Off Topic: Thinkers Anonymous

[Guest guest]

Thinker's Anonymous

 

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and

then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and

soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - " to

relax, " I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true.

 

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was

thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking

and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

 

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, " What is it

exactly we are doing here? " Things weren't going so great at home

either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the

meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

 

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me

in. He said, " Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your

thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the

job, you'll have to find another job. "

 

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my

conversation with the boss. Honey, " I confessed, " I've been thinking... "

" I know you've been thinking, " she said, " and I want a divorce! "

 

" But Honey, surely it's not that serious. " It is serious, " she said,

lower lip a quiver. " You think as much as college professors, and

college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we

won't have any money! "

 

" That's a faulty syllogism, " I said impatiently, and she began to cry.

I'd

had enough. " I'm going to the library, " I snarled as I stomped out the

door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR

on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass

doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.

 

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that

night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass,

whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. " Friend is heavy

thinking ruining your life? " it asked.

 

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's

Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering

thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a

noneducational video; last week it was " Porky's. " Then we share

experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I

still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

 

Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

 

 

 

" The Church says that the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round.

For I have seen the shadow on the moon and I have more faith in the Shadow

than in the Church. " - - Ferdinand Magellan

[Guest guest]

wow this reminds me of a poster in my highschool shop class which

said a well employed plummer is better than an unemployed

philosipher. stay cool, Dave

[Guest guest]

*LOL* Love it!

 

~ PT ~

 

To a worm in horseradish, the whole world is horseradish.

~ Yiddish proverb

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~~>

, The Stewarts <stews9@c...>

wrote:

> Thinker's Anonymous

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering

> thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a

> noneducational video; last week it was " Porky's. " Then we share

> experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I

> still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

>

> Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.