OFF TOPIC diary of the dog and cat

[Guest guest]

The Dog's Diary

 

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - The kids! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on master's bed! My favorite thing!

 

The Cat's Diary

 

Day 983 of My Captivity

 

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling

objects. They dine lavishly on fresh foods, while the other inmates and

I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt

for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in

order to keep up my strength.

 

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an

attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I

decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had

hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending

comments about what a " good little hunter " I am. Bastards!

 

 

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I

could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

confinement was due to the power of " allergies. " I must learn what this

means, and how to use it to my advantage.

 

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

 

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released,

and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards

regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have

arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now ...