I think the preschool fed my son turkey!!

[Guest guest]

I am so upset, I was almost crying this morning and my stomach has been turning

ever since. My

son's preschool class had a Thanksgiving feast at snacktime (the class is only 2

1/2 hrs) and they

served him turkey. I'm so proud of my son, because when they said they were

eating turkey he told

them that he was veggietarian (I love the way he says it). But when I went back

the teachers

could not confirm if he was served it or not. I'm pretty sure they put it on

his plate and he ate

it after he told them he was veg. I always make a special point of it when I

bring him anywhere

so there is no confusion. There was no advance notice of this kind of feast,

and since they

usually only have a cracker/fruit/juice snack, I didn't even bring it up to them

as a reminder. I

felt so betrayed by the school and felt bad for my son as he saw the shock on my

face when he told

me that they all had turkey for snack. He was confused because he was proud to

tell me that he

didn't eat it, then he said he did, then no that the other kids did. I wasn't

accusing, just

trying to understand the situation and he seemed caught by what he wanted (since

he's so proud to

tell everyone we don't eat meat) and what actually might have happened. We went

back into the

school to help reassure him that he didn't eat meat. But it seems like he told

one teacher he was

veg, and she smiled nicely, and someone else served him the turkey. One of the

teacher's gave me

a look like I was making a big deal out of nothing and the other was apologetic

(understand that

I'm a polite and mild mannered person, so I was being nice, even though I was

fuming and disgusted

on the inside - since I will probably still be bringing my son back here). But

I don't feel so

confident that I should keep him in. I've been debating it anyway since I no

longer have a

part-time job and the extra payout is really squeezing us. I'm trying to do

something for my son

to get better socialized, but I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Parenting

is so hard. We

just keep trying to do everything for the best and you never know what might

come around the

corner and throw you.

 

On a much more serious note, my ds, dd, and I are still mentally recovering

from being hit by a

careless driver while we were walking across the street in the crosswalk.

Unbelievable and

thankfully we are all physically okay. But just another example of trying to do

everything to the

best of your ability and you never know what can happen when you go out into the

world.

 

I keep trying to find some incentives and keep getting depressed about the

littlest things. The

turkey thing this morning just was so to the core of a belief that I'm trying to

instill in my

children and I don't believe how easy it is for people to disrespect that.

Shouldn't it at least

have crossed their minds to inform the parents what they were planning? Thanks

for letting me

vent.

 

I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving either now. We are celebrating at a

family who the last

time had meat in every dish, and so we nearly had bread and butter. They were

embarrassed that I

rinsed the pasta off to get the meat sauce off of it. Luckily there will be

lots of other sides,

but this took really took the wind out of my sails for the week.

 

 

 

 

 

The all-new My - Get yours free!

 

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry to hear this story.I rally appreciate my daughters pre-school.She

attends a head-start program and due to our low income she attends for free.It's

a wonderful program that she loves and th teachers are very respectful of our

vegtarianism.Once when Kira's vegatarian meal wasn't provided they immediately

called me to let me know and give me the oppurtunity to bring her something

instead of just giving her the meat.I hope you don't have to deal with this

again.

 

janeen minguillo <jminshan wrote:

I am so upset, I was almost crying this morning and my stomach has been turning

ever since. My

son's preschool class had a Thanksgiving feast at snacktime (the class is only 2

1/2 hrs) and they

served him turkey. I'm so proud of my son, because when they said they were

eating turkey he told

them that he was veggietarian (I love the way he says it). But when I went back

the teachers

could not confirm if he was served it or not. I'm pretty sure they put it on

his plate and he ate

it after he told them he was veg. I always make a special point of it when I

bring him anywhere

so there is no confusion. There was no advance notice of this kind of feast,

and since they

usually only have a cracker/fruit/juice snack, I didn't even bring it up to them

as a reminder. I

felt so betrayed by the school and felt bad for my son as he saw the shock on my

face when he told

me that they all had turkey for snack. He was confused because he was proud to

tell me that he

didn't eat it, then he said he did, then no that the other kids did. I wasn't

accusing, just

trying to understand the situation and he seemed caught by what he wanted (since

he's so proud to

tell everyone we don't eat meat) and what actually might have happened. We went

back into the

school to help reassure him that he didn't eat meat. But it seems like he told

one teacher he was

veg, and she smiled nicely, and someone else served him the turkey. One of the

teacher's gave me

a look like I was making a big deal out of nothing and the other was apologetic

(understand that

I'm a polite and mild mannered person, so I was being nice, even though I was

fuming and disgusted

on the inside - since I will probably still be bringing my son back here). But

I don't feel so

confident that I should keep him in. I've been debating it anyway since I no

longer have a

part-time job and the extra payout is really squeezing us. I'm trying to do

something for my son

to get better socialized, but I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Parenting

is so hard. We

just keep trying to do everything for the best and you never know what might

come around the

corner and throw you.

