Fishing with Grandpa

[Guest guest]

OK, so my almost 6 year old extreme vegetarian is out on his first fishing trip

with my dad. I have agonized over this, prayed over it, discussed it at length.

I HATE it.

 

Even though I am totally opposed to fishing, I feel like it would be wrong to

deprive my son of time with grandpa. My dad is totally NOT a kid person, and

this is the first time he's asked to take any of the children somewhere.

 

Unfortunately, my dad's only passion is fishing. He fishes at least twice a

week, and it's really the only thing he talks about. He is not in great health,

my only consolation is that there won't be too many of these fishing trips. I

also hope that my sensitive son will realize that they are hurting and killing

the fish and be disturbed by it.

 

My husband eats dead fish, the rest of us are vegetarian, occasionally vegan.

My only consolation is that my son is happy to catch fish 'for daddy'.

 

Thanks for listening to me vent. And please, no hate mail. I am totally against

fishing, hunting, killing animals of any sort, and this has been agonizing for

me.

 

~ Cindy, in San Diego

[Guest guest]

Cindy,

 

First, let me say that this in no way hate mail. So please don't take it

that way.

 

You are letting your son do something that goes against your morals. You

are obviously very upset by this decision.

 

I don't think parents should ever compromise their morals in order for

their children to get time with someone, attend parties, have certain

friends, etc. I think when your dad gets back you should gently explain

how it made you feel uncomfortable and that it goes against what you are

trying to teach your son morally. Tell him you love the idea of your son

doing something with grandpa, but you'd like to find a different

activity. If he is completely opposed then he's not looking to really

spend time with your son, he's more interested in teaching him how to do

something you don't want him to learn.

 

I am sure your decision to let him go was a hard one. But from the

sounds of your e-mail it's not one your contious can live with very

easily. So I would not make it again. And I would hope it can be used by

others in the group as an example for when they cross that bridge.

 

Jacqueline

[Guest guest]

Dont worry! Your son will now know what fishing is all about now and then he

will be able to tell grandpa how he feels. I think adults take things better

when they hear them from children. We live in an area where there is a

community pond and it happens to be in our backyard. My 7 year old lets all the

fishing people know how he feels lol.

 

Michelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

cindyk449

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:42:37 +0000

Fishing with Grandpa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK, so my almost 6 year old extreme vegetarian is out on his first fishing trip

with my dad. I have agonized over this, prayed over it, discussed it at length.

I HATE it.

 

Even though I am totally opposed to fishing, I feel like it would be wrong to

deprive my son of time with grandpa. My dad is totally NOT a kid person, and

this is the first time he's asked to take any of the children somewhere.

 

Unfortunately, my dad's only passion is fishing. He fishes at least twice a

week, and it's really the only thing he talks about. He is not in great health,

my only consolation is that there won't be too many of these fishing trips. I

also hope that my sensitive son will realize that they are hurting and killing

the fish and be disturbed by it.

 

My husband eats dead fish, the rest of us are vegetarian, occasionally vegan. My

only consolation is that my son is happy to catch fish 'for daddy'.

 

Thanks for listening to me vent. And please, no hate mail. I am totally against

fishing, hunting, killing animals of any sort, and this has been agonizing for

me.

 

~ Cindy, in San Diego

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Is there any way you can ask your dad to practice catch & release when he is

with your son?

 

Yes, I know that C & R weakens fish and makes it more likely that they will be

caught by a predator in the immediate future. But from your son's POV, it will

be a more humane way for him to get one-on-one time with grandpa.

 

Good luck,

 

Liz

 

 

 

 

________________________________

Cindy K. <cindyk449

 

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 9:42:37 AM

Fishing with Grandpa

 

 

 

 

 

OK, so my almost 6 year old extreme vegetarian is out on his first fishing trip

with my dad. I have agonized over this, prayed over it, discussed it at length.

I HATE it.

 

Even though I am totally opposed to fishing, I feel like it would be wrong to

deprive my son of time with grandpa. My dad is totally NOT a kid person, and

this is the first time he's asked to take any of the children somewhere.

 

Unfortunately, my dad's only passion is fishing. He fishes at least twice a

week, and it's really the only thing he talks about. He is not in great health,

my only consolation is that there won't be too many of these fishing trips. I

also hope that my sensitive son will realize that they are hurting and killing

the fish and be disturbed by it.

 

My husband eats dead fish, the rest of us are vegetarian, occasionally vegan.

My only consolation is that my son is happy to catch fish 'for daddy'.

 

Thanks for listening to me vent. And please, no hate mail. I am totally against

fishing, hunting, killing animals of any sort, and this has been agonizing for

me.

