Birthday parties & other baked good social gatherings

[Guest guest]

I was wondering how other vegan parents handle birthday parties and other

gatherings

where cake and such are involved?

[Guest guest]

I have been doing the birthday party and social gathering thing for a while.

I simply ask what type of food, cake, ice cream will be served since we are

vegan. People are happy to give us a run down. We often bring cupcakes or

muffins. If there is ice cream involved, then we just bring a scoop in a

container and ask to pop in their freezer. My son is 12 now; and if we forget to

bring the cake or whatever to the party, he is fine with that and will wait till

her comes home to have his treat.

Laura

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

For us if we are going to a party:

 

- eat lightly beforehand in case there is nothing we can eat, bring

a flax bar or smoothie in a cooler to curb appetite if needed

 

- for cake, we buy uncle eddies cookies and take so when cake is

done my son can have this as a substitute, he NEVER cares about the cake, he

loves his cookie treat

 

 

 

For us giving a party:

 

- it is all vegan, we make foods that others are willing to try but

don’t have to if not willing

 

- for cake, we are lucky and have follow your heart café (that

makes veganaise etc) right by our house, we order him a vegan cake that our

non vegan friends fall over themselves to eat it is so good- chocolate

vanilla cake covered in dark chocolate or a carrot cake.

 

 

 

Hope this helps

 

Paige

 

 

 

_____

 

On

Behalf Of ad00rable_1

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 8:36 PM

 

[Norton AntiSpam] Birthday parties & other baked good

social gatherings

 

 

 

I was wondering how other vegan parents handle birthday parties and other

gatherings

where cake and such are involved?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

my kids are still pretty young, 3 and 18 months. to this point i have

always found out ahead of time what the treat was going to be and i made

something similar and brought that for my own kids. in fact, my son has

hardly noticed a difference and i've even been able to give him something

pretty different without him knowing it (like a whole-grain low-sugar cookie

versus cream-cheese-iced white-flour high-sugar cupcakes). i always give a

heads-up to the parents that i'll be bringing something different and it's

never been a problem; most parents are actually relieved. i don't make a

big deal about it.

 

now my son is getting older and he is beginning to notice if he gets

something different. he's not quite old enough to understand why; we talk

to him about our diet but we try to be neutral because i can't stand the

propagandizing that i see some parents do with their kids. we don't want

him spouting off something ridiculous to family or friends that we love and

we don't want him to grow up rigid or arrogant in his thinking. so we tell

him that we eat plants and that's our diet; we don't eat animals, but some

other people do and we love them anyway, etc. at parties when he sees that

he's had something different i tell him quietly, " the other stuff has cow's

milk in it and we don't drink milk, remember? except from plants " . he has

never been upset so far but he's clearly struggling with it, so we're

starting to talk to him more about our diet. he's at an awkward in-between

stage right now where he's just beginning to understand but he's not quite

old enough. i suppose i could do the propagandizing and he'd probably have

a firmer idea of it, but i'd rather wait it out so he can understand more

nuance of the issue.

 

i'll continue to bring my own stuff but i haven't had a conniption or

anything if he gets hold of something that isn't quite vegan at a party or

something. i'd definitely draw the line at meat, but every conscious

parent, i think, has a line somewhere and mine happens to be that i

recognize that the more i force an issue the more enticing the thing will

become, so if it's a choice between allowing my kids to eat the damn dairy-

and sugar-filled cupcake over letting them conform in the moment and using

it as an object lesson later, i'm just gonna let them eat the damn cupcake,

you know? we really have to pick our battles when it comes to kids. other

parents are much more strict and i get that. i am extremely strict when it

comes to my in-laws because they're always picking apart our lifestyle

looking for any kind of in-road to feed our kids crap or buy them plastic,

electronic toys or let them watch television all day or any of the myriad

" joys " of which we are so cruelly depriving them. but that's a post for

another day. in general i try to be pretty consistent because i don't want

things to be confusing for my kids, but i do dread the day when someone

melts down because s/he can't have a cupcake.