 

On a much more serious note, my ds, dd, and I are still mentally recovering

from being hit by a

careless driver while we were walking across the street in the crosswalk.

Unbelievable and

thankfully we are all physically okay. But just another example of trying to do

everything to the

best of your ability and you never know what can happen when you go out into the

world.

 

I keep trying to find some incentives and keep getting depressed about the

littlest things. The

turkey thing this morning just was so to the core of a belief that I'm trying to

instill in my

children and I don't believe how easy it is for people to disrespect that.

Shouldn't it at least

have crossed their minds to inform the parents what they were planning? Thanks

for letting me

vent.

 

I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving either now. We are celebrating at a

family who the last

time had meat in every dish, and so we nearly had bread and butter. They were

embarrassed that I

rinsed the pasta off to get the meat sauce off of it. Luckily there will be

lots of other sides,

but this took really took the wind out of my sails for the week.

 

 

 

 

 

The all-new My - Get yours free!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to

provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a

qualified health professional.

 

edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health

professional.

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I can't believe they didn't tell you! They can't send a notice home about

things like this? What if a child was allergic and had a reaction. I have a

friend who is allergic to all poultry products. My daughters pre-k class sent

home a notice about a month ago that they would be having a Thanksgiving feast.

As it turned out my daughter has been sick for the past three days. Some people

are vegetarian for reliogious reasons....my husband works with a guy who is

Indian and his family is vegetarian because of their religion. It makes me sick

to think that they would feed a kid meat that it was against his

religion......and really it is about your religion, because this is part of your

core belief system....your own religion in a sense. I've given my daughters

pre-school strict instructions on what they can feed her and what they can't.

For us it's more the issues with her adhd....anything with dye in it makes her

would up for 24 hrs. or more until it's out of the system. So if

she eats anything with dye she won't sleep that night. I would be very upset

if they did not follow my instructions. You have every right to be upset.

People just don't stop and think....they just don't get it.

 

Kelly

 

janeen minguillo <jminshan wrote:

 

they

served him turkey.

 

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to

provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a

qualified health professional.

 

edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health

professional.

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I can only advise you top put your children in a Seventh Day Adventist day

school. They serve Vegetarian meals only They also repeat your wishes. Many

vegetarians or people that are of a different mind set from the norm are

subjected to all kinds of ignorance, from uncaring people.

Be Well,

Lynda

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Janeen,

 

This situation with your son was horrible and I know just how you feel. Last

year at the end-of-year picnic at my son's preschool, I walked into the little

lunchroom to find all the kids digging into plates of hot dogs that had been

served to them by the volunteer parents working on the picnic. This was after I

had a) provided the school with written instructions about my son's food

requirements, b) worked closely with his teacher all year to be sure she

understood the vegetarian issues for him, and c) requested that I be informed of

any special events that involved food so I could be sure to provide something he

could eat. As I quickly intercepted the hot dog, I calmly asked some of the

organizers who were standing nearby if there was an option for children who did

not eat hot dogs (goodness -- even if we ate meat I'd never ever let my child

eat hot dogs). They looked at me as if I had lost my mind -- that the

possibility of a child not eating a hot dog had never been considered. My son

ate potato chips and a roll with ketchup on it for lunch.

 

In our case, this will not be repeated at this year's picnic, I will be sure of

that. If I were you, since it's after the fact already, I would explain your

objection to the turkey in writing, preferably to the head of the preschool, in

a very nonconfrontational way, and request that you be informed of any future

school events in which food will be served to your son. There is no guarantee

that anyone will fully understand the issues involved, but by getting it down on

paper you at least have something to fall back on if it happens again. I think

that if you ignore the incident you miss out on a good opportunity to begin

educating your son's teachers about students who make alternative food choices.

 

Good luck. It's tough to know what to do all the frustration in a case like

this, but try to figure out a way to get something positive out of it. And give

your little guy a big hug for trying to do the right thing in a situation that

must have been very confusing for him.

 

Terry

-

janeen minguillo

Tuesday, November 23, 2004 4:58 PM

I think the preschool fed my son turkey!!

