Guest guest Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi- Normally I wouldn't recommend this for ethical reasons, but you might try telling people he has a severe allergic reaction to meat. They would take your dietary 'preferences' more seriously (who wants to be responsible for a little kid's terrible allergic reaction?), and you'd get less grief. Back in the days before restauarants were used to dealing with vegetarians, I used to do this all the time, and never had a problem. On the other hand, when I would go to a restaurant and say 'please leave the meat off because I'm a vegetarian', I'd find bits of chicken, etc. all over the place- I think they would put whatever on it and then remember so just take it off. Blech! Good luck! ________________________________ leahross8_8 <leahross8_8 Monday, March 9, 2009 1:46:49 AM No car, no bus, no food Hi everyone! I hardly ever post anything on this, but I'm always reading it... I'm currently a lacto-veg but I've gone back and forth vegan to lacto for the last 17 years (since I was 11) mostly because I like cheese too much (LOL). I recently moved from Denver to Fargo, ND. And reading on some of the topics I noticed some of you without cars, and someone lacking in a decent place to shop for groceries... Wow! can I relate! Anyway, I've never driven a car. I don't particularly want to learn how, let alone own one... But I am a single-mom of a 6 week old little girl and a 2 year old little boy. The bus system out here is a joke! It really doesn't go anywhere, at least nowhere I want to go, and it stops running at 6pm. I do live across the street from a grocery store, but this is a meat-eating community... I can't even buy tofu there, and the only veg patty they have is the vegan-grillers by mornignstar, which taste too much like meat for me, but my son likes them sometimes. Produce there is a little scary too, I don't know if it's because it's hard to get decent fresh stuff so far up north, or if this is what I can expect all year long. Whatever the case our diets basically consist of beans and rice, and frozen veggies...and sometimes cheese (LOL!). The concept of not owning a car up here is so foreign to everyone I've ever spoke to, that I just don't see much chance of making the bus system more commuter friendly. When I try to bring up environmental issues about cars, half the time I get a response about how there's no such thing as global warming and ND's air clean, so they don't have to worry about it. *SIGH!* It's too snowy and icy to try to bring the kids out on a bike ride for at least another month or 2. So I guess my point is I feel like I'm going to have to learn to drive, and buy a car. I feel incredibly pressured to do so by everyone here because who wants to go pick up the girl with the 2 kids and take them all to the market - or anywhere!? I never had this problem in the city - any city I've lived in. Also, I'm about to start work again and finding a sitter that won't feed my kid animals is terrifying me. The concept of not eating meat is pretty foreign out here too... Some of the things people say to me are so ridiculous! Like: Just because you don't eat meat means that your son can't either? And he doesn't know the difference right now, he assumes if someone gives him something to eat it's food. So, there has been times when he's gotten a bite of meat before I can say " no " and then I get these comments like why can't he eat meat, he likes it. *UGH!* Well, I've rambled on and complained enough, if anyone out there has any suggestions for me, or can justify me getting a car or help convince me not to, please do:). Leah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi Leah, Congratulations on your new family member! I live in a big city with great public transit, and still encounter people who don't get the whole " no car " thing. It sounds like, as long as long as you live where you live, you do need a car. Sooner than you think, your kids will need to get to birthday parties, you will be going to evening events at school, and you will need to stock up at the grocery store. I know what a challenge it is to balance work, a house, getting the kids to and from the sitter, etc. If there is a healthfood store around, or a 7th Day Adventist community, you should be able to find veg-friendly childcare. Good luck, and let us know how those driving lessons go! Robin --- On Mon, 3/9/09, leahross8_8 <leahross8_8 wrote: leahross8_8 <leahross8_8 No car, no bus, no food Monday, March 9, 2009, 1:46 AM Hi everyone! I hardly ever post anything on this, but I'm always reading it... I'm currently a lacto-veg but I've gone back and forth vegan to lacto for the last 17 years (since I was 11) mostly because I like cheese too much (LOL). I recently moved from Denver to Fargo, ND. And reading on some of the topics I noticed some of you without cars, and someone lacking in a decent place to shop for groceries... Wow! can I relate! Anyway, I've never driven a car. I don't particularly want to learn how, let alone own one... But I am a single-mom of a 6 week old little girl and a 2 year old little boy. The bus system out here is a joke! It really doesn't go anywhere, at least nowhere I want to go, and it stops running at 6pm. I do live across the street from a grocery store, but this is a meat-eating community... I can't even