Guest guest Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 I need support from the group that I know will understand the most. Last night at my family Hanukkah party, my almost 3 year old had a frank in a blanket. We serve meat too (my husband is not veggy) But my daughter has never had a morsel of meat. I always explain simply that hamburger and hotdogs come from a cow. And she calls herself a " begerian " (so cute) Last night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. It was handled so wrong. The funny thing is that for my gift from my aunt I got a vegetarian cookbook. How ironic. I am so depressed...My husband and I have always said she can make the choice. But she's not even 3!! Karyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 Karyn, It sounds like your aunt was very disrespectful of your wishes. I would call her and kindly speak to her about that and let her no that it must not happen again in the future. That was so rude and disrespectful.... sorry... In a message dated 12/13/2004 5:51:54 AM Pacific Standard Time, karyn writes: I need support from the group that I know will understand the most. Last night at my family Hanukkah party, my almost 3 year old had a frank in a blanket. We serve meat too (my husband is not veggy) But my daughter has never had a morsel of meat. I always explain simply that hamburger and hotdogs come from a cow. And she calls herself a " begerian " (so cute) Last night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. It was handled so wrong. The funny thing is that for my gift from my aunt I got a vegetarian cookbook. How ironic. I am so depressed...My husband and I have always said she can make the choice. But she's not even 3!! Karyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 Hi Karyn I do know how you feel. My husband is also not veg but all of my kids are now. They weren't always, though. My oldest, age 10, was always a real meat lover. She still loves the taste of meat but doesn't eat it for ethical reasons. she came to that decision herself. My middle daughter, now age7, was vegan until she was 18 months old when my sister-in-law gave her McDonalds chicken nuggets. she has never really liked meat and for years the only meat she ate was chicken nuggets. I was furious when I found out that she had chicken. But again, she has now decided for herself that she doesn't want to eat any animals. We serve chicken free nuggets now from Health is Wealth. Both older girls are ovo-lacto veg. My baby only started eating cereal yesterday. I gave her Earths Best rice cereal. She will be vegan and I will make sure that everyone knows it. Keep setting a good example and your daughter will pick up on it. Also, next time you have the right to say no. I know it is tough when everyone, including hubby, is saying to give in but be strong. You do know what is best for your child. Carol Karyn <karyn wrote: I need support from the group that I know will understand the most. Last night at my family Hanukkah party, my almost 3 year old had a frank in a blanket. We serve meat too (my husband is not veggy) But my daughter has never had a morsel of meat. I always explain simply that hamburger and hotdogs come from a cow. And she calls herself a " begerian " (so cute) Last night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. It was handled so wrong. The funny thing is that for my gift from my aunt I got a vegetarian cookbook. How ironic. I am so depressed...My husband and I have always said she can make the choice. But she's not even 3!! Karyn For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 first let me that I am truly sorry. that is a hard thing to deal with especially from family. my mother gave my daughter chkn noodle soup once and I was fuming!! the best thing I can say is to maybe talk to her alone and explain that you and rayna are vegetarians and that she and everyone else need to respect your beliefs as you respect thiers. this is how you are raising your child and once she is older and can make a concious choice then she can choose to eat or not eat meat. I really know how you feel. sofyea had not one morsel either until then. she will now tell everyone that she does not eat meat and if it is accidently put in front of her somewhere she will tell that person that she canm not eat that. also discuss with rayna the fact that you are veggies. I hope this helps and good luck!! cristene - Karyn<karyn < > Sunday, December 12, 2004 7:31 PM my daughter had a real hot dog!!! I need support from the group that I know will understand the most. Last night at my family Hanukkah party, my almost 3 year old had a frank in a blanket. We serve meat too (my husband is not veggy) But my daughter has never had a morsel of meat. I always explain simply that hamburger and hotdogs come from a cow. And she calls herself a " begerian " (so cute) Last night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. It was handled so wrong. The funny thing is that for my gift from my aunt I got a vegetarian cookbook. How ironic. I am so depressed...My husband and I have always said she can make the choice. But she's not even 3!! Karyn For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org<http://www.vrg.org/> and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family.This<http://www.vrg.org/family.This> is a discussion list and is not intended to provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 Karyn wrote: << Last night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. >> In your thank you note for the vegetarian cookbook, you could be " evil " and mention how sick your child got after the hotdog!! Liz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2004 Report Share Posted December 13, 2004 >> " all of her cousins want to eat it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and on. Karyn, I would be sooo upset too! What if all her cousins were into drugs, alcohol or cigarettes? Just because they are ALL doing it doesn't justify it for your dd!! And at that age she really doesn't need the 'pressure' from your aunt. Not only rude and insensitive but very disrespectful to you! I am going through a bit of this as well, dd is 3 now and family keeps asking " What are you going to do when she asks for meat? " Well, how do they know that she even will? But obviously we hope she won't want to eat animals and so far she doesn't care to! Feeling your frustrations!! Melodese Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2004 Report Share Posted December 14, 2004 Karyn I'm sorry that this has happenned. I wish I could offer more support but this is all new to me as my daughter is just 13 mths and we haven't come across this so far. I can just feel this turmoil though, as I know it will come. We (my husband isn't veggie) also plan to let our daughter decide for herself but only when she fully understands what she is choosing, maybe around 8-10 yrs old. I think it's really unfortunate your Aunt betrayed you this way, it's just wrong, in my opinion! Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. Shawna Dress up your holiday email, Hollywood style. Learn more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2004 Report Share Posted December 14, 2004 Karyn, It's always good to know that you have a group of people that are willing to step in and let you know that you are ok. We all walk this path in different ways. At holiday time families get pushed over the edge. Your aunt obviously didn't think about why you are vegetarian and the impact that one act would have on you or your daughter. Keep talking to your daugher and as she grows she will understand and form her identity and make choices about food. I told my son who is 9yrs. old now(vegan since birth); I will never serve any animal products in my house, and family meals outside the house will be vegan. When he is 18 and out of the house, he may choose his path. He says he will be vegan and cook vegan when he grows up. Take a deep breath and maybe make some vegan cookies with your daughter to help smooth out the hurt. Peace, Laura (in Maryland) I need support from the group that I know will understand the most. Last night at my family Hanukkah party, my almost 3 year old had a frank in a blanket. We serve meat too (my husband is not veggy) But my daughter has never had a morsel of meat. I always explain simply that hamburger and hotdogs come from a cow. And she calls herself a " begerian " (so cute) Last night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. It was handled so wrong. The funny thing is that for my gift from my aunt I got a vegetarian cookbook. How ironic. I am so depressed...My husband and I have always said she can make the choice. But she's not even 3!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2004 Report Share Posted December 14, 2004 Dear Karyn, I am so sorry that you had to face all of that pressure from your family. Your Aunt was so disrespectful in your house, I'm embarrassed for her. Maybe after having some time to see how wrong she was, you can put together some strong words for her. If you have a hard time talking to her on the phone write her a good letter explaining your feelings. Then if she has no remorse, please let her know that you will no longer welcome someone so disrespectful into your house. Perhaps that's not possible if she is not on your side of the family, and you seem to also be facing pressure from your husband. I can relate and imagine this very same thing in my " mixed " family. Maybe if you are faced with this again, you can just take your child out of the situation and go for a short walk or bring her in another room to discuss your food choices. I have done this on several occassions and my son is thankful, because he was facing a lot of pressure too. Also, something I've come to in my house when I have meat eaters over, is to make any appealing snacks for children meat free. You never know what they (the cousins or even another aunt) might sneak into another room just to have an experiment. I was faced with a meat eating situation just before Thanksgiving and it has opened a lot more discussions with my son since. I was so upset and felt entirely defeated, but don't give up. I hope you can find some strength and open discussions with Rayna. Maybe you can find out how she felt at that time and work from there. Although this is off topic too, large family gatherings make me nervous, because that is a time when children are easily exposed to different things that you may not want them to. Be it a curious cousin of the opposite sex, drugs or any other misbehavior that parents may think would never happen in their own home. I am constantly told to relax when I am at a large gathering, since I tend to visit the kids many times ( sometimes as a silent observer way/sometimes to play and put things in a positive environment). We had a few family gatherings as a child with our large extended family and it crossed a lot of borders. Since I was usually the youngest I was exposed to things that weren't always good examples at an early age. Karyn, my heart goes out to you as you go through this. Good luck and Blessings to you and your family as you celebrate Hanukkah. Janeen --- Karyn <karyn wrote: > > I need support from the group that I know will understand the most. Last > night at my family Hanukkah party, my almost 3 year old had a frank in a > blanket. We serve meat too (my husband is not veggy) But my daughter has > never had a morsel of meat. I always explain simply that hamburger and > hotdogs come from a cow. And she calls herself a " begerian " (so cute) Last > night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat > it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and > on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. It was handled so > wrong. The funny thing is that for my gift from my aunt I got a vegetarian > cookbook. How ironic. I am so depressed...My husband and I have always said > she can make the choice. But she's not even 3!! > > Karyn > > > > > > > > Mail - 250MB free storage. Do more. Manage less. http://info.mail./mail_250 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2004 Report Share Posted December 14, 2004 When my wife died, her parents took my son and I had to get the police to get him back. They have court controlled visitation and among the things they had to promise to the judge was to feed my son his regular vegetarian diet. If they break the rules, they know they lose visitation. The judge said a vegetarian diet may not be what he would choose or what the grandparents want, but there's nothing wrong with it and it's one of the decisions parents have authority to make for their kids. Not long after that when he was five, he started asking questions about a chicken truck he saw. I explained to him about meat and how some people are vegetarians. He decided he wanted to be a vegetarian, and he was happy to discover that he had been one since before birth because his parents were vegetarians for years before he was born. Now when people ask him about being a vegetarian and whether he ever ate meat, he says with embarrassment that his grandparents used to feed him meat. He says he wishes that never happened. It makes him not trust his mom's parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2004 Report Share Posted December 14, 2004 :-(((( Aw, that's just wrong. Someone fed my son ice cream when he was 5 months old - hadn't even started solids yet! I can make 2 suggestions, and you can choose to ignore them. One is to write a letter to your aunt, express your feelings completely, and not send it. Or send it, and deal with the fallout. The other is to try forgive, forget, and move on. No one is served by you holding onto anger/frustration/sadness. