blessings! Kat~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Joanne-- The kidney bean burgers sound great! Do you mind sharing your recipe? Thanks in advance... Karen > One great success - last weekend I made kidney bean > 'burgers' with oven fries and cake. He LOVED it! > He even said he like the bean burgers better than > meat burgers because the bean did not leave a yucky > after-taste and practically tastes the same anyway > after you add all the onions, pickles, mustard, > tomatoes, etc ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Ask him to watch Meet Your Meat. I know a few heavy meat eaters (Adkins-diet type) who went vegan after seeing it. My husbands lacto-ovo-vegetarian which means he eats a lot of eggs and dumps cheese on everything. I don't really want my daughter eating eggs or dairy but since Daddy does sometimes she eats some of that stuff. I've been vegetarian (lacto-ovo) most of my life. Trying at various times to go vegan which never really lasted long. So I've given up eggs and dairy (which I know aren't good for me but I like foods that have that stuff in them so its been hard). Anyway I hope I've given up dairy and eggs for the last time this time. My husband and I had very similar diets when we first got married. As a vegetarian kid growing up in a meat eating house I didn't really celebrate holidays. Like at Thanksgiving dinners I'd relegate myself to another room eating a cheese pizza (depending on if I were eating cheese at the time) or some other non-holiday type food. And not associate with the rest of the family during the meal. The whole idea of an animal being sacrificed and it being a reason to celebrate did not sit well with me from an early age. After my husband I were married I got to celebrate holidays for the very first time. We decided to make something very untraditional that would be our own special holiday tradition. Thus we decided to make spinach stuffed raviolis and spaghetti sauce from scratch. So found it was not the easiest thing to do. We tried it for a few years but after my daughter was born we decided to make more tradional meat-free dishes. Like stuffing (vegan version), gravy, potatoes, pie etc. As my daughter got older we started buying a tofurkey roast too. We invited relatives to eat with us in a meat-free environment. I guess the tradition we started was that I finally got to celebrate holidays, to make it about our family being together, cooking the meal together, and nobody sacrificed to make it happen. If I were married to a carnivore I wouldn't have any of that. Renee --- kitikatldy wrote: > In a message dated 8/11/04 8:03:11 AM Pacific > Daylight Time, > homeschoolx3inne writes: > > > One great success - last weekend I made kidney > bean 'burgers' with oven > > fries and cake. He LOVED it! > > Greetings! > > I am new to the list, my name is Kat. JS, I would > love your kidney bean > burger receipe if you could share it? I also love > making Tofu burgers from the mix, > that flies pretty well around here and the tofu > *dogs* . I am always looking > for new ideas to try to get my non-veg diabetic > hubby to eat better. It is a > struggle. My youngest, a soon to be 2 year old, I am > determined to raise as a > vegan. I have been a vegetarian for nearly 20 years > though there have been > times I have slipped to make my hubby happy, well NO > MORE, not ever again....and > after reading more information about the torture of > dairy cows and chicken > laying eggs for the dairy business, I am leaning > towards a Vegan life style. I am > sure this will create more tension at home but it is > the way I know I have to > live my life. I know it is the way I will insist our > son be raised. If my > hubby buys meat, he cooks it. I won't go near it, > buy or cook it. I feel sick to > my stomach that even a penny of our money goes into > supporting the slaughter > industry...sigh...if anyone has any suggestions > PLEASE I am willing to try > almost anything short of giving him the boot or the > curb! LOL! > > Warmest Blessings, > Kat~ > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 One of the things that my partner and I have decided on is that our son will have his own choice to eat animal/products after his 13th birthbday. Just as with all other values we want to pass on to our little boy, there will come a time when he is allowed to make his own decision about them. Right now he doesn't have the knowlege or ability to put things like this together (I still feel that 13 is too young but we had to compromise) so I will make the choice for him. Jodi de Vries <jodi.de.vries wrote: My husband and I were both carnivores when we met. I've since become enlightened and am a vegetarian, but he is not (a vegetarian). I basically cook different things, but it's not that hard because my kids and I eat the side dishes that he eats. The thing that does suck is that my 3 yo is beginning to eat animals, whereas I had him eating veg for quite awhile. It upsets me that we have to have meat in the house at all, but I can't really demand that my husband become a vegetarian. He thinks that we should let him (our 3 yo) decide whether or not he should eat meat. I think that we should guide him toward ethical & healthful eating, just like I would want him to wear sunscreen outside in the sun! Jodi Shirley wrote: > Hi, > > I hear a lot of you say that you & kids are veg, but > your husband is not. Out of curiosity, how does this > play