Great article on what is a normal diet! (My Grandfather)

August 11, 2006

You're right, Melanie, and thanks for your concern!

My grandfather is a very powerful (financial) figure in our family. He knows

it, so he decides to behave like a control freak. He loves to find things about

other family members to criticize, except for his 'perfect' son (my father) and

my younger cousin, because she got married and had kids and I haven't yet. My

grandfather makes comparisons of family members to other family members, like,

" Why can't you be more like so-and-so? " and " You're just like your Uncle

George! " (the 'black sheep' of the family). He still comes into work at our

family business, usually just in time to see me chop vegetables in the kitchen.

Then he goes off at me, as if I'm embarrassing him for being an extremist.

Everytime he does this, he mentions that he's 81 years old and that our bodies

are very powerful machines when it comes to digesting, so there's no reason why

I shouldn't be able to sit down to a full-course meal (of the 90% cooked

S.A.D.). My recourse everytime is, " And how many

times have you had cancer? " (6 times, and he's never smoked nor drank much

alcohol). You know what his mentality to that is?! To just have

chemotherapy/surgery/drugs and you'll be back to normal within a year! Yes, I

tell him that I don't want to live an unhealthy life and get cancer, blah blah.

But he then gets furious, throws his hands in the air and says that he can't

tell me anything, no one can, what a shame, because I'm bull-headed, I have an

unhealthy OBSESSION, etc. The last time he said that, I turned it around and

said " AND YOU'RE NOT?! I can't even have a normal conversation with you about

ANYTHING because all you want to do is change the subject to food and attack me

on it; YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S OBSESSED! " . My parents were shocked that I stood up

for myself like that. They said nobody would have ever had the guts to talk to

him in that way. The best part is that one of his best friends was there that

day and backed me up!

What makes me so upset is that he does this only when there's other people

around. He tries to get others to see that I need the help of a psychiatrist by

exposing my private life - relating my slight childhood learning disability to

my 'oddball diet', and insisting that I WANT to be an oddball in order to get

attention, just like a child, when I'm actually a very quiet, level-headed

non-conformist. So obviously I don't want others to get any wrong ideas and

treat me differently or avoid me; that's why I waste my time putting him back in

his place, so to speak. Even that doesn't work because he always had to have

the last word, which resorts to him lying: " O.K. then, be that way, have a

boring, restricting life, but stop pushing it on other people! " (He walks in on

conversations I'm having with co-workers who ask me questions. When I give a

short response or explanation, he assumes I'm preaching/pushing health tips on

them.)

-Tiffany

melanieburtis <melanieburtis wrote:

> (It would be perfect if I could MEMORIZE it, that way I can immediately

defend myself the next time my grandfather attacks me over my choice of foods!!)

-Tiffany Lohr <

Tiffany, Couldn't help but add my 2 cents here, and I hope you are not offended.

Stand firm in your ability to make your own choices and feel secure and happy

with those choices. Then you will no longer be open to attacks by anyone

regarding your choices, no matter what they are!

Melanie

August 12, 2006

Hey Tiffany,

Good for you standing up to your Grandfather!

Sometimes saying F..K you is empowering and freeing!

It is also good to examine closely why he gets under your skin?

Aloha!

Steve

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NatuRAW

415-456-1719 x 111

775-587-8613 fax

415-342-0527 Cell

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4b. Re: Great article on what is a " normal " diet! (My Grandfather)

Posted by: " Tiffany " bluelairess bluelairess

Fri Aug 11, 2006 3:12 pm (PDT)

You're right, Melanie, and thanks for your concern!

My grandfather is a very powerful (financial) figure in our family.

He knows it, so he decides to behave like a control freak. He loves to

find things about other family members to criticize, except for his

'perfect' son (my father) and my younger cousin, because she got married

and had kids and I haven't yet. My grandfather makes comparisons of

family members to other family members, like, " Why can't you be more

like so-and-so? " and " You're just like your Uncle George! " (the 'black

sheep' of the family). He still comes into work at our family business,

usually just in time to see me chop vegetables in the kitchen. Then he

goes off at me, as if I'm embarrassing him for being an extremist.

Everytime he does this, he mentions that he's 81 years old and that our

bodies are very powerful machines when it comes to digesting, so there's

no reason why I shouldn't be able to sit down to a full-course meal (of

the 90% cooked S.A.D.). My recourse everytime is, " And how many

times have you had cancer? " (6 times, and he's never smoked nor drank

much alcohol). You know what his mentality to that is?! To just have

chemotherapy/surgery/drugs and you'll be back to normal within a year!

Yes, I tell him that I don't want to live an unhealthy life and get

cancer, blah blah. But he then gets furious, throws his hands in the

air and says that he can't tell me anything, no one can, what a shame,

because I'm bull-headed, I have an unhealthy OBSESSION, etc. The last

time he said that, I turned it around and said " AND YOU'RE NOT?! I

can't even have a normal conversation with you about ANYTHING because

all you want to do is change the subject to food and attack me on it;

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S OBSESSED! " . My parents were shocked that I stood

up for myself like that. They said nobody would have ever had the guts

to talk to him in that way. The best part is that one of his best

friends was there that day and backed me up!

What makes me so upset is that he does this only when there's other

people around. He tries to get others to see that I need the help of a

psychiatrist by exposing my private life - relating my slight childhood

learning disability to my 'oddball diet', and insisting that I WANT to

be an oddball in order to get attention, just like a child, when I'm

actually a very quiet, level-headed non-conformist. So obviously I

don't want others to get any wrong ideas and treat me differently or

avoid me; that's why I waste my time putting him back in his place, so

to speak. Even that doesn't work because he always had to have the last

word, which resorts to him lying: " O.K. then, be that way, have a

boring, restricting life, but stop pushing it on other people! " (He

walks in on conversations I'm having with co-workers who ask me

questions. When I give a short response or explanation, he assumes I'm

preaching/pushing health tips on them.)

-Tiffany

August 12, 2006