 

~ Cindy, in San Diego

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi-

My friend's dad takes her son with him to an old-school barbershop and they get

their hair cut together. Then they go out for a doughnut. I thought this was an

awesome grandpa/grandson activity -minus the doughnut part, anyway! Just a

thought...

j.

 

 

 

 

________________________________

Jacqueline Bodnar <jb

 

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 10:18:51 AM

RE: Fishing with Grandpa

 

 

 

 

 

Cindy,

 

First, let me say that this in no way hate mail. So please don't take it

that way.

 

You are letting your son do something that goes against your morals. You

are obviously very upset by this decision.

 

I don't think parents should ever compromise their morals in order for

their children to get time with someone, attend parties, have certain

friends, etc. I think when your dad gets back you should gently explain

how it made you feel uncomfortable and that it goes against what you are

trying to teach your son morally. Tell him you love the idea of your son

doing something with grandpa, but you'd like to find a different

activity. If he is completely opposed then he's not looking to really

spend time with your son, he's more interested in teaching him how to do

something you don't want him to learn.

 

I am sure your decision to let him go was a hard one. But from the

sounds of your e-mail it's not one your contious can live with very

easily. So I would not make it again. And I would hope it can be used by

others in the group as an example for when they cross that bridge.

 

Jacqueline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

" Is there any way you can ask your dad to practice catch & release when

he is with your son? "

 

 

This is still unethical and still leads to the death of fish. Catch and

release is not ethical. It shocks, mames and leads to the death of the

fish. Plus, it may make a fan of fishing out of her son.

 

Please, parents, just be willing to uphold your ethics. If grandpa

really wants to spend time with the son he will agree to do something

that doesn't go against her ethics, what she's trying to teach her kids,

etc. If he will not, then he is not that interested in spending time

with him. His mission is likely wanting to teach him to fish.

 

If we don't stand up for our ethics/morals and are so quick to

bend/retract/overlook them, then how can we expect the rest of the

country to understand them or even adopt them? You have to stand for

something or fall for anything... :-)

 

Jacqueline

[Guest guest]

I agree. I think grandpa is being very selfish. Perhaps he could take

your boy to the river and do a bit of exploring instead or the ocean

to look at the rock pools. Both my sons granfathers are keen fishermen

but they know not to take him.

I would worry too that it could really upset your son and even create

a barrier between him and his pop as he could lose respect for him.

Good luck. Know that you have our support in standing up for your

morals. X ange.

Sent from my iPod

 

On 15/04/2009, at 5:06 AM, " Jacqueline Bodnar "

<jb wrote:

 

>

>

>

>

> " Is there any way you can ask your dad to practice catch & release

> when

> he is with your son? "

>

> This is still unethical and still leads to the death of fish. Catch

> and

> release is not ethical. It shocks, mames and leads to the death of the

> fish. Plus, it may make a fan of fishing out of her son.

>

> Please, parents, just be willing to uphold your ethics. If grandpa

> really wants to spend time with the son he will agree to do something

> that doesn't go against her ethics, what she's trying to teach her

> kids,

> etc. If he will not, then he is not that interested in spending time

> with him. His mission is likely wanting to teach him to fish.

>

> If we don't stand up for our ethics/morals and are so quick to

> bend/retract/overlook them, then how can we expect the rest of the

> country to understand them or even adopt them? You have to stand for

> something or fall for anything... :-)

>

> Jacqueline

>

>

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I wouldn't get too stressed out. I've found that sometimes my son can have a lot

more influence than I can in these kind of situations.... and sometimes you have

to have faith that it all works out okay in the long run.

 

Being too forceful and restrictive with important relationships can cause kids

to dig in their heels and be more motivated to rebel and seek out the " forbidden

fruit " that they associate with that person.

 

I let my son go to the circus with my sister and brother in law. I knew he had a

naive and romanticized view of what a fun time he would have. I also knew that

somewhere in his past he had heard of how elephants and other animals are

treated to get them to perform but that probably wasn't on his mind when she

offered the chance for him to go with them. I didn't say anything to him before

he left. It was all a very last minute, impromptu opportunity and he rushed out

the door. I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision to let him go.

 

But sure enough, some AR folks were there and handed out comic book info that

explained in an age appropriate way how the elephants are treated. He enjoyed

being with his aunt and uncle, he enjoyed the clowns and the cotton candy. But

he also had first hand experience and he had difficult but innocent questions

for his aunt and uncle....priceless.

 

Even if he hadn't received the comic book, we would have had ample time for

conversations and books or video clips later on to process what he had

experienced.

 

I doubt that anyone else will ever invite him to a circus, but if they do, I

doubt that he will be interested and instead would probably lecture them on why

they shouldn't support animal cruelty.

 

D