Picky child

[Guest guest]

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting

this, but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and

try again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is

just excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She

didnt want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

Hi-

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

 

 

________________________________

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

" "

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I have twin 2 yr olds. I have the same fight with the jackets. I live in MN.

I just let them go through the tantrum but I give them a 5 min. warning

that, " In 5 min. we are going to be leaving and putting on jackets. "

Sometimes giving forewarning helps. When they do put up the fuss. I say, " I

understand that you don't want to put this on but it's too cold not to. See

Mommy has her jacket on " Keep explaining and validating her feelings. Hope

this help.

 

On Fri, Nov 21, 2008 at 2:44 PM, Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabrioletwrote:

 

> My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants

> and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us

> to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is

> hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so

> we can get by with tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is

> keeping us in the house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I

> should be expecting this, but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over

> clothing? Do I give in and try again. Sometimes there are real crocodile

> tears, but other times she is just excersizing her independence. We gave her

> 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt want our outfit, but didnt want anything

> else reasonable either.

> Help!

>

> Cassie

> " life's a garden, dig it! "

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

>

>

 

 

 

--

Sarah

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them --

that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally

forward in whatever way they like. ~ Lao Tzu

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will

they do you if you do not act on upon them? - Buddha

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

We are in Chicago, one of those places that gets REALLY cold.  My spouse and I

believe in " choosing your battles " .  When it comes to cold weather clothing,

unless it is a matter of health and safety (frost bite) we don't fight this

battle.

 

Robin

 

--- On Fri, 11/21/08, Jacqueline Bodnar <jb wrote:

 

Jacqueline Bodnar <jb

RE: Picky child

 

Friday, November 21, 2008, 9:25 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cassie,

 

I can totally relate! I'm also in Florida and the colder weather has me

prompting my kids to dress warmer. My 2.5 year old son was very much

opposed to wearing a light jacket. However, I curbed that pretty quickly

with natural consequences. I let him go to the park with no jacket, but

took it " Just in case. " He ended up wanting it quickly!

 

You might want to try the natural consequences route. Let her wear her

shorts and t-shirt. Once she walks outside she will be very cold. She'll

learn quickly. Take some warmer clothes with you that you can change her

into. Once she feels how cold it is then it will be HER idea to wear

something warmer. She'll feel like she has more control over what she's

wearing. I wouldn't take her somewhere that people may think you are

nuts. But test it out by going to the park or just for a walk around the

block. I think she'll catch on quickly and the struggle will go away.

 

Jacqueline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Those suggestions I just read are both good ones! I was going to mention too

that it's probably a control issue at this age - that mid-year bump in the road

especially at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 can get you by surprise. My daughter had her first

temper tantrum around then and it was a DOOZY and it totally came out of

nowhere. Anyway these kinds of issues could lead to tantrums so I think the

bigger issue is having a plan of action ready in your pocket for the tantrums,

whatever sets them off. 1-2-3 magic has some good suggestions (but I also

disagree with some of their thoughts, so I think it's worth a read but don't use

it as a bible) and some other books too suggest - give the kid some control

(like it sounds like you tried to do offering choices). And then let them go

outside anyway and see how cold it is, or another technique I've employed too,

ok well I don't need to go to the park but I'm offering it to you. If you want

to go, you need to wear this. My daughter is NEVER cold when I am and our house

gets kinda cold in the winter since I'm stingy with the heater, preferring

sweaters and slippers to save energy. So it's always a struggle here too but

what most of what I've read will tell you is, pick your struggles. Things like

this, and eating, the kid is not going to starve themselves or freeze to death

and unless they are incredibly stubborn, or you set it up as a grunge-match they

will choose to eat eventually, or put on a sweater. Control over their own

lives, power over you (getting you into an argument and upsetting you may not

seem like something they'd like but they do tend to feel powerful when they do

it).

 

That said it's constant vigilance against your own motherly instincts to try to

make everyone happy/healthy and let them learn some lessons for themselves, yes

even at 2 1/2.

 

That's my long-winded two cents!

 

good luck!

 

Dee

 

-

" jenni claire garverick " <jennigarverick

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:17:49 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific

Re: Picky child

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi-

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

________________________________

Cassie Dixon < roxy87cabriolet >

" " < >

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Jacqueline. I was hoping that taking her shopping and letting her

pick out some things would make a difference, but this is something I can deal

with.

 

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

On Nov 21, 2008, at 10:25 PM, " Jacqueline Bodnar " <jb

wrote:

 

Cassie,

 

I can totally relate! I'm also in Florida and the colder weather has me

prompting my kids to dress warmer. My 2.5 year old son was very much

opposed to wearing a light jacket. However, I curbed that pretty quickly

with natural consequences. I let him go to the park with no jacket, but

took it " Just in case. " He ended up wanting it quickly!

 

You might want to try the natural consequences route. Let her wear her

shorts and t-shirt. Once she walks outside she will be very cold. She'll

learn quickly. Take some warmer clothes with you that you can change her

into. Once she feels how cold it is then it will be HER idea to wear

something warmer. She'll feel like she has more control over what she's

wearing. I wouldn't take her somewhere that people may think you are

nuts. But test it out by going to the park or just for a walk around the

block. I think she'll catch on quickly and the struggle will go away.

 

Jacqueline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Cassie,

I think this is totally normal for a kid her age. Maybe she doesn't

remember the last time she wore long sleeves and long pants (afterall,

it was half her life ago) :-), so it seems foreign and binding and

constrictive to her. It's like if someone put snow clothes and cooking

mits on you and then asked you to go about your normal day. And it's

totally normal for her to freak out about anything out of her control at

this age. Think of it this way - her asserting her independence with

you now is her practicing for standing up for herself in relationships,

the workplace, the world. She's just learning how to do it. And the

most important issue to her right now is choosing how things go in her

life - and having as little change as possible, without her changing it.

:-) Our son has gone through the same thing, both our nieces did, and I

used to teach preschool - and nearly every kid went through a phase like

this between 2 and 5 years old. You could always tell when the seasons

changed, because the playground would be a lot of kids in t-shirts,

running back to the teachers who all had our arms full of jackets " just

in case. " :-)

 

Oh, and lest you feel that this might be over soon - we live in southern

CA and so have similar temps as you all have, and our son is in a thing

where he'll wear the long sleeves and pants, but won't wear socks, and

wants to still wear his summer sandals everywhere. So, we carry socks

with us, and when his feet are " freezin' cold " , we put on socks. :-)

We'd never get out of the house without a neighbor calling child

protective services on us if we insisted on socks every time we left the

house. His screaming due to socks on his feet would just be ridiculous.