 

 

 

I am so upset, I was almost crying this morning and my stomach has been

turning ever since. My

son's preschool class had a Thanksgiving feast at snacktime (the class is only

2 1/2 hrs) and they

served him turkey. I'm so proud of my son, because when they said they were

eating turkey he told

them that he was veggietarian (I love the way he says it). But when I went

back the teachers

could not confirm if he was served it or not. I'm pretty sure they put it on

his plate and he ate

it after he told them he was veg. I always make a special point of it when I

bring him anywhere

so there is no confusion. There was no advance notice of this kind of feast,

and since they

usually only have a cracker/fruit/juice snack, I didn't even bring it up to

them as a reminder. I

felt so betrayed by the school and felt bad for my son as he saw the shock on

my face when he told

me that they all had turkey for snack. He was confused because he was proud

to tell me that he

didn't eat it, then he said he did, then no that the other kids did. I wasn't

accusing, just

trying to understand the situation and he seemed caught by what he wanted

(since he's so proud to

tell everyone we don't eat meat) and what actually might have happened. We

went back into the

school to help reassure him that he didn't eat meat. But it seems like he

told one teacher he was

veg, and she smiled nicely, and someone else served him the turkey. One of

the teacher's gave me

a look like I was making a big deal out of nothing and the other was

apologetic (understand that

I'm a polite and mild mannered person, so I was being nice, even though I was

fuming and disgusted

on the inside - since I will probably still be bringing my son back here).

But I don't feel so

confident that I should keep him in. I've been debating it anyway since I no

longer have a

part-time job and the extra payout is really squeezing us. I'm trying to do

something for my son

to get better socialized, but I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

Parenting is so hard. We

just keep trying to do everything for the best and you never know what might

come around the

corner and throw you.

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

On Tue, 23 Nov 2004, janeen minguillo wrote:

 

> I am so upset, I was almost crying this morning and my stomach has been

turning ever since. My

> son's preschool class had a Thanksgiving feast at snacktime (the class is only

2 1/2 hrs) and they

> served him turkey.

 

I would be really upset by this too. Any preschool ought to be more

conscientious about the children's dietary restrictions. You shouldn't

have to remind them every day that he has a special diet. They should

have procedures in place to make sure he is not presented with

unacceptable food. I would have trouble regaining trust in a school that

is so lax about feeding policies. (What if a child had a serious allergy?

Would a parent still have to remind the staff every day? That hardly

seems safe.)

 

My own children's preschool has a rule that every snack must be acceptable

to every child in the class. That means the snacks in my kids' classes

are always vegan, and also that there are no bananas in my son's class,

since another child has an allergy. There was a school-wide Thanksgiving

feast this week, and every dish served was vegan and free of ingredients

to which any child had a known allergy. It's a cooperative preschool,

which I think really helps. No parent wants to see their child endangered

or their authority undermined, and since the parents have such a big role

in day-to-day operations and setting policy the school as a result is very

responsive to individual needs. You may want to consider switching your

son to a cooperative preschool if you can find one with openings in your

area. They are also often somewhat less expensive than non-coop

preschools (but not always).

 

> On a much more serious note, my ds, dd, and I are still mentally recovering

from being hit by a

> careless driver while we were walking across the street in the crosswalk.

Unbelievable and

> thankfully we are all physically okay. But just another example of trying to

do everything to the

> best of your ability and you never know what can happen when you go out into

the world.

 

It's no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed. You've clearly got a lot to

deal with right now. I'm so glad you are all okay.

 

----

Patricia Bullington-McGuire <patricia

 

The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the problem analytically, discovered

three distinct kinds of dragon: the mythical, the chimerical, and the

purely hypothetical. They were all, one might say, nonexistent, but each

nonexisted in an entirely different way ...

-- Stanislaw Lem, " Cyberiad "

[Guest guest]

Hi Janeen,

 

I'm new to this group and this is my first post. I can totally understand where

you are coming from and wish I could say more to help in some way. I am not

there yet with my 13mth old daughter and any preschool but I know these things

will have to be navigated. Yes, I would definitely agree they should have

advised the parents of their planned " feast " so you could have been prepared.

How proud you must have been though of your son's ability to communicate his

" veggietarianess. " Hopefully this experience will come out somewhat positive in

that in the future, those insensitive teachers will be more careful and

considerate. I feel like you do sometimes about the wind being taken out of

your sails when you're just trying to do the right thing by your family. It's

very isolating going down this path sometimes. Thank goodness you are all ok

from that accident too!

