letting vegetarian raised children experiment with meat

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

share your ideas about this.

Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

coming soon)

[Guest guest]

This is just my opinion of course, and you have to do what is right for your

family. But in my opinion, allowing your young child to " choose " is not

raising them veg, it is raising them omnivorous. As my dad likes to say, " I

am a vegetarian, except when I eat meat. "

 

In my experience, people who have let their kids " taste " meat have found

their kids to become meat eaters in some part. If you take your vegism as a

deeply held value, alongside not being racist, or abusing or hurting people,

it is not " flexible " . I would no more allow my young child to eat meat than

I would condone them hitting another child, or kicking a dog, or using a

racial slur. If you are veg in order to prevent animal suffering, it sends a

mixed message if you do allow your child to eat meat. My friends who have

done that have gone on to be disappointed that their child continues to

choose meat. Young children have a hard time making the direct connection of

a piece of meat on a plate and a suffering animal. Until they are old enough

to make that connection more clear (maybe ten or so) I would not let them

eat meat. In our house, we don't consider a dead animal to be " food. " My

kids are 6, 4, and 2. When my six year old is a bit older, old enough to

have money in her pocket, say, she may be ready to make her own choices.

(But based on my friends' experience, I don't anticipate her choosing non

veg foods.) But at this age, I need to send a clear consistent message that

in this family, we do not think it is alright to torture and kill an animal

just because it tastes good. If my 6 year old decided she no longer wanted

to talk to people with a different skin color because she thinks they're

yucky, I would similarly make it clear that that is not alright. That is not

a " choice " I will allow her to make.

 

Contrast that to candy, or watching tv, or other behaviors I frown on for

health reasons, but are not moral issues. She knows that candy is not really

something we have in our house, but if we're out and someone has vegan

candy, I let her have some, for the very reason of not making it a

" forbidden " food. Or if the school bus driver gives her a lollipop once a

month, fine. Or TV. I do let her watch shows we might not watch at home when

we visit grandparents etc. I make some compromises so as to not be too

controlling. But those compromises cannot hurt others. It is not okay to

abuse others; it is not a choice. But when you are in a society that

normalizes the abuse of others, and you want to make it clear that that is

not alright, I don't think it is wrong to make it an absolute in your house.

I think it is confusing to the child if you do otherwise.

 

If explanations right then and there don't do the trick, you can always just

say no and then talk more about it at home, in private. My daughter has

sometimes been upset that no vegan foods were offered at an event, and it is

an opportunity to talk more about how it is sometimes hard to do the right

thing when so many around you are making different choices. When she was

younger I mostly just used distraction or other foods as necessary. I have a

friend who lets her child choose meat, and then still tries to lecture him

about how it hurts the animals. Talk about cognitive dissonance! A 6 year

old cannot handle that kind of responsibility: " Oh honey, that meat you just

ate came from a sweet sentient animal that suffered and died. " It doesn't

make any sense. I truly believe that if you want a child to be an ethical

vegan, then you have to make that moral choice for them while they are too

young to make it themselves. Otherwise, you are raising a child that is

learning to believe, like the rest of the society, that you can eat meat and

not really be hurting anyone.

 

It comes down to: a four and a half year old is not ready to make their own

choices about a LOT of things. I think it is only because we are often

apologetic for our vegism that we find ourselves rationalizing that it

should be a " choice " , even for a very young child. There are many things

you currently do not give your son any choice about. If you want him to be

an ethical vegetarian, let vegetarianism be one of those things for now. If

you are veg for ethical reason, stand by it as your value system, one that

you do not have to be tentative or apologetic about.

 

Leena

 

 

_____

 

On

Behalf Of haag.rachel

Monday, February 04, 2008 9:58 PM

 

letting vegetarian raised children experiment with

meat

 

 

 

Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

share your ideas about this.

Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

coming soon)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I personally haven't had to deal with this yet, but when it comes time. I

plan to be open and honest with my child about why we became vegetarian. I

will let them do what they want to do when they are old enough, but meat is

never to enter our house. I really hope my kids just trust my opinion

and/or read about it when they get to that age. Thankfully, my kids are

almost one and almost three, so I don't have to deal with this yet. I am

curious to know what others feel is a good age to allow this

experimentation??

 

 

 

Thanks!

 

Stephani

 

 

 

_____

 

On

Behalf Of haag.rachel

Monday, February 04, 2008 6:58 PM

 

letting vegetarian raised children experiment with

meat

 

 

 

Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

share your ideas about this.

Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

coming soon)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Rachel,

 

Is it too controlling if a parent wants to raise their child a Christian

and the kid doesn't want to go to church, but yet the parents insist as

long as they live under their roof? As parents we all have a way that we

want to raise our kids and it's not too controlling to expect them to

live under our rules while they are living at home. Growing up under

parents takes around 18 years out of a 75-80 year lifespan. They have

plenty of years to eat meat if they so choose to do so later in life.

 

At 4.5 (your son's age) he is just too young to make the decision to try

meat. He's only wanting to try it because of peer pressure and seeing

others do it. The goal is to teach him to be a leader, not a follower

and not be pressured by society to conform to what most people do.

 

Jacqueline

[Guest guest]

If they really want to, I would let them. I want my kids to want to be

vegetarian. I think it needs to be their choice. I try to impress upon

them all the very good reasons for not eating meat, but in the end it is

their choice. You don't want your teenagers eating fast food burgers behind

your back.that is not good on so many levels. Of course, age is a factor.

Very little kids can be convinced that they are making choices that the

parents are really making for them.

 

 

 

Barb Deggans

 

 

 

_____

 

On

Behalf Of haag.rachel

Monday, February 04, 2008 9:58 PM

 

letting vegetarian raised children experiment with

meat

 

 

 

Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

share your ideas about this.

Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

coming soon)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Another aspect to consider is that children do try to test the limits. What can

I get away with? If it wasn't eating meat, it would be watching TV or refusing

to get dressed or whatever. When a young child asks to try meat, they don't

realize they're going to get a stomach ache; they want to try something new, and

see if Mom and Dad will let them. If your child asked to drink some of your

beer or try Grandpa's cigarette, would you say yes? Kids actually crave knowing

what the boundaries are, so saying no helps them. It's not something to feel

guilty about.

 

Liz (the other one)

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Rachel,

 

I don't have kids yet, but maybe soon so I've been thinking about that too. I

am a vegetarian, but my husband isn't. I won't purchse or cook meat for him, so

if he wants it, he has to go out and get it.

 

I plan on treating my kids in a similar manner. I'm not going to give them

meat, and I'll discourage meat-eating as best I can, but I'm not going to make a

hard and fast rule against it.

 

Lori

 

" haag.rachel " <haag.rachel wrote:

Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

share your ideas about this.

Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

coming soon)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Rachel,

 

I think what you mentioned about church is too controlling, because that's

what happened to me. I always hated church, but had to endure it til I was out

of my parents' house and on my own. Would I have enjoyed it more if it hadn't

been forced on me? I don't know. But maybe I'd have hated it less if it was

encouraged, rather than forced. Or maybe I wouldn't have gone, and would have

been more open to it as an adult? Who knows?

 

Lori

 

jacqueline wrote:

Rachel,

 

Is it too controlling if a parent wants to raise their child a Christian

and the kid doesn't want to go to church, but yet the parents insist as

long as they live under their roof? As parents we all have a way that we

want to raise our kids and it's not too controlling to expect them to

live under our rules while they are living at home. Growing up under

parents takes around 18 years out of a 75-80 year lifespan. They have

plenty of years to eat meat if they so choose to do so later in life.

 

At 4.5 (your son's age) he is just too young to make the decision to try

meat. He's only wanting to try it because of peer pressure and seeing

others do it. The goal is to teach him to be a leader, not a follower

and not be pressured by society to conform to what most people do.