:-)

 

And no, I would never let her cry herself to sleep over anything. There

are studies that show that long-term crying in babies and little kids

(especially that kind of frantic screaming/crying) affect their brain

and central nervous system negatively. I can find links to studies if

you can't find any . . . they've been posted all over a natural families

list I'm on, so I can check archives. Not to mention that that kind of

crying is likely affecting your central nervous system negatively. :-)

or at least not fun. :-)

 

Best of luck!

Lorraine

 

 

On

Behalf Of Cassie Dixon

Friday, November 21, 2008 2:44 PM

 

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants

and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and

begging us to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming,

her voice is hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer clothes on. We

live in Fl, so we can get by with tanks and shorts, but this cold front

of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she

is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this, but, do I let her cry

herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try again. Sometimes

there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just excersizing

her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt want

our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

We left her in her room with the lights off and told her it was time to leave.

She stayed in her room, rolled on the floor, and we " left " (hid around the wall

and opened and shut the door. She continued to fuss and stripped of all her

clothes, including her diaper! We entered the room when we heard her drawers

open. She wanted to wear a tank and shorts

5 minute warning is a good option to have. Right now she is wearing a long

sleeved shirt with a short sleeved shirt on top of it with pants! We spaced out

the timing of putting her clothes on, and that seemed to help a little bit.

The struggle today is the car seat (straps are too tight), but I will let her

fuss on that, as safety doesn't budge.

Thanks,

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

On Nov 22, 2008, at 4:15 AM, " Sarah Bartholme " <sdbartholme wrote:

 

I have twin 2 yr olds. I have the same fight with the jackets. I live in MN.

I just let them go through the tantrum but I give them a 5 min. warning

that, " In 5 min. we are going to be leaving and putting on jackets. "

Sometimes giving forewarning helps. When they do put up the fuss. I say, " I

understand that you don't want to put this on but it's too cold not to. See

Mommy has her jacket on " Keep explaining and validating her feelings. Hope

this help.

 

On Fri, Nov 21, 2008 at 2:44 PM, Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabrioletwrote:

 

> My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants

> and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us

> to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is

> hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so

> we can get by with tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is

> keeping us in the house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I

> should be expecting this, but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over

> clothing? Do I give in and try again. Sometimes there are real crocodile

> tears, but other times she is just excersizing her independence. We gave her

> 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt want our outfit, but didnt want anything

> else reasonable either.

> Help!

>

> Cassie

> " life's a garden, dig it! "

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

>

>

 

--

Sarah

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them --

that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally

forward in whatever way they like. ~ Lao Tzu

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will

they do you if you do not act on upon them? - Buddha

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you for that sensory insite. I hope to do some research on that this

weekend, as we are really frustrated. Stubborn and dramatic are strong in both

my husband's family, and in mine, too. Plus, we both have many cases of mild

eccentics (crazy, for lack of a better word).

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

On Nov 22, 2008, at 12:17 AM, jenni claire garverick <jennigarverick

wrote:

 

Hi-

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

________________________________

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

" "

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

[Guest guest]

Also, the sock thing struck home. She will not wear the socks with treads on

the bottom, with or without shoes. She also pushes the ankle socks down,

bacause they are too high (we just roll our eyes at her)

And, it could help the car seat situation. She hates to wear clothesin the car,

ad they get " crumply " in the car seat. I thought is was being confined that

gave her an issue, but she will sit still at home and read book after book. We

usually warn her that the police man will take her away from us if she spent

wear the buckle.

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

On Nov 22, 2008, at 12:17 AM, jenni claire garverick <jennigarverick

wrote:

 

Hi-

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

________________________________

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

" "

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

[Guest guest]

We have soooo been there. My daughter was about 1.5 and getting

dressed and out the door was always a big battle. I mean screaming

and just beeing impossible to clothe.(arms and legs kicking, and

wiggling).Every time! I tried saying that if she doesn't get dressed,

we can't go out. Which totaly didn't work cause she was happy to keep

playing at home....which in turn made me more upset because i

wanted/needed to go out. She too, would not be happy with the clothes

i let her choose between, or even if i let her pick something out

herselfe. So i figured that it never was really about the clothes,

but that she probably had a hard time adjusting from one situation to

the next.

Now at 2.5 she wants to dress herselfe, we started with shoes, and

with help, showing her whats back and front and so on, she can pretty

much do it herselfe. Maybe your daughter too wouldn't care about

whats put on if she can be apart of doing it?

 

, Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

wrote:

>

> My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into

pants and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching

and begging us to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of

screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer

clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with tanks and shorts,

but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the house to

avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting

this, but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I

give in and try again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but

other times she is just excersizing her independence. We gave her 2

choices, then we chose. She didnt want our outfit, but didnt want

anything else reasonable either.

> Help!

>

> Cassie

> " life's a garden, dig it! "

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Cassie,

The " police will take her away from you " excuse made me think about how

kids get scared of firefighter's gear and won't go to them in a

fire/rescue situation, because they're afraid - until they're taught

about it like at our local fire station open houses each year. I would

worry that saying " the police will take her away from you " might make

her afraid of police and, everything forbid, if she really needed help

from a police officer, she may be too afraid to ask or go to them.

Kids' minds take things so very literally, and generalize quickly - like

some kids generalize all green veggies are yucky, some kids generalize

all socks are uncomfortable, I'd hate her to generalize that all

police/uniformed folks might remove her from the people she loves. That

said, we often say that the police might pull us over and give us a

ticket that costs lots of money, and then we'd be late for wherever

we're going. We've also learned the trick of books on tape and music

cd's where he can pick his own story/song.

Best of luck!!

