Transitioning: On self-love and self-care (WAS: converting when you have a non raw family)

[Guest guest]

Hi Katya,

 

I can so relate to at least portions of what you write here, for I, too,

have experienced many challenges WRT emotional eating ... and I have no one

else to feed, as you do.

 

I have a few very basic pieces of advice to offer, though they may not be

what you would expect. And in somewhat uncustomary style, I'm even going to

engage a few quotes that have become so well known, one might even consider

them platitudes. I hope you enjoy ...

 

1. " A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. " If you take on

tomorrow's challenge today, you will surely step all over yourself. You will

do much better to experience a long, steady string of smaller successes than

to " go for broke " . At least, I find this to be true for most people. There

are a handful who can " just change " overnight. I was not among them, at

least not WRT my diet.

 

2. " To thine own self be true. " You cannot give what you do not have. If you

continue to sacrifice yourself for the " benefit " of others, they will

receive little or no benefit and you will run yourself into the ground, both

emotionally and physically. To borrow a phrase from Nike, " Just DON'T do

it! "

 

3. " Let your work be your play. " Stop trying so hard to come up with things

they'll like. When they are sufficiently hungry, they will come and eat. Let

them become hungry, else they must learn that decades from now.

 

By now, perhaps you have noticed that I've written not a word about foods,

per se. Why? Because as for so many people, your greatest challenges have

absolutely nothing to do with food; your relationship with food is nothing

more than an extension or reflection of your larger relationship with

yourself. When you genuinely learn to love and respect yourself, that will

show up in the way you eat ... AND in the way your family eats. When you

finally choose to take care of yourself first, you will have MUCH more to

give than you could possibly imagine right now.

 

After all, to " love thy neighbor as thyself, " one must first love oneself.

 

As I began, so shall I conclude. I imagine this response is not at all what

you may have anticipated. And that, in and of itself, reflects the nature of

biology and therefore of health. For if there is one single TRUTH in Nature,

it is that change occurs without end. And where there is change, there are

surprises. If you stop trying so hard, you can begin to allow your sense of

curiosity, that sense of wide-eyed wonderment into which we are all born,

reemerge to the surface and guide your inquiry and your search. Be curious,

relearn gratitude ... REAL gratitude. There is much more I could say, but

I'm writing an email, not a book.

 

Write to discuss more, if you wish. Best,

Elchanan

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

illuminedpixie

Thursday, January 18, 2007 8:55 PM

rawfood

[Raw Food] converting when you have a non raw family

 

 

Heeelp! I'm trying so hard to convert and so far have failed miserably. I

went mostly raw a few years ago and felt more alive than I ever have.

Combined with daily yoga and meditation and cycling for miles every day I

felt wonderful. Then I moved from the Uk to USA and married and had

children and flopped in my health attempts.

 

My husband was on a very typical S.A.D and while i've converted him to

healthier foods, somewhat, over the years, I've also converted to his ways.

I feel stuck in a hole as I know exactly where I want to be going with my

health but it seems all i do is read about it, make endless notes about it

and forever stay in the planning stage. I flip flop back and forth between

healthy eating and junk. I'm feeling worse by the day and am quite rock

bottom. All kinds of ailments and anger oozing out of my ears. The worse I

feel the worse I treat myself. I know joyful living is just round the

corner but I just can't seem to get there. I feel so full of gunk right now

that veg and fruit seem unpalatable but I still have the memory of how

utterly delicious I find my raw meals-sooo much more satisfying in so many

ways.

 

What seems to be holding me back is trying to feed a family and maintain my

own seperate lifestyle. There is no way I can convert my husband to raw, at

least not in the forseeable future and I also have no idea how to even

introduce it in a small way with my two young boys (1 1/2 and 3 1/2). I

started off great with the oldest.

All homemade babyfood (not raw). He was an avid veg eater for a long time

but now has tapered off to literally no veg. I guess the main problem is

lack of time to be creative in my cooking. And the youngest refuses most

veg also but they will both gorge on fruit-not highly desirable but better

than neither I guess.

