Guest guest Posted February 10, 2007 Report Share Posted February 10, 2007 As a male, I realize I am in the minority in this group, and as a male who had no children til the age of 45 am clearly in a vanishingly smaller minority of males in general. However, I feel strongly about this issue. The idea of vasectomy is often presented as one of a financial preference; HIS thingies being cheaper to neutralize by some three or four car payments than HERS. However, as a male, I am in control of my OWN testes, not SHE, nor will SHE ever be, though she be my wife of nearly 25 years and the mother of my 2 children, 7 and 3 years old respectively, which you may notice provided some 17 years of dispute, not always pleasant or even civil. After that, including a separation of several months after many years of attempting to accommodate, I decided something. Those hangy-downy things are MINE, and if there is some question about it, SHE will disappear from my life before THOSE things do, nor their possible contributions to the future of the species, whether it's a few hundred dollars cheaper or not. Men do NOT have the same choice in this matter as women. WOMEN decide when and whether to have children, MEN DO NOT. Repeat, MEN DO NOT MAKE THAT CHOICE. If a woman decides that SHE doesn't want HIS contributions, SHE is entitled to find whatever other course SHE wishes, OR ELIMINATE HIS CONTRIBUTION, by abortion, WITH or WITHOUT HIS CONSENT, BY LAW--BUT, HE is entitled to HIS choice over HIS body as well. Vasectomy can be, and often is, the ULTIMATE act of a WOMAN choosing what a MAN is going to do with HIS hangy-downy thingys, with HIM often " going along " instead of deciding for HIMSELF. If he does, indeed, choose FOR HIMSELF, that's fine; but if he makes the " wrong " choice, from his female's point of view, for the sake of appeasing HER, he has probably chosen the WRONG FEMALE, one who may have well borne a child or two belonging to a DIFFERENT MALE, as anyone who watches Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, Divorce Court, etc. can attest to. Yes, there's a thousand or two dollars difference between HER sterilizing HERSELF for the next ten or twenty odd years, before nature takes its course, and her choosing FOR HIM for the REST OF ETERNITY, whether her child/ren is/are his OR NOT, but the decision can BY NO MEANS be considered " equal " . HER choice is in regard to the next " x " years, a finite and predictable time which could also be provided for by other mechanical means; HIS is FOREVER. Big difference. Personally, I will NEVER cut up my thingies, that is MY decision, mine alone, end of story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2007 Report Share Posted February 10, 2007 for what it's worth, i would never ask my husband to have a vasectomy. HOWEVER, if it did come down to sterilizing one of us - i can't see this happening right now, but if it did, like, for example, if it became dangerous for me to get pregnant or give birth again - my husband and i are in agreement that he would probably get a vasectomy - NOT because of the money, and NOT because of some weird women's rights thing. there are 3 simple reasons why we would have him do it. 1) the effects of sterilization on a woman are much more profound than for a man. often, it's no different than going through an instantaneous menopause. the effect on hormones can be quite extreme whereas most men don't notice a difference. 2) that effect on hormones can result in higher rates of cancer for me, with no appreciable difference if he were to have a vasectomy. and 3) the surgery for a woman to be sterilized is more dangerous than for a man, even if you ONLY take into account anesthetic. and the recovery is longer. now, i'm NOT saying that i would EVER ask my husband to have a vasectomy. i don't consider sterilization to be that great of a choice for birth control. and i agree with you completely that if a woman wants her husband to be sterilized for shallow reasons like the surgery being cheaper, she should consider that it's permanent for him whereas for her, she may just have to wait a few more years and nature will take care of the issue. but in the event that sterilization becomes NECESSARY, i think it's reasonable to consider having the male do it rather than the woman, for the reasons outlined above. chandelle' On 2/9/07, doovinator <doovinator wrote: > > As a male, I realize I am in the minority in this group, and as a > male who had no children til the age of 45 am clearly in a > vanishingly smaller minority of males in general. However, I feel > strongly about this issue. The idea of vasectomy is often > presented as one of a financial preference; HIS thingies being > cheaper to neutralize by some three or four car payments than > HERS. However, as a male, I am in control of my OWN testes, > not SHE, nor will SHE ever