Lorraine

 

 

On

Behalf Of Cassie Dixon

Saturday, November 22, 2008 9:54 AM

 

Re: Picky child

 

Also, the sock thing struck home. She will not wear the socks with

treads on the bottom, with or without shoes. She also pushes the ankle

socks down, bacause they are too high (we just roll our eyes at her)

And, it could help the car seat situation. She hates to wear clothesin

the car, ad they get " crumply " in the car seat. I thought is was being

confined that gave her an issue, but she will sit still at home and read

book after book. We usually warn her that the police man will take her

away from us if she spent wear the buckle.

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

On Nov 22, 2008, at 12:17 AM, jenni claire garverick <jennigarverick@

<jennigarverick%40> > wrote:

 

Hi-

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know-

both are suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory

issue. The child I know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too

long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone

else. He also has a fit if his socks aren't put on just right so they'll

fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he can't stand to have his hair

brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater known to

spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do

with all of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter

or not, just thought I'd mention it.

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess

whe I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work

off of the natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't

put more clothes on because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've

tried that. Dare I suggest you let her go outside in her shorts and when

her little lips start turning blue (like they do in the pool! Why do

kids let themselves get so cold in the water???), she can either come

inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm trying to say is you

might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she put on the

pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell you

if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going

on that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

________________________________

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet@

<roxy87cabriolet%40> >

" @gro <%40> ups.com "

<@gro <%40> ups.com>

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants

and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and

begging us to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming,

her voice is hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer clothes on. We

live in Fl, so we can get by with tanks and shorts, but this cold front

of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she

is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this, but, do I let her cry

herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try again. Sometimes

there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just excersizing

her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt want

our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

[Guest guest]

I think the idea to let her wear her shorts/short sleeves OVER (or under, for

that matter) her long stuff is a great idea. And if she'll go for that, it may

point away from sensory issues.  She may look a little weird, but who cares?

Once she starts wanting to pick out her own clothes, she'll leave the house

mismatched, etc. anyway. My two year old leaves the house with her slip-on shoes

on the wrong feet all the time. Everyone always comments on it, and I make a big

deal about how she 'did it HERSELF' and I think they get the idea to back off.

Also, I agree with the below that perhaps she isn't that cold. My 5 year old

would wear shorts/tshirts 365 days a year if she could.  Much of the time I let

her do it (+sweatshirt) and figure under MOST circumstances she won't lose any

digits and it'll all work out fine. Again, people make comments, but my husband

DOES wear shorts 365 ( no, literally. Even when it's 35), so I think perhaps

it's genetic. Also, if

all of us here in this group cared what other people thought, we probably

wouldn't be here in the first place, would we???!!!

At any rate, when I go through this kind of parenting stuff I try to remind

myself that it seems like a big deal now, but in 20 years I will either not

remember it at all, or laugh about it.

If you still plan to check out the sensory issues, SID (sensory integration

disorder) might be a good place to start.

 

 

 

 

________________________________

" diannalu " <diannalu

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008 10:47:35 AM

Re: Picky child

 

 

Those suggestions I just read are both good ones! I was going to mention too

that it's probably a control issue at this age - that mid-year bump in the road

especially at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 can get you by surprise. My daughter had her first

temper tantrum around then and it was a DOOZY and it totally came out of

nowhere. Anyway these kinds of issues could lead to tantrums so I think the

bigger issue is having a plan of action ready in your pocket for the tantrums,

whatever sets them off. 1-2-3 magic has some good suggestions (but I also

disagree with some of their thoughts, so I think it's worth a read but don't use

it as a bible) and some other books too suggest - give the kid some control

(like it sounds like you tried to do offering choices). And then let them go

outside anyway and see how cold it is, or another technique I've employed too,

ok well I don't need to go to the park but I'm offering it to you. If you want

to go, you need to wear this. My

daughter is NEVER cold when I am and our house gets kinda cold in the winter

since I'm stingy with the heater, preferring sweaters and slippers to save

energy. So it's always a struggle here too but what most of what I've read will

tell you is, pick your struggles. Things like this, and eating, the kid is not

going to starve themselves or freeze to death and unless they are incredibly

stubborn, or you set it up as a grunge-match they will choose to eat eventually,

or put on a sweater. Control over their own lives, power over you (getting you

into an argument and upsetting you may not seem like something they'd like but

they do tend to feel powerful when they do it).

 

That said it's constant vigilance against your own motherly instincts to try to

make everyone happy/healthy and let them learn some lessons for themselves, yes

even at 2 1/2.

 

That's my long-winded two cents!

 

good luck!

 

Dee

 

-

" jenni claire garverick " <jennigarverick@ >

@gro ups.com

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:17:49 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific

Re: Picky child

 

Hi-

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

____________ _________ _________ __

Cassie Dixon < roxy87cabriolet@ >

" @gro ups.com " < @gro ups.com >

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Cassie,

Just wanted to let you kow that i have exactly the same problem with

my daughter. She is five now, but from the age of three she absolutely

refused to wear certain pants that cover her legs and long sleeve tops

that cover her arms. For a long time we just thought she was being

silly, but when she was 4 she got diagnosed as being on the autism

spectrum. Apparantly, many kids on the autism spectrum have sensory

issues, and it turns out that when we covered her arms and legs it was

actually unbearably itchy for her. I hear from some parents with kids

with sensory issues that it can even feel like small pin-pricks to

them. As you can imagine, this has completely changed the type of

clothes we buy our daughter, as some fabrics seem absolutly unbearable

to her, whilst others seem fine. We buy her nighties instead of pj's

and she is allowed to wear short sleeve shirts for her school uniform.

As you can imagine, to some people who do not know about our daughters

problems, it can look like our daughter is being a total brat when she

starts crying that something is itching or hurting her, but its the

sensory issues causing the problems. I mean obviously i'm not saying

your daughter is autistic or anything, but i would really recommend

you looking into sensory issues.

Hugs

Krissie

 

, Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

wrote:

>

> Also, the sock thing struck home. She will not wear the socks with

treads on the bottom, with or without shoes. She also pushes the

ankle socks down, bacause they are too high (we just roll our eyes at

her)

> And, it could help the car seat situation. She hates to wear

clothesin the car, ad they get " crumply " in the car seat. I thought

is was being confined that gave her an issue, but she will sit still

at home and read book after book. We usually warn her that the police

man will take her away from us if she spent wear the buckle.