 

Jacqueline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

 

 

[Guest guest]

My daughter is 3.5 and has never been inclined to eat meat. When we

go to family gatherings I tell her " that has meat in it " and she

says " ewwww, we don't eat meat " . But I have also reinforced with

some books WHY we don't eat meat. We read " Benji Bean Sprout " a few

days ago and I explained again that hamburgers have meat and meat

comes from people killing cows. She gets very sad and upset when she

hears that. We also talked about milk and cheese - and how they have

to take the baby cow away from the mommy cow. She got really sad at

that, too, but still didn't want to give up her milk (something her

dad started). Babysteps....

 

Another book that she likes is Herb the Vegetarian Dragon. I think

that the books and having other kids in her class that are also

vegetarians make her feel inclusive and not so much like an odd child

out.

 

As for letting her experiment with meat - maybe when she's a teenager

I'll allow her to experiment if that's her choice. But my job right

now is to keep her safe and healthy and, for me, that means enforcing

a vegetarian diet. And I still feel incredible guilt for the one

time she did get a bite of meat - a mistake at a restaurant that I

didn't catch right off.

 

Hope that helps a little.

 

Phyllis

[Guest guest]

I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your children to

eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating meat to

cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my opinion. I

think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go to

church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and take part

in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents tried to

force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it doesn't

work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then you

should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we tend to

teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that your

values have become their values and try to be supportive of their choices.

Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest of us

are screwing ours up!!

 

 

 

Barb

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Leena

 

Well said!

 

btw - for all of you with very young children-

 

Our son is 10 and has never had meat or been allowed to try it- until recently.

 

A couple of times lately he has been down because he's been harassed at school

and says " I wish I wasn't vegan sometimes. " or " Maybe I should try meat

sometime " (to be like the teasing kids and to make it stop).

 

I told him he was old enough to choose to buy animal items in the cafeteria if

he really wanted to try it (he has always brought a lunch from home but we keep

a little money in his school acct for fruit etc). His response has always been

an immediate " no that's gross " . so I think he's just kind of thinking out loud

but when I put it into words and he imagines doing it, it repulses him.

 

One time I said something along the lines of " yes you can buy some meat " and

another time it was more like " yes you can buy some dead cow " .

 

same response both times " no way that's gross! "

 

Danita

 

 

>leena <leena

>Feb 4, 2008 10:38 PM

>

>RE: letting vegetarian raised children experiment with

meat

>

>This is just my opinion of course, and you have to do what is right for your

>family. But in my opinion, allowing your young child to " choose " is not

>raising them veg, it is raising them omnivorous. As my dad likes to say, " I

>am a vegetarian, except when I eat meat. "

>

>In my experience, people who have let their kids " taste " meat have found

>their kids to become meat eaters in some part. If you take your vegism as a

>deeply held value, alongside not being racist, or abusing or hurting people,

>it is not " flexible " . I would no more allow my young child to eat meat than

>I would condone them hitting another child, or kicking a dog, or using a

>racial slur. If you are veg in order to prevent animal suffering, it sends a

>mixed message if you do allow your child to eat meat. My friends who have

>done that have gone on to be disappointed that their child continues to

>choose meat. Young children have a hard time making the direct connection of

>a piece of meat on a plate and a suffering animal. Until they are old enough

>to make that connection more clear (maybe ten or so) I would not let them

>eat meat. In our house, we don't consider a dead animal to be " food. " My

>kids are 6, 4, and 2. When my six year old is a bit older, old enough to

>have money in her pocket, say, she may be ready to make her own choices.

>(But based on my friends' experience, I don't anticipate her choosing non

>veg foods.) But at this age, I need to send a clear consistent message that

>in this family, we do not think it is alright to torture and kill an animal

>just because it tastes good. If my 6 year old decided she no longer wanted

>to talk to people with a different skin color because she thinks they're

>yucky, I would similarly make it clear that that is not alright. That is not

>a " choice " I will allow her to make.