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel these things, rather, feel them and try to move past them as soon as possible. You might want to come up with strategies for next time - something to say when you intervene ( " she could get extremely sick! " ), an action plan (leave the event), etc. Sorry. Doh -------- Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible. ~Thich Nhat Hanh > " Karyn " <karyn > my daughter had a real hot dog!!! > > > I need support from the group that I know will understand the most. Last > night at my family Hanukkah party, my almost 3 year old had a frank in a > blanket. We serve meat too (my husband is not veggy) But my daughter has > never had a morsel of meat. I always explain simply that hamburger and > hotdogs come from a cow. And she calls herself a " begerian " (so cute) Last > night my aunt, in front of everyone, said, " all of her cousins want to eat > it, that's not fair for her, she wants it, just let her have it, and on and > on. I was so upset b/c she pretty much handed it to Rayna. It was handled so > wrong. The funny thing is that for my gift from my aunt I got a vegetarian > cookbook. How ironic. I am so depressed...My husband and I have always said > she can make the choice. But she's not even 3!! > > Karyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2004 Report Share Posted December 15, 2004 Oh my goodness, but at least that judge was understading to your choices. It is unfortunate that the grandparents would do a thing like that, though. My husband and I have gone rounds over our daughter's eating. She is two. He is a meat eater, and I am vegan. So, at thanksgiving, I made my daughter and I a meal, and him a turkey. He kept telling my daughter, " What does a turkey say? " She would reply " gobble gobble " . But how confusing for her that her dad ate that, and to make matters worse, he tried to give her a piece of that turkey. She doesn't even try meat, at this point, but I was very angry. I think, he is feeling left out with our daughter's eating habits, but we agreed when she was born that she would be vegan. (sigh) She loves animals so, and is about the only thing she will talk about with people. How could I make her eat one of those " moo-moo " cows? Ya know? Melanie Dick Ford <dickford wrote: When my wife died, her parents took my son and I had to get the police to get him back. They have court controlled visitation and among the things they had to promise to the judge was to feed my son his regular vegetarian diet. If they break the rules, they know they lose visitation. The judge said a vegetarian diet may not be what he would choose or what the grandparents want, but there's nothing wrong with it and it's one of the decisions parents have authority to make for their kids. Not long after that when he was five, he started asking questions about a chicken truck he saw. I explained to him about meat and how some people are vegetarians. He decided he wanted to be a vegetarian, and he was happy to discover that he had been one since before birth because his parents were vegetarians for years before he was born. Now when people ask him about being a vegetarian and whether he ever ate meat, he says with embarrassment that his grandparents used to feed him meat. He says he wishes that never happened. It makes him not trust his mom's parents. For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 I can't begin to thank each and everyone of you for your words of support and excellent suggestions. I am not as upset anymore. I am just going to continue to explain to Rayna what being veggy is and to help her in making the best decision. I probably will speak to my aunt soon, as her b-day is tomorrow, and I'll wish her a happy one. Although I still feel she should have apologized. Thanks again everyone!! Karyn melanie casto [melaniekcasto] Wednesday, December 15, 2004 3:28 PM Re: my daughter had a real hot dog!!! Oh my goodness, but at least that judge was understading to your choices. It is unfortunate that the grandparents would do a thing like that, though. My husband and I have gone rounds over our daughter's eating. She is two. He is a meat eater, and I am vegan. So, at thanksgiving, I made my daughter and I a meal, and him a turkey. He kept telling my daughter, " What does a turkey say? " She would reply " gobble gobble " . But how confusing for her that her dad ate that, and to make matters worse, he tried to give her a piece of that turkey. She doesn't even try meat, at this point, but I was very angry. I think, he is feeling left out with our daughter's eating habits, but we agreed when she was born that she would be vegan. (sigh) She loves animals so, and is about the only thing she will talk about with people. How could I make her eat one of those " moo-moo " cows? Ya know? Melanie Dick Ford <dickford wrote: When my wife died, her parents took my son and I had to get the police to get him back. They have court controlled visitation and among the things they had to promise to the judge was to feed my son his regular vegetarian diet. If they break the rules, they know they lose visitation. The judge said a vegetarian diet may not be what he would choose or what the grandparents want, but there's nothing wrong with it and it's one of the decisions parents have authority to make for their kids. Not long after that when he was five, he started asking questions about a chicken truck he saw. I explained to him about meat and how some people are vegetarians. He decided he wanted to be a vegetarian, and he was happy to discover that he had been one since before birth because his parents were vegetarians for years before he was born. Now when people ask him about being a vegetarian and whether he ever ate meat, he says with embarrassment that his grandparents used to feed him meat. He says he wishes that never happened. It makes him not trust his mom's parents. For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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