 

I know this post is too late for this idea, but as a suggestion for the future

perhaps you could bring some dishes for yourselves (guaranteeing you will enjoy

a meal) and with enough to share with others. I am just recently starting to do

this.

 

I am with my inlaws for Thanksgiving and they are all meateaters but this year I

have brought some of my own dishes to serve my daughter and myself and to share

with others. That is unlikely though as they view my food as strange, so we'll

see what happens. They all know I'm vegetarian but I have recently become vegan

which I havn't mentioned yet. We're raising our daughter veggie until she is

old enough to understand and decide for herself. I don't care what his family

thinks and last night when asked if Nikki was going to be raised vegetarian, I

said oh yes, that we like our animals live.

 

Sorry for being so long and hijacking your post. I think I needed to vent too!

I could go on ..........

 

Shawna

 

 

 

 

All your favorites on one personal page – Try My

 

 

[Guest guest]

I had a similar experience during my son's first year in preschool. It was

right before his fourth birthday and they made turkey soup for their

Thanksgiving Feast. The teacher was aware that he is a vegetarian AND he even

told

her that " my Mom doesn't make soup like that " . He tried the turkey and spit

it out, but I was angry that he was put in that situation as the teacher had

been made aware of our diet. When I very nicely approached the teacher she

looked guilty and apologetic but never actually apologized. It was clear to me

that she thought it was no big deal. I couldn't help but think that if we

were vegetarian because of our religious beliefs or if my son was allergic to

turkey, she would have remembered. A personal preference didn't make an

impression on her.

 

In any case, take heart that it was probably an anomaly. My son is in First

Grade now and I've had no further incidents and my younger son just made it

through his first Thanksgiving Feast at preschool with no problems. The rest

of their teachers have been respectful and reassuring. These days there are

so many food allergies that any smart teacher should be careful what she/he

feeds her students.

 

Also, I am extremely fortunate to have a pediatrician who is a big supporter

of our vegetarian ways. He has told me on numerous occasions to stick with

our diet as it is wonderful for the children and to never let anyone sway me

into thinking otherwise. He is not a vegetarian himself.

 

Good luck and take care!! : )

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I know you must be very dissapointed. My 9 yr old can stand up for herself

and will NOT eat meat even if offered, but your son didn't have a chance. I

know that " lady your crazy " look you get when you have to tell the

uninformed (and often ignorant) about what not to feed your child. Keep

smiling at them, but make sure they know that feeding a vegetarin child meat

is not acceptable.

 

Good Luck!

Jodi

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry that you had to go thru that. my mom fed my daughter chkn noodle

soup a few times when she was three or so. her excuse was " oh it isn't real

meat. " ugh!! it WAS real meat with REAL chkn broth. she did it to make me mad.

our soceityis sadly so ignorant and so afraid of things they don't understand..

c

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Kelly,

 

My son who is very laid back and quiet is totally hyper if he has red food

dye. I was such a crunchy granola mom when he was little that I didn't even

see this reaction until I had given him red children's Tylenol at about

18mos. He was bouncing off the walls and was up all night! He gets

uncoordinated from it too and falls down and drops things. It is really

bizarre to see. When he hasn't had it he is totally fine.

 

Jacqueline - who is an adult with ADHD and doing pretty well

 

 

 

 

Kelly Weyd [kellmar98]

November 24, 2004 3:24 PM

 

Re: I think the preschool fed my son turkey!!

 

 

 

I can't believe they didn't tell you! They can't send a notice home about

things like this? What if a child was allergic and had a reaction. I have

a friend who is allergic to all poultry products. My daughters pre-k class

sent home a notice about a month ago that they would be having a

Thanksgiving feast. As it turned out my daughter has been sick for the past

three days. Some people are vegetarian for reliogious reasons....my husband

works with a guy who is Indian and his family is vegetarian because of their

religion. It makes me sick to think that they would feed a kid meat that it

was against his religion......and really it is about your religion, because

this is part of your core belief system....your own religion in a sense.

I've given my daughters pre-school strict instructions on what they can feed

her and what they can't. For us it's more the issues with her

adhd....anything with dye in it makes her would up for 24 hrs. or more until

it's out of the system. So if

she eats anything with dye she won't sleep that night. I would be very

upset if they did not follow my instructions. You have every right to be

upset. People just don't stop and think....they just don't get it.

 

Kelly

 

janeen minguillo <jminshan wrote:

 

they

served him turkey.

 

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to

provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a

qualified health professional.

 

edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health

professional.