>

>Contrast that to candy, or watching tv, or other behaviors I frown on for

>health reasons, but are not moral issues. She knows that candy is not really

>something we have in our house, but if we're out and someone has vegan

>candy, I let her have some, for the very reason of not making it a

> " forbidden " food. Or if the school bus driver gives her a lollipop once a

>month, fine. Or TV. I do let her watch shows we might not watch at home when

>we visit grandparents etc. I make some compromises so as to not be too

>controlling. But those compromises cannot hurt others. It is not okay to

>abuse others; it is not a choice. But when you are in a society that

>normalizes the abuse of others, and you want to make it clear that that is

>not alright, I don't think it is wrong to make it an absolute in your house.

>I think it is confusing to the child if you do otherwise.

>

>If explanations right then and there don't do the trick, you can always just

>say no and then talk more about it at home, in private. My daughter has

>sometimes been upset that no vegan foods were offered at an event, and it is

>an opportunity to talk more about how it is sometimes hard to do the right

>thing when so many around you are making different choices. When she was

>younger I mostly just used distraction or other foods as necessary. I have a

>friend who lets her child choose meat, and then still tries to lecture him

>about how it hurts the animals. Talk about cognitive dissonance! A 6 year

>old cannot handle that kind of responsibility: " Oh honey, that meat you just

>ate came from a sweet sentient animal that suffered and died. " It doesn't

>make any sense. I truly believe that if you want a child to be an ethical

>vegan, then you have to make that moral choice for them while they are too

>young to make it themselves. Otherwise, you are raising a child that is

>learning to believe, like the rest of the society, that you can eat meat and

>not really be hurting anyone.

>

>It comes down to: a four and a half year old is not ready to make their own

>choices about a LOT of things. I think it is only because we are often

>apologetic for our vegism that we find ourselves rationalizing that it

>should be a " choice " , even for a very young child. There are many things

>you currently do not give your son any choice about. If you want him to be

>an ethical vegetarian, let vegetarianism be one of those things for now. If

>you are veg for ethical reason, stand by it as your value system, one that

>you do not have to be tentative or apologetic about.

>

>Leena

>

>

> _____

>

> On

>Behalf Of haag.rachel

>Monday, February 04, 2008 9:58 PM

>

> letting vegetarian raised children experiment with

>meat

>

>

>

>Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

>vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

>interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

>rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

>struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

>share your ideas about this.

>Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

>coming soon)

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think it depends upon the age and maturity of the child. I am

raising my daughter vegetarian for health reasons as well as ethical

considerations, as there seems to be quite a lot of evidence that

meat is not good for a young system. Thus, I would not knowingly let

my daughter try meat until she is able to comprehend fully where it

comes from and how it is produced - I'm guessing that will be when

she's about 7 or 8. We live in the countryside, surrounded by sheep

and cows - so I have a feeling when she realises that meat comes from

animals like those which have been slaughtered, she will naturally

choose to remain veggie. But, when all is said and done, it will be

her choice. I won't force my beliefs on her in this matter any more

than any other. I shall, when the time comes, explain my philosophies

and give her access to the facts. The rest is up to her.

 

Btw, I don't think I've introduced myself to the group yet: Kay, from

Wales, UK, veggie (obviously!), mum to a gorgeous 3 year old girl,

who is home-educated.

 

Kay :-).

 

 

, " haag.rachel " <haag.rachel

wrote:

>

> Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

> vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

> interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

> rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

> struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

> share your ideas about this.

> Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

> coming soon)

>

[Guest guest]

Paige and Danita,

I would agree with what both of you wrote especially. I am doing similar

things with my kids right now while they are all so young (6, 4, 2).

 

It IS appropriate to let an older child choose, and for me the benchmark

most likely will be that when they are old enough to watch/read all the

animal rights/veg media out there, then they are old enough to choose for

themselves. Fundamentally, if you are veg for ethical reasons it is because

you don't think it is okay to pay someone else to torture and kill an animal

so you can eat it. To me it is no different than not allowing my 6 year old

to stomp on a baby bunny or shoot a chipmunk with a beebee gun or kick

someone's dog. None of us would let our children make THOSE choices, but

animals raised for meat endure far worse, just behind closed doors. Eating

meat is just paying someone else to do the abuse for you. If my child is old

enough to see footage from a factory farm, watch a slaughterhouse video, see

undercover movies made in egg laying factories, then they are old enough to

make their own choice.

