I'd Love Your Insights...

[Guest guest]

Congrats on your daughter's graduation! That sounds reasonable. Good idea

to have it on a different table, what about labeling each dish (veg or not)

with a cute little placecard or something that says what's in it, like an

ingredient label: soy, dairy, wheat, meat, nuts, peanuts, etc -- like for

allergy reasons? You could have the cards at the door, so people could write

down what it is and who to ask for the recipe, that way you have a

flattering reason for asking for the info -- we may like it so much, we'll

have to have the recipe!

 

I have a few vegetarian acquaintances, but none of my close friends are

vegetarian (except for the people on this list! Yay!) and my aunt is my only

veg family member. I don't object to cooking meat for other people --

although I don't like doing it and I usually choose something I don't have

to handle much, like stew meat. I prefer not to cook meat in my home, but I

will -- except for bacon. Smelly, ick! Does the smell of meat bother

anyone? I can see how it might, but except for the smell of bacon, I have no

reaction to the smell of cooking meat anymore -- it doesn't smell good, but

it doesn't gross me out, it just doesn't smell like food to me. One friend

at work mentioned that even though she'd been vegetarian since she was 12

(she's in her 20's), she still thinks it smells good -- like barbecueing, or

the smell of a restaurant outside. Interesting...

 

Audrey S.

 

On Mon, Mar 16, 2009 at 4:52 PM, andefrayser <andefrayser wrote:

 

> My daughter is graduating in May. We are planning a pretty big

> celebration here at the house. (We are expecting over 150 people so far and

> counting). I will be cooking and I have some friends coming the day before

> to help with preparing the food. Many congregation members have offered to

> bring dishes to help defray the cost of feeding so many. (I think this was

> just so wonderful of them!)

>

> Although we are known to be vegetarians, a few of these wonderful people

> have stated that they want to " BTOM " (bring their own meat). I have to say

> that I was surprised by this, but I deferred it to my husband and daughter

> since it was her party.

>

> They decided to allow them to bring meat as long as it was already cooked

> and it was going to be isolated on its own table. She noted on the

> invitation that vegetarian meals would be preferred if they wanted to bring

> a dish, but I am sure that there are those who will bring meat dishes.

>

> All in all I think they came up with a reasonable solution without

> discounting the love that was being shown, but I would like to hear about

> what you have done in situations like this.

>

>

>

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I think this sounds like a wonderful plan!

 

 

 

Beth  Creative Memories - for all your memory preservations needs! 

“The right adult at the right time can make an enormous difference. Many kids

have a history of difficult, disappointing relationships and one good

relationship--one person who is there for them--can make a huge difference.â€Â 

 

 

--- On Mon, 3/16/09, andefrayser <andefrayser wrote:

 

 

andefrayser <andefrayser

I'd Love Your Insights...

 

Monday, March 16, 2009, 5:52 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

My daughter is graduating in May. We are planning a pretty big celebration here

at the house. (We are expecting over 150 people so far and counting). I will be

cooking and I have some friends coming the day before to help with preparing the

food. Many congregation members have offered to bring dishes to help defray the

cost of feeding so many. (I think this was just so wonderful of them!)

 

Although we are known to be vegetarians, a few of these wonderful people have

stated that they want to " BTOM " (bring their own meat). I have to say that I was

surprised by this, but I deferred it to my husband and daughter since it was her

party.

 

They decided to allow them to bring meat as long as it was already cooked and it

was going to be isolated on its own table. She noted on the invitation that

vegetarian meals would be preferred if they wanted to bring a dish, but I am

sure that there are those who will bring meat dishes.

 

All in all I think they came up with a reasonable solution without discounting

the love that was being shown, but I would like to hear about what you have done

in situations like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I'd probably be hardcore and not allow meat in my home. In your case, it's

understandable due to the very large number of guests you expect. It's laudable

you are willing to be flexible, especially since they are trying to help you

defray the expense of such a big gathering.

 

On the other hand, when it comes to cigarettes, I send people outside.

When it comes to fur garments, I don't allow people to bring them into my home.

If I know people are alcoholic or Muslim, I'd never bring wine into their homes.

So I don't see why people insist to bring meat when they know your family is

vegetarian. Then again, I've been vegetarian for 30+ years, and I know there are

zillions of fantastic vegetarian meals that satiate meat-eaters. I am obviously

biased! :)

 

My 2 cents.

