My Grandfather (WAS: Great article on what is a normal diet!)

[Guest guest]

 

rawfood [ <rawfood >

rawfood ]

On Behalf Of Tiffany

Friday, August 11, 2006 3:12 PM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Great article on what is a " normal " diet! (My

Grandfather)

 

You're right, Melanie, and thanks for your concern!

My grandfather is a very powerful (financial) figure in our family. He knows it,

so he decides

to behave like a control freak. He loves to find things about other family

members to criticize,

except for his 'perfect' son (my father) and my younger cousin, because she got

married and had

kids and I haven't yet. My grandfather makes comparisons of family members to

other family

members, like, " Why can't you be more like so-and-so? " and " You're just like

your Uncle George! "

(the 'black sheep' of the family).

--- snip ---

__________

rawfood [ <rawfood >

rawfood ]

On Behalf Of Tiffany

Friday, August 11, 2006 3:12 PM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Great article on what is a " normal " diet! (My

Grandfather)

 

Hi Tiffany,

 

Wow, what a script! I was reading what you wrote, trying to imagine the tones of

voice, the

inflections, the facial expressions. You sound so very frustrated, and beneath

that I imagine

you must feel considerable pain. I imagine you would like to be accepted,

understood,

appreciated for who you are -- without a husband, children, and a great big

steak dinner.

 

My only suggestion, if you wish even to receive one, is that none of us can

change another. All

we can hope to do is change ourselves, live our own lives to the best of our own

ability. Every

time you resist this man, debate with him, try to " explain " to him, it seems you

only frustrate

and hurt yourself. For myself, I have adopted the idea that I give only to those

who are ready,

willing, and able NOW to receive what I have to give. Perhaps a similar notion

would serve you,

as well?

 

A personal anecdote might be relevant:

 

I was first exposed to RF in 1997 by my friend, Laurie Masters. And Laurie began

working with me

in my little software company (shut down in 1999, couldn't stand it anymore).

Anyway, once

Laurie asked me why I wished to make " all this money " . (We weren't actually

making any, but it

was my expressed intention to do so.)

 

I shall never forget my reply, word for word: " I want to make a lot of money, so

that WHEN I

have MY heart attack, I'll be able to afford the best surgeon with the highest

survivability

rating. " Can you imagine! And no one was about to convince me otherwise. But

within a short

time, I convinced myself otherwise.

 

My point here is only to suggest that each person really is doing the best he or

she can in

every present moment. And that " best " can only arise as a product of what each

person presently

knows, understands, and believes about him/herself, people, Nature, etc. Our

only viable,

self-loving choices are acceptance, self-focus, and love.

 

Just my 2 cents!

Elchanan

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Elchanan,

Well, your suggestions are worth more than two cents! I appreciate you

relating to me. I don't feel anymore pain like I did as a child being treated

unfairly in adult situations and under wrongful assumptions, but the pain in the

past has 'nurtured' my present frustration, like I said because it's important

to me to make sure others know me for who I really am, not for the lies that

people like my Grandfather would say about me to my face and in front of them.

And I can accept being the oddball of the family - I am proud to be who I am

because I intended, so I'm not crying over not being appreciated, nor having a

husband or children because I'm personally not ready yet. And I've never eaten

pork nor steak since I was a child, so I don't remember what taste I'm missing!

I can understand that others need more time to 'convince themselves' of what

I've found that has helped me better my life. Also like you said, we make the

best out of our lives based on the information we've learned, and I'm always

researching and learning how to be better.

However, it's not right that my Grandfather taints others' perceptions of me

by saying that I want to be weird in order to get attention, or to be better

than everyone else in a self-richeous sense. He has turned family members

against each other and even caused 2 divorces within my family before. I don't

have the time to maintain my relationships with others beyond what is normal, so

I fight back as soon as he puts me down in front of an audience.

It's interesting to learn how you caught on to the raw food lifestyle! You

must have learned a lot of info that you still use now while on your software

venture.

I turned semi-vegetarian (still ate eggs, cheese and chicken/turkey breasts

but no other meats or dairy) when I was around 13 and started juicing veggies

and wheatgrass when I was 19, went mostly organic when I was 23, and went

on-and-off of a vegan diet between ages 29 and 31, refusing any kind of

prescription drugs and cleaning out my house of any kind of product that had

chemical ingredients. I'm about to turn 32, and moving steadily towards 100%

raw since January. I finally stumbled across raw food lifestyle info on the

internet while searching for organic co-ops. It upset me that out of all these

years I've been researching better health and longevity on the internet, I found

out about raw only last November!!!

Thanks again for your support,

Tiffany Lohr

 

Elchanan <VLinfo wrote:

 

Hi Tiffany,

Wow, what a script! I was reading what you wrote, trying to imagine the tones of

voice, the inflections, the facial expressions. You sound so very frustrated,

and beneath that I imagine you must feel considerable pain. I imagine you would

like to be accepted, understood, appreciated for who you are -- without a

husband, children, and a great big steak dinner.

My only suggestion, if you wish even to receive one, is that none of us can

change another. All we can hope to do is change ourselves, live our own lives to

the best of our own ability. Every time you resist this man, debate with him,

try to " explain " to him, it seems you only frustrate and hurt yourself. For

myself, I have adopted the idea that I give only to those who are ready,

willing, and able NOW to receive what I have to give. Perhaps a similar notion

would serve you, as well?

A personal anecdote might be relevant:

I was first exposed to RF in 1997 by my friend, Laurie Masters. And Laurie began

working with me in my little software company (shut down in 1999, couldn't stand

it anymore). Anyway, once Laurie asked me why I wished to make " all this money " .

(We weren't actually making any, but it was my expressed intention to do so.)

I shall never forget my reply, word for word: " I want to make a lot of money, so

that WHEN I have MY heart attack, I'll be able to afford the best surgeon with

the highest survivability rating. " Can you imagine! And no one was about to

convince me otherwise. But within a short time, I convinced myself otherwise.

My point here is only to suggest that each person really is doing the best he or

she can in every present moment. And that " best " can only arise as a product of

what each person presently knows, understands, and believes about him/herself,

people, Nature, etc. Our only viable, self-loving choices are acceptance,

self-focus, and love.

Just my 2 cents!

Elchanan