Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 I have made it very clear that i will no longer eat any more meat for the last several months...but my mother continues to make only dinners that have to do with meats. My father says i'm not allowed to eat anything else, so usually i go hungry or just make myself something late at night. I don't know how to show them that i'm serious, or how to ask them to stop trying to change the fact that i am a vegetarian. Can anyone please give me some advice? Will your parents let you just quietly eat just the non-meat portion of the meal, without making it an " issue " ? My son and I do this when I make a meat meal for the rest of the family (which I still do sometimes). We just won't eat the chicken (or whatever), but we do eat the vegetables and salad I serve along with the meal. And we keep veggie burgers and Amy's brand frozen vegan burritos in the freezer for times when we can't share what the rest of them are having. No one here seems to mind. My husband will make our veggie burgers on the grill before he makes the " other " ones, on the few occasions he makes burgers during the year. He also will make up a batch of vegan pancakes when he makes the " other " ones for the family members who will eat them. Or he just goes ahead and makes the whole batch with non-dairy milk, to avoid the hassle of making two batches. No one can tell the difference in cooking or baking anyway! Maybe this would be an option for your family that wouldn't be too stressful? When adults eat in a less than ideal way, they often get defensive when others eat in a healthier way. They need to justify their own less than ideal eating choices, so they criticize those who choose to eat differently. They refuse to see the benefits of our way of eating, because that would mean they needed to take a hard look at what they're doing, and they don't want to do that. It's a natural response--and a frustrating one for the rest of us! Or they have been so conditioned to believe that their way is the only right way that they just can't shift their thinking, no matter how much " proof " we give them. Have you read the book " Living Among Meat Eaters " ? It might help you to understand what you are going through--and to see you aren't the only one. I know there are a lot of other books out there for vegetarian teens, or for parents whose children want to be vegetarians, explaining the benefits, and telling how to be supportive of someone's different choices, and giving lots of practical advice. Even if your parents don't want to read anything, maybe those books would help YOU to cope. I don't have any of those kinds of books, but someone here should be able to name a few good titles. Can you offer to make dinner for them once or twice a week, to show them that your foods are " normal " ? You might want to make one of your mom's recipes, but adapt it to vegetarian--for instance, use vegetable broth instead of beef or chicken broth in a recipe. No one will notice the difference, but you'll know. I don't know if you are vegan, or ovo-lacto vegetarian. Obviously, being ovo-lacto would be more acceptable, in your parents' eyes, because you would still be eating SOME animal products, and it would be easier for you to find recipes you can share. I am NOT telling you to eat eggs or consume dairy, if you don't want to do that! Just asking about your choices because I wasn't sure what you were doing. You can make cookies or other desserts without eggs or dairy, to show your parents how tasty vegan recipes can be. In the summer, salads are perfectly acceptable meal choices. Load them up with lots of nuts, seeds, fruits, and different veggies, and serve with many different dressings. Or make a lovely, colorful, veggie-filled macaroni or potato salad. Many of us here are living peacefully in " mixed " households. Obviously it's easier for those of us who are adults, and who do most of the cooking for our families. I hope you can make things work out in a way that is acceptable to both your parents and for you! Marilyn **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Unfortunatly, my father is the type who says 'you eat it or you don't eat,' and eating around foods is not an option for me. My mom is a little more understanding and will let me make dinner later at night when my father has gone to bed...Thank you for so many reccomendations! I will try them all. And i am trying to be a vegan, but it's not easy since my parents already think it's dumb that i wont eat meat, and asking my dad to let me cook my own pancakes without animal products in them is just a task that is better left undone if i want to be on his good side. --- On Tue, 8/12/08, sahmomof8 <sahmomof8 wrote: sahmomof8 <sahmomof8 Parents won't honor wishes to be veg Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 9:34 AM I have made it very clear that i will no longer eat any more meat for the last several months...but my mother continues to make only dinners that have to do with meats. My father says i'm not allowed to eat anything else, so usually i go hungry or just make myself something late at night. I don't know how to show them that i'm serious, or how to ask them to stop trying to change the fact that i am a vegetarian. Can anyone please give me some advice? Will your parents let you just quietly eat just the non-meat portion of the meal, without making it an " issue " ? My son and I do this when I make a meat meal for the rest of the family (which I still do sometimes). We just won't eat the chicken (or whatever), but we do eat the vegetables and salad I serve along with the meal. And we keep veggie burgers and Amy's brand frozen vegan burritos in the freezer for times when we can't share what the rest of them are having. No one here seems to mind. My husband will make our veggie burgers on the grill before