out at home, like dinner time? Does the husband > only eat meat out of the house? Do you cook different > things for dinner? I'm not married yet & its hard to > find veg men, and I would hate to come home & open the > fridge & see carcases in there! Also doesn't it send > mixed messages to the kids? How do you tell them that > its bad to eat meat, but then they see their dad > eating meat all the time? If you could share your > experiences & how you work that out I would be most > interested! > > Thanks! > > > > > > Mail is new and improved - Check it out! > > > > > For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website > at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families > go to http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not > intended to provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be > obtained from a qualified health professional. > > edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified > health professional. > > > > > * Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2004 Report Share Posted August 15, 2004 > In a message dated 8/11/04 8:16:15 AM Pacific Daylight Time, jodi.de.vries writes: > He thinks that we should let him (our 3 yo) decide whether or not he should > eat meat. Does he also think you should let your son choose between eating junk food or healthy food? Does he get to eat whatever he decides, regardless of the category? Cookies for breakfast, ice cream for dinner? Does your dh feel that 3 yr olds can make sound decisions? I mean, really, since when do 3 yos make these kinds of decisions? ::::::::: sigh ::::::::: Doh glad, sometimes, to be single. -------- " Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing. " ~Arundhati Roy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2004 Report Share Posted August 15, 2004 , Shirley <mybluerat> wrote: > Hi, > > I hear a lot of you say that you & kids are veg, but > your husband is not. Out of curiosity, how does this > play out at home, like dinner time? Does the husband > only eat meat out of the house? Do you cook different > things for dinner? I'm not married yet & its hard to > find veg men, and I would hate to come home & open the > fridge & see carcases in there! The way it worked for us, originally, is that DH only ate meat out, because he recognised the issues you mention, and also felt it was healthier for him not to eat it much. He was not, at that time (we are talking 1994) willing to give it up altogether. Then we went out to a nice Chinese restaurant with friends, after not having been out for a while. I had the tofu stir-fry, the friends and DH shared some ginger beef. He was sick as a dog that night, they were fine. He became convinced that he could not digest meat anymore. This may or may not be true, but he's not touched it since, and has now become as much of an ethical high-road-taker as you and me <grin> Be well, Hadass, also became vegetarian originally for health reasons, but I'll take the moral high ground when I see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2004 Report Share Posted August 15, 2004 While I am now single - maybe this is partly why but I also didn't buy, cook or use anything that had touched meat. I have been veggie now for 15 years but have had relationships with meat eaters in 2 long term relationships. (maybe I need to exam that) In the first, I thought that this wasn't fair to put my values on another and hated cooking or having him cook meat in our house and was always disappointed in him for not making better decisions secretly though and in the end regretted living that way. In my second - I just refused to cook, have it cooked in or use anything that had had meat in it. Told him that if he wanted it to go out to eat which he did. He had been veggie and went back to meat eating. Anyway, I felt so much better about being true to myself and was not upset with him because I was who I was and he was who he was. However, when we had a child, it did become a problem. he wanted him to eat meat and I was adamant that he would not and it was like being on guard to keep my son from being forced to eat meat. However, he did listen and not feed him meat but only because I had held my ground in the beginning with him. I believe that if I had cook or supplied meat for him, he would have feed our son meat. It is hard but if there is respect in a relationship, there will be understanding and agreement. This is a life choice not a negotiable issue for me so it was not up for discussing. I would have been more upset about that than cheating on me so was not a forgivable " sin " . I know I sound harsh but my children are my love and I want the best for them and will not allow them to be subjected any kind of treatment I consider to be bad for them or the environment. Rachel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2004 Report Share Posted August 17, 2004 I am so glad that you feel that way. Always stand for what you believe in, even if it hurts. Rachel Stirewalt <rachelart3 wrote:While I am now single - maybe this is partly why but I also didn't buy, cook or use anything that had touched meat. I have been veggie now for 15 years but have had relationships with meat eaters in 2 long term relationships. (maybe I need to exam that) In the first, I thought that this wasn't fair to put my values on another and hated cooking or having him cook meat in our house and was always disappointed in him for not making better