home a meat free zone?

March 30, 2008

Our house is definitely a meat-free zone. People got used to that quickly and

we haven't had any problems. My home is my sanctuary and I don't want anything

that makes me feel sad/disgusted in it. Your house, your rules.

I always try to have crowd-pleasing foods on hand for guests/family (thing I

know for sure that they like). That way they don;t feel like they are missing

out on anything. Of course, a lot of the foods I eat are looked at with

suspicion, but once they try it they come around and even request certain

things.

Jacqueline Bodnar <jb wrote:

Hello everyone,

I always enjoy this group. I read the posts even though I don't always

have an answer to respond with. Today I'm curious about an issue and am

posting to get some feedback. My husband and I have been ethical

vegetarians for around 12.5 years now. My daughter is 3.5 and my son is

21 months (both vegetarian since birth).

Although it grosses me out and goes against my personal beliefs, we have

always allowed people to bring meat into our home. We don't cook it, but

we allow them to bring take out or something like into our house. It has

never been an issue until now (although I've always been uncomfortable

with it).

Right now my 17 year old niece is visiting for a week from out of state.

She is very much opposed to our vegetarian eating habits and acts (like

most Americans) that she needs meat at every meal. Since being here she

keeps buying things at the store like triple meat pizza rolls, getting

chicken take out, etc.

She keeps eating it in the house in front of my kids. My daughter is

just now at the point where she is starting to understand a little about

vegetarianism, as I do work with her on it and always have. But, she

sees this niece that she loves bringing the food into our home and

eating it in front of them at the kitchen table. She keeps asking if she

can taste it. I am very clear that she cannot and very open and frank as

to why not.

However, I'm feeling this week as though making my home a meat free zone

is the right way to go. Not allowing meat to enter my home makes me feel

the most comfortable and I'm not confusing my kids by saying eating meat

is horrible and then allowing it to happen in our house. I can see that

it has caused some confusion with my daughter this week.

Can anyone share their experiences? Are your homes meat free zones? How

has family handled that? Any issues or suggestions?

Thank you in advance! I look forward to the responses.

Jacqueline

You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total

Access, No Cost.

March 30, 2008

Hi,

This is a long post. Most on this list will tell you I am long

winded. I am also usually very strong in my opinions but I respect

that others are as well. I know that it took me time to develop these

opinions and I hope that my experience can help others. So, here's a

little about my experience with a meat-free zone.

My house is not just meat-free, it is my sanctuary and therefore it

is animal cruelty/exploitation free. Noone brings any food with any

animal derived ingredients into my house. I do not check medicines,

pet foods or toiletries and do not ask anyone to remove their shoes.

I do provide a place for them to put their coats and purses (and

shoes if they wish). I have never had anyone attempt to wear a fur -

I would not allow that to leave their car! The difference between

that and leather to me is it screams disresepect for my beliefs in MY

home and I too have an impressionable and very sensitive little girl.

She would absolutely shut down if fur came into the house.

I've had only two friends object. Both had young children. I told my

best friend of over 30 years that when she came to visit, there would

be no non-vegan food allowed. Her child was two and she was upset I

wouldn't allow dairy yogurt. I told her that I would allow formula

until two years old and then the remainder had to be vegan in the

house. Since we did not plan to stay in the house more than a few

hours, the remainder of her food could stay in a cooler in the car

and I would provide more ice if needed as well as any vegan food her

daughter would eat. She felt I was being unreasonable but since my

daughter was the same age, I had an idea of the needs of a child that

age.

Her response was that whenever we visited her, she went out of her

way to provide a fresh fruit and vegetable tray and certain items for

the grill. She made of point of telling me she did this out of love

for us. I repsonded that we were thankful but I had never asked her

to do that and most importantly she didn't do anything that was

against her beliefs or violate her home in any way.(She does believe

eating fruits and vegetables to be part of a balanced diet.) Her

only real objection came from wanting to feed her child in a

predetermined way in my house rather than us all going down the

street to a park or something. She has not come to my house since

but she lives 2 states away. We always generally met at a park to

camp when they visited and have continued to do that. So, I cannot

tell you if this conversation changed any actions. It did change how

she viewed us. I think she was hurt for a little while but now she is

migrating toward a vege diet so she obviously still loves us all.

I told another friend about this converstaion. She never said

anything outright but acted like she didn't understand. She also has

never asked to come over and has never been to my house even though

we live only about 30 minutes apart. We see her at other functions

and she invites me to her house. She also has children my daughter's

age - in fact the children aer how we met.

I have no problem restricting what others do in my house. I also do

not allow physical punishment of my child, smoking, drugs, sex in

front of my child, the waving about of guns, extreme and consistent

swearing, violent toys, violent shows when daughter is awake (Law and

Order type, even the news), and many other things.