 

 

--- On Mon, 3/16/09, andefrayser <andefrayser wrote:

 

> andefrayser <andefrayser

> I'd Love Your Insights...

>

> Monday, March 16, 2009, 2:52 PM

> My daughter is graduating in May. We are planning a pretty

> big celebration here at the house. (We are expecting over

> 150 people so far and counting). I will be cooking and I

> have some friends coming the day before to help with

> preparing the food. Many congregation members have offered

> to bring dishes to help defray the cost of feeding so many.

> (I think this was just so wonderful of them!)

>

> Although we are known to be vegetarians, a few of these

> wonderful people have stated that they want to

> " BTOM " (bring their own meat). I have to say that

> I was surprised by this, but I deferred it to my husband and

> daughter since it was her party.

>

> They decided to allow them to bring meat as long as it was

> already cooked and it was going to be isolated on its own

> table. She noted on the invitation that vegetarian meals

> would be preferred if they wanted to bring a dish, but I am

> sure that there are those who will bring meat dishes.

>

> All in all I think they came up with a reasonable solution

> without discounting the love that was being shown, but I

> would like to hear about what you have done in situations

> like this.

[Guest guest]

I have to agree here for the most part. I don't think it's pure defiance, but

it is extremely rude in my opinion. If it would have been me and yes I'm sure

some would have brought meat anyway, but to those that actually did ask I would

have said that I would prefer they didn't bring it and mention all the wonderful

faux meat on the market today, or referred them to a web site that had good

fairly basic vegetarian meals, or even better mention how much my daughter LOVES

portabella mushrooms (or whatever veggie). I know I probably would have been

stumped as to what to bring for a first course if it wasn't meat before I began

incorporating more vegetarian days into our lifestyle. (Slowly converting, but

we are making progress.) At any rate I know how foreign it is for some, and

would take it in stride if they insisted on meat, and just make a mental note

for future reference. (Not to hold a grudge or be angry, just so I would know

those that can and those that can't imagine a meatless meal.) I wouldn't take

it personally.......well ok, I would have at first, but then I would have gotten

over it and concentrated on the out poor of love for your daughter. It's not

worth getting upset about at any rate. I started believing a long time ago

there just isn't much on this earth worth getting upset about, there are far

better things I could be wasting my time with. lol

 

At any rate, hoped that helped.

 

~Tee

-

Donnalilacflower

Monday, March 16, 2009 10:55 PM

I'd Love Your Insights...

 

 

 

It's only for one meal and if it's known you are a vegetarian family they

should respect you by not bringing meat.

There are so many wonderful recipes to cook. You can find vegetarian recipes

in almost any cookbook. Any guest who would insist on bringing their own meat is

doing that to defy you. That's my humble or you know how I am, not humble

opinion.

Donna

 

--- On Mon, 3/16/09, andefrayser <andefrayser@ > wrote:

 

> andefrayser <andefrayser@ >

> [vegetarian_ group] I'd Love Your Insights...

>

> Monday, March 16, 2009, 2:52 PM

> My daughter is graduating in May. We are planning a pretty

> big celebration here at the house. (We are expecting over

> 150 people so far and counting). I will be cooking and I

> have some friends coming the day before to help with

> preparing the food. Many congregation members have offered

> to bring dishes to help defray the cost of feeding so many.

> (I think this was just so wonderful of them!)

>

> Although we are known to be vegetarians, a few of these

> wonderful people have stated that they want to

> " BTOM " (bring their own meat). I have to say that

> I was surprised by this, but I deferred it to my husband and

> daughter since it was her party.

>

> They decided to allow them to bring meat as long as it was

> already cooked and it was going to be isolated on its own

> table. She noted on the invitation that vegetarian meals

> would be preferred if they wanted to bring a dish, but I am

> sure that there are those who will bring meat dishes.

>

> All in all I think they came up with a reasonable solution

> without discounting the love that was being shown, but I

> would like to hear about what you have done in situations

> like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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19:01:00

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Much love to you Donna :)

 

 

--- On Mon, 3/16/09, Donnalilacflower <thelilacflower wrote:

 

> Donnalilacflower <thelilacflower

> I'd Love Your Insights...