be, though she be my wife of nearly > 25 years and the mother of my 2 children, 7 and 3 years old > respectively, which you may notice provided some 17 years of > dispute, not always pleasant or even civil. After that, including a > separation of several months after many years of attempting to > accommodate, I decided something. Those hangy-downy things > are MINE, and if there is some question about it, SHE will > disappear from my life before THOSE things do, nor their > possible contributions to the future of the species, whether it's a > few hundred dollars cheaper or not. Men do NOT have the same > choice in this matter as women. WOMEN decide when and > whether to have children, MEN DO NOT. Repeat, MEN DO NOT > MAKE THAT CHOICE. If a woman decides that SHE doesn't want > HIS contributions, SHE is entitled to find whatever other course > SHE wishes, OR ELIMINATE HIS CONTRIBUTION, by abortion, > WITH or WITHOUT HIS CONSENT, BY LAW--BUT, HE is entitled > to HIS choice over HIS body as well. Vasectomy can be, and > often is, the ULTIMATE act of a WOMAN choosing what a MAN is > going to do with HIS hangy-downy thingys, with HIM often " going > along " instead of deciding for HIMSELF. If he does, indeed, > choose FOR HIMSELF, that's fine; but if he makes the " wrong " > choice, from his female's point of view, for the sake of appeasing > HER, he has probably chosen the WRONG FEMALE, one who > may have well borne a child or two belonging to a DIFFERENT > MALE, as anyone who watches Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, > Divorce Court, etc. can attest to. Yes, there's a thousand or two > dollars difference between HER sterilizing HERSELF for the next > ten or twenty odd years, before nature takes its course, and her > choosing FOR HIM for the REST OF ETERNITY, whether her > child/ren is/are his OR NOT, but the decision can BY NO MEANS > be considered " equal " . HER choice is in regard to the next " x " > years, a finite and predictable time which could also be provided > for by other mechanical means; HIS is FOREVER. Big difference. > Personally, I will NEVER cut up my thingies, that is MY decision, > mine alone, end of story. > > > > For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at > http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to > http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to > provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a > qualified health professional. > > edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health > professional. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2007 Report Share Posted February 10, 2007 Dude, A vasectomy is not a castration. Every man I know who has had one spent a day or two with an ice pack and then was fine. You need to work on your hostility issues. doovinator <doovinator wrote: As a male, I realize I am in the minority in this group, and as a male who had no children til the age of 45 am clearly in a vanishingly smaller minority of males in general. However, I feel strongly about this issue. The idea of vasectomy is often presented as one of a financial preference; HIS thingies being cheaper to neutralize by some three or four car payments than HERS. However, as a male, I am in control of my OWN testes, not SHE, nor will SHE ever be, though she be my wife of nearly 25 years and the mother of my 2 children, 7 and 3 years old respectively, which you may notice provided some 17 years of dispute, not always pleasant or even civil. After that, including a separation of several months after many years of attempting to accommodate, I decided something. Those hangy-downy things are MINE, and if there is some question about it, SHE will disappear from my life before THOSE things do, nor their possible contributions to the future of the species, whether it's a few hundred dollars cheaper or not. Men do NOT have the same choice in this matter as women. WOMEN decide when and whether to have children, MEN DO NOT. Repeat, MEN DO NOT MAKE THAT CHOICE. If a woman decides that SHE doesn't want HIS contributions, SHE is entitled to find whatever other course SHE wishes, OR ELIMINATE HIS CONTRIBUTION, by abortion, WITH or WITHOUT HIS CONSENT, BY LAW--BUT, HE is entitled to HIS choice over HIS body as well. Vasectomy can be, and often is, the ULTIMATE act of a WOMAN choosing what a MAN is going to do with HIS hangy-downy thingys, with HIM often " going along " instead of deciding for HIMSELF. If he does, indeed, choose FOR HIMSELF, that's fine; but if he makes the " wrong " choice, from his female's point of view, for the sake of appeasing HER, he has probably chosen the WRONG FEMALE, one who may have well borne a child or two belonging to a DIFFERENT MALE, as anyone who watches Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, Divorce Court, etc. can attest to. Yes, there's a thousand or two dollars