Coffee - Jeanne - and cats and birds

[Guest guest]

I think there is a coffee maker that is hooked to the water supply and you feed

it coffee beans when the stock gets low. It's probably more expensive than my

house, so it is doubtful that I'll ever own one. The coffee maker I have now is

the Cuisinart potless model. You put your cup under the spout and push the thing

that is sticking out and out pours boiling hot coffee. (really really hot

coffee). It is wonderful. Astounding. Almost perfect. (insert exclamation marks,

yet another keyboard is biting the dust and despite taking it apart this morning

and putting back together that key is not working.)

 

Unfortunately if I forget to slide it back under the cabinet, when the cats

decide to jump on top of the nice warm coffee maker, they depress the little

whatchmacallet thingie that you press for coffee, resulting in a stream of

rather expensive coffee pouring over the counter and dripping down to the floor.

I think they get a kick out of doing it because I have watched Linux sit on top

of the coffee maker with one paw attached to a healthy body (think small

bobcat), watching as the stream of coffee bliss goes pouring to the counter.

 

He learned how to do it when I splurged and purchased a pound bag of Jamacian

Blue Mountain. My screams of anguish are woven into this house's memory, I am

sure. Probably after we're dead and gone and someone else lives here, they will

find coffee all over their counter and hearing a woman screaming " DAMNIT

LINUX. "   and " OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. " I'm hoping to be a more active spirit. It

should be rather entertaining.

 

Thankfully Carl has not gotten his way and we do not (yet) live with a cockatoo.

He really wants one. I had a budgie (parakeet) as a child and she was absolutely

a terror with butter and bread. She could open her cage, and did every time we

ate. Since this was back in the time when a meal was not a proper meal without a

plate of bread and butter on the table, the holy terror, aka bird, would wait

till the table was set, then swoop down and start pecking at the butter. After

she was filled with sufficient butter, she'd swoop over to the plate of bread.

 

When I worked for a local vet, he had a large peach colored cockatoo who

despised male creatures of all ages. She would scream if a male came any closer

to her cage than 10 feet. My ears still ring, thinking of Peaches. One night she

got out of her cage and she totally destroyed about a dozen large ceiling tiles

and Doc had to climb up into the ceiling to retrieve her. He was well pecked for

his efforts.

 

One night Carl had to pick me up, and he saw Peaches. Peaches saw him. Violins

went off, gently playing the most sappy love songs. He went to the bird in slow

motion, the bird climbed to her perch, lifted her crest and started making the

most adorable sounds none of us had ever heard from her throat. He scratched her

behind the crest, she crooned at him, trying to get closer and giving little

love nibbles to his fingers. The vet came closer to see what had happened to the

Bird From Hell (as she was lovingly called by most patrons of the vet). She took

one look at him and started flapping her wings and shrieking.  Carl started

talking to her again and she put her crest back up and resumed crooning to him.

Ah sweet love.

 

I think it is just as well that we couldn't afford her. I have a strong feeling

that Peaches would have had me out of the bed and away from her human. Heaven

only knows what she would have done to the cats and dogs here. Now and then Carl

will mention the bird and I'll think along the lines that maybe a cage of

finches or a small cockatiel would not be bad, then I remember how smart my

Tweetie and the vet's Peaches were and I can only imagine birds flying

everywhere, cats flying everywhere, dogs barking and trying to fly everywhere

but jumping on us, on our heads, the curio cabinet, television and who knows

where else, and I come back to my semblance of sanity.

 

Jeanne in GA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Love your stories, Jeanne!

 

My cats are fascinated by the coffee maker (not used often, so their

interest is justified) and the bread machine -- especially the infamous

Myrtle, who eats non-food items (with certain textures she likes), and

Matilda, who eats all food items (including dog food and bird food).

 

Parrots are great, but definitely high-maintenance. My Goldie is a red-lored

amazon, imported in 1984. I've had her for 5 years and she can definitely be

a terror. She embarrassed me quite a bit by literally throwing herself,

cooing and ooo-ing, at the furnace repair guy, who had a full beard and

mustache (I think she must have been raised by a man with facial hair)! She

has destroyed innumerable electrical cords (before I got smart), a laptop

keyboard (I now know how to replace them!), and about a square foot of

linoleum behind the toilet in my bathroom before I caught her at it. My two

smaller parrots are less destructive, but no less-maintenance! I love them

anyway. I too, had a precocious parakeet who opened her own cage door and

pretty much bossed my 11-year-old self around -- she totally knew I was just

a kid!

 

Sorry for being soooooo OT!

 

Audrey S.