 

HTH!

 

chandelle

 

On Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 9:35 PM, ad00rable_1 <nkiffer wrote:

 

> I was wondering how other vegan parents handle birthday parties and

> other gatherings

> where cake and such are involved?

>

>

>

 

 

 

--

" if voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal. "

 

~emma goldman

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

My daughter is vegetarian and sugar free, so we just take along a

home made muffin for her to have at the party when the cake is served

and snacks and nibbles as well in case all the food is junky.

x

On 16/07/2008, at 1:35 PM, ad00rable_1 wrote:

 

> I was wondering how other vegan parents handle birthday parties and

> other gatherings

> where cake and such are involved?

>

>

>

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

My 3 yr old son has a milk allergy, which is why we went from vegetarian to

vegan when he was born. That does make it easier with birthday parties and

such, because it’s not just that mommy says he can’t have it, it’s that he

knows he’ll get sick if he eats it. Most of the parties for his age group

are pizza parties, and he knows to wait till we’ve removed the cheese. I

also bake dairy free cupcakes (I’ll cut the recipe in ½ so we don’t have too

many leftovers trying to tempt me to eat them)

 

whenever there is a party or birthday at school/camp. If I don’t have

cupcakes, I’ll bring a small baggie of his favorite cookies so that he gets

a special treat when the other kids are eating their cake/cupcakes. We

usually put his cookies on the same plates as the others so he feels more

like the rest of the group. The camp that he’s at right now, asked me to

give them several muffins/cupcakes that they could freeze so that they would

be prepared for any birthday celebrations. Of course for his birthday, I

bake the dairy free cupcakes and send them in for all the kids. We have to

stay nut free on everything, since peanut allergies are all over the place.

 

HTH, Audrey

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

This is very similar for what we do, too (also for a milk allergy and

going vegan! heh).

 

We have also offered to bring something for the party, I made vegan

lemon squares (my friend's daughter last year wanted lemon squares

instead of a cake, and I found the recipe on the ppk.com and also in

the veganomicon now) No one else knew, but there was also someone else

there who had another child with several food allergies and a

vegetarian all who were happy to have something they could eat! So it

worked out pretty well.

 

We made chocolate chip blondie bars (adapted from the carmel ones in

VWAV) and I added powdered coffee to half (for the grown ups) and they

were well recieved. We also brought seitan ribs (it was a BBQ party)

and vegan potato salad, and there was plenty of grilled veggies. One

of my husband's cousin's children deced to become vegetarian

(announced it I think at Easter?) so we're happy to bring stuff and

she was thrilled and just loved my seitan.

 

I think it's ''easier' socially, with an allergy, because it is a

medical thing, and our son, now 5, knows if it's got milk in it, he'll

feel awful, or it 'makes him think wrong' (his words, for when it

makes him act out/act up when he has something made with/from

milk/derivitives). We've found folks tend to be accepting of our not

letting him have some things, and that we substitute his own special

treats. I think with all the severe allergies that have been on the

rise, kids are more used to it (especially as they get older/take

different classes/go to school/other social gatherings of different

kinds of people). We've never had a problem. We have had a funny look

here or there, but nothing serious. When we don't want to get into

things, we just say he can't have it, but we don't always say why

(sometimes because it's not vegan, sometimes it's dairy, it's just not

a big deal to us to decline, so it's not a big deal to our son, and we

always try to have something for him when there's a birthday.