decisions secretly though and in the end regretted living that way. In my second - I just refused to cook, have it cooked in or use anything that had had meat in it. Told him that if he wanted it to go out to eat which he did. He had been veggie and went back to meat eating. Anyway, I felt so much better about being true to myself and was not upset with him because I was who I was and he was who he was. However, when we had a child, it did become a problem. he wanted him to eat meat and I was adamant that he would not and it was like being on guard to keep my son from being forced to eat meat. However, he did listen and not feed him meat but only because I had held my ground in the beginning with him. I believe that if I had cook or supplied meat for him, he would have feed our son meat. It is hard but if there is respect in a relationship, there will be understanding and agreement. This is a life choice not a negotiable issue for me so it was not up for discussing. I would have been more upset about that than cheating on me so was not a forgivable " sin " . I know I sound harsh but my children are my love and I want the best for them and will not allow them to be subjected any kind of treatment I consider to be bad for them or the environment. Rachel For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2004 Report Share Posted August 17, 2004 I would also recommend a new film called " Peacable Kingdom, " put out by the non-profit org. Tribe of Heart (who also made the fantastic documentary, " The Witness, " ) It uses a lot of Meet your Meat-type footage frp, factory farms, but also contains lots of interviews with people who once worked in animal agriculture, who transformed their thinking and their lives and ultimately decided to go vegan. Very powerful! Here is info about Peacable Kingdom (you can order it at http://www.tribeofheart.org/pk.htm) : " What is more beautiful than a child delighting in an animal? And how does this same child grow up to care about dogs and cats, but not cows, pigs and chickens? Do animals raised for human food have emotional lives and family bonds? What happens to farm kids when they are asked to take the lives of the animals they have cared for? Why would a factory farmer leave his profession to become an animal advocate? At a time when factory farming is in the headlines for putting the environment and public health at risk, Peaceable Kingdom takes its audience on an eye-opening journey to the heart of this unfolding national drama. Propelled by the testimony of farmers who have themselves come to question the fundamental assumptions behind their community's way of life, the film delivers a riveting portrait of human and animal lives caught up in an out of control industrial machine. Much more than an exposé, Peaceable Kingdom is about personal redemption, commitment, healing and hope, offering a life-changing vision of a peaceful world that is well within our reach. " > Ask him to watch Meet Your Meat. I know a few heavy > meat eaters (Adkins-diet type) who went vegan after > seeing it. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 > Jodi de Vries <jodi.de.vries > Re: Re: Re: non-veg husband > > Hello all, > > Thanks for the comments -- esp. from Doh. I'm glad my thoughts were constructive. I worried after I sent it that it came across impatient. Well, I *am* a bit tired of that ol' " let the kid decide " argument (at early ages, at least). My son's smart, but he's still a kid and kids live for the moment, not for their future health. Anyway, grown-ups only use that argument if it suits their side of the issue. > I am rediscovering the issue > with feeding our 3 year old son and reexamining the whole idea behind > letting him make his own food choice decisions. I actually said to my > husband last night that I wondered if he would let him eat cookies and > ice cream and junk food whenever he wants, since that is also letting > him make his own decisions about eating. And what'd he say? Or maybe you were asking him rhetorically. Did it prompt a discussion? > The whole thing started when my > son saw a " Why Vegan " in my car from a demo that my daughter and I did > last weekend. My son started asking me a bunch of questions about the > animals and I answered them as best I could, whitout trying to scare the > little guy. Of course it is questionsbale, letting an almost 4 year old > see a " Why Vegan " .. what do you all think of that? Well, it may be a bit beyond his realm and unpleasant but, y'know, that happens to kids every day. I mean, geez, the fact that I have to work every day is a bit beyond my son's realm, and unpleasant at that. If it were my son seeing a Why Vegan, I wouldn't carry on about it, I wouldn't go on and on about animal suffering or other adult understandings, I'd keep it simple and casual. It is my approach with my son that I act as if it's perfectly normal to be vegan, not something we really make a big issue about. I explain that other people feel that it's ok to eat animals, but I don't want to eat animals. I make it as easy as possible for him to be vegan, but I don't dwell on it otherwise. Kinda like keeping kosher - it's just what you do. Take care, Doh ---------- " One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes. " ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery, in The Little Prince. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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