OT: Montessori Education/Lorraine/kids' independence

[Guest guest]

I wasn't the one who you were talking to, but I do have one suggestion for

you. Even if your child is an only child, and it's " easier " for you to pick up

after him--please don't! At three, he should be doing ALL the cleaning up

after himself, really--plus simple chores around the house that don't

specifically relate to HIM. He's long past babyhood (even if he IS your " baby "

),

and it doesn't do a child any favors in the long run to do for him what he can

do for himself. I can imagine it's very easy to fall into doing for him at

this point, but even if you never have another child, I urge you to think

about the habits he's acquiring now--they WILL follow him later in life. Believe

me, his wife will thank you a million times over for his good early training!

 

Not to pick on you--really! But as a mom of nine kids, ages 17 mos.-29 years

old, I can tell you from experience the many benefits of training a child

early to care for himself and his environment, and to be part of a " team " (your

family " team " ). Montessori is great for teaching independence, and I feel it

should extend far beyond the classroom. It will definitely boost your child's

self image, and everyone around him will be amazed at how capable he is.

That will be a tremendous source of pride for you!

 

Just an observation. Marilyn

 

 

 

**************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL

Home.

(http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15 & ncid=aolhom00030\

000000001)

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Lorraine--Like I said--not to pick on you, or criticize you in ANY way. I

think maybe sometimes parents honestly don't know what their kids are capable

of, or maybe they don't realize WHY their doing for their kids is not really in

their best interest. Maybe they never thought about it. So I just offered

some food for thought from one who's been there.

 

Take what you need and leave the rest. Marilyn

 

 

 

**************Planning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel Guides.

(http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000016)

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

*Even if your child is an only child, and it's " easier " for you to pick up

after him--please don't! At three, he should be doing ALL the cleaning up

after himself, really--plus simple chores around the house that don't

specifically relate to HIM. He's long past babyhood (even if he IS your

" baby " ),

and it doesn't do a child any favors in the long run to do for him what he

can

do for himself.

*

i think there can be a happy medium between having the kid do absolutely

everything him/herself and " picking up after him/her. " in our family, we do

everything together. above and beyond independence, i want our kids to

learn *interdependence*. so while my son does do plenty of cleaning up on

his own, we find it most enjoyable and also most fostering of important

emotional and intellectual development to do these things together. we've

never forced the issue of independence, feeling that such a thing will arise

naturally in a comforting environment where children are free to express

themselves and develop at their own pace, and indeed, everyone who meets our

children remarks on how capable and self-sufficient they are.

 

chandelle

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Marilyn,

Thanks for the input. Maybe he should pick up after himself more - he

does pick up after himself, just doesn't have the patience to organize

the things into the baskets and bins each evening, so we do that part

(to provide him with an organized environment in the morning, as

recommended in the Montessori books we've read so far). And he does

help with other stuff around the house and loves it. I think he does

what is age appropriate - and what fits with our parenting style and

lifestyle - and our " chosen battles. " :-) Just being who he is each

day is a source of pride for me - but maybe we'll have even more pride

as we keep researching bringing Montessori into the home.

Have a great day,

Lorraine

 

 

On

Behalf Of sahmomof8

Wednesday, April 02, 2008 8:00 AM

 

OT: Montessori Education/Lorraine/kids'

independence

 

I wasn't the one who you were talking to, but I do have one suggestion

for

you. Even if your child is an only child, and it's " easier " for you to

pick up

after him--please don't! At three, he should be doing ALL the cleaning

up

after himself, really--plus simple chores around the house that don't

specifically relate to HIM. He's long past babyhood (even if he IS your

" baby " ),

and it doesn't do a child any favors in the long run to do for him what

he can

do for himself. I can imagine it's very easy to fall into doing for him

at

this point, but even if you never have another child, I urge you to

think

about the habits he's acquiring now--they WILL follow him later in life.

Believe

me, his wife will thank you a million times over for his good early

training!

 

Not to pick on you--really! But as a mom of nine kids, ages 17 mos.-29

years

old, I can tell you from experience the many benefits of training a

child

early to care for himself and his environment, and to be part of a

" team " (your

family " team " ). Montessori is great for teaching independence, and I

feel it

should extend far beyond the classroom. It will definitely boost your

child's

self image, and everyone around him will be amazed at how capable he is.