 

Hope that's not as circular as I think it sounds

 

Missie

 

On Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 7:19 AM, Audrey G. Quick <audrey wrote:

> My 3 yr old son has a milk allergy, which is why we went from vegetarian to

> vegan when he was born. That does make it easier with birthday parties and

> such, because it's not just that mommy says he can't have it, it's that he

> knows he'll get sick if he eats it. Most of the parties for his age group

> are pizza parties, and he knows to wait till we've removed the cheese. I

> also bake dairy free cupcakes (I'll cut the recipe in ½ so we don't have too

> many leftovers trying to tempt me to eat them)

>

> whenever there is a party or birthday at school/camp. If I don't have

> cupcakes, I'll bring a small baggie of his favorite cookies so that he gets

> a special treat when the other kids are eating their cake/cupcakes. We

> usually put his cookies on the same plates as the others so he feels more

> like the rest of the group. The camp that he's at right now, asked me to

> give them several muffins/cupcakes that they could freeze so that they would

> be prepared for any birthday celebrations. Of course for his birthday, I

> bake the dairy free cupcakes and send them in for all the kids. We have to

> stay nut free on everything, since peanut allergies are all over the place.

>

> HTH, Audrey

>

>

[Guest guest]

We aren't totally vegan (yet), but we have had to become really educated

about other areas of nutrition, due to our children's behavioral and

neurological difficulties when consuming certain things. So we needed our kids

(who were

preschoolers at the time) to become educated, and quick, about " artificials "

and chemicals in foods, processed foods and ingredients, etc. This was

essential to their well being, and since we were all going to be buying and

eating

slightly different things, we needed them to understand WHY, and the

benefits of doing that. So my answer might differ greatly from some others here.

Not

to discount their answers, which obviously work for them. Just another

opinion.

 

If I had to do it all over again, this time with veganism/animal cruelty as

the main issue, young as they were, I would probably handle it no

differently. The way I feel is that it is our JOB to educate our kids with OUR

morals,

beliefs, family values, and all the knowledge we feel it's important to give

them--before someone else (media, school, peers, or other people) do the job

for us--THEIR way. As soon as they can understand--teach them what we know to

be true, what we know to be best, on their current level of understanding.

 

If they say things to others that those people disagree with--great! The

other person might learn something. Or we might have an opportunity to teach our

kids how to handle comments from others in the future. Great lessons in

conflict resolution, diplomacy, differences in lifestyles and opinions, and how

to share our knowledge with others! Those people can come to you when that

happens, thinking they'll be complaining about what you've taught your kid (and

how it's so obviously wrong!), and their comments can direct how you answer

them. Knowing the truth will make you calm and confident in your ability to

answer intelligently.

 

Maybe it's easier for me. I have NO friends, relatives, or school personnel

to deal with. My husband is the only one who could disagree with my way of

doing things (and he does, much of the time, darn it! LOL!). But I like to

think that through our kids, others might actually start to THINK about these

things. Seeds might be planted. And our kids will grow stronger in their

beliefs, and surer about what course to take in the future.

 

If we treat our dietary beliefs like deep, dark secrets, what message does

that send? If we water down the message for the comfort of others who don't

share our beliefs, what will that say to those others, and to our kids? And if

we don't share our beliefs with our kids, believing them too young to

understand--we greatly underestimate our kids, and leave the door open for

others to

impart their ways of thinking and believing on our kids--things we probably

can't counteract in the future, no matter how much we talk to them. THAT'S

scary.

 

So my own opinion is--teach them everything you know, on their current level

of understanding, and every year, expand on that knowledge as your child

grows. I just got my proof this week that this way has borne fruit in my own

home--my 10yo son has decided, on his own, to give up meat and dairy! He still

eats eggs and butter. Not sure about cheese. But he decided (maybe, hopefully,

by my example, and things he's heard me talk about) to give up all meat,

fish, and liquid milk. A pretty great decision, I think! Marilyn

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

My son isn't vegan (vego) but i am so i make most things vegan anyway. We

have been having trouble with sugar. So many people offer him lollies and

such. Just the other day there was a mum on the bus who pulled out a bag of

musk stiks and offered them around the whole bus, and i had to say no. I

just wasn't prepared for that kind of thing, but i imagine its going to be

the same with meat etc. with party pies and sausage rolls.

 

Sorry a bit off topic!