 

Like some of you wrote, even at 5 or 6, I do let her choose some " unhealthy "

things sometimes - if I were veg purely for health reasons I don't think i

would impose 100% veganism on my kids, because it would be hard to make it

that important to a young child. When she was out with another family they

bought her a slushie or some other gross (but vegan) food and she ate it and

later got a little bit of a stomachache, so now she knows not to eat things

that are unnaturally blue! So I do let her eat candy if her friends are

eating (vegan) candy in small amounts so she doesn't feel deprived. It's

okay to make these small compromises over things that aren't deeply held

moral values. In fact, it can be helpful. Lke in our house, we watch NO

commercial tv, only pbs shows that have been taped, or videos from the

library. But when I was extremely nauseated during each of my pregnancies

and watched a lot of tv for a few weeks, it actually ended up being a great

opportunity to talk to my oldest child about commericials, and to teach her

to be critical of them.

 

And like Paige wrote, we have always talked about the fact that other people

do eat meat and dairy, and that it's not a choice that our family feels is

right, but that we have to respect other people's decision to make a

different choice, even if we think it's wrong. She has expressed sadness

that other people do this, but when she is sad about it, I help her to

accept that sadness and channel it into enthusiasm for a different

lifestyle, and making yummy vegan food, and it also helps to have a mental

list ready of all the people we do know that have made the choice to be

vegan and not hurt animals.

Leena

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hello,

 

I am the proud Mom of an 11 yr old meat-eater and 2.5 yr old vegan. My

husband also eats meat. I became vegan about 6 yrs ago. When I was

pregnant with my youngest my husband and I agreed that he would be

raised vegan until he is old enough to make an informed responsible

decision. I am not sure how " old enough " is but I would be very very

surprised if he decides to eat non-vegan. Anyway, I think " old enough "

depends on the child. Will I be upset if eat decides to eat meat? You

bet! Will I strongly discourage it? Yep! Will I respect his

decision? Yes, but I will not agree with it and will work hard to

change his mind. Old enough in my mind would be middle school or maybe

high school. I would never offer him meat but if he said that he

wanted to try it I would probably start crying and then find out why

etc... I do cook meat for my oldest and husband so if I had to I would

cook it for my youngest too also. It's very hard sometimes...

, " haag.rachel " <haag.rachel

wrote:

>

> Hi everyone, I would really like to hear some opinions on allowing

> vegetarian-raised children to experiment with meat if they are

> interested in tasting it. Being a vegetarian for 25 years I would

> rather my children never ingested it ever, but they are not me. I

> struggle with the question of " What is too controlling? " Please

> share your ideas about this.

> Sincerely, Rachel (mother of 2 vegetarian children with one more

> coming soon)

>

[Guest guest]

I can't believe it! There's actually another veggie atheist in this

world! And I thought I was the only one...

 

Phyllis

 

, " Barb Deggans " <bdeggans

wrote:

>

> I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your

children to

> eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating

meat to

> cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my

opinion. I

> think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go

to

> church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and

take part

> in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents

tried to

> force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it

doesn't

> work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then

you

> should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we

tend to

> teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

> parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that

your

> values have become their values and try to be supportive of their

choices.

> Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest

of us

> are screwing ours up!!

>

>

>

> Barb

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Most of the vegetarians that I have known live in urban areas and are atheist.

 

PC <pc.crochets wrote:

I can't believe it! There's actually another veggie atheist in this

world! And I thought I was the only one...

 

Phyllis

 

, " Barb Deggans " <bdeggans

wrote:

>

> I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your

children to

> eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating

meat to

> cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my

opinion. I

> think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go

to

> church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and

take part

> in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents

tried to

> force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it

doesn't

> work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then

you

> should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we

tend to

> teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

> parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that

your

> values have become their values and try to be supportive of their

choices.

> Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest

of us

> are screwing ours up!!

>

>

>

> Barb

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I was thinking the same thing about the urban vegans I know, Robin.

 

Marla

 

> Most of the vegetarians that I have known live in urban areas and are atheist.

>

> PC <pc.crochets wrote:

> I can't believe it! There's actually another veggie atheist in this

> world! And I thought I was the only one...

>

> Phyllis

>

> , " Barb Deggans " <bdeggans

> wrote:

>>

>> I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your

> children to

>> eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating

> meat to

>> cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my

> opinion. I

>> think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go

> to

>> church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and

> take part

>> in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents

> tried to

>> force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it

> doesn't

>> work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then

> you

>> should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we

> tend to

>> teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

>> parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that

> your

>> values have become their values and try to be supportive of their

> choices.

>> Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest

> of us

>> are screwing ours up!!

>>

>>

>>

>> Barb

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Hi Barb, Thank you for responding. I am also an atheist vegetarian (in a

large family of Italian Catholic meat eaters.) I am the only one of 6 kids who

refused the " Confirmation " The specific scenario I would like your input on is

this: Imagine that you have talked with your 4.5 year old extensively about

what you eat and why yet when all his cousins were eating something he said " I

want to try it. " You remind him right there what it is he is asking to try (a

real chicken) and he still says he wants to try it. Would you then say " Mommy

does not want you to. " ? He never pushed the issue before and never ingested any

meat before this event. I have another family get together this Sat. and am not

quite sure how to prep. I would love more feedback. Rachel

 

 

 

> , " Barb Deggans " <bdeggans

> wrote:

>>

>> I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your

> children to

>> eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating

> meat to

>> cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my

> opinion. I

>> think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go

> to

>> church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and

> take part

>> in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents

> tried to

>> force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it

> doesn't

>> work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then

> you

>> should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we

> tend to

>> teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

>> parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that

> your

>> values have become their values and try to be supportive of their

> choices.

>> Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest

> of us

>> are screwing ours up!!

>>

>>

>>

>> Barb

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Would " That's a chicken. It is an animal. We're vegetarians, and we don't

eat animals " work? It's a simple explanation, and something similar works

for us in the cases where the animal is hidden behind 'beef' or 'pork' or

things like 'ham' or whatever. So far it's worked on the occasion where this

has come up in the past with our 4.5yr old.

 

Missie

 

On Feb 7, 2008 2:17 PM, Rachel Haag <haag.rachel wrote:

 

> Hi Barb, Thank you for responding. I am also an atheist vegetarian (in a

> large family of Italian Catholic meat eaters.) I am the only one of 6 kids

> who refused the " Confirmation " The specific scenario I would like your input

> on is this: Imagine that you have talked with your 4.5 year old

> extensively about what you eat and why yet when all his cousins were eating

> something he said " I want to try it. " You remind him right there what it is

> he is asking to try (a real chicken) and he still says he wants to try it.

> Would you then say " Mommy does not want you to. " ? He never pushed the issue

> before and never ingested any meat before this event. I have another family

> get together this Sat. and am not quite sure how to prep. I would love more

> feedback. Rachel

>

>

> > <%40>, " Barb

> Deggans " <bdeggans

> > wrote:

> >>

> >> I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your

> > children to

> >> eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating

> > meat to

> >> cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my

> > opinion. I

> >> think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go

> > to

> >> church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and

> > take part

> >> in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents

> > tried to

> >> force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it

> > doesn't

> >> work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then

> > you

> >> should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we

> > tend to

> >> teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

> >> parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that

> > your

> >> values have become their values and try to be supportive of their

> > choices.

> >> Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest

> > of us

> >> are screwing ours up!!

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> Barb

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

[Guest guest]

Just curious, as a twist on this topic, if anyone has

any input on what effect having a non-veg spouse has

had on raising veg kids. Did you both agree before

pregnancy? Has the non-veg parent remained supportive

over the years? Does the kid want to try meat more

because he sees it in the house, and because it is

being endorsed by the non-veg parent?

