[londonvegetariansandvegans] Bad experience after the AGM

[Guest guest]

Lesley Dove wrote:

>

> us, as everyone was in either the cookery demonstration or the

> council meeting, and there was nothing for us and we just hung about

> for a while looking and feeling like a bunch of lost souls, waiting

> for the cookery demo to end and the general social to begin. The one

> other couple with a child who had attended had left early.

 

I thought that the singing and the cookery demo *were* the social.

(Which was a little disappointing, I'll grant.) There was something

else?

 

> The worst bit that upset me and almost had me in tears, was that at

> one point we just looked in at the back door of the cookery

> demonstration, to see if there was anyone in particular we knew there

> who we wanted to see, and maybe say goodbye to as we had decided by

> nearly 6 o'clock that it was not worth our while staying, and the

> woman running the cookery demonstration snapped at us for the kids

> being noisy, and we were only looking in briefly to check if she had

> finished, we also thought she had finished the formal bit where a

> quiet audience was required because she had just asked if we wanted

> to come in for food tasting.

 

For once, I was *at* the event Lesley is describing, and don't have to

ask anyone.

 

The Dove family popped in at the pack. The children were playing, and

made some noise.

 

There was a bit of a conversatoin with the Doves, in which the teacher

good-naturedly asked the children to be quiet. There is no reasonable

way in which she could have described as 'snapping'.

 

> I thought she was very rude indeed to

> tell us off straight after asking us in.

 

I do not think it was a telling off. Her dialogue was more aimed at the

children than adults ( " It's my turn to speak now " , and so would have

sounded patronising had Lesley thought it was aimed at her. But it felt

good-natured, friendy, and asserting the silence that the speaker needed

to speak.

 

> She was giving mixed

> messages.

 

Rubbish. " Please come in, but without disprupting " is not a mixed

message.

 

> It was not our intention to disturb and we had

> intentionally stayed out of the room for ages already while she was

> addressing the group. I honestly thought she was inviting us in

> because she had finished talking and it was time for the informal

> general chit-chat and socialising.

 

Understandable. In fact, the speaking and the tasting alternated.

 

> Her rudeness totally put me off

> sticking around and I think someone ought to have had words with this

> woman for making a young family feel so hurt and left out! But no-one

> to my knowledge said anything to her in support of us and our right

> to be welcomed.

 

You do not have a right to be welcomed. You were welcomed anyway.

 

> I'm getting my faith in the Vegan Society seriously tested right now,

> as the CEO, in response to my complaint about that horrid snappy

> cookery demo woman, suggested that I should volunteer to organise an

> event following next year's AGM that will meet the criteria of being

> both family-friendly and all-inclusive.

 

Well, it would be foolish of Rick to take your side on trust without

hearing anyone else who was there. And he's not that foolish.

 

And they *are* dependant on the people organising it.

 

> I don't mind giving it a try but I know I can't do it all on my own,

> is anyone in this group willing to help me?

 

I'm not willing to take the risk of being misrepresented in several

mailing lists the moment I disagree with you.

[Guest guest]

I hate to prove you wrong Ian on one point, but it clearly stated in

the Annual Report and Accounts booklet that it was entertainment and

cookery demo from 4 pm, with the general informal social from 4.30 to

7 pm approx. Granted, I think I realistically expected the

entertainment to overrun and take about an hour to an hour and a half

altogether as it was two things, which would clearly take more than

15 mins each, so the mingling informally might not be expected to

start until about 5.00 or even possibly 5.30, and we understood that

the times were approximate, but I do not call it going on till nearly

6 pm at all approximate. I think it was understandable that I got

impatient by that time.

 

That woman had had her turn for a good hour, it was high time she let

others just mingle. She came across very bossy to me. I suppose it's

just a matter of opinion, but even Paul thought she was abrupt with

us in her manner, even if he would not actually describe her as rude.

I did not know that the speaking and tasting had already been

alternating, no-one told us that! We might have popped in at the

appropriate times if we had known this! Poor communication obviously.