buy tofu there, and the only veg patty they have is the vegan-grillers by mornignstar, which taste too much like meat for me, but my son likes them sometimes. Produce there is a little scary too, I don't know if it's because it's hard to get decent fresh stuff so far up north, or if this is what I can expect all year long. Whatever the case our diets basically consist of beans and rice, and frozen veggies...and sometimes cheese (LOL!). The concept of not owning a car up here is so foreign to everyone I've ever spoke to, that I just don't see much chance of making the bus system more commuter friendly. When I try to bring up environmental issues about cars, half the time I get a response about how there's no such thing as global warming and ND's air clean, so they don't have to worry about it. *SIGH!* It's too snowy and icy to try to bring the kids out on a bike ride for at least another month or 2. So I guess my point is I feel like I'm going to have to learn to drive, and buy a car. I feel incredibly pressured to do so by everyone here because who wants to go pick up the girl with the 2 kids and take them all to the market - or anywhere!? I never had this problem in the city - any city I've lived in. Also, I'm about to start work again and finding a sitter that won't feed my kid animals is terrifying me. The concept of not eating meat is pretty foreign out here too... Some of the things people say to me are so ridiculous! Like: Just because you don't eat meat means that your son can't either? And he doesn't know the difference right now, he assumes if someone gives him something to eat it's food. So, there has been times when he's gotten a bite of meat before I can say " no " and then I get these comments like why can't he eat meat, he likes it. *UGH!* Well, I've rambled on and complained enough, if anyone out there has any suggestions for me, or can justify me getting a car or help convince me not to, please do:). Leah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Leah, I can relate a bit to your struggles. We have a 2- and 4-year-old and it can be really hard to function without a car. We haven't had one in two years. We actually moved into a rental we don't really like just so we can be close to the train station. Our lightrail system in SLC is pretty great. Still, we depend on my FIL's car twice a month for big grocery trips. We also have a Whole Foods here, and I work there, so we sort of have it made. But we struggled for a long time living in a different area where a health food store was far away and the public transport was terrible, with a newborn and a 2-year-old. It was a nightmare! Now my partner is looking for a job out of state and we'll be moving this summer, so we're accepting the offer of a car from a friend. I have no idea what the public transport situation will be like where we move because I don't know WHERE we're going to live. Or how we're going to move far away if we don't have our own car. We're a low-income family (less than 50% of the poverty line). So we're going to have a car again, which makes me feel really terrible. But we just have to do the best we can in our individual circumstances. We try to make up for our " green sins " in other areas. We're vegan, we only buy organic, we only buy used, we buy very little and recycle and reuse everything we can, we make our own everything, and so on. We just can't be perfect, especially if a decision profoundly reduces our quality of life. If your quality of life is really taking a beating, as it sounds like it is, then a car could be a good choice for you. For many people, havng a car reduces their quality of life. I anticipate that it will be a lose-lose situation for us if we're forced to live a place where the public transport is terrible AND we have to have a car (which I HATE!!!). But again, individual circumstances may necessitate such a decision. You do have a few options. One is Azure Standard: www.azurestandard.com They are a buyers' club natural foods company. They do deliver in ND. How it works is, you make your order online, then pick your pick-up point. Then once a month you go there and pick up your stuff. They carry EVERYTHING - tofu, grains, beans, packaged stuff, nuts, seeds, dry fruit, and animal products, plus some in-season produce. We buy most of our dry stuff from them and then get fresh produce from the farmer's market (when it's here), Whole Foods or our personal storage. You pay less through Azure because it's wholesale. Most of their stuff is organic and they also buy from small, local companies in OR (where they're located). I absolutely adore Azure and can't recommend them highly enough. Another option is the farmer's market and CSAs. They won't work year-round, but you can buy from them when they're available and try to store some food as well. You do have both in Fargo: http://www.localfoods.umn.edu/fargocommunity http://www.localharvest.org/farmers-markets/M17244 http://www.localharvest.org/csa/M6263 http://www.mhof.net/csanews/newsletter.php?id=4 Personally, CSAs have never worked for me because I can never come up with the up-front cost. But I'm not sure of your financial situation, so maybe it's an option for you. I just saw Jenni's comment, and I must respectfully disagree. If you tell people that your son is allergic to meat, then your son will hear that he's