Guest guest Posted February 13, 2009 Report Share Posted February 13, 2009 I get this a lot with my family.....Most often it is the are you STILL a vegetarian. I find that the " salad " option is the best as long as they remember not to add meat to it. The other thing that I have had to start doing is remind my husband to not tell them that the cake doesn't have egg. I get funny looks and then big suprised expressions once they actually take a bite. When it is a birthday I no longer make the cake with eggs or oil. It is better all around. SB --- On Fri, 2/13/09, BARBARA KIPPER <Kipper38 wrote: BARBARA KIPPER <Kipper38 Discussion for good choices " VEGSlim " Friday, February 13, 2009, 8:43 AM I absolutely agree that in a discussion/support group all opinions are important to us in our decision making about our ultimate choices. Having folks talk about our needs in weight loss through better planning, really helps me. I like to find good food ideas and improve on them, to better my chance of weight loss and healthier eating. I think my problem of discussion comes with acquaintances who make comments to a vegetarian style, such as * " Is it OK to eat at this or that restaurant; do they have food for YOU? What shall I serve if you come to my house next Saturday, that you CAN eat? " I may be too touchy about this but I get the feeling of implied criticism. Maybe people are just being nice, so I overlook it and answer pleasantly, that I really enjoy a nice salad. [Let's face it if I eat a salad more often, which can be served anywhere, it helps me on my weight loss journey.] Happily there seem to be more vegetarian choices everywhere and even quite a few restaurants that are fully vegetarian in their menu choices. Yay! Is *this something anyone else hears, and if so, how do you handle it? Barb K. AZ/OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2009 Report Share Posted February 13, 2009 My family is quite good about veg and allergy-free food. My husband's family - I wish they would ask me if a particular restaurant was okay or what I could eat. They always " forget " we are vegetarian (it's only been 15 years) or that we are gluten free (only 1 year) or that DS cannot have aspartame or any kind of candy without checking with me first (10 years). They like to pick meat-heavy restaurants and places where everything is pre-mixed. One time (before allergies) I said " we can go anywhere but x " , and where do you think they decided to go? We stayed home. They can't remember if they have invited us over for a meal to leave some potatoes aside without any dairy. They buy chocolates and candy for my son. With the gluten-free and allergies thing, it is just too difficult to go to meals places where they don't care enough to have at least some options for us. If you are going to bake fresh white buns and invite us over without telling me that I need to provide a gluten-free bread option, then how is my son with limited impulse-control supposed to manage? If you put out cheezies and pretzels in various dishes around the house, how am I supposed to keep an eye to make sure that he isn't pilfering them as he chases after one of the cousins? We have tried to pack our whole meal over to BIL's a number of times, but it doesn't work out real well. We still end up feeling excluded and DS can't have any of the special treats. I found that most of our invitations by BIL were just " pity " invitations anyway, he felt like hubby was missing out on something if we had Christmas dinner by ourselves. Now when they get together, we just say " we'll come over after dinner. " When we go to MIL's house, she supplies the salad and potatoes and their own meat dish, and we supply pasta and dessert and prepare everything. That works out pretty well. With my extended family, we usually get together at my mom's, and she coordinates the menus a couple of weeks ahead of time. She lets me know what she is making, so that I can make dishes that work as main course for us and side dish for the others attending, she lets me know if she is giving the little ones any treats and what she is planning for dessert, so I can either help make is " safe " or bring something along. She makes sure that she gets the kind of potato chips that my son can have, and lots of fresh fruits and veggies. My dad has allergies, as do several others in the family, so everybody is aware of everyone else's issues and points out ingredients in the food or feels free to ask. Everybody brings along something of their own and shares what they can. At Christmas my mom even tried making gluten-free shortbread cookies, and they were great! I have been avoiding going to church social activities because the refreshments are always meat-and-dairy-heavy and dessert-heavy, and with our allergies we have to provide not just our own main dish, but salad, side dishes, drinks, etc. as well. It is easier to just eat at home. But I had such a pleasant surprise this week when I was approached to find out what all of my food issues were so that they could make up a special dish and dessert for