>

> Cassie

> " life's a garden, dig it! "

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

> On Nov 22, 2008, at 12:17 AM, jenni claire garverick

<jennigarverick wrote:

>

> Hi-

> Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I

know- both are suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of

sensory issue. The child I know the best has an issue with clothes,

too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff that wouldn't seem 'scratchy'

to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks aren't put on just

right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he can't stand

to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is

generally, needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff

having to do with all of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits

your daughter or not, just thought I'd mention it.

> This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I

guess whe I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try

to work off of the natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if

you don't put more clothes on because you'll get cold " . But I'm

guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you let her go outside in

her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue (like they do

in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the water???),

she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can-

will she put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to

do? That might tell you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs.

'There's something going on that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

>

> ________________________________

> Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

> " "

> Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

> Picky child

>

> My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into

pants and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching

and begging us to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of

screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer

clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with tanks and shorts, but

this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the house to avoid

meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this, but,

do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she

is just excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we

chose. She didnt want our outfit, but didnt want anything else

reasonable either.

> Help!

>

> Cassie

> " life's a garden, dig it! "

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

>

[Guest guest]

Robin,

I do think it is a case of health, as we seem to catch more things when our

defenses are trying to keep us warm instead of fighting off germs.  We both have

head congestion and snored logs all night! LOL

Cassie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--- On Sat, 11/22/08, robin koloms <rkoloms wrote:

robin koloms <rkoloms

RE: Picky child

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 10:35 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are in Chicago, one of those places that gets REALLY cold.  My spouse and I

believe in " choosing your battles " .  When it comes to cold weather clothing,

unless it is a matter of health and safety (frost bite) we don't fight this

battle.

 

 

 

Robin

 

 

 

--- On Fri, 11/21/08, Jacqueline Bodnar <jb@jacquelinebodnar .com> wrote:

 

 

 

Jacqueline Bodnar <jb@jacquelinebodnar .com>

 

RE: Picky child

 

@gro ups.com

 

Friday, November 21, 2008, 9:25 PM

 

 

 

Cassie,

 

 

 

I can totally relate! I'm also in Florida and the colder weather has me

 

prompting my kids to dress warmer. My 2.5 year old son was very much

 

opposed to wearing a light jacket. However, I curbed that pretty quickly

 

with natural consequences. I let him go to the park with no jacket, but

 

took it " Just in case. " He ended up wanting it quickly!

 

 

 

You might want to try the natural consequences route. Let her wear her

 

shorts and t-shirt. Once she walks outside she will be very cold. She'll

 

learn quickly. Take some warmer clothes with you that you can change her

 

into. Once she feels how cold it is then it will be HER idea to wear

 

something warmer. She'll feel like she has more control over what she's

 

wearing. I wouldn't take her somewhere that people may think you are

 

nuts. But test it out by going to the park or just for a walk around the

 

block. I think she'll catch on quickly and the struggle will go away.

 

 

 

Jacqueline

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I can see many control issues, and I feel like I give the choices, and I even

allow her to choose clothes at the store to wear, as she will like something one

day and then despise the item for the next 2 weeks.  To me that shows she is

just being 2, but if I allow that to happen, am I reinforcing the negative

behavior?  I constantly second guess myself: if I ignore it, will she continue

for the negative attention, if I ignore it, am I allowing her to do something I

do not agree with, if I battle it, am I turning her off of it (like sitting

still and keeping hands off the potty or putting on warm clothes) ?  As a

teacher, I have many theories to choose from, but I can see flaws in all of

them.  I guess my main concern at this point is to keep her warm.  My 2nd

concern is to make sure she is well behaved.  My mother was on top of my sister

and I all the time!  She commented and fixed every little thing we did.  But, we

were her world, and now at 55

and recently divorced, she still tries to govern our mistakes as she would have

when we were 8.  I can see where she went wrong, but I am trying to find a happy

medium, as she was the type of parent that can work for some kids.  I was too

lazy to rebel from her tight leash.

Thanks for the thinking points.

Cassie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--- On Sat, 11/22/08, diannalu <diannalu wrote:

diannalu <diannalu

Re: Picky child

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 11:47 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those suggestions I just read are both good ones! I was going to

mention too that it's probably a control issue at this age - that mid-year bump

in the road especially at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 can get you by surprise. My daughter

had her first temper tantrum around then and it was a DOOZY and it totally came

out of nowhere. Anyway these kinds of issues could lead to tantrums so I think

the bigger issue is having a plan of action ready in your pocket for the

tantrums, whatever sets them off. 1-2-3 magic has some good suggestions (but I

also disagree with some of their thoughts, so I think it's worth a read but

don't use it as a bible) and some other books too suggest - give the kid some

control (like it sounds like you tried to do offering choices). And then let

them go outside anyway and see how cold it is, or another technique I've

employed too, ok well I don't need to go to the park but I'm offering it to you.

If you want to go, you need to wear

this. My daughter is NEVER cold when I am and our house gets kinda cold in the

winter since I'm stingy with the heater, preferring sweaters and slippers to

save energy. So it's always a struggle here too but what most of what I've read

will tell you is, pick your struggles. Things like this, and eating, the kid is

not going to starve themselves or freeze to death and unless they are incredibly

stubborn, or you set it up as a grunge-match they will choose to eat eventually,

or put on a sweater. Control over their own lives, power over you (getting you

into an argument and upsetting you may not seem like something they'd like but

they do tend to feel powerful when they do it).

 

 

 

That said it's constant vigilance against your own motherly instincts to try to

make everyone happy/healthy and let them learn some lessons for themselves, yes

even at 2 1/2.

 

 

 

That's my long-winded two cents!

 

 

 

good luck!

 

 

 

Dee

 

 

 

-

 

" jenni claire garverick " <jennigarverick@ >

 

@gro ups.com

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:17:49 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific

 

Re: Picky child

 

 

 

Hi-

 

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

 

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ __

 

Cassie Dixon < roxy87cabriolet@ >

 

" @gro ups.com " < @gro ups.com >

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

 

Picky child

 

 

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

 

Help!

 

 

 

Cassie

 

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

We have always believed that if we are honest with our child, she will be honest

with us.  We have never made a threat or promise that we could not keep.  What

worked for us was: if you don't xyz, then your blanket will go in the closet. 

20 minutes of " bankey-bay " in the closest was a definite motivator for better

behavior.

