Guest guest Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 HI PT: It has been years since I have gone to a " Dinner Party " however the last time I offered to bring something and was told not to worry as they would have something vegetarian for me. They did steak and baked potatoes and salad, I had a veggie burger, baked potatoes and salad. Usually if I go to my cousins for the holidays I bring a main course and make sure there is enough for everyone if they want to try it. Since I don't like to go to someone's house empty handed I always bring something. Gayle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 I don't really get invited to " dinner parties " . I get invited to potlucks and I make sure to bring something I can eat. I get invited to " gatherings " and usually the host may make something that I can eat, just because they're good friends, they know my dietary habits and are thoughtful. I will usually tell someone in advance that I'm vegetarian but won't ask for accommodation. I'll eat what I can or not eat at all. If there is nothing there I can eat, it is doubtful that I would return for another " dinner party " there. Gary --- ~ PT ~ <patchouli_troll wrote: > Here is this week's group question: > > When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, > do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can > accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just > make do with what is being served? Or if it depends > upon the occassion, setting and circumstances, share > your experiences when you have either made do or > asked for special consideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 On the other hand, when I am hosting a dinner party, I make it potluck unless it's a very small gathering. I have friends who do low carb, veggie, vegan, death allergies, et cetera, so I *always* ask. When *I* attend dinner parties, they're also potluck. I have a weekly thing with friends, and they know about my switch to vegetarian. I've told them not to make main dish accomodations on my behalf, as they're all carnivores, but just make sure I can eat the side dishes and salad. On 1/22/06, ~ PT ~ <patchouli_troll wrote: > Here is this week's group question: > > When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, > do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can > accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just make > do with what is being served? Or if it depends upon the > occassion, setting and circumstances, share your > experiences when you have either made do or asked > for special consideration. -- AIM: Kyrene Ariadne : kyreneariadne * Dadoukhoi http://www.dadoukhoi.org/ * Temenos Theon: http://kyrene.4t.com * Boston Mysticism Boston_Mystic * NewEngland Hellenists: NewEngland_Hellenists Beloved Pan, and all ye other gods who haunt this place, make me beautiful within, and grant that what-ever happens outside of me will help my soul to grow. May I always be aware that true wealth lies in wisdom, and may my " gold " be so abundant that only a wise man can lift and carry it away. For me that is prayer enough. - Socrates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 It seems that most of what I go to are potlucks so there is invariably always something for me to eat as a vegan especially since I always take a main dish that is vegan to ensure that I don't go hungry. The dinner that I went to over Christmas was at my daughter in-laws and they cooked an entire vegan meal even after I insisted prior to that that they not do so, that I would bring food too. That was so totally awesome and it provided a launch pad to discuss everything from environmental issues, animal issues, and health issues. I was in awe of how aware and accommodating. They eat mostly vegetarian themselves, but they paid attention to every aspect of the meal to make sure it was vegan including the margarine. I have never requested something special at a party and wouldn't but I will say that I wouldn't go if I knew that they were totally animal/meat/dairy/egg oriented. If I am going out to a restaurant though I will tell them that I am vegan and would need to pick a restaurant where I could get something to eat that I would want to spend my money on. That would be my only circumstance where I would request special consideration, but then it is my money. linda ~ PT ~ Here is this week's group question: When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just make do with what is being served? Or if it depends upon the occassion, setting and circumstances, share your experiences when you have either made do or asked for special consideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 , " ~ PT ~ " <patchouli_troll> wrote: > When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, > do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can > accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? i never ask for accommodation, but i do ask if i can bring along something to add to the meal... a side dish, or a dessert, etc. > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just make > do with what is being served? i sort of do think it is rude to ask, but then i guess i am sort of on the shy side. i figure i can always eat before or after i get back home. To me the gathering should be about the people and being with others, not about food per say. It is nice to have good food though; definitely makes it more fun. ~ pt ~ A true measure of your worth includes all the benefits others have gained from your successes. ~ Cullen Hightower, salesman and writer (1923- ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 Like some of the other responses, I get invited mostly to " gatherings " rather than dinner parties. Actually, I seldom get invited even to gatherings because it seems like everyone always expects us to have them over :0( . Not that I don't like to entertain, but it is often very frustrating to be expected to cook for meat eaters when EVERYONE is aware that I am not. The other frustrating thing is that family is always saying, " we don't invite