I had two families (my family) and an additional 8 dogs and 3 cats in

my home during Hurricane Katrina. My then 19 year old nephew brought

Doritoes or something. When I asked him about it, he said he didn't

know what was in them. He checked and apologized and took them

outside. Because he was respectful of my wishes and apologetic and

becasue of the stress of the situation, I did not ask him to leave

the yard. DD was inside and therefore not questioning the food. This

was before she knew some people eat animals. I could have told her no

it would ruin her dinner or something. Now she knows that some people

eat animals and I would not disrespect her sensitivities by allowing

someone to eat animals in front of her in her own house or yard. She

gets plenty of this outside our home.

My husband and I both were raised that guests must abide by house

rules. Just because the rules are different does not excuse rude and

inconsiderate behavior. Your house is your sanctuary where you

recharge and teach your children your values. It is your right to

make the rules as you see fit. You do not have to feel guilty about

this.

A new vegan friend of mine recently said that eating meat is socially

accepted violence. I do not allow violence in my home.

Carrol

, Jacqueline Bodnar <jb wrote:

> Although it grosses me out and goes against my personal beliefs, we

have

> always allowed people to bring meat into our home. >

Right now my 17 year old niece is visiting for a week from out of

state.

> > She keeps eating it in the house in front of my kids. My daughter

is

> just now at the point where she is starting to understand a little

about

> vegetarianism, She keeps asking if she

> can taste it. >

> However, I'm feeling this week as though making my home a meat free

zone

> is the right way to go. Not allowing meat to enter my home makes me

feel

> the most comfortable and I'm not confusing my kids by saying eating

meat

> is horrible and then allowing it to happen in our house. I can see

that

> it has caused some confusion with my daughter this week.

>

March 30, 2008

Our home is meat free about 99% of the time. I am vegan, and DS is also

being raised vegan, but DH is still omni. He only buys meat when we are out

for dinner, and then the only time meat is in the house really is when he

brings over leftovers. We hosted Thanksgiving here one time, and I made all

the sides, and my brother brought the turkey - and I was okay with that

because it was more important to me to be with my family at Thanksgiving

than to have an argument and separate family events. About 4 years ago

though, my niece (at the time 20) decided to come visit us on a road trip

with her girlfriends. I asked her to think of meat and dairy products as

cigarettes because she is very sensitive to smoking. I told her to just

replace whatever was in question with cigarettes or chewing tobacco, and she

could answer the question herself. So for example, can we order pizza and

eat it here? would be replace with " can we order cigarettes and smoke them

here? " She thought it was funny at first, but it made it very easy for her

and her friends to know what could be brought into the house. This was

before we had kids, so we didn't have the problem of what she was infuencing

our kids to do. She even apologized once for bringing Doritos and a

snickers bar into the house one night when they were watching movies. She

and her friends ate out a lot while they were with us, but they were

planning to do that anyway. The analogy really helped her to understand how

I feel, and how gross I think meat is, but that I am not going to judge her

any differently for eating meat.

HTH

Susan

On 3/29/08, Jacqueline Bodnar <jb wrote:

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> I always enjoy this group. I read the posts even though I don't always

> have an answer to respond with. Today I'm curious about an issue and am

> posting to get some feedback. My husband and I have been ethical

> vegetarians for around 12.5 years now. My daughter is 3.5 and my son is

> 21 months (both vegetarian since birth).

>

> Although it grosses me out and goes against my personal beliefs, we have

> always allowed people to bring meat into our home. We don't cook it, but

> we allow them to bring take out or something like into our house. It has

> never been an issue until now (although I've always been uncomfortable

> with it).

>

> Right now my 17 year old niece is visiting for a week from out of state.

> She is very much opposed to our vegetarian eating habits and acts (like

> most Americans) that she needs meat at every meal. Since being here she

> keeps buying things at the store like triple meat pizza rolls, getting

> chicken take out, etc.

>

> She keeps eating it in the house in front of my kids. My daughter is

> just now at the point where she is starting to understand a little about

> vegetarianism, as I do work with her on it and always have. But, she

> sees this niece that she loves bringing the food into our home and

> eating it in front of them at the kitchen table. She keeps asking if she

> can taste it. I am very clear that she cannot and very open and frank as

> to why not.

>

> However, I'm feeling this week as though making my home a meat free zone

> is the right way to go. Not allowing meat to enter my home makes me feel

> the most comfortable and I'm not confusing my kids by saying eating meat

> is horrible and then allowing it to happen in our house. I can see that

> it has caused some confusion with my daughter this week.

>

> Can anyone share their experiences? Are your homes meat free zones? How

> has family handled that? Any issues or suggestions?

>

> Thank you in advance! I look forward to the responses.

>

> Jacqueline

>

March 31, 2008

Hi.

In an ideal world everyone would be vegan, but the harsh reality is that

everyone is not.

I feel that it is very important that your kids learn that there are others that

do not eat the way they do.

When they attend school in the future and even if they are home schooled, they

will eventually have to deal with meat eaters.

And I think this should be done respectfully.

This is an issue that I feel strongly about and I am currently trying to convey

to my teenage vegan daughter.

Perhaps your niece's bad habits could be used as an opportunity to educate your

little ones.