he makes the " other " ones, on the few occasions he makes burgers during the year. He also will make up a batch of vegan pancakes when he makes the " other " ones for the family members who will eat them. Or he just goes ahead and makes the whole batch with non-dairy milk, to avoid the hassle of making two batches. No one can tell the difference in cooking or baking anyway! Maybe this would be an option for your family that wouldn't be too stressful? When adults eat in a less than ideal way, they often get defensive when others eat in a healthier way. They need to justify their own less than ideal eating choices, so they criticize those who choose to eat differently. They refuse to see the benefits of our way of eating, because that would mean they needed to take a hard look at what they're doing, and they don't want to do that. It's a natural response--and a frustrating one for the rest of us! Or they have been so conditioned to believe that their way is the only right way that they just can't shift their thinking, no matter how much " proof " we give them. Have you read the book " Living Among Meat Eaters " ? It might help you to understand what you are going through--and to see you aren't the only one. I know there are a lot of other books out there for vegetarian teens, or for parents whose children want to be vegetarians, explaining the benefits, and telling how to be supportive of someone's different choices, and giving lots of practical advice. Even if your parents don't want to read anything, maybe those books would help YOU to cope. I don't have any of those kinds of books, but someone here should be able to name a few good titles. Can you offer to make dinner for them once or twice a week, to show them that your foods are " normal " ? You might want to make one of your mom's recipes, but adapt it to vegetarian--for instance, use vegetable broth instead of beef or chicken broth in a recipe. No one will notice the difference, but you'll know. I don't know if you are vegan, or ovo-lacto vegetarian. Obviously, being ovo-lacto would be more acceptable, in your parents' eyes, because you would still be eating SOME animal products, and it would be easier for you to find recipes you can share. I am NOT telling you to eat eggs or consume dairy, if you don't want to do that! Just asking about your choices because I wasn't sure what you were doing. You can make cookies or other desserts without eggs or dairy, to show your parents how tasty vegan recipes can be. In the summer, salads are perfectly acceptable meal choices. Load them up with lots of nuts, seeds, fruits, and different veggies, and serve with many different dressings. Or make a lovely, colorful, veggie-filled macaroni or potato salad. Many of us here are living peacefully in " mixed " households. Obviously it's easier for those of us who are adults, and who do most of the cooking for our families. I hope you can make things work out in a way that is acceptable to both your parents and for you! Marilyn **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 It sounds to me like your father thinks he can maintain his control over you as his child. At a certain point children need to start making their own choices and some parents are just not able to accept that. In that respect you will have a hard time " convincing him " that veg diet is healthy etc. My advice would be to give your mother some ideas for foods you will eat that she can incorporate into the meal so you can eat at dinner time. If possible you could also help prepare dinner to insure that you have options. If you can do this in the least obvious way possible your dad may slowly start to see that you have made a choice weather or not he agrees with it. If you simply eat after he has gone to bed, it's almost like hiding it from him and he will still feel like he is having that control in the matter. Since he may see your choice as a threat to him, take things slowly so he can adjust. It may take a while for him to accept. But if you show quiet persistence in your choices he will have no choice but to accept it. , Atticus Anderson <atticusanderson wrote: > > Unfortunatly, my father is the type who says 'you eat it or you don't eat,' and eating around foods is not an option for me. My mom is a little more understanding and will let me make dinner later at night when my father has gone to bed...Thank you for so many reccomendations! I will try them all. And i am trying to be a vegan, but it's not easy since my parents already think it's dumb that i wont eat meat, and asking my dad to let me cook my own pancakes without animal products in them is just a task that is better left undone if i want to be on his good side. > > **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? > > Read reviews on AOL Autos. > (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review? ncid=aolaut00050000000017 > ) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 As my wife and kids will testify, you have to be patient with us fathers. Sometimes we are the last to get with the program. We mean well, but have a lot of testosterone issues to deal with. :-) It's an easier and more joyful transition to make in the company of others ... friends, extended family members, the various folks in this group, etc. Seeking information and assistance is a sign of maturity. There's a lot to learn about the " whys " and " hows " of living in happy, healthy harmony with your fellow inhabitants of this world. You'll be entitled to an honorary PHD by the time your done. So, be patient with yourself, too, as you begin this journey. It's typically more of an endurance contest than a sprint ... although Scott Jurek and Carl Lewis are both vegan. :-) I think the best argument you can make for yourself is to take good care of your health. I would suggest you focus your self-education first on nutrition (you are taking a daily multi-vitamin with B-12, right?), because no matter how strong your principles, your parents won't (and shouldn't) tolerate poor health. On the other hand, when they see you growing strong in both body and mind, they may become more willing to listen to what you have learned. - Alan , Atticus Anderson <atticusanderson wrote: > > Unfortunatly, my father is the type who says 'you eat it or you don't eat,' and eating around foods is not an option for me. My mom is a little more understanding and will let me make dinner later at night when my father has gone to bed...Thank you for so many reccomendations! I will try them all. And i am trying to be a vegan, but it's not easy since my parents already think it's dumb that i wont eat meat, and asking my dad to let me cook my own pancakes without animal products in them is just a task that is better left undone if i want to be on his good side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 How old are you hun? Atticus Anderson <atticusanderson Tuesday, August 12, 2008 4:12:20 PM Re: Parents won't honor wishes to be veg Unfortunatly, my father is the type who says 'you eat it or you don't eat,' and eating around foods is not an option for me. My mom is a little more understanding and will let me make dinner later at night when my father has gone to bed...Thank you for so many reccomendations! I will try them all. And i am trying to be a vegan, but it's not easy since my parents already think it's dumb that i wont eat meat, and asking my dad to let me cook my own pancakes without animal products in them is just a task that is better left undone if i want to be on his good side. --- On Tue, 8/12/08, sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com <sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com> wrote: sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com <sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com> Parents won't honor wishes to be veg @gro ups.com Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 9:34 AM I have made it very clear that i will no longer eat any more meat for the last several months...but my mother continues to make only dinners that have to do with meats. My father says i'm not allowed to eat anything else, so usually i go hungry or just make myself something late at night. I don't know how to show them that i'm serious, or how to ask them to stop trying to change the fact that i am a vegetarian. Can anyone please give me some advice? Will your parents let you just quietly eat just the non-meat portion of the meal, without making it an " issue " ? My son and I do this when I make a meat meal for the rest of the family (which I still do sometimes). We just won't eat the chicken (or whatever), but we do eat the vegetables and salad I serve along with the meal. And we keep veggie burgers and Amy's brand frozen vegan burritos in the freezer for times when we can't share what the rest of them are having. No one here seems to mind. My husband will make our veggie burgers on the grill before he makes the " other " ones, on the few occasions he makes burgers during the year. He also will make up a batch of vegan pancakes when he makes the " other " ones for the family members who will eat them. Or he just goes ahead and makes the whole batch with non-dairy milk, to avoid the hassle of making two batches. No one can tell the difference in cooking or baking anyway! Maybe this would be an option for your family that wouldn't be too stressful? When adults eat in a less than ideal way, they often get defensive when others eat in a healthier way. They need to justify their own less than ideal eating choices, so they criticize those who choose to eat differently. They refuse to see the benefits of our way of eating, because that would mean they needed to take a hard look at what they're doing, and they don't want to do that. It's a natural response--and a frustrating one for the rest of us! Or they have been so conditioned to believe that their way is the only right way that they just can't shift their thinking, no matter how much " proof " we give them. Have you read the book " Living Among Meat Eaters " ? It might help you to understand what you are going through--and to see you aren't the only one. I know there are a lot of other books out there for vegetarian teens, or for parents whose children want to be vegetarians, explaining the benefits, and telling how to be supportive of someone's different choices, and giving lots of practical advice. Even if your parents don't want to read anything, maybe those books would help YOU to cope. I don't have any of those kinds of books, but someone here should be able to name a few good titles. Can you offer to make dinner for them once or twice a week, to show them that your foods are " normal " ? You might want to make one of your mom's recipes, but adapt it to vegetarian-- for instance, use vegetable broth instead of beef or chicken broth in a recipe. No one will notice the difference, but you'll know. I don't know if you are vegan, or ovo-lacto vegetarian. Obviously, being ovo-lacto would be more acceptable, in your parents' eyes, because you would still be eating SOME animal products, and it would be easier for you to find recipes you can share. I am NOT telling you to eat eggs or consume dairy, if you don't want to do that! Just asking about your choices because I wasn't sure what you were doing. You can make cookies or other desserts without eggs or dairy, to show your parents how tasty vegan recipes can be. In the summer, salads are perfectly acceptable meal choices. Load them up with lots of nuts, seeds, fruits, and different veggies, and serve with many different dressings. Or make a lovely, colorful, veggie-filled macaroni or potato salad. Many of us here are living peacefully in " mixed " households. Obviously it's