difference between HER sterilizing HERSELF for the next ten or twenty odd years, before nature takes its course, and her choosing FOR HIM for the REST OF ETERNITY, whether her child/ren is/are his OR NOT, but the decision can BY NO MEANS be considered " equal " . HER choice is in regard to the next " x " years, a finite and predictable time which could also be provided for by other mechanical means; HIS is FOREVER. Big difference. Personally, I will NEVER cut up my thingies, that is MY decision, mine alone, end of story. Everyone is raving about the all-new Mail beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2007 Report Share Posted February 11, 2007 I don't think anyone is forcing their husbands to have a vasectomy. My husband is in the military, so a vasectomy or tube-tying operation are both at no cost to us. Tube tying is more invasive. Jeff and I have talked about this and I don't want to keep up on birth control, pumping my body full of hormones. He recognizes that I have given birth to two children, one without any sort of anesthesia, and he respects me enough to not expect me to take complete responsibility for birth control. If a man won't have a vasectomy and a woman doesn't want to carry the full burden of both the birth control and the results of it failing if that happens, hey, no sex for anybody. As for women having children from different fathers, some of us make mistakes. My daughter's biological father is not my husband and that is how things are. That doesn't make me a bad person. I didn't even know my husband at the time Leah was conceived or even born. Lots of men have children from different mothers- what's the difference? If my husband chooses not to have a vasectomy, fine. He'll wear a condom. He hates condoms, but I guarantee I hate being pregnant a thousand times more than he hates condoms and if it comes down to it I'd rather be without sex. doovinator <doovinator wrote: As a male, I realize I am in the minority in this group, and as a male who had no children til the age of 45 am clearly in a vanishingly smaller minority of males in general. However, I feel strongly about this issue. The idea of vasectomy is often presented as one of a financial preference; HIS thingies being cheaper to neutralize by some three or four car payments than HERS. However, as a male, I am in control of my OWN testes, not SHE, nor will SHE ever be, though she be my wife of nearly 25 years and the mother of my 2 children, 7 and 3 years old respectively, which you may notice provided some 17 years of dispute, not always pleasant or even civil. After that, including a separation of several months after many years of attempting to accommodate, I decided something. Those hangy-downy things are MINE, and if there is some question about it, SHE will disappear from my life before THOSE things do, nor their possible contributions to the future of the species, whether it's a few hundred dollars cheaper or not. Men do NOT have the same choice in this matter as women. WOMEN decide when and whether to have children, MEN DO NOT. Repeat, MEN DO NOT MAKE THAT CHOICE. If a woman decides that SHE doesn't want HIS contributions, SHE is entitled to find whatever other course SHE wishes, OR ELIMINATE HIS CONTRIBUTION, by abortion, WITH or WITHOUT HIS CONSENT, BY LAW--BUT, HE is entitled to HIS choice over HIS body as well. Vasectomy can be, and often is, the ULTIMATE act of a WOMAN choosing what a MAN is going to do with HIS hangy-downy thingys, with HIM often " going along " instead of deciding for HIMSELF. If he does, indeed, choose FOR HIMSELF, that's fine; but if he makes the " wrong " choice, from his female's point of view, for the sake of appeasing HER, he has probably chosen the WRONG FEMALE, one who may have well borne a child or two belonging to a DIFFERENT MALE, as anyone who watches Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, Divorce Court, etc. can attest to. Yes, there's a thousand or two dollars difference between HER sterilizing HERSELF for the next ten or twenty odd years, before nature takes its course, and her choosing FOR HIM for the REST OF ETERNITY, whether her child/ren is/are his OR NOT, but the decision can BY NO MEANS be considered " equal " . HER choice is in regard to the next " x " years, a finite and predictable time which could also be provided for by other mechanical means; HIS is FOREVER. Big difference. Personally, I will NEVER cut up my thingies, that is MY decision, mine alone, end of story. Kadee Sedtal Brain: " Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? " Pinky: " I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice? " Check out my new , Classical 2 at http://launch.classical2/ Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate in the Answers Food & Drink Q & A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2007 Report Share Posted