>

> Monday, March 16, 2009, 8:55 PM

> It's only for one meal and if it's known you are a

> vegetarian family they should respect you by not bringing

> meat.

> There are so many wonderful recipes to cook. You can find

> vegetarian recipes in almost any cookbook. Any guest who

> would insist on bringing their own meat is doing that to

> defy you. That's my humble or you know how I am, not

> humble opinion.

> Donna

>

> --- On Mon, 3/16/09, andefrayser <andefrayser@

> > wrote:

>

> > andefrayser <andefrayser@ >

> > [vegetarian_ group] I'd Love Your

> Insights...

> >

> > Monday, March 16, 2009, 2:52 PM

> > My daughter is graduating in May. We are planning a

> pretty

> > big celebration here at the house. (We are expecting

> over

> > 150 people so far and counting). I will be cooking and

> I

> > have some friends coming the day before to help with

> > preparing the food. Many congregation members have

> offered

> > to bring dishes to help defray the cost of feeding so

> many.

> > (I think this was just so wonderful of them!)

> >

> > Although we are known to be vegetarians, a few of

> these

> > wonderful people have stated that they want to

> > " BTOM " (bring their own meat). I have to say

> that

> > I was surprised by this, but I deferred it to my

> husband and

> > daughter since it was her party.

> >

> > They decided to allow them to bring meat as long as it

> was

> > already cooked and it was going to be isolated on its

> own

> > table. She noted on the invitation that vegetarian

> meals

> > would be preferred if they wanted to bring a dish, but

> I am

> > sure that there are those who will bring meat dishes.

> >

> > All in all I think they came up with a reasonable

> solution

> > without discounting the love that was being shown, but

> I

> > would like to hear about what you have done in

> situations

> > like this.

[Guest guest]

Your party, your rules. They can come and enjoy and leave the beef at home or

miss out and stay home and eat. I wouldn't bend an inch.

 

Jeff

 

, " Tee " <teer2008 wrote:

>

> I know there are a few in every bunch, that's just human nature, but I still

wouldn't let it get to me. It shows more about them then it does you, so let it

go, and as you pointed out, they often end up eating those words and actions.

That said I agree 110% it's rude, uncalled for and just wrong, but don't let a

few bad apples spoil the bunch.

> ~Tee

[Guest guest]

I agree. I had this happen to me, I put my foot down and they came without the

me*t and had a great time. Ate seconds and some asked for the recipes. It's not

about anyone spoling the fun, they are the ones missing out if they decide a

burger is worth more to them. Watch and see, they will show up.

 

Liz

 

, " flashback_lunchbox "

<flashback_lunchbox wrote:

>

> Your party, your rules. They can come and enjoy and leave the beef at home or

miss out and stay home and eat. I wouldn't bend an inch.

>

> Jeff

[Guest guest]

I'm not a full on vegetarian and I defend the vegetarian family wish here. Put

your foot down, they have no business trying to bring meat or use it in any

recipe they make. Speak out, too many people are silent it situations like this

and it isn't fair to you or your family. Stand up for what you believe in,

nothing wrong with that.

 

Mark (who really enjoys this group and I may become a veg yet)

 

, " Tee " <teer2008 wrote:

>

> I know there are a few in every bunch, that's just human nature, but I still

wouldn't let it get to me. It shows more about them then it does you, so let it

go, and as you pointed out, they often end up eating those words and actions.

That said I agree 110% it's rude, uncalled for and just wrong, but don't let a

few bad apples spoil the bunch.

> ~Tee

> -

> DonnaLilacFlower

>

> Tuesday, March 17, 2009 10:36 AM

> Judith Re: I'd Love Your Insights...

>

>

> I just don't see it any other way. This small percentage wanting to bring

meat for one meatfree vegetarian celebration is the same group that eats

vegetable lasagna, mac & cheese, salads, bean burritos and other meatless meals

now and then, so to tell a vegetarian family they are bringing meat is defiant.

I went through this for 25 years with my BIL and now guess what? He is

vegetarian. He used to go to vegetarian restaurants with us and become loud and

create a scene, asking the waitress for ribs, or bacon, etc. He see's the light

now.

> Same thing with a coworker, he wouldn't shut up when we had potlucks and he

knew I was there. Well, after his heart attack he ended up coming to me for

recipes and help and now he's a vegetarian and he picks on the meateaters.