you over because we don't know what you eat. " That is the biggest load of crap! Can you tell that this is a sore point for me? I have been married to my husband for over 11 years and have only been a vegetarian for three and it was no different before I was a vegetarian. Back then they always used the excuse, " but you are such a good cook! " It's not a compliment when used against you :0(. Anyways, when I am invited out to a meal, I always offer to bring something to share with everyone. I NEVER expect people to have to worry about what to serve me. I usually eat something before I go. The one exception to all of this is my husband's daughter and her husband. They always go out of their way to accommidate me. Both have absolutely no problem eating vegetarian and both ALWAYS love it when I try something new. They are the easy ones. Strangely enough, it seems to always be family that have dietary demands of their own that always make excuse why they don't invite us over. Stef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 > > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just make > > do with what is being served? > i sort of do think it is rude to ask, but then i guess i am > sort of on the shy side. i figure i can always eat before > or after i get back home. To me the gathering should be > about the people and being with others, not about food > per say. It is nice to have good food though; definitely > makes it more fun. I do too... but then I wonder if it's rude not to say anything and then end up with a entire meal you can't eat (has happened to me). Then the host/ess gets upset that she could have made something without meat. It's not a huge deal at a party, or certainly not a potluck, but when it's a sit down meal, it's really obvious that you have nothing or your plate. Or if you take a dab of a few things just so the plate looks ok, it's obvious you aren't eating any of it. :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 , " Kyrene Ariadne (Andrea) " <kyrene@g...> wrote: > > I ran into this problem over the holidays. My mom wanted me to just tell > everyone that I'm " on a diet. " > > There are two problems with this: > > 1) I'm already a size 2. They would've been concerned that I'm going > towards anorexia. > > 2) By not eating the food relatives would be offended. Also, the foods that > I would be going for wouldn't necessary be " diet " foods. It'd be pretty > obvious that I had some sort of problem. > > I told her that no, there's nothing wrong with my telling them that I have > problems digesting meat and dairy. That's why I'm on this diet to begin > with. My body HATES animal protein. Eggs have thus far been fine but I > digest those in such small quantities when I actually do digest it that I > might not know if I had a problem or not. > > It's better to just be honest than leave people wondering why you didn't eat > their food. Again, I come from a Jewish family. If you don't eat the food > where you go to, *THAT'S* considered to be rude, and the host will agonize > over why you didn't eat her/his cooking. That's just the sort of culture I > come from, so I have to speak up. That's why I always say something. I make sure to tell them not to go to lots of trouble, just please be sure a side dish or two has no meat, and I'll be fine, I promise. Seems to have worked fine so far - the times I haven't said anything are when I get screwed for being " polite " with nothing to eat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 Reading everyone else's replies, I suddenly feel very rude and demanding. Wherever and whenever I go anywhere I always make sure that people know that I'm vegetarian. These days I can't be doing with being faced with a plate of food I cannot eat - it takes me straight back to a childhood spent sitting miserably for hours over plates of steadily congealing meat and never actually enjoying food. If I think that it will be too much of a hassle for the hosts, then I might arrange to arrive after dinner, or to leave before it. I have rarely been the only vegetarian at any gathering in the last 20 years. Also even omnivores here are eating more and more vegetarian food, recognising the health benefits, or perhaps unable to afford to eat meat for every meal. This question really got me thinking, as I would definitely not provide a meat dish for anyone who came to dinner here. I think the reason for this is that everyone can eat vegetarian food (although they might not necessarily choose to do so) whereas I cannot eat meat or fish. I would always warn people in advance that it would be a vegetarian meal and ask if they had any dietary preferences or requirements and I guess I would expect the same courtesy in return. I wonder if it has become more acceptable to be vegetarian here. When I finally came out as a vegetarian to my family as a teenager in the late 60s it was looked on as being most unusual but now we are much more numerous and therefore an acceptable part of society. Christie , " ~ PT ~ " <patchouli_troll> wrote: > > Here is this week's group question: > > When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, > do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can > accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just make > do with what is being served? Or if it depends upon the > occassion, setting and circumstances, share your > experiences when you have either made do or asked > for special consideration. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 the good thing about not having many friends and not living near family is that we don't have to worry about things like this. i'm kinda joking, but if we have to go to something for hubby's work (and i try as hard as i can to get out of it...the people he works with are uber lame and i don't like being around them)i don't contact the host/hostess about dietary choices. i just make sure i eat something before i go and take something in case there isn't something i can or want to eat. susie --- ~ PT ~ <patchouli_troll wrote: > Here is this week's group question: > > When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, > > do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can > accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just > make > do with what is being served? Or if it depends upon > the > occassion, setting and circumstances, share your > experiences when you have either made do or asked > for special consideration. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 , " artichoke72x " <artichoke72x> wrote: > i just make sure i eat something before i go > and take something in case there isn't something i can > or want to eat. Greetings, Susie, and Everyone, That's good advice, actually very old advice, found in the Havamal: " An early meal a man should take Before he visits friends, Lest, when he gets there, he go hungry, Afraid to ask for food. " I do have something before going to gatherings and dinners... sometimes the host forgets about my diet, but usually there's something that I will eat... I never make a fuss about not getting the so-called square with " meat substitute " ... " The fastest friends may fall out When they sit at the banquet-board: It is, and shall be, a shameful thing When guest quarrels with guest. " However, it's not rude to call ahead. My wife makes sure that wedding parties we're invited to know what I'll eat. I've called restaurants ahead and asked about their menus in light of my preferences. Enjoy, Carl > > susie > > > --- ~ PT ~ <patchouli_troll> wrote: > > > Here is this week's group question: > > > > When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, > > > > do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can > > accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? > > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just > > make > > do with what is being served? Or if it depends upon > > the > > occassion, setting and circumstances, share your > > experiences when you have either made do or asked > > for special consideration. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 You are not alone. I always ask as well (and call ahead or acquire the menu of restaurants). If they cannot or do not want to accomodate, I'll ask about bringing a dish. Or, as you mention, if dinner is only part of the festivities, I could come after or leave early. -Erin , " christie_0131 " <christie0131@g...> wrote: > > Reading everyone else's replies, I suddenly feel very rude and > demanding. Wherever and whenever I go anywhere I always make sure > that people know that I'm vegetarian. These days I can't be doing > with being faced with a plate of food I cannot eat - it takes me > straight back to a childhood spent sitting miserably for hours over > plates of steadily congealing meat and never actually enjoying food. > If I think that it will be too much of a hassle for the hosts, then > I might arrange to arrive after dinner, or to leave before it. I > have rarely been the only vegetarian at any gathering in the last 20 > years. Also even omnivores here are eating more and more vegetarian > food, recognising the health benefits, or perhaps unable to afford > to eat meat for every meal. > > This question really got me thinking, as I would definitely not > provide a meat dish for anyone who came to dinner here. I think the > reason for this is that everyone can eat vegetarian food (although > they might not necessarily choose to do so) whereas I cannot eat > meat or fish. I would always warn people in advance that it would be > a vegetarian meal and ask if they had any dietary preferences or > requirements and I guess I would expect the same courtesy in return. > I wonder if it has become more acceptable to be vegetarian here. > When I finally came out as a vegetarian to my family as a teenager > in the late 60s it was looked on as being most unusual but now we > are much more numerous and therefore an acceptable part of society. > Christie > > , " ~ PT ~ " > <patchouli_troll> wrote: > > > > Here is this week's group question: > > > > When you are invited to a dinner party or gathering, > > do you contact the host/hostess to ask if they can > > accomodate your vegetarian dietary choices? > > Or do you think it is rude to do so and thus just make > > do with what is being served? Or if it depends upon the > > occassion, setting and circumstances, share your > > experiences when you have either made do or asked > > for special consideration. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 At 03:54 PM 1/23/2006, artichoke72x wrote: > the good thing about not having many friends and not living near > family is that we don't have to worry about things like this. i'm > kinda joking, but if we have to go to something for hubby's work > (and i try as hard as i can to get out of it...the people he works > with are uber lame and i don't like being around them) Susie, this is funny -- I refer to my hub's co-workers as " uber lamers " and get no argument from him . We usually manage to avoid those situations too. Otherwise, if it's a full-course meal or banquet, it's easy enough to 'eat around'. Give me a veg, a starch, a beverage, and I'm happy. I do feel though, in this day and age where more people are cutting down on meat consumption, that it's rude not to offer at least some meatless options (thinking about that awful party PT (?) attended where even the stuffed jalapenos contained meat — ugh!). My family is very cool with vegetarianism, especially having faced high-cholesterol issues in recent years. I never thought I would see my brother willingly eat tofu -- the times, they are a' changin'! My hub is an omnivore, so when we have company, we accommodate everyone. He fires up the grill (he even designated a veg-only side where no meat is ever cooked — I wuv him), and we offer veggies, pasta salad or tamales, etc., so no one goes away hungry. > i don't contact the host/hostess about dietary choices. i just make > sure i eat something before i go... I've done this too -- it's a great anxiety reducer. Nancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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