February 11, 2007 Vasectomies can be reversed. It's not successful 100% of the time, but it usually is. chandelle' <earthmother213 wrote: for what it's worth, i would never ask my husband to have a vasectomy. HOWEVER, if it did come down to sterilizing one of us - i can't see this happening right now, but if it did, like, for example, if it became dangerous for me to get pregnant or give birth again - my husband and i are in agreement that he would probably get a vasectomy - NOT because of the money, and NOT because of some weird women's rights thing. there are 3 simple reasons why we would have him do it. 1) the effects of sterilization on a woman are much more profound than for a man. often, it's no different than going through an instantaneous menopause. the effect on hormones can be quite extreme whereas most men don't notice a difference. 2) that effect on hormones can result in higher rates of cancer for me, with no appreciable difference if he were to have a vasectomy. and 3) the surgery for a woman to be sterilized is more dangerous than for a man, even if you ONLY take into account anesthetic. and the recovery is longer. now, i'm NOT saying that i would EVER ask my husband to have a vasectomy. i don't consider sterilization to be that great of a choice for birth control. and i agree with you completely that if a woman wants her husband to be sterilized for shallow reasons like the surgery being cheaper, she should consider that it's permanent for him whereas for her, she may just have to wait a few more years and nature will take care of the issue. but in the event that sterilization becomes NECESSARY, i think it's reasonable to consider having the male do it rather than the woman, for the reasons outlined above. chandelle' On 2/9/07, doovinator <doovinator wrote: > > As a male, I realize I am in the minority in this group, and as a > male who had no children til the age of 45 am clearly in a > vanishingly smaller minority of males in general. However, I feel > strongly about this issue. The idea of vasectomy is often > presented as one of a financial preference; HIS thingies being > cheaper to neutralize by some three or four car payments than > HERS. However, as a male, I am in control of my OWN testes, > not SHE, nor will SHE ever be, though she be my wife of nearly > 25 years and the mother of my 2 children, 7 and 3 years old > respectively, which you may notice provided some 17 years of > dispute, not always pleasant or even civil. After that, including a > separation of several months after many years of attempting to > accommodate, I decided something. Those hangy-downy things > are MINE, and if there is some question about it, SHE will > disappear from my life before THOSE things do, nor their > possible contributions to the future of the species, whether it's a > few hundred dollars cheaper or not. Men do NOT have the same > choice in this matter as women. WOMEN decide when and > whether to have children, MEN DO NOT. Repeat, MEN DO NOT > MAKE THAT CHOICE. If a woman decides that SHE doesn't want > HIS contributions, SHE is entitled to find whatever other course > SHE wishes, OR ELIMINATE HIS CONTRIBUTION, by abortion, > WITH or WITHOUT HIS CONSENT, BY LAW--BUT, HE is entitled > to HIS choice over HIS body as well. Vasectomy can be, and > often is, the ULTIMATE act of a WOMAN choosing what a MAN is > going to do with HIS hangy-downy thingys, with HIM often " going > along " instead of deciding for HIMSELF. If he does, indeed, > choose FOR HIMSELF, that's fine; but if he makes the " wrong " > choice, from his female's point of view, for the sake of appeasing > HER, he has probably chosen the WRONG FEMALE, one who > may have well borne a child or two belonging to a DIFFERENT > MALE, as anyone who watches Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, > Divorce Court, etc. can attest to. Yes, there's a thousand or two > dollars difference between HER sterilizing HERSELF for the next > ten or twenty odd years, before nature takes its course, and her > choosing FOR HIM for the REST OF ETERNITY, whether her > child/ren is/are his OR NOT, but the decision can BY NO MEANS > be considered " equal " . HER choice is in regard to the next " x " > years, a finite and predictable time which could also be provided > for by other mechanical means; HIS is FOREVER. Big difference. > Personally, I will NEVER cut up my thingies, that is MY decision, > mine alone, end of story. > > > > For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at > http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to > http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to > provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a > qualified health professional. > > edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health > professional. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.