Some unfair criticism on Mark Shand's animal welfare record

[Guest guest]

*Excerpts from Queen of The Elephants:*

*'Stand back!' roared Aditya, 'ophiophagus hannah - it's the king cobra.'*

* 'King cobra,' Parbati Barua said scornfully. Unsheathing her kukri, she

neatly lopped its head off head off and threw the remains in the bushes.'It

is rat snake. They eat frogs too.' Pointing at Aditya's tent, she laughed

uproariously at her own joke.*

* Page 153*

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*In a liquor store we stocked up with a new brand of beer - Dansburg - and a

new whisky evocatively named Bhutan Mist. At a nearby market I purchased a

handsome black and tan cockerel. With its red comb sprouting proudly from

its head, it somehow(no disprespect intended), reminded me of my old friend,

Don McCullin, after one of his DIY haircuts. Coincidentally, I had just

received news that he had been awarded the CBE. In his honour I christened

my new feathered companion Donald McCullin CBE.*

* I presented Dino and Phandika with the shoes I had bought in the Harrods

of Mal Bazaar. Dino was delighted, but Phandika was more interested in the

chicken. *

* It turned out to be a riotous night. We dined on Donald McCullin CBE,

drank Dansburg and Bhutan Mist and danced like dervishes.*

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Page 155 and 156.*

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*Late that night, after our celebrations had ended and her sister had left,

Parbati performed a small puja to initiate me as a mahout. In the flickering

light of our dying bonfire, I bowed down before her three times and received

her blessing. Following tradition, I showed my respect by presenting my guru

with gists of alcohol, chickens and money. In return she handed me the basic

requirements of a mahout - a gunny bag, a kukri and a pair of metal tongs.

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Page 183*

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*Excerpts from 'Travels on my Elephant':*

*It was Tom Coryat, the eccentric Englishman who travelled to India overland

in 1615, on foot, on two pence a day. When he reached the court of the great

Moghul Emperor Jahangir, he wrote: 'I have rid upon an elephant since I came

to this court, determining one day(by God's leave) to have my picture

expressed in my next booke sitting upon an elephant.' I was now obsessed.

With or without God's leave I was determined to have my picture expressed in

my next book sitting upon an elephant.*

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Prologue,

Page 1.*

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*It was now the beginning of August and the Sonepur Mela was not for another

four months. I couldn't wait that long. I decided to leave for India

immediately certain that I would find an elephant once I got there. After

all, I now had a goal - a place to sell it. I just had to find one and ride

to the fair.*

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Prologue, Page 3.*

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*We tried the old food trick. One of us fed her while the other tried to

snap the two front chains together. It failed. After shutting the garden

gate, we drove her into a small area surrounded by two walls. We advanced on

her purposefully, shouting 'Baitho, baitho!' jabbing the spear into her back

legs. She charged at one of the walls, almost demolishing it. Slightly

stunned, Tara stood quietly for a moment. Seizing his chance Bhim quickly

scrambled on to her and took control with the ankush. Gokul then chained

her. She looked unsually remorseful, squeezing her eyes shut when I rapped

the end of her trunk with a small stick.*

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Page 87*

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*Review of 'Travels On My Elephant':*

*'All anyone who aspires to ride an elephant through India will ever need to

know- a pachydermic triumph'-Eric Newby.*

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