 

Robin

 

--- On Sat, 11/22/08, Lorraine <ldemi wrote:

 

Lorraine <ldemi

RE: Picky child

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 4:52 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Cassie,

The " police will take her away from you " excuse made me think about how

kids get scared of firefighter' s gear and won't go to them in a

fire/rescue situation, because they're afraid - until they're taught

about it like at our local fire station open houses each year. I would

worry that saying " the police will take her away from you " might make

her afraid of police and, everything forbid, if she really needed help

from a police officer, she may be too afraid to ask or go to them.

Kids' minds take things so very literally, and generalize quickly - like

some kids generalize all green veggies are yucky, some kids generalize

all socks are uncomfortable, I'd hate her to generalize that all

police/uniformed folks might remove her from the people she loves. That

said, we often say that the police might pull us over and give us a

ticket that costs lots of money, and then we'd be late for wherever

we're going. We've also learned the trick of books on tape and music

cd's where he can pick his own story/song.

Best of luck!!

Lorraine

 

 

@gro ups.com [@gro ups.com] On

Behalf Of Cassie Dixon

Saturday, November 22, 2008 9:54 AM

@gro ups.com

Re: Picky child

 

Also, the sock thing struck home. She will not wear the socks with

treads on the bottom, with or without shoes. She also pushes the ankle

socks down, bacause they are too high (we just roll our eyes at her)

And, it could help the car seat situation. She hates to wear clothesin

the car, ad they get " crumply " in the car seat. I thought is was being

confined that gave her an issue, but she will sit still at home and read

book after book. We usually warn her that the police man will take her

away from us if she spent wear the buckle.

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

On Nov 22, 2008, at 12:17 AM, jenni claire garverick <jennigarverick@

<jennigarver ick%40. com> > wrote:

 

Hi-

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know-

both are suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory

issue. The child I know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too

long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone

else. He also has a fit if his socks aren't put on just right so they'll

fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he can't stand to have his hair

brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater known to

spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do

with all of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter

or not, just thought I'd mention it.

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess

whe I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work

off of the natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't

put more clothes on because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've

tried that. Dare I suggest you let her go outside in her shorts and when

her little lips start turning blue (like they do in the pool! Why do

kids let themselves get so cold in the water???), she can either come

inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm trying to say is you

might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she put on the

pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell you

if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going

on that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

____________ _________ _________ __

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet@

<roxy87cabri olet%40. com> >

" @ gro <% 40. com> ups.com "

<@ gro <% 40. com> ups.com>

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants

and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and

begging us to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming,

her voice is hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer clothes on. We

live in Fl, so we can get by with tanks and shorts, but this cold front

of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she

is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this, but, do I let her cry

herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try again. Sometimes

there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just excersizing

her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt want

our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

[Guest guest]

this may be oversimplifying, but my kids always fought me at this age too. and

even today. they just can't imagine that they will be cold. why would they when

they are warm right now? many times i would (and still do at times) walk out

with the jacket, mittens, hat and everything to the cold weather and dress them

there. sure i already have a hundred other things to carry, and many people are

giving me looks like i'm totally crazy, but they get it. ohhhh, right mom, i am

cold. thanks for the jacket. unbelievable sometimes, but it's true. they just

are stubborn, and only trust what they see or feel for themselves.

 

hope this helps. good luck... this is when i miss summer the most. nothing to

put on...

janeen

 

 

 

 

________________________________

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

 

Sunday, November 23, 2008 8:16:06 AM

Re: Picky child

 

 

I can see many control issues, and I feel like I give the choices, and I even

allow her to choose clothes at the store to wear, as she will like something one

day and then despise the item for the next 2 weeks.  To me that shows she is

just being 2, but if I allow that to happen, am I reinforcing the negative

behavior?  I constantly second guess myself: if I ignore it, will she continue

for the negative attention, if I ignore it, am I allowing her to do something I

do not agree with, if I battle it, am I turning her off of it (like sitting

still and keeping hands off the potty or putting on warm clothes) ?  As a

teacher, I have many theories to choose from, but I can see flaws in all of

them.  I guess my main concern at this point is to keep her warm.  My 2nd

concern is to make sure she is well behaved.  My mother was on top of my sister

and I all the time!  She commented and fixed every little thing we did.  But, we

were her world, and now at 55

and recently divorced, she still tries to govern our mistakes as she would have

when we were 8.  I can see where she went wrong, but I am trying to find a happy

medium, as she was the type of parent that can work for some kids.  I was too

lazy to rebel from her tight leash.

Thanks for the thinking points.

Cassie

 

--- On Sat, 11/22/08, diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net <diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net> wrote:

diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net <diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net>

Re: Picky child

@gro ups.com

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 11:47 AM

 

Those suggestions I just read are both good ones! I was going to mention too

that it's probably a control issue at this age - that mid-year bump in the road

especially at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 can get you by surprise. My daughter had her first

temper tantrum around then and it was a DOOZY and it totally came out of

nowhere. Anyway these kinds of issues could lead to tantrums so I think the

bigger issue is having a plan of action ready in your pocket for the tantrums,

whatever sets them off. 1-2-3 magic has some good suggestions (but I also

disagree with some of their thoughts, so I think it's worth a read but don't use

it as a bible) and some other books too suggest - give the kid some control

(like it sounds like you tried to do offering choices). And then let them go

outside anyway and see how cold it is, or another technique I've employed too,

ok well I don't need to go to the park but I'm offering it to you. If you want

to go, you need to wear

this. My daughter is NEVER cold when I am and our house gets kinda cold in the

winter since I'm stingy with the heater, preferring sweaters and slippers to

save energy. So it's always a struggle here too but what most of what I've read

will tell you is, pick your struggles. Things like this, and eating, the kid is

not going to starve themselves or freeze to death and unless they are incredibly

stubborn, or you set it up as a grunge-match they will choose to eat eventually,

or put on a sweater. Control over their own lives, power over you (getting you

into an argument and upsetting you may not seem like something they'd like but

they do tend to feel powerful when they do it).

 

That said it's constant vigilance against your own motherly instincts to try to

make everyone happy/healthy and let them learn some lessons for themselves, yes

even at 2 1/2.

 

That's my long-winded two cents!

 

good luck!