 

I liked Angie's suggestion on for a social after the AGM next

year (music to dance to while people talked)

 

I'm not about to misrepresent you, just for having a different

perspective on the woman's manner, and I would welcome your ideas on

how to be all-inclusive in future, as you have stated in the past

that you are hopefully a vegan parent of the future. I'm sure you

would not want your own children to feel left out or for you to feel

left out of the vegan social scene after you are a parent, so helping

with making it family-friendly is possibly in your interests too. I

thought you were enjoying the cookery demo as you were in the room

all the time I thought. I think also part of the problem was that

most of the people who were not interested in the cookery left early

so it was pretty dead otherwise and numbers attending were down

anyway this year.

 

I do think all members have an equal right to enjoy some kind of

welcome at the AGM, even if there are a few different things

happening and not all activities can be appropriate if you have

children, but it was not as if my kids were being purposely upsetting

to anyone.

If I thought the formal bit was over, they probably thought so too!

It's stupid for them not to do something to welcome families as most

people have children at some point in their lives, and they can

probably expect membership to be down if they are not more welcoming!

 

Lesley

 

 

 

, Ian McDonald <ian@m...> wrote:

>

>

> Lesley Dove wrote:

> >

> > us, as everyone was in either the cookery demonstration or the

> > council meeting, and there was nothing for us and we just hung

about

> > for a while looking and feeling like a bunch of lost souls,

waiting

> > for the cookery demo to end and the general social to begin. The

one

> > other couple with a child who had attended had left early.

>

> I thought that the singing and the cookery demo *were* the social.

> (Which was a little disappointing, I'll grant.) There was something

> else?

>

> > The worst bit that upset me and almost had me in tears, was that

at

> > one point we just looked in at the back door of the cookery

> > demonstration, to see if there was anyone in particular we knew

there

> > who we wanted to see, and maybe say goodbye to as we had decided

by

> > nearly 6 o'clock that it was not worth our while staying, and the

> > woman running the cookery demonstration snapped at us for the kids

> > being noisy, and we were only looking in briefly to check if she

had

> > finished, we also thought she had finished the formal bit where a

> > quiet audience was required because she had just asked if we

wanted

> > to come in for food tasting.

>

> For once, I was *at* the event Lesley is describing, and don't have

to

> ask anyone.

>

> The Dove family popped in at the pack. The children were playing,

and

> made some noise.

>

> There was a bit of a conversatoin with the Doves, in which the

teacher

> good-naturedly asked the children to be quiet. There is no

reasonable

> way in which she could have described as 'snapping'.

>

> > I thought she was very rude indeed to

> > tell us off straight after asking us in.

>

> I do not think it was a telling off. Her dialogue was more aimed at

the

> children than adults ( " It's my turn to speak now " , and so would have

> sounded patronising had Lesley thought it was aimed at her. But it

felt

> good-natured, friendy, and asserting the silence that the speaker

needed

> to speak.

>

> > She was giving mixed

> > messages.

>

> Rubbish. " Please come in, but without disprupting " is not a mixed

> message.

>

> > It was not our intention to disturb and we had

> > intentionally stayed out of the room for ages already while she

was

> > addressing the group. I honestly thought she was inviting us in

> > because she had finished talking and it was time for the informal

> > general chit-chat and socialising.

>

> Understandable. In fact, the speaking and the tasting alternated.

>

> > Her rudeness totally put me off

> > sticking around and I think someone ought to have had words with

this

> > woman for making a young family feel so hurt and left out! But no-

one

> > to my knowledge said anything to her in support of us and our

right

> > to be welcomed.

>

> You do not have a right to be welcomed. You were welcomed anyway.

>

> > I'm getting my faith in the Vegan Society seriously tested right

now,

> > as the CEO, in response to my complaint about that horrid snappy

> > cookery demo woman, suggested that I should volunteer to organise

an

> > event following next year's AGM that will meet the criteria of

being

> > both family-friendly and all-inclusive.

>

> Well, it would be foolish of Rick to take your side on trust without

> hearing anyone else who was there. And he's not that foolish.

>

> And they *are* dependant on the people organising it.

>

> > I don't mind giving it a try but I know I can't do it all on my

own,

> > is anyone in this group willing to help me?

>

> I'm not willing to take the risk of being misrepresented in several

> mailing lists the moment I disagree with you.