allergic to meat. Then you'll have to either lie to HIM, as well, and tell him that he is, OR you'll have to tell him that it's a lie. And you'll also have to ask HIM to lie. And I think that's really wrong, to ask your son to lie, or to lie to him. We have all struggled with parents, grandparents, friends, family, neighbors, and strangers on the street offering food to our kids, giving it to them without our permission, sneaking it to them, asking THEM to lie to US, and so on. It's par for the course when you make an alternative lifestyle choice. I also have people trying to get my kids to go to church and to watch a lot of television and to play with plastic toys and to fit into gender stereotypes, all things that we just don't " do " in our family. It is a constant struggle asking people to respect your right to parent as you wish. But all you can do is continue to ask, and then to demand, and then to make ultimatums. Our friends and family know that if they do not respect our parenting, they will not be allowed to spend time with our children. That is the penalty for disrespecting us, lying to us, and taking advantage of our children's innocence. I don't feel badly about this at all. If I spanked someone's child when that family doesn't use corporal punishment, or took a child to church whose family are atheists, or gave a child candy whose family doesn't eat sugar, I would be acting in an extremely disrespectful way and I would fully expect to lose the respect of that family and the privilege of spending time with their child. It is no different with vegetarianism. If someone gives meat to your child, knowing that you do not eat meat, I wouldn't lie about allergies. I would calmly explain that, regardless of THEIR opinion of your choice, it is YOUR CHOICE to raise your child as you wish, and if they can't respect that, then they can't be trusted to spend time with your child. We've been through this over and over and over and over and over with my in-laws and we continue to go through it almost every time we go to their house. But lying is NEVER the answer. Good luck! I hope something works out for you. Chandelle On Mon, Mar 9, 2009 at 12:46 AM, leahross8_8 <leahross8_8 wrote: > Hi everyone! I hardly ever post anything on this, but I'm always reading > it... I'm currently a lacto-veg but I've gone back and forth vegan to lacto > for the last 17 years (since I was 11) mostly because I like cheese too much > (LOL). I recently moved from Denver to Fargo, ND. And reading on some of the > topics I noticed some of you without cars, and someone lacking in a decent > place to shop for groceries...Wow! can I relate! > > Anyway, I've never driven a car. I don't particularly want to learn how, > let alone own one... But I am a single-mom of a 6 week old little girl and a > 2 year old little boy. The bus system out here is a joke! It really doesn't > go anywhere, at least nowhere I want to go, and it stops running at 6pm. I > do live across the street from a grocery store, but this is a meat-eating > community...I can't even buy tofu there, and the only veg patty they have is > the vegan-grillers by mornignstar, which taste too much like meat for me, > but my son likes them sometimes. Produce there is a little scary too, I > don't know if it's because it's hard to get decent fresh stuff so far up > north, or if this is what I can expect all year long. Whatever the case our > diets basically consist of beans and rice, and frozen veggies...and > sometimes cheese (LOL!). > > The concept of not owning a car up here is so foreign to everyone I've ever > spoke to, that I just don't see much chance of making the bus system more > commuter friendly. When I try to bring up environmental issues about cars, > half the time I get a response about how there's no such thing as global > warming and ND's air clean, so they don't have to worry about it. *SIGH!* > It's too snowy and icy to try to bring the kids out on a bike ride for at > least another month or 2. So I guess my point is I feel like I'm going to > have to learn to drive, and buy a car. I feel incredibly pressured to do so > by everyone here because who wants to go pick up the girl with the 2 kids > and take them all to the market - or anywhere!? I never had this problem in > the city - any city I've lived in. > > Also, I'm about to start work again and finding a sitter that won't feed my > kid animals is terrifying me. The concept of not eating meat is pretty > foreign out here too... Some of the things people say to me are so > ridiculous! Like: Just because you don't eat meat means that your son can't > either? And he doesn't know the difference right now, he assumes if someone > gives him something to eat it's food. So, there has been times when he's > gotten a bite of meat before I can say " no " and then I get these comments > like why can't he eat meat, he likes it. *UGH!* > > Well, I've rambled on and complained enough, if anyone out there has any > suggestions for me, or can justify me getting a car or help convince me not > to, please do:). > > Leah! > > > -- " The demand for equal rights in every vocation of life is just and fair; but, after all, the most vital right is the right to love and be loved. " ~Emma Goldman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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