 

Dee

 

-

 

" jenni claire garverick " <jennigarverick@ >

 

@gro ups.com

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:17:49 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific

 

Re: Picky child

 

Hi-

 

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

 

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

____________ _________ _________ __

 

Cassie Dixon < roxy87cabriolet@ >

 

" @gro ups.com " < @gro ups.com >

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

 

Picky child

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

 

Help!

 

Cassie

 

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

[Guest guest]

Well my first thought was a highly sensitive child. You might want to

read a little about them to understand you daughter and find posible

solutions to problems.

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm

I know from experience that the more you fight it and try to controle

the more resistance you will experience. So try to let go a little,

she is only 2, you will have plenty of years to teach " maners " it

will come along the way dont worry :-)

Some good books are: Pam Leo; Connection parenting and Naomi Aldort;

Raising our children, raising ourself.

http://www.childrenlights.com/Products/PTYH_homestudy_course.htm

 

Kristine

 

 

, Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

wrote:

>

> I can see many control issues, and I feel like I give the choices,

and I even allow her to choose clothes at the store to wear, as she

will like something one day and then despise the item for the next 2

weeks.  To me that shows she is just being 2, but if I allow that to

happen, am I reinforcing the negative behavior?  I constantly second

guess myself: if I ignore it, will she continue for the negative

attention, if I ignore it, am I allowing her to do something I do not

agree with, if I battle it, am I turning her off of it (like sitting

still and keeping hands off the potty or putting on warm clothes) ? 

As a teacher, I have many theories to choose from, but I can see

flaws in all of them.  I guess my main concern at this point is to

keep her warm.  My 2nd concern is to make sure she is well behaved. 

My mother was on top of my sister and I all the time!  She commented

and fixed every little thing we did.  But, we were her world, and now

at 55

> and recently divorced, she still tries to govern our mistakes as

she would have when we were 8.  I can see where she went wrong, but I

am trying to find a happy medium, as she was the type of parent that

can work for some kids.  I was too lazy to rebel from her tight leash.

> Thanks for the thinking points.

> Cassie

[Guest guest]

OK, take this for what it's worth, because I'm a native Chicagoan: 50 degrees

for a SHORT time will not cause hypothermia. My solution would be to use

natural consequences. Let her go outside dressed the way she wants (hide the

warmer layers in your bag). After a few minutes, she'll (probably!) figure it

out. Obviously, you'll have to be with her the whole time and monitor the

situation so that she doesn't get dangerously cold. It's worth a try.

 

 

Our elementary school has a large, easily readable outdoor thermometer with a

strip of colors running up it. Representatives from each classroom check the

temperature every day. If it's a " blue " day they have to wear coats, hats or

hoods, and gloves or mittens to go outside for recess. If it's a " purple " day,

they have to wear snow pants and boots as well. Maybe you could set up your own

outdoor thermometer just outside a window and teach her how to " read " it (using

colors for ranges). Then she can take ownership over determining what to wear.

 

Liz

 

 

 

________________________________

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet

" "

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

Picky child

 

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting

this, but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and

try again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is

just excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She

didnt want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

Help!

 

Cassie

 

 

[Guest guest]

We do this with jackets and socks and shoes.  Those things are put on while we

are outside of the car at our destination.  Socks and shoes never make it

through the car ride on, so I ended up doing double duty.  I learned quickly not

even to bother with that. 

I do think that she feels this way- it isn't cold now, why would it be cold 10

steps away from where I am at?  I think taking her outside is the way to do it. 

This morning she told me that her baby doll was cold- It had on more clothes

than she did! LOL  That must be her way of letting us know.  I explained that we

were getting into the car to get warm.  When we got to school I put her shoes on

(2 sizes too big) and she unvelcroed them " too tight, mommy "   She flip-flopped

them on her feet until she got to the classroom.  Then they came off.  Oh,

well.  She did wear the jacket and pant warm-up suit, not zipped up, though. 

The jacket came off the instant we entered the building, but I know they will

make her wear it outside. 

Thanks again for all your help, folks.

Cassie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--- On Sun, 11/23/08, janeen minguillo <jminshan wrote:

janeen minguillo <jminshan

Re: Picky child

 

Sunday, November 23, 2008, 8:31 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this may be oversimplifying, but my kids always fought me at this

age too. and even today. they just can't imagine that they will be cold. why

would they when they are warm right now? many times i would (and still do at

times) walk out with the jacket, mittens, hat and everything to the cold weather

and dress them there. sure i already have a hundred other things to carry, and

many people are giving me looks like i'm totally crazy, but they get it. ohhhh,

right mom, i am cold. thanks for the jacket. unbelievable sometimes, but it's

true. they just are stubborn, and only trust what they see or feel for

themselves.

 

 

 

hope this helps. good luck... this is when i miss summer the most. nothing to

put on...

 

janeen

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ __

 

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet@ >

 

@gro ups.com

 

Sunday, November 23, 2008 8:16:06 AM

 

Re: Picky child

 

 

 

I can see many control issues, and I feel like I give the choices, and I even

allow her to choose clothes at the store to wear, as she will like something one

day and then despise the item for the next 2 weeks.  To me that shows she is

just being 2, but if I allow that to happen, am I reinforcing the negative

behavior?  I constantly second guess myself: if I ignore it, will she continue

for the negative attention, if I ignore it, am I allowing her to do something I

do not agree with, if I battle it, am I turning her off of it (like sitting

still and keeping hands off the potty or putting on warm clothes) ?  As a

teacher, I have many theories to choose from, but I can see flaws in all of

them.  I guess my main concern at this point is to keep her warm.  My 2nd

concern is to make sure she is well behaved.  My mother was on top of my sister

and I all the time!  She commented and fixed every little thing we did.  But, we

were her world, and now at 55

 

and recently divorced, she still tries to govern our mistakes as she would have

when we were 8.  I can see where she went wrong, but I am trying to find a happy

medium, as she was the type of parent that can work for some kids.  I was too

lazy to rebel from her tight leash.

 

Thanks for the thinking points.