 

 

______________________________\

____

Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

http://www./r/hs

[Guest guest]

I think that an appropriate response to your son's request is: in our family,

we don't eat meat. Eating meat is bad for the animals who get eaten, bad for

people's health and bad for the planet.

 

I agree with the person who said that this sounded more like limit-testing,

than wanting to eat the meat.

 

 

Rachel Haag <haag.rachel wrote:

Hi Barb, Thank you for responding. I am also an atheist vegetarian (in

a large family of Italian Catholic meat eaters.) I am the only one of 6 kids who

refused the " Confirmation " The specific scenario I would like your input on is

this: Imagine that you have talked with your 4.5 year old extensively about what

you eat and why yet when all his cousins were eating something he said " I want

to try it. " You remind him right there what it is he is asking to try (a real

chicken) and he still says he wants to try it. Would you then say " Mommy does

not want you to. " ? He never pushed the issue before and never ingested any meat

before this event. I have another family get together this Sat. and am not quite

sure how to prep. I would love more feedback. Rachel

 

> , " Barb Deggans " <bdeggans

> wrote:

>>

>> I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your

> children to

>> eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating

> meat to

>> cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my

> opinion. I

>> think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go

> to

>> church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and

> take part

>> in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents

> tried to

>> force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it

> doesn't

>> work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then

> you

>> should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we

> tend to

>> teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

>> parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that

> your

>> values have become their values and try to be supportive of their

> choices.

>> Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest

> of us

>> are screwing ours up!!

>>

>>

>>

>> Barb

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Rachel,

I'm curious as to what your son thought of the chicken? Did he just have

one bite or did he eat a whole leg or something?

It seemed that you were concerned about this coming up get together. Do you

think he will ask again?

I've been following the discussion here with great interest because I have a

3 1/2 year old and am not sure what I'll do when she wants to try some.

Hang in there!

Elizabeth

 

On Feb 7, 2008 6:22 PM, robin koloms <rkoloms wrote:

 

> I think that an appropriate response to your son's request is: in our

> family, we don't eat meat. Eating meat is bad for the animals who get eaten,

> bad for people's health and bad for the planet.

>

> I agree with the person who said that this sounded more like

> limit-testing, than wanting to eat the meat.

>

>

>

> Rachel Haag <haag.rachel <haag.rachel%40>> wrote:

> Hi Barb, Thank you for responding. I am also an atheist vegetarian (in a

> large family of Italian Catholic meat eaters.) I am the only one of 6 kids

> who refused the " Confirmation " The specific scenario I would like your input

> on is this: Imagine that you have talked with your 4.5 year old

> extensively about what you eat and why yet when all his cousins were eating

> something he said " I want to try it. " You remind him right there what it is

> he is asking to try (a real chicken) and he still says he wants to try it.

> Would you then say " Mommy does not want you to. " ? He never pushed the issue

> before and never ingested any meat before this event. I have another family

> get together this Sat. and am not quite sure how to prep. I would love more

> feedback. Rachel

>

> > <%40>, " Barb

> Deggans " <bdeggans

> > wrote:

> >>

> >> I think you have to decide for yourself why you don't want your

> > children to

> >> eat meat and pick your battles. I personally don't liken eating

> > meat to

> >> cigarettes or beer or playing in the street, but that is my

> > opinion. I

> >> think this is similar to the religious example. I was forced to go

> > to

> >> church during my entire childhood (and forced to make promises and

> > take part

> >> in rituals I didn't agree with). I am an atheist, but my parents

> > tried to

> >> force me to " believe " . It just didn't work on me, and I think it

> > doesn't

> >> work in general. If vegetarianism is a value system for you, then

> > you

> >> should teach that value to your child. When they are young, we

> > tend to

> >> teach our values with enforcement. That is not controlling, that is

> >> parenting. When they get older, however, you'll have to hope that

> > your

> >> values have become their values and try to be supportive of their

> > choices.