 

Ange

 

On Fri, Jul 18, 2008 at 12:48 AM, Missie <mszzzi wrote:

 

> This is very similar for what we do, too (also for a milk allergy and

> going vegan! heh).

>

> We have also offered to bring something for the party, I made vegan

> lemon squares (my friend's daughter last year wanted lemon squares

> instead of a cake, and I found the recipe on the ppk.com and also in

> the veganomicon now) No one else knew, but there was also someone else

> there who had another child with several food allergies and a

> vegetarian all who were happy to have something they could eat! So it

> worked out pretty well.

>

> We made chocolate chip blondie bars (adapted from the carmel ones in

> VWAV) and I added powdered coffee to half (for the grown ups) and they

> were well recieved. We also brought seitan ribs (it was a BBQ party)

> and vegan potato salad, and there was plenty of grilled veggies. One

> of my husband's cousin's children deced to become vegetarian

> (announced it I think at Easter?) so we're happy to bring stuff and

> she was thrilled and just loved my seitan.

>

> I think it's ''easier' socially, with an allergy, because it is a

> medical thing, and our son, now 5, knows if it's got milk in it, he'll

> feel awful, or it 'makes him think wrong' (his words, for when it

> makes him act out/act up when he has something made with/from

> milk/derivitives). We've found folks tend to be accepting of our not

> letting him have some things, and that we substitute his own special

> treats. I think with all the severe allergies that have been on the

> rise, kids are more used to it (especially as they get older/take

> different classes/go to school/other social gatherings of different

> kinds of people). We've never had a problem. We have had a funny look

> here or there, but nothing serious. When we don't want to get into

> things, we just say he can't have it, but we don't always say why

> (sometimes because it's not vegan, sometimes it's dairy, it's just not

> a big deal to us to decline, so it's not a big deal to our son, and we

> always try to have something for him when there's a birthday.

>

> Hope that's not as circular as I think it sounds

>

> Missie

>

>

> On Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 7:19 AM, Audrey G. Quick

<audrey<audrey%40audreygayle.com>>

> wrote:

> > My 3 yr old son has a milk allergy, which is why we went from vegetarian

> to

> > vegan when he was born. That does make it easier with birthday parties

> and

> > such, because it's not just that mommy says he can't have it, it's that

> he

> > knows he'll get sick if he eats it. Most of the parties for his age group

> > are pizza parties, and he knows to wait till we've removed the cheese. I

> > also bake dairy free cupcakes (I'll cut the recipe in ½ so we don't have

> too

> > many leftovers trying to tempt me to eat them)

> >

> > whenever there is a party or birthday at school/camp. If I don't have

> > cupcakes, I'll bring a small baggie of his favorite cookies so that he

> gets

> > a special treat when the other kids are eating their cake/cupcakes. We

> > usually put his cookies on the same plates as the others so he feels more

> > like the rest of the group. The camp that he's at right now, asked me to

> > give them several muffins/cupcakes that they could freeze so that they

> would

> > be prepared for any birthday celebrations. Of course for his birthday, I

> > bake the dairy free cupcakes and send them in for all the kids. We have

> to

> > stay nut free on everything, since peanut allergies are all over the

> place.

> >

> > HTH, Audrey

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Sorry a bit off topic!

 

Ange

 

I don't think it's off topic, Ange. I have dealt with this for years. We

usually just polietly refuse, no explanation given. My kids don't need any

petroleum based artificial colors and flavors in their system, thanks. I used

to carry a bunch of things like all natural lollipops in my bag for times like

that, but now that the boys are older, I don't even do that anymore.

 

As to the food you mentioned, get ready to pack your own safe foods wherever

you go--you will be doing that forever. I just recenly bought a larger

soft-sided cooler than I previously had, so I can carry even MORE food when we

go

on trips, or will be out all day running errands. I can't tell you how

important our cooler (and a backpack also, when needed) has become for us!

Marilyn

 

 

 

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