Guest guest Posted November 27, 2002 Report Share Posted November 27, 2002 Because Aliens Love Your Dumb Business Card The Moon is open for business. A California company plans to fly the world's first private mission to the moon next year, delivering messages, business cards, cremated remains, and whatever other moronic crap they can think of, for a fee. TransOrbital Inc. signed a $20 million contract to use decommissioned Soviet-built ballistic missiles for commercial space launches. The unmanned space vehicle, called the TrailBlazer, would orbit the moon for about three months, taking photos, before crashing onto its surface. Private messages, cremated remains and other crap will be carried in a capsule designed to survive the crash. The company charges $2,500 for a business card. Messages start at $16.95. Inert materials are $2,500 per gram. TransOrbital said the company hopes to fly regular missions to the moon. " Wait wait wait, let me get this straight, " said the Gods of Goddamn Human Decency and Common F--king Sense, " You're going to crash a bunch of crappy Russian missiles into the Moon's surface and discharge a bunch of inane business cards and jewelry and powdered dead people and useless solipsistic garbage? Is this a joke? What the hell is wrong with you people? What, you think you own the moon now? Are you all just simpering money-drunk capitalistic jackasses? Is that it? " the gods all said, just a little bitterly. " What's next, dumping 20 million gallons of crude oil in the ocean near Spain? " it added. " Oh wait. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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