> >> Don't worry.you aren't screwing your kids up any more than the rest

> > of us

> >> are screwing ours up!!

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> Barb

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

[Guest guest]

My husband is not veg, nor does he plan to even try. He was initially

supportive, then began to question and turn negative, and is now supportive

again. I pretty much made the decision. I had purchased the Super Baby Food

book, and decided to start my daughter, now five, as vegetarian. So far both of

my children seem to understand that meat is not for them, although my daughter

may just be saying what she knows I want to hear. She had done this in other

ways. She does complained about the smell of meat. My daughter keeps trying to

get my husband to eat more veggies, and become vegetarian. He has remained

supportive in letting me make the final decision, and not trying to sneak meat

or meat products to them. He does sometimes give them cheese, or ice cream. I

do discourage this, but have not made it a deal-breaker. Lately he has at his

own initiative told our daughter how bad cheese is for her. I think he is

finally starting to get it, after

looking a little more at nutrition on his own. He has actually thanked me for

how well our children eat.

 

Laura Ballinger Morales

 

 

 

 

Shirley <mybluerat

 

Thursday, February 7, 2008 5:47:15 PM

Re: letting vegetarian raised children experiment with

meat

 

Just curious, as a twist on this topic, if anyone has

any input on what effect having a non-veg spouse has

had on raising veg kids. Did you both agree before

pregnancy? Has the non-veg parent remained supportive

over the years? Does the kid want to try meat more

because he sees it in the house, and because it is

being endorsed by the non-veg parent?

 

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

http://www.. com/r/hs

 

 

 

 

______________________________\

____

Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

http://www./r/hs

 

 

[Guest guest]

I am new to this group. My name is Heather and I have 3 children. My

first daughter was a vegetarian until she was five. My husband is

not. when we married, we agreed that as babies I could do what I want

but if they ask to try it we would let them. my younger 2 also tryed

meaet at young ages. my oldest now 14 is upset with me for ever

letting her try it. Even though for years we thought we were

suporting her right to choose she has researched the subject and is

upset that I would allow a child to make this decision. As with

church, school, or or any thing else important a child is not able to

choose what is best for them. My younger daughter 11 and my 14 year

old chose not to eat meat and my son (only 4) does not have a choice.

my husband still doesn't agree, but allows this because of the affect

it had on my girls. If he chooses to try meat when hes 15 and not in

the house then I will probally give him the choice. I don't think he

will fault me for making him wait.

, Laura Ballinger Morales

<lballinger wrote:

>

> My husband is not veg, nor does he plan to even try. He was

initially supportive, then began to question and turn negative, and

is now supportive again. I pretty much made the decision. I had

purchased the Super Baby Food book, and decided to start my daughter,

now five, as vegetarian. So far both of my children seem to

understand that meat is not for them, although my daughter may just

be saying what she knows I want to hear. She had done this in other

ways. She does complained about the smell of meat. My daughter

keeps trying to get my husband to eat more veggies, and become

vegetarian. He has remained supportive in letting me make the final

decision, and not trying to sneak meat or meat products to them. He

does sometimes give them cheese, or ice cream. I do discourage this,

but have not made it a deal-breaker. Lately he has at his own

initiative told our daughter how bad cheese is for her. I think he

is finally starting to get it, after

> looking a little more at nutrition on his own. He has actually

thanked me for how well our children eat.

>

> Laura Ballinger Morales

>

>

>

>

> Shirley <mybluerat

>

> Thursday, February 7, 2008 5:47:15 PM

> Re: letting vegetarian raised children

experiment with meat

>

> Just curious, as a twist on this topic, if anyone has

> any input on what effect having a non-veg spouse has

> had on raising veg kids. Did you both agree before

> pregnancy? Has the non-veg parent remained supportive

> over the years? Does the kid want to try meat more

> because he sees it in the house, and because it is

> being endorsed by the non-veg parent?

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

> http://www.. com/r/hs

>

>

>

>

>

____________________

______________

> Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

> http://www./r/hs

>

>