 

I'm wondering how to get around this. First off, resisting eating the

cooked food that I will have to prepare for my family. And second, finding

what I can eat. I get overwhelmed when I think about the complications of

finding the time to devise new meals. I'm thinking I should start off

really simple but then I get put off by not desiring to munch on a raw

carrot or a bowl of lettuce. i need some delicious incentive to get started

but not so much that I have to think too much. Having 2 young kids makes

concentrating on anything impossible during the day.

 

As i'm feeling so crappy right now, I'm hoping to start a juice fast

tomorrow for a few days (I hope) and then I'm starting a colon cleansing kit

that lasts 3 months. Thought I would try to fast for 7 days at the

beginning of that. After the fast, I want to start raw fooding. anyone got

any suggestions for a good starter book that will entice but not overwhelm?

I have sproutman's 'kitchen garden' but right now it feels a bit extreme and

not too tempting. And I have The Raw Food Bible by Leslie Kenton. But I've

had it a few years and has never really drawn me in. Any recommendations

for Matt Whatsit's book 'Raw Spirit'?

 

So how DO I get started and stop planning? I'm more of an all or nothing

kind of gal than an ease into it gradually over a period of months gal. I

think if I start slowly I will do what I always do and allow junk to slowly

creep back in and then take over.

 

Desperately,

Katya

<http://geo./serv?s=97359714/grpId=5520395/grpspId=1705015482/msgId

=27184/stime=1169250708/nc1=3848443/nc2=4025375/nc3=3>

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Elchanan,

 

Good advice. I realise a lot of this journey has been based around

control. I'm always looking for ways to control my outer experience

to end the unsettled feeling I feel within. Two things that have

held firm in my awareness for many years now is that two important

steps I can take is 1) to meditate daily and 2) to eat a fully raw

vegan diet. Unfortunately it's taken me years to get even close to

where I desire to be and I keep falling off the wagon again and

again and it seems each time I do, I sink lower and have to struggle

harder to get back on.

 

I used to look at my husband and blame him for everything. The past

few months i have come to realise that it's my own reality that I

have to change and no-one else. I just find it difficult to prepare

the cooked foods for my family that I normally eat and a salad for

me. And I guess there is some lingering resentment that I spend over

and hour cooking a big pot of meat for my husband and 5 minutes

making a simple salad for me.

 

I'm only on day 4 of mostly raw and still feel pretty crappy so I

may sound pretty negative right now! I've been pretty blocked up for

about 10 days so am carrying a lot of weight around, physically and

emotionally. (even tho I only weigh about 98 lbs. It feels like 98

lbs of anger today!)I find it really hard to witness my anger and

just let it go. That's probably the main reason why I'm doing this.

 

I feel like meditation or at least a quiet mind carried throughout

the day is the most important thing I can do for inner peace, but

I'm normally so wired and tired that I just can't sit down. SO I

figured I need to examine my diet first so I can clean out the

temple so to speak.

 

I think my reson for saying I'm an all or nothing gal is beacuse I

always feel so hurried to resolve my issues. I don't want the slow

option. I want to feel better NOW! I want to be a better mother/wife

NOW! This is probably why I never complete anything. Books, movies,

art projects, eating plans, meditation, exercise. It's all just a

big plan that never materializes.

 

" After all, to " love thy neighbor as thyself, " one must first love

oneself. "

 

I believe this is true but how do we accomplish it? If we can't even

love ourselves enough to take care of our bodies or commit to a

short daily meditation what are we to do?

 

OK, I'm just all bad vibes today...will check back in when the light

is shining a bit stronger!

 

Katya

[Guest guest]

Hi Katya,

 

Your story depicts my situation by 1000 percent!

The only difference is, that the prayer helps me a lot, instead of

meditation. I am very happy to know that there are other people in the world

struggling with the same problems as me...