 

Cassie

 

 

 

--- On Sat, 11/22/08, diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net <diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net> wrote:

 

diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net <diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net>

 

Re: Picky child

 

@gro ups.com

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 11:47 AM

 

 

 

Those suggestions I just read are both good ones! I was going to mention too

that it's probably a control issue at this age - that mid-year bump in the road

especially at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 can get you by surprise. My daughter had her first

temper tantrum around then and it was a DOOZY and it totally came out of

nowhere. Anyway these kinds of issues could lead to tantrums so I think the

bigger issue is having a plan of action ready in your pocket for the tantrums,

whatever sets them off. 1-2-3 magic has some good suggestions (but I also

disagree with some of their thoughts, so I think it's worth a read but don't use

it as a bible) and some other books too suggest - give the kid some control

(like it sounds like you tried to do offering choices). And then let them go

outside anyway and see how cold it is, or another technique I've employed too,

ok well I don't need to go to the park but I'm offering it to you. If you want

to go, you need to wear

 

this. My daughter is NEVER cold when I am and our house gets kinda cold in the

winter since I'm stingy with the heater, preferring sweaters and slippers to

save energy. So it's always a struggle here too but what most of what I've read

will tell you is, pick your struggles. Things like this, and eating, the kid is

not going to starve themselves or freeze to death and unless they are incredibly

stubborn, or you set it up as a grunge-match they will choose to eat eventually,

or put on a sweater. Control over their own lives, power over you (getting you

into an argument and upsetting you may not seem like something they'd like but

they do tend to feel powerful when they do it).

 

 

 

That said it's constant vigilance against your own motherly instincts to try to

make everyone happy/healthy and let them learn some lessons for themselves, yes

even at 2 1/2.

 

 

 

That's my long-winded two cents!

 

 

 

good luck!

 

 

 

Dee

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

" jenni claire garverick " <jennigarverick@ >

 

 

 

@gro ups.com

 

 

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:17:49 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific

 

 

 

Re: Picky child

 

 

 

Hi-

 

 

 

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

 

 

 

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ __

 

 

 

Cassie Dixon < roxy87cabriolet@ >

 

 

 

" @gro ups.com " < @gro ups.com >

 

 

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

 

 

 

Picky child

 

 

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

 

 

 

Help!

 

 

 

Cassie

 

 

 

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

<<The child I know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too

scratchy, etc. Stuff that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He

also has a fit if his socks aren't put on just right so they'll fit in

his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he can't stand to have his hair brushed

or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater known to spontaneously vomit food

that has been forced on him. He is

generally, needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff

having to do with all of the senses.>>

 

 

FWIW, I had a child like this. It took about 7 or 8 years before she outgrew it

(mostly). So, don't assume it's a permanent trait. It could just be a stage.

 

Also, I've found that it made her more staunchly vegetarian. Even now, in

middle school with all the attendant peer pressure problems (we've agreed that

she won't take vegetables in her packed lunch anymore, because the kids tease

her), she is entirely self-directed on the subject. The smell of animal flesh,

to say nothing of having a vivid imagination reminding her that animals are

tortured and killed, all keep her an unapologetic vegetarian year after year in

an often non-veg friendly school environment. Being sensitive is a good thing!

 

Liz

 

 

[Guest guest]

Kim,

Quite a few times she says, " just me, mommy " while getting dressed, taking

medicine, cleaning her room, etc...  I love when she says it, proving her

independence.  Many times it just takes distraction to get things done.  I have

been really rushed, too, and if she feels rushed, there is no moving that child!

LOL  Sunday it took about 3 hours to get her completely dressed,  but there was

no fuss.

I need a magic trick.  I will only use it in dire emergencies, but I need an

instant " stop crying " trick, other than giving in.  Being a working mom, single

5 days a week, I can't take the fussing.

Thanks for the support. 

Cassie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--- On Sat, 11/22/08, kimguest1 <kimguest1 wrote:

kimguest1 <kimguest1

Re: Picky child

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 1:10 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We have soooo been there. My daughter was about 1.5 and getting

 

dressed and out the door was always a big battle. I mean screaming

 

and just beeing impossible to clothe.(arms and legs kicking, and

 

wiggling).Every time! I tried saying that if she doesn't get dressed,

 

we can't go out. Which totaly didn't work cause she was happy to keep

 

playing at home....which in turn made me more upset because i

 

wanted/needed to go out. She too, would not be happy with the clothes

 

i let her choose between, or even if i let her pick something out

 

herselfe. So i figured that it never was really about the clothes,

 

but that she probably had a hard time adjusting from one situation to

 

the next.

 

Now at 2.5 she wants to dress herselfe, we started with shoes, and

 

with help, showing her whats back and front and so on, she can pretty

 

much do it herselfe. Maybe your daughter too wouldn't care about

 

whats put on if she can be apart of doing it?

 

 

 

@gro ups.com, Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet@ ...>

 

wrote:

 

>

 

> My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into

 

pants and a long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching

 

and begging us to take it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of

 

screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she can't get past having longer

 

clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with tanks and shorts,

 

but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the house to

 

avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting

 

this, but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I

 

give in and try again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but

 

other times she is just excersizing her independence. We gave her 2

 

choices, then we chose. She didnt want our outfit, but didnt want

 

anything else reasonable either.

 

> Help!

 

>

 

> Cassie

 

> " life's a garden, dig it! "

 

>

 

> Sent from my iPhone

 

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

When we were preparing her for getting dressed, she showed resistance in putting

on the first layer of clothing, but the shirt I was wearing was a mock-layered

shirt, so, she knew what it was to look like.  Plus, mom and daughter were

matching, which she is a fan of, so that helped, as well.

 

Cassie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--- On Sat, 11/22/08, jenni claire garverick <jennigarverick wrote:

jenni claire garverick <jennigarverick

Re: Picky child

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 6:43 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think the idea to let her wear her shorts/short sleeves OVER (or

under, for that matter) her long stuff is a great idea. And if she'll go for

that, it may point away from sensory issues.  She may look a little weird, but

who cares? Once she starts wanting to pick out her own clothes, she'll leave the

house mismatched, etc. anyway. My two year old leaves the house with her slip-on

shoes on the wrong feet all the time. Everyone always comments on it, and I make

a big deal about how she 'did it HERSELF' and I think they get the idea to back

off. Also, I agree with the below that perhaps she isn't that cold. My 5 year

old would wear shorts/tshirts 365 days a year if she could.  Much of the time I

let her do it (+sweatshirt) and figure under MOST circumstances she won't lose

any digits and it'll all work out fine. Again, people make comments, but my

husband DOES wear shorts 365 ( no, literally. Even when it's 35), so I think

perhaps it's

genetic. Also, if

 

all of us here in this group cared what other people thought, we probably

wouldn't be here in the first place, would we???!!!