 

That will be a tremendous source of pride for you!

 

Just an observation. Marilyn

 

**************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on

AOL

Home.

(http://home.

<http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15 & ncid=aol

hom00030000000001>

aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15 & ncid=aolhom0003000000

0001)

 

 

[Guest guest]

LOL! I think ALL our kids, regardless of age, hold out on us! They always

seem to do more away from home, for some reason. But I'd better get my 17

month old on the ball here--she doesn't even put her own toys away yet! Lazy

girl. <grin> Marilyn

 

 

 

**************Planning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel Guides.

(http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000016)

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Chandelle--Oh I NEVER meant to imply that we also never do things as a

" team " , like you said. We definitely DO! I am one who works much better as a

team,

and our whole family is now involved in decluttering, dejunking, organizing,

and packing to relocate soon. We also all work together as a team to tidy

and clean the house--I assign the jobs I feel each person can do, or make a

list and let everyone choose (including dh and myself!),and we all go at it!MUCH

more fun!

 

What I meant was that I won't do things for a child that he is perfectly

capable of--like putting his own clean clothes away, dirty clothes in the

hamper, taking care of the pets, clearing their things off the dinner table when

finished, or making their beds. See the difference? Marilyn

 

 

 

**************Planning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel Guides.

(http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000016)

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

" sometimes parents honestly don't know what their kids are capable "

 

I was feeling that way until I went to DS school one day and saw him doing

all sorts of things that he does not do at home. He was 10 mos at the time,

was scooting around the bookshelves in the classroom, taking the activity

that he wanted to do off the shelf and onto his mat, completing the activity

himself, then returning it to the shelf. I was just amazed. I am not

saying my kid is brilliant, I just would never think any 10 mos old would do

what he was doing - but they all do it. Then one afternoon, he was crawling

around in the kitchen while I was emptying the dishwasher, and decide to

help. He stood there handing me each piece of flatware. I am still just

amazed at what these tiny people can do. Now I just offer him new things to

try to see what he is capable of. Just a few experiences have taught me

quickly that he is way more capable than I thought he was. Now he is 13 mos

and knows that he has to put his toys away - mommy and daddy don't do it for

him, that he has to help put his dishes in the dishwasher, he " brushes " his

teeth, etc... I think the routine and responsibilities help give any child

a feeling of trust and accomplishment, as well makes them feel more a part

of the family when they can help out.

 

Susan

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Marilyn,

No problem, I understood your point and appreciate your input. My point

was just that different kids and different families have different needs

and approaches, and maybe no one plan works for all families. We're

constantly assessing our situation as we choose our lines in the sand,

so to speak, and while we AP raise him with no child care, two working

parents (including an often full-time home business I do at night and on

weekends so I can be with our son all day), and everything else we try

to fit in to balance our lives as much as possible. I actually taught

preschool years ago, and am a social worker with my masters emphasis on

children, youth and families, so I've thought of all this stuff - which

is why our son does do a lot of other things around the house as part of

being a member of the family (until recently, he did more around the

house than his 5- and 14-year-old cousins did at their house). We're

just okay with things as they are for right now, and will expect more

from him in the next couple years. I'm sure we're screwing up (maybe in

this way and probably at least 10 others that we don't know about yet -

ah, parenting), but after our discussions, I started asking him to clean

up more in the last couple days. And we'll reassess more as we all

grow, and as we learn more about Montessori in the home. Thanks again

for your advice!

Have a great day,

Lorraine

 

 

On

Behalf Of sahmomof8

Wednesday, April 02, 2008 4:40 PM

 

Re: OT: Montessori Education/Lorraine/kids'

independence

 

Lorraine--Like I said--not to pick on you, or criticize you in ANY way.

I

think maybe sometimes parents honestly don't know what their kids are

capable

of, or maybe they don't realize WHY their doing for their kids is not

really in

their best interest. Maybe they never thought about it. So I just

offered

some food for thought from one who's been there.

 

Take what you need and leave the rest. Marilyn

 

**************Planning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel

Guides.

(http://travel.

<http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000

016> aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000016)