me. Wow! It was great to actually eat a meal prepared by someone else! Pam On Fri, Feb 13, 2009 at 9:43 AM, BARBARA KIPPER <Kipper38 wrote: > I absolutely agree that in a discussion/support group all opinions are > important to us in our decision making about our ultimate choices. > Having folks talk about our needs in weight loss through better planning, > really helps me. I like to find good food ideas and improve on them, to > better my chance of weight loss and healthier eating. > > I think my problem of discussion comes with acquaintances who make comments > to a vegetarian style, such as * " Is it OK to eat at this or that restaurant; > do they have food for YOU? What shall I serve if you come to my house next > Saturday, that you CAN eat? " > I may be too touchy about this but I get the feeling of implied criticism. > Maybe people are just being nice, so I overlook it and answer pleasantly, > that I really enjoy a nice salad. > [Let's face it if I eat a salad more often, which can be served anywhere, it > helps me on my weight loss journey.] > > Happily there seem to be more vegetarian choices everywhere and even quite a > few restaurants that are fully vegetarian in their menu choices. Yay! > > Is *this something anyone else hears, and if so, how do you handle it? > > Barb K. > AZ/OR > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2009 Report Share Posted February 13, 2009 When my sister and I go to restaurants, she thinks I should order a salad. I keep trying to convince her that I eat things besides salad!! When people ask me about food, I just say I'll eat whatever bread, pasta, veggies, etc that you are feeding everyone else as long as you don't season them with meat. I live in the south where you have to be careful of vegetables. I try very hard to convince people that vegetarian isn't that hard to follow. I find that most waitresses are now told what vegetarian options they have or which dishes they can easily alter. Peggy --- On Fri, 2/13/09, BARBARA KIPPER <Kipper38 wrote: BARBARA KIPPER <Kipper38 Discussion for good choices " VEGSlim " Friday, February 13, 2009, 11:43 AM I absolutely agree that in a discussion/support group all opinions are important to us in our decision making about our ultimate choices. Having folks talk about our needs in weight loss through better planning, really helps me. I like to find good food ideas and improve on them, to better my chance of weight loss and healthier eating. I think my problem of discussion comes with acquaintances who make comments to a vegetarian style, such as * " Is it OK to eat at this or that restaurant; do they have food for YOU? What shall I serve if you come to my house next Saturday, that you CAN eat? " I may be too touchy about this but I get the feeling of implied criticism. Maybe people are just being nice, so I overlook it and answer pleasantly, that I really enjoy a nice salad. [Let's face it if I eat a salad more often, which can be served anywhere, it helps me on my weight loss journey.] Happily there seem to be more vegetarian choices everywhere and even quite a few restaurants that are fully vegetarian in their menu choices. Yay! Is *this something anyone else hears, and if so, how do you handle it? Barb K. AZ/OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 Sounds like bil is very self-centered. When I go to my family's, I always make sure I take things that I eat, just in case, but it's much harder for you with a child. When we go to DH's family, they are very considerate of my eating habits. Peggy --- On Fri, 2/13/09, pdw <pdworkman wrote: pdw <pdworkman Re: Discussion for good choices Friday, February 13, 2009, 4:16 PM My family is quite good about veg and allergy-free food. My husband's family - I wish they would ask me if a particular restaurant was okay or what I could eat. They always " forget " we are vegetarian (it's only been 15 years) or that we are gluten free (only 1 year) or that DS cannot have aspartame or any kind of candy without checking with me first (10 years). They like to pick meat-heavy restaurants and places where everything is pre-mixed. One time (before allergies) I said " we can go anywhere but x " , and where do you think they decided to go? We stayed home. They can't remember if they have invited us over for a meal to leave some potatoes aside without any dairy. They buy chocolates and candy for my son. With the gluten-free and allergies thing, it is just too difficult to go to meals places where they don't care enough to have at least some options for us. If you are going to bake fresh white buns and invite us over without telling me that I need to provide a gluten-free bread option, then how is my son with limited impulse-control supposed to manage? If you put out cheezies and pretzels in various dishes around the house, how am I supposed to keep an eye to make sure that he isn't pilfering them as he chases after one of the cousins? We have tried to pack our whole meal over to BIL's a number of times, but it doesn't work out real well. We still end up feeling excluded and DS can't have any of the