easier for those of us who are adults, and who do most of the cooking for our families. I hope you can make things work out in a way that is acceptable to both your parents and for you! Marilyn ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos. aol.com/cars- BMW-128-2008/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00050 000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 I'm fifteen --- On Tue, 8/19/08, Lebasi <lebasi.klotko wrote: Lebasi <lebasi.klotko Re: Parents won't honor wishes to be veg Tuesday, August 19, 2008, 1:22 PM How old are you hun? Atticus Anderson <atticusanderson Tuesday, August 12, 2008 4:12:20 PM Re: Parents won't honor wishes to be veg Unfortunatly, my father is the type who says 'you eat it or you don't eat,' and eating around foods is not an option for me. My mom is a little more understanding and will let me make dinner later at night when my father has gone to bed...Thank you for so many reccomendations! I will try them all. And i am trying to be a vegan, but it's not easy since my parents already think it's dumb that i wont eat meat, and asking my dad to let me cook my own pancakes without animal products in them is just a task that is better left undone if i want to be on his good side. --- On Tue, 8/12/08, sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com <sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com> wrote: sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com <sahmomof8 (AT) aol (DOT) com> Parents won't honor wishes to be veg @gro ups.com Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 9:34 AM I have made it very clear that i will no longer eat any more meat for the last several months...but my mother continues to make only dinners that have to do with meats. My father says i'm not allowed to eat anything else, so usually i go hungry or just make myself something late at night. I don't know how to show them that i'm serious, or how to ask them to stop trying to change the fact that i am a vegetarian. Can anyone please give me some advice? Will your parents let you just quietly eat just the non-meat portion of the meal, without making it an " issue " ? My son and I do this when I make a meat meal for the rest of the family (which I still do sometimes). We just won't eat the chicken (or whatever), but we do eat the vegetables and salad I serve along with the meal. And we keep veggie burgers and Amy's brand frozen vegan burritos in the freezer for times when we can't share what the rest of them are having. No one here seems to mind. My husband will make our veggie burgers on the grill before he makes the " other " ones, on the few occasions he makes burgers during the year. He also will make up a batch of vegan pancakes when he makes the " other " ones for the family members who will eat them. Or he just goes ahead and makes the whole batch with non-dairy milk, to avoid the hassle of making two batches. No one can tell the difference in cooking or baking anyway! Maybe this would be an option for your family that wouldn't be too stressful? When adults eat in a less than ideal way, they often get defensive when others eat in a healthier way. They need to justify their own less than ideal eating choices, so they criticize those who choose to eat differently. They refuse to see the benefits of our way of eating, because that would mean they needed to take a hard look at what they're doing, and they don't want to do that. It's a natural response--and a frustrating one for the rest of us! Or they have been so conditioned to believe that their way is the only right way that they just can't shift their thinking, no matter how much " proof " we give them. Have you read the book " Living Among Meat Eaters " ? It might help you to understand what you are going through--and to see you aren't the only one. I know there are a lot of other books out there for vegetarian teens, or for parents whose children want to be vegetarians, explaining the benefits, and telling how to be supportive of someone's different choices, and giving lots of practical advice. Even if your parents don't want to read anything, maybe those books would help YOU to cope. I don't have any of those kinds of books, but someone here should be able to name a few good titles. Can you offer to make dinner for them once or twice a week, to show them that your foods are " normal " ? You might want to make one of your mom's recipes, but adapt it to vegetarian-- for instance, use vegetable broth instead of beef or chicken broth in a recipe. No one will notice the difference, but you'll know. I don't know if you are vegan, or ovo-lacto vegetarian. Obviously, being ovo-lacto would be more acceptable, in your parents' eyes, because you would still be eating SOME animal products, and it would be easier for you to find recipes you can share. I am NOT telling you to eat eggs or consume dairy, if you don't want to do that! Just asking about your choices because I wasn't sure what you were doing. You can make cookies or other desserts without eggs or dairy, to show your parents how tasty vegan recipes can be. In the summer, salads are perfectly acceptable meal choices. Load them up with lots of nuts, seeds, fruits, and different veggies, and serve with many different dressings. Or make a lovely, colorful, veggie-filled macaroni or potato salad. Many of us here are living peacefully in " mixed " households. Obviously it's easier for those of us who are adults, and who do most of the cooking for our families. I hope you can make things work out in a way that is acceptable to both your parents and for you! Marilyn ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos. aol.com/cars- BMW-128-2008/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00050 000000017 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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