 

 

best regards,

paule

 

On 21/01/07, illuminedpixie <katyaifyoucan wrote:

>

> Hi Elchanan,

>

> Good advice. I realise a lot of this journey has been based around

> control. I'm always looking for ways to control my outer experience

> to end the unsettled feeling I feel within. Two things that have

> held firm in my awareness for many years now is that two important

> steps I can take is 1) to meditate daily and 2) to eat a fully raw

> vegan diet. Unfortunately it's taken me years to get even close to

> where I desire to be and I keep falling off the wagon again and

> again and it seems each time I do, I sink lower and have to struggle

> harder to get back on.

>

> I used to look at my husband and blame him for everything. The past

> few months i have come to realise that it's my own reality that I

> have to change and no-one else. I just find it difficult to prepare

> the cooked foods for my family that I normally eat and a salad for

> me. And I guess there is some lingering resentment that I spend over

> and hour cooking a big pot of meat for my husband and 5 minutes

> making a simple salad for me.

>

> I'm only on day 4 of mostly raw and still feel pretty crappy so I

> may sound pretty negative right now! I've been pretty blocked up for

> about 10 days so am carrying a lot of weight around, physically and

> emotionally. (even tho I only weigh about 98 lbs. It feels like 98

> lbs of anger today!)I find it really hard to witness my anger and

> just let it go. That's probably the main reason why I'm doing this.

>

> I feel like meditation or at least a quiet mind carried throughout

> the day is the most important thing I can do for inner peace, but

> I'm normally so wired and tired that I just can't sit down. SO I

> figured I need to examine my diet first so I can clean out the

> temple so to speak.

>

> I think my reson for saying I'm an all or nothing gal is beacuse I

> always feel so hurried to resolve my issues. I don't want the slow

> option. I want to feel better NOW! I want to be a better mother/wife

> NOW! This is probably why I never complete anything. Books, movies,

> art projects, eating plans, meditation, exercise. It's all just a

> big plan that never materializes.

>

> " After all, to " love thy neighbor as thyself, " one must first love

> oneself. "

>

> I believe this is true but how do we accomplish it? If we can't even

> love ourselves enough to take care of our bodies or commit to a

> short daily meditation what are we to do?

>

> OK, I'm just all bad vibes today...will check back in when the light

> is shining a bit stronger!

>

> Katya

>

>

>

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Meditation is something that I struggled with for a long while, until I

discovered that it doesn't necessarily mean that I have to sit

cross-legged on the floor w/twisted arms in perfect posture in total

silence. That's just not my style. For me, I realized that I can " be

in the moment " when doing. I typically am working on one project,

planning a second project, thinking about a third project and listening

to either my daughter or tv/radio all at the same time. Just by slowing

down and focusing on the task at hand, I'm able to " be in the moment "

and can consciously think about how my body feels, what thoughts are in

my head, and connect on a spiritual level w/my self. Just this personal

discovery alone has really made tasks I simply hate doing (washing

dishes) much more enjoyable. Now when I wash dishes I think about the

temperature of the water, how the bubbles dance on the surface, how

shiny the pan looks as the food washes off, how the floor feels on my

feet, my posture as it relates to the height of the cabinet, which hand

I scrub with and which leads during the rinse.....etc. I know that

seems trivial, but for this multi-tasker, that's a huge step....just to

slow down and consciously experience. It's made me much more calm &

patient not only w/myself but w/others as well.

 

 

 

Kendra

 

 

 

________________________________

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf

Of Paule Zaksauskiene

Monday, January 22, 2007 9:30 AM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] Re: Transitioning: On self-love and self-care

(WAS: converting when you have a non raw family)

 

 

 

Hi Katya,

 

Your story depicts my situation by 1000 percent!

The only difference is, that the prayer helps me a lot, instead of

meditation. I am very happy to know that there are other people in the

world

struggling with the same problems as me...

 

best regards,

paule