special treats. I found that most of our invitations by BIL were just " pity " invitations anyway, he felt like hubby was missing out on something if we had Christmas dinner by ourselves. Now when they get together, we just say " we'll come over after dinner. " When we go to MIL's house, she supplies the salad and potatoes and their own meat dish, and we supply pasta and dessert and prepare everything. That works out pretty well. With my extended family, we usually get together at my mom's, and she coordinates the menus a couple of weeks ahead of time. She lets me know what she is making, so that I can make dishes that work as main course for us and side dish for the others attending, she lets me know if she is giving the little ones any treats and what she is planning for dessert, so I can either help make is " safe " or bring something along. She makes sure that she gets the kind of potato chips that my son can have, and lots of fresh fruits and veggies. My dad has allergies, as do several others in the family, so everybody is aware of everyone else's issues and points out ingredients in the food or feels free to ask. Everybody brings along something of their own and shares what they can. At Christmas my mom even tried making gluten-free shortbread cookies, and they were great! I have been avoiding going to church social activities because the refreshments are always meat-and-dairy- heavy and dessert-heavy, and with our allergies we have to provide not just our own main dish, but salad, side dishes, drinks, etc. as well. It is easier to just eat at home. But I had such a pleasant surprise this week when I was approached to find out what all of my food issues were so that they could make up a special dish and dessert for me. Wow! It was great to actually eat a meal prepared by someone else! Pam On Fri, Feb 13, 2009 at 9:43 AM, BARBARA KIPPER <Kipper38 (AT) msn (DOT) com> wrote: > I absolutely agree that in a discussion/support group all opinions are > important to us in our decision making about our ultimate choices. > Having folks talk about our needs in weight loss through better planning, > really helps me. I like to find good food ideas and improve on them, to > better my chance of weight loss and healthier eating. > > I think my problem of discussion comes with acquaintances who make comments > to a vegetarian style, such as * " Is it OK to eat at this or that restaurant; > do they have food for YOU? What shall I serve if you come to my house next > Saturday, that you CAN eat? " > I may be too touchy about this but I get the feeling of implied criticism.. > Maybe people are just being nice, so I overlook it and answer pleasantly, > that I really enjoy a nice salad. > [Let's face it if I eat a salad more often, which can be served anywhere, it > helps me on my weight loss journey.] > > Happily there seem to be more vegetarian choices everywhere and even quite a > few restaurants that are fully vegetarian in their menu choices. Yay! > > Is *this something anyone else hears, and if so, how do you handle it? > > Barb K. > AZ/OR > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 I had that from the in-laws at first ‹ I found it easiest to say just don¹t worry about me, I¹ll bring a dish. Then I bring the most scrumptious vegan dish I can and they generally try it and love it too! That way they can plan their festivities without having to go out of their way to accommodate me ‹ easier on them and I don¹t feel like a burden ‹ and the added benefit is they can see I don¹t live on twigs and apples. They are often amazed the food is vegan, and as I said, they generally help themselves so I always bring plenty. With restaurants, I tell them pick whatever you like, I¹ll find something. And it¹s rarely a problem. Even if I can¹t find something specific on the menu, you can usually mix and match or make a special request. There¹s a nice club not far from my sister-in-law¹s house and she invited me and my other sister-in-law out one night there ‹ they had nothing animal free on the menu at all ‹ so I spoke to the chef and he was more than happy to whip up a pasta dish with a heap of vegetables and tomato-based sauce on it. It was delicious! Anna ------- 296 / 235 / 130 http://eatbreathemove.blogspot.com/ On 14/2/09 3:43 AM, " BARBARA KIPPER " <Kipper38 wrote: > I think my problem of discussion comes with acquaintances who make comments to > a vegetarian style, such as * " Is it OK to eat at this or that restaurant; do > they have food for YOU? What shall I serve if you come to my house next > Saturday, that you CAN eat? " > I may be too touchy about this but I get the feeling of implied criticism. > Maybe people are just being nice, so I overlook it and answer pleasantly, that > I really enjoy a nice salad. > [Let's face it if I eat a salad more often, which can be served anywhere, it > helps me on my weight loss journey.] > > Is *this something anyone else hears, and if so, how do you handle it? > > Barb K. > AZ/OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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