 

At any rate, when I go through this kind of parenting stuff I try to remind

myself that it seems like a big deal now, but in 20 years I will either not

remember it at all, or laugh about it.

 

If you still plan to check out the sensory issues, SID (sensory integration

disorder) might be a good place to start.

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ __

 

" diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net " <diannalu (AT) comcast (DOT) net>

 

@gro ups.com

 

Saturday, November 22, 2008 10:47:35 AM

 

Re: Picky child

 

 

 

Those suggestions I just read are both good ones! I was going to mention too

that it's probably a control issue at this age - that mid-year bump in the road

especially at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 can get you by surprise. My daughter had her first

temper tantrum around then and it was a DOOZY and it totally came out of

nowhere. Anyway these kinds of issues could lead to tantrums so I think the

bigger issue is having a plan of action ready in your pocket for the tantrums,

whatever sets them off. 1-2-3 magic has some good suggestions (but I also

disagree with some of their thoughts, so I think it's worth a read but don't use

it as a bible) and some other books too suggest - give the kid some control

(like it sounds like you tried to do offering choices). And then let them go

outside anyway and see how cold it is, or another technique I've employed too,

ok well I don't need to go to the park but I'm offering it to you. If you want

to go, you need to wear this. My

 

daughter is NEVER cold when I am and our house gets kinda cold in the winter

since I'm stingy with the heater, preferring sweaters and slippers to save

energy. So it's always a struggle here too but what most of what I've read will

tell you is, pick your struggles. Things like this, and eating, the kid is not

going to starve themselves or freeze to death and unless they are incredibly

stubborn, or you set it up as a grunge-match they will choose to eat eventually,

or put on a sweater. Control over their own lives, power over you (getting you

into an argument and upsetting you may not seem like something they'd like but

they do tend to feel powerful when they do it).

 

 

 

That said it's constant vigilance against your own motherly instincts to try to

make everyone happy/healthy and let them learn some lessons for themselves, yes

even at 2 1/2.

 

 

 

That's my long-winded two cents!

 

 

 

good luck!

 

 

 

Dee

 

 

 

-

 

" jenni claire garverick " <jennigarverick@ >

 

@gro ups.com

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:17:49 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific

 

Re: Picky child

 

 

 

Hi-

 

Is this part of a general pattern? This sounds like 2 children I know- both are

suspected (by their parents) to have some sort of sensory issue. The child I

know the best has an issue with clothes, too- too long, too scratchy, etc. Stuff

that wouldn't seem 'scratchy' to anyone else. He also has a fit if his socks

aren't put on just right so they'll fit in his shoes 'smoothly'. As well, he

can't stand to have his hair brushed or cut. He's also an extremely picky eater

known to spontaneously vomit food that has been forced on him. He is generally,

needless to say, extremely sensitive to all kinds of stuff having to do with all

of the senses. I don't know if this pattern fits your daughter or not, just

thought I'd mention it.

 

This does sound like more than the regular 2 year old meltdowns. I guess whe

I've had to deal with these sorts of problems, I always try to work off of the

natural consequences: " We can't go out and play if you don't put more clothes on

because you'll get cold " . But I'm guessing you've tried that. Dare I suggest you

let her go outside in her shorts and when her little lips start turning blue

(like they do in the pool! Why do kids let themselves get so cold in the

water???), she can either come inside or get more clothes on. I guess what I'm

trying to say is you might want to sort out the motivation if you can- will she

put on the pants etc. if it's something she really wants to do? That might tell

you if it's an 'I'm being a pain in the butt', vs. 'There's something going on

that's out of my control'. Just a thought.

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ __

 

Cassie Dixon < roxy87cabriolet@ >

 

" @gro ups.com " < @gro ups.com >

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

 

Picky child

 

 

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting this,

but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and try

again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is just

excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She didnt

want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

 

Help!

 

 

 

Cassie

 

" life's a garden, dig it! "

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

What a GREAT idea!  I could even use it with my 4th graders that try to be

tough!!!

Thanks,

Cassie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--- On Mon, 11/24/08, ERB <bakwin wrote:

ERB <bakwin

Re: Picky child

 

Monday, November 24, 2008, 11:26 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK, take this for what it's worth, because I'm a native Chicagoan:

50 degrees for a SHORT time will not cause hypothermia. My solution would be to

use natural consequences. Let her go outside dressed the way she wants (hide

the warmer layers in your bag). After a few minutes, she'll (probably!) figure

it out. Obviously, you'll have to be with her the whole time and monitor the

situation so that she doesn't get dangerously cold. It's worth a try.

 

 

 

Our elementary school has a large, easily readable outdoor thermometer with a

strip of colors running up it. Representatives from each classroom check the

temperature every day. If it's a " blue " day they have to wear coats, hats or

hoods, and gloves or mittens to go outside for recess. If it's a " purple " day,

they have to wear snow pants and boots as well. Maybe you could set up your own

outdoor thermometer just outside a window and teach her how to " read " it (using

colors for ranges). Then she can take ownership over determining what to wear.

 

 

 

Liz

 

 

 

____________ _________ _________ __

 

Cassie Dixon <roxy87cabriolet@ >

 

" @gro ups.com " <@gro ups.com>

 

Friday, November 21, 2008 4:44:20 PM

 

Picky child

 

 

 

My husband and I spent almost 10 min wrestling our daughter into pants and a

long sleeved shirt. 5 min later she is still screeching and begging us to take

it off. Poor thing is soo very tired of screaming, her voice is hoarse, yet she

can't get past having longer clothes on. We live in Fl, so we can get by with

tanks and shorts, but this cold front of a whopping 50 is keeping us in the

house to avoid meltdowns. Now, she is 2.5, so I know I should be expecting

this, but, do I let her cry herself to sleep over clothing? Do I give in and

try again. Sometimes there are real crocodile tears, but other times she is

just excersizing her independence. We gave her 2 choices, then we chose. She

didnt want our outfit, but didnt want anything else reasonable either.

 

Help!

 

 

 

Cassie