> There is the very small percentage of meateaters and vegetarians who have to

voice their opinion, become obnoxious, and nit pick.

> XO Donna

> , judith bell <judithb@> wrote:

> >

> >

> > Much love to you Donna :)

> >

> >

> > --- On Mon, 3/16/09, Donnalilacflower <thelilacflower@> wrote:

> >

> > > Donnalilacflower <thelilacflower@>

> > > I'd Love Your Insights...

> > >

> > > Monday, March 16, 2009, 8:55 PM

> > > It's only for one meal and if it's known you are a

> > > vegetarian family they should respect you by not bringing

> > > meat.

> > > There are so many wonderful recipes to cook. You can find

> > > vegetarian recipes in almost any cookbook. Any guest who

> > > would insist on bringing their own meat is doing that to

> > > defy you. That's my humble or you know how I am, not

> > > humble opinion.

> > > Donna

> > >

> > > --- On Mon, 3/16/09, andefrayser <andefrayser@

> > > > wrote:

> > >

> > > > andefrayser <andefrayser@ >

> > > > [vegetarian_ group] I'd Love Your

> > > Insights...

> > > >

> > > > Monday, March 16, 2009, 2:52 PM

> > > > My daughter is graduating in May. We are planning a

> > > pretty

> > > > big celebration here at the house. (We are expecting

> > > over

> > > > 150 people so far and counting). I will be cooking and

> > > I

> > > > have some friends coming the day before to help with

> > > > preparing the food. Many congregation members have

> > > offered

> > > > to bring dishes to help defray the cost of feeding so

> > > many.

> > > > (I think this was just so wonderful of them!)

> > > >

> > > > Although we are known to be vegetarians, a few of

> > > these

> > > > wonderful people have stated that they want to

> > > > " BTOM " (bring their own meat). I have to say

> > > that

> > > > I was surprised by this, but I deferred it to my

> > > husband and

> > > > daughter since it was her party.

> > > >

> > > > They decided to allow them to bring meat as long as it

> > > was

> > > > already cooked and it was going to be isolated on its

> > > own

> > > > table. She noted on the invitation that vegetarian

> > > meals

> > > > would be preferred if they wanted to bring a dish, but

> > > I am

> > > > sure that there are those who will bring meat dishes.

> > > >

> > > > All in all I think they came up with a reasonable

> > > solution

> > > > without discounting the love that was being shown, but

> > > I

> > > > would like to hear about what you have done in

> > > situations

> > > > like this.

>

>

>

>

>

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>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Fair enough to each their own.

~Tee

-

flashback_lunchbox

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 11:30 PM

Re: I'd Love Your Insights...

 

 

Your party, your rules. They can come and enjoy and leave the beef at home or

miss out and stay home and eat. I wouldn't bend an inch.

 

Jeff

 

, " Tee " <teer2008 wrote:

>

> I know there are a few in every bunch, that's just human nature, but I still

wouldn't let it get to me. It shows more about them then it does you, so let it

go, and as you pointed out, they often end up eating those words and actions.

That said I agree 110% it's rude, uncalled for and just wrong, but don't let a

few bad apples spoil the bunch.

> ~Tee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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16:25:00

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

If meat is allowed I think I'd point out to them that they're bringing a

dish that the guest(s) of honor can't eat. Some, not all, might even get the

idea it's rude. ;-)

 

My (omnivorous!) 2¢.

 

Riley

[Guest guest]

I love this response--elegant and to the point without being insulting.

Peace, Mo

 

Riley McIntire wrote:

> If meat is allowed I think I'd point out to them that they're bringing a

> dish that the guest(s) of honor can't eat. Some, not all, might even get the

> idea it's rude. ;-)

>

> My (omnivorous!) 2¢.

>

> Riley

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Brilliant.

 

--- On Wed, 3/18/09, Riley McIntire <riley.mcintire wrote:

 

> Riley McIntire <riley.mcintire

> Re: Re: I'd Love Your Insights...

>

> Wednesday, March 18, 2009, 9:20 AM

> If meat is allowed I think I'd point out to them that

> they're bringing a

> dish that the guest(s) of honor can't eat. Some, not

> all, might even get the

> idea it's rude. ;-)

>